thenearshore | Semi-Open

[ For a while there, Sanzo had lost track of time and he's startled when he realizes night has already fallen. It had been easy given the sheer overload of information, but one thing was certain. He's found himself in a position that he can't possibly accept, but perhaps he's been placed correctly to do something about it.

If not, some changes will have to be made. Either way, he's going to need to have a serious talk with Elsa and Hakkai.

He finds himself fidgeting one-handed with a battered yellow lighter, thumb tracing along ridges in the plastic as he leans on the balcony railing. He's abandoned the formality of his robes by now, letting them hang about his waist, and the Maten sutra is rolled up, tucked safely away. There is no doubt that there's a great deal wrong here, and the odds were unfairly stacked. If that ought to demoralize him, he surely doesn't know it.

No, he's not going to let anything block his way. ]

Edited 2016-06-22 00:34 (UTC)

[This wasn't how Elsa had envisioned coming home at the end of the day: clothes torn and bloodied, skin cut and bruised, only half her hair in the bun she'd tied it into this morning, a slight limp to her step. She'd thought, at best, there'd be scrapes and bruises that could easily be ignored by victory, the knowledge they were supposed to obtain down in Yomi-no-Kuni. Yet here she and Hakkai are, approaching the temple with their head down and their tail between their legs.

Everyone had been right to try and stop them from going. Everyone had been right to be afraid. Everyone had been right to tell them they might die or be stuck there for eternity. That's exactly what had almost happened, and now Hisoka is dead, and she blames herself for it. The last time she'd had a brilliant idea to get out from under someone's control, the result had been more or less the same. That proves she shouldn't do this anymore, she's got bad luck when it comes to escaping forced employment.

There's nothing she can think to say to Hakkai as they walk into the temple. Sanzo will probably be disappointed, angry, might ask to be released--]

Hakkai, if you want me to release you, I will. I-- I put us all in danger. Someone died. I'm-- [She purses her lips, shakes her head.] I was wrong.

[It's possible that Sanzo heard that. Right now, she's prepared for what he may have to say.]

[Hakkai is walking to her left, putting Elsa on his blind side so that he can guard her. When she speaks at last, his head snaps to the side to bring her back into view.]

Do you want to release me?

[The failure wasn't just hers. The mistake wasn't just hers. Hakkai had supported the idea from the beginning. He hadn't expected to be lucky to escape with only one death.

He had expected the wounds, the bloodstains, the phantom ache up and down his arms as if the vines torn by hair had been a part of his skin. That seems perfectly normal after a battle. The other shinki's death, though....

It had been unexpected. He doesn't need to feel Elsa's emotions the way she can feel his to understand that she's blaming herself.]

I went of my own free will.

No.

[It's selfish, but it's the truth, and she had told him he could rely on her. So she is honest now, as she has been since that night the rain wouldn't let him sleep.

She grasps her upper arm, fingertips finding the slash in her sleeve and pressing on the cut that has barely started to heal.]

You're right. You did. [Shaking her head again, she sighs.] And I'm glad for that. It would've been worse if you hadn't been there.

Elsa, please don't.

[He reaches over, taking her wrist very lightly to pull her fingers away from the cut.]

That should be cleaned and bandaged.

[All of their wounds should, although Hakkai doesn't have any serious injuries himself: a few cuts, those phantom pains, and blood drying in his hair from what had been a chip in his blade until he returned to this form.

He adds, in a low voice, looking down at her injury:] I would prefer not to be released.

[There are other gods he considers reasonable. Other gods he could work with, but this place by Elsa's side is the place that he has begun to make his own. He won't give it up so easily.]

[She lets him pull her hand away, nodding absently. Of course, he's right. He is right about all he's said so far since they got back, and she wants more than ever for him to choose to remain her shinki. They may say that gods can do no wrong, that they need guidance because they are not human, and maybe that's true, but Elsa is finding that even though she still feels human, Hakkai's guidance is something she has come to depend on. It's terrifying and amazing all at once.

Much like the relief that floods through her when he tells her how he feels.]

