thenearshore | this is fine

Entry tags:

this is fine

Who: Hazel and Jae-Ha
What: gratuitous hurt/comfort? naturally
When: late night after the zombies
Where: their big house
Warnings: none yet
Summary: "dear everyone: fuck off. love, hazel"

[Sometime after their new, smaller Hazel has been tucked in to bed in one of the many spare bedrooms (bless her, she is small and precious and deserves better than this place), the bigger Hazel makes some vague comment about bedtime "for grownups too" and uses it as an excuse to drag Jae-Ha up to bed.

Now, how will they get ready for sleep if Hazel needs to have an arm around Jae-Ha in some capacity at all times...?? This will be their first challenge.

]

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[The constant hovering from Hazel is really sweet, and it's only really a "problem" when Jae-Ha has to stop and stare at the dresser instead of actually get out his pajamas because there's an arm around him and it's hard to bring himself to pull away.

He's been feeling guilty and down this whole time, and he knows better than to hide anything from Hazel when they're emotionally connected like this... but it feels like a habit. He smiles thinly, turning and placing his hand over Hazel's to gently urge it between them instead of around him. PJ time, dear...]

How will we survive with a child in the house? [Now is a great time for semi-inappropriate jokes.]

[No... PJ time is for squares... Hazel reluctantly pulls his hand back to himself, hovering near Jae-Ha's side before dropping it completely. Just you wait, dear.

But fine, PJs.]

We'll have to start lockin' doors. She's a nice kid.

[He laughs, as quiet as it is, and it trails off as he changes. He puts on his dumb dragon t-shirt and some PJ pants instead of his robe, pulls the ribbon out of his hair and sets it on the dresser as he catches his beat up face in the mirror.

Hmmm, he sure did just stand there and take some punches. Turning quietly, he'll interrupt whatever part Hazel is at to pull him into a hug.]

[Well, Hazel is about ninety percent into his PJ pants when Jae-Ha pulls at him, so at least his pants don't just drop to the floor in a stupidly comedic way when he lets go to hug Jae-Ha back immediately. He has better priorities than these pants, honestly...]

Do ya want some ice? I can go get some ice. [He probably covered Jae-Ha in ice when they got home earlier, but does he need more? Hazel mumbles this into his dumb dragon chest.]

If you fetch me any more ice I'll freeze, I'm sure of it.

[Lightly, he says that against Hazel's cheek, squeezing him tight before he lets him slip free again. Sorry for interrupting pants...]

Thank you. I didn't know what to do. Even if I only remember that small portion of things, my feet were stuck in place... [Hmm, he presses the palm of his hand over his covered eye, frowning.]

I only wish you didn't have to do anything at all. Are you sure you're alright?

[But... hmm. Okay, he'll go back to tugging on his PJs, and he'll be reaching for Jae-Ha again as soon as he's all set with those. Hey.]

I've been better, but I'll get through it. I'm more worried about what you're thinkin' after all that. [He can feel it, so.] Wanna talk about it?

[This is firmly within the realm of things they should talk about that Hazel would rather never think about again, but look, he's trying!]

[What he's thinking... Hmm. He knows Hazel has to try to say things like that, and so it's really sweet to have him asking to talk like that. At the same time, speaking is so difficult when it comes to this. Stepping back into this close hold, he leans down a little and lightly touches at Hazel's hair.]

I was thinking that I am something of a monster.

[Ah. Hazel looks up slightly at him, frowning...]

You're a good man. You've done nothin' to nobody to deserve that.

[So... there!! There's the tiniest beginnings of a thought about all this and his part in it in the back of his mind, but he can't quite articulate it now and it only deepens his frown. Jae-Ha is a good person; he knows that much.]

[ Hazel is still sweet, but there's something lacking in that. Jae-Ha wouldn't expect any more to be said, but there's just this doubt that it's as simple as that, right now. How does he explain... ]

Just by being born, I ruined my predecessor's chance at a life beyond that town. [ He curls his fingers into Hazel's hair, pressing a slow kiss to his cheek. ]

Don't get me wrong; I know being born like this wasn't my decision, so I'm not blaming myself for it. But I do think I'm at least a little bit of a monster, as I am.

[Ugh. He'll skip "you didn't ask to be born," because no one needs to get existential at a time like this, but he still doesn't like that answer.]

You're not and ya didn't. You're not the one who decided the two of ya needed to be locked up, so there's nothin' that happened that's rightly your fault. Even today, ya never raised a hand against the man.

[Like, maybe he should have, Hazel thinks, but it's too late for that now. He's mercifully not going to say that aloud.]

[Mmm... This is such a difficult situation. He understands Hazel's words, and he even believes them (or wants to?) but his feelings are another story. So, he just lets out a short laugh, glancing to the side as his grip on Hazel loosens a little.]

Sorry about that, as well. I must look hideous.

Well, ya turned down more ice. [So there, live with it. Hazel nudges him to get to the bed now that it's sad cuddle time. Go, go.]

I love you, so shush about your face and let's go to bed. You'll be prettier in the mornin'. [gooooo]

[That gets a little laugh out of Jae-Ha. He deserves that for joking about his face, so it's fair. But alright. In response to the nudge, he'll move over to the bed and crawl in first, turning on his side immediately to wait for Hazel to come closer. Impatiently, he reaches for him before he's entirely settled in, pulling him closer into his chest. Come here.]

I really mean it. You helped me a lot back there. [It doesn't take away from how horrible it was to see Hazel lose it like that, but he hopes it can mean something over that. Cuddle with him now...]

[He's here, he's here, quickly wiggling close to Jae-Ha and throwing an arm around him. The joking makes him worry a little less, that's true enough, but he's still worrying. Is Jae-Ha okay, should he feel something more than he does for kicking a corpse mostly to death, hmm...]

Anytime. [He fidgets his other hand between them to brush Jae-Ha's bangs back gently. Yep, look at this face... he'd kick a man all the way to death for Jae-Ha if he had to. That's a thought.] I've always been handy in a fight.

[yes this is a good way to put that]

[The joking helps Jae-Ha just as much, honestly. He's saying all of this stuff to not focus on how Hazel looked back then, or how he's thinking of the horrible rot of Garou's body, and the look in his eyes. Hazel reaches out to his bangs like that and it pulls Jae-Ha out of his distraction temporarily. He says that about fighting and Jae-Ha finds his heart sinking without even thinking about it. His eyes reflect that for a moment, and he reaches up with both hands to cup his hands near Hazel's cheeks.

All he wants to do is hold Hazel here. He doesn't know what to say, so he stays silent for a long time before smoothing his thumb over one of his cheeks.]

I saw Zeno's scales today, too.

[There's more to say, Hazel knows, but he doesn't know how to articulate it. He's terrible at addressing these things, they know that, but he's at least better at acknowledging things when they're Jae-Ha's things? There's that.

So he still hasn't formed any worthwhile words by the time Jae-Ha speaks again, and his brow furrows - what the hell did that guy do now?? Hazel doesn't like that one, he's got no manners...]

Alright... Help me out, sweetheart, I dunno what the big deal is about that.

Ah, sorry. I can't think on it too much or I get sick, but I also can't get it out of my mind. It's a real problem...

[Everyone ended up okay today, but it sure was filled with too many... ghosts...] He was speaking with three men who seemed to be his friends. Dragons, I think. [Ah, he shouldn't be thinking this way, he realizes with a strange, pulling feeling at his heart, and he pulls one of his hands back to press over his chest and pause to