Then I won't do it. [Smiling gently, she pulls back her hand.] I'm glad to hear that. I value your opinion and your strength so much. And your company.

[And his cooking, but she thinks that's probably a comment best reserved for later.]

[Hakkai looks ahead again and laughs, softly: it's the kind of laugh that could sound genuine to a stranger, but the lack of humor in it is easy enough for anyone who knows him to pick out. He folds one arm over his stomach, fingers catching the edge of his sleeve and worrying absently at a tear there that he'll have to darn later.

With his head turned forward, she's just a blur at the edge of his vision again.]

Please only release me if I fail you too badly to be allowed to stay, Elsa.

[And that is that. He starts walking again towards the warm lights of the temple.]

[ Their voices carried so well on the quiet night air, and Sanzo doesn't like what he hears. He has no compunctions about eavesdropping, though what he hears guarantees that he can't just let them by. He moves quickly, making his way to intercept them at the entrance. His eyes are hard as he looks them over, assessing.

They were idiots. They were damn idiots, and he wants to know exactly what stupidity they were up to. "Research trip?" Bullshit.

Despite the informality of his current state of dress, he carries himself with an air of severe authority. The words he speaks, however, are rough and aggravated, ]

Where the hell have you been?

Edited 2016-06-22 15:42 (UTC)

[Well, to be fair, it was a research trip, at least in part. It just happened to be a research trip to Yomi-no-Kuni. That's what really complicated things.

And though Elsa knows it's no good being short with him, his anger courses through her and makes her stubborn, more so than usual.]

Yomi-no-Kuni.

[Because it's no use lying. Besides, he'd find out sooner or later anyway. It's better if he hears it now, from her.]

How was your day?

Ah, it's good to see you're settling in so fast!

[Hakkai's hand drops back to his side and his posture straightens, subtly, wiping away any hint of vulnerability.

It probably isn't very reassuring to smile brightly when they're both tattered and bloodstained, but it is a reflex, and he doesn't bother to stop himself.]

[ Yomi-no-kuni. It'd come up in his reading and in such a capacity that, though he refuses to let it reach his face, he's utterly taken aback. There's more going on here than he could guess at, and it's an uncomfortable position to be in. The only saving grace here is that it wasn't like he was counting on the ability to work with them. If they're not what he needs, he'll move on.

He's struggling with several competing emotions, but there's something reassuring about the anger. It's certainly better than the wary unease that Hakkai's smile invokes. ]

Get your asses in here. [ Spoken as if he's used to being obeyed. ] We're going to talk.

[No, see, Elsa has definitely spoken to students this way before, her voice hard and her gaze leaving no room for disobedience. And she has also been talked down to, ordered around, berated for failing. Sanzo's anger lends strength to the tiny spark of her own that she feels right now, almost enough to override the guilt weighinf on her shoulders.

She doesn't snap at him for this, like she wants to (she does owe him an apology for the lie, after all), so instead she huffs and strides past him into the temple, ignoring the pain in her leg. She heads for the kitchen, where at least she and Hakkai will be able to hydrate while they're being scolded.

When they're all assembled, she will whirl to face Sanzo and say,] All right. Talk.

Edited 2016-06-22 17:56 (UTC)

[The tone of Sanzo's voice, like an aggravated parent scolding his children, annoys Hakkai, but Elsa seems to be angry enough to handle any reprimands on her own.

He follows her to the kitchen without a word, going to the stove to pick up the kettle and fill it. This sounds as though it will be a shouting match. He and Elsa have had a very long day, and Hakkai, at least, wants tea.]

[ It's a product of being blindsided, mostly, though he thinks knowing likely wouldn't have made him any more comfortable with the prospect. He sits heavily in one of the kitchen chairs, leaning back in it. Those two were battered and beaten on, but they were still able to keep going. He has no sympathy, not when he's overwhelmed as it is. ]

If you'd said you were interested in the afterlife, I could have told you the easy way- die and get it over with. [ Yet that might not even work that way here, not necessarily. If 'shinki' could have a flawed rebirth after death, left with parts of themselves in a baffling patchwork then he isn't sure how a god's death would be handled.

He rummages about in the folds of the robes hanging around his waist, producing his increasingly close to empty pack of cigarettes. ]

You didn't say anything. [ Not a thing besides the bullshit about 'partnership' last night. He knew better than to trust something like that. ] Are you going to start now?

[Elsa will drink whatever Hakkai makes. (How could she release him, or even think of it, when he hasn't done anything that merits that? They have fallen into a good rhythm together, wordlessly working in sync like this. Despite what she knows of his past, she doesn't believe he could do something so terrible as to deserve being released, not now, not the Hakkai she has been getting to know.) The simple act of his making tea right now steadies her, balancing out Sanzo's anger, and canceling out her guilt, at least for now.]

Isn't this the afterlife already? I may not have been taken at the moment of my death, but for all practical purposes, who I was no longer exists. [Now matter how strongly she feels like she is still mortal, like her old life is only a breath away. Her friends, the people who'd saved her--]

You haven't been here very long. You haven't seen what can happen here, how wrong things can go. There was a very costly mistake about two weeks ago, and all of us took part in it, feeding people chocolate poisoned with ayakashi. [As she emphasizes the word, there's a surge of white-hot anger in her that almost makes her want to march right back into Yomi for answers.

Almost. All she needs to do to turn away from that thought is remember Hisoka, and how close they'd all come to dying, and how Hakkai's blade had chipped, how she'd feared she was going to get him killed.

The feeling passes, and she sighs, grounding herself. Her voice is lower when she speaks again, but no less firm.] We helped kill innocent people. Who we helped is a mystery, but I'm more concerned with the system that let this happen.

[Heaven. This place. Whatever has brought them here. Yomi yielded no answers, and that frustration bubbles below the surface, keeping her from collapsing into a chair despite how tired she is.

She's not so tired, however, that she doesn't notice the pack of cigarettes in Sanzo's hand.] No smoking inside.

Dying wasn't very effective the first time.

[It's all Hakkai bothers to add: it's true for both himself and Sanzo. Whether it's true for all shinki, he doesn't know. Hibari came back. Hisoka... does not seem to have done so.

There's nothing there to rely on.

He sets the kettle on the stove and turns around, folding his arms across his chest.]

Elsa is correct. Amaterasu herself may be complicit, or, at least, placing her trust in someone who is.

Izanami seemed like a possible outside source of information.

[It was a miscalculation. The warnings had been absolutely correct, and a boy had died. There's no need for Hakkai to hand Sanzo that ammunition, though. He isn't in the mood to hear it from someone else's lips.]

[ Well, he'd wanted to know.

It's clear why they had rushed themselves into danger, but he's still not willing to let up. Very carefully, Sanzo doesn't think on why this might be his problem in any sense.

His gaze is intent, piercing as he listens to first Elsa's tirade, and then on Hakkai as he supports her. He's still pissed-- they were stupid about it, either way, but he can see how that guilt could drive someone to desperation. It's one of two problems, and he can't address them both. ]

Tch. That's a damn mess. [ He's tapped out a cigarette, holding it between his fingers because he damn well needs one right then. He doesn't light it, not yet, though not in response to that prohibition. ]

You have no right to act like this is death. It's not. Death leads to dissolution and rebirth, so don't give me that. The person you were yesterday doesn't exist, and that's part of being alive.

[ The anger banks into something more like resolve. ]

I don't know why the cycle of karma is being twisted, but, if you want to see someone pay for it, you have to keep living. [ His voice is still hard, but surprisingly level. ] You can live enough to make up for the dead, if you have to, but guilt-driven recklessness will make it all meaningless.

I don't know much about karma -- I grew up in America -- but that's... that's good advice.

[Was that part of his training in life? Helping people calm down, showing them where the places they can go when they've lost their way? How fortunate for them if that's the case. How fortunate for Elsa, who feels so out of place here, in so many ways.]

It was reckless of us, even if it wasn't guilt that drove us there. [She turns to Hakkai, gaze falling on the matted patch of hair where his blood has dried.] Guilt would've been guiding me if you'd been hurt any worse, though.

[How does it feel when your shinki dies? What is Tsuzuki going through because of her? Elsa sighs, her posture loose but perfect, as if about to begin to dance.]

How do you suggest we move forward, Sanzo? [Facing him again, she pauses. He has been her shinki for barely more than a day, yet here she is, bringing him into her fight against whatever is twisting all their lives however it pleases. Right now, she doesn't feel resistance from him. That's enough for her to keep going.] What should we do next to find out what's going on without gettibg anyone else hurt, or ourselves killed?

[Hakkai is about to argue with the characterization of reckless -- yes, it was a risk, of course, but reckless implies that they didn't know that -- but with both Sanzo and Elsa agreeing, he huffs out a breath instead and lets it go.]

Please don't worry about me, Elsa, I'm barely scratched.

[He's not the one who died. That thought sends a pang of guilt twisting through his gut, sharply enough that he knows she'll feel it even though he keeps his face still.

The lid of the teakettle rattles with escaping steam. His gaze shifts from Elsa to Sanzo, and he says, softly:] Do you believe that just living can make up for the dead?

[ In all reality, Sanzo has to admit to himself that he doesn't know. He can't know if it's right, but it feels right. ]

I think... we've got a hell of a lot of living to do to find out.

[ Heedless of the earlier admonition to not smoke, he puts the filter to his lips and sparks his battered yellow lighter. ]

We can start planning in the morning.

Ooooooooi, pardon th'intrusion!

[ Gojyo's voice carries right through the temple as he stomps inside out of the sun. It's taken some looking, but he's finally managed to find Men-something, Hakkai's god's house. (It probably would have taken less time to find if he'd remembered her full name, but in his defense, he hasn't been sober since he arrived.)

At least he's found his shirt. Or a shirt, anyway. A shirt, and a pair of boots that are tracking dusty footprints across the temple floors as he strolls right on in, looking blearily around for a familiar face. ]

Th'mighty and kinda hungover god Dionysus humbly requests an audience with th'lady god of the house!

[ It's at the first half of the 'ooooooooi' that Sanzo tenses up like a startled cat, dropping his lighter and he has his revolver out before it hits the ground. By the end of it, he's recognized the voice, and yet he's still pushing up out of his seat with the weapon in hand. ]

But, first, I'm going to stomp a cockroach.

Edited 2016-06-23 21:59 (UTC)

[Oh no you don't with that thing--

Elsa stands in front of Sanzo before he's properly standing, shooting him her Teacher Glare before she turns and faces their, um, guest. She looks considerably less hostile when she looks at him, but she isn't smiling. He has intruded, after all.]

That would be me. How may I help you?

Gojyo?

[Hakkai reaches out to take the cigarette out of Sanzo's mouth and glares pointedly at Gojyo's filthy boots, which are leaving dirty footprints across the kitchen floor right now to match the muddy footprints he and Elsa have already left.

The last thing he needs right now is more mess in the house.]

[ If Hakkai was worried about the mess in the house he'd have done something about the blood on his face. Gojyo's bloodshot and half-focused gaze drifts first over Elsa (with a raised eyebrow and a smirk as she steps in front of the shitty monk), but then he sees Hakkai and all his amusement drains away. ]

Hakkai.

[ He will never be so hungover as to not immediately switch into combat-ready mode when seeing blood on his friends. Quickly, he glances at Sanzo -- uninjured -- then the woman, Elsa, who... shit, who is bruised and bloodied as well. Something bad happened that Sanzo wasn't involved in, and they just got back.

They went and did something stupid without Sanzo.

They went and did something stupid without Gojyo.

For a moment he's so angry he could spit. ]

Yeah. [ Finally he tears his eyes away from Hakkai's blood to address Elsa. ] You can point me at your first aid kit, then go sit back down.

[ This, right here. This is why he fucking drinks, okay? ]

Edited 2016-06-23 23:48 (UTC)

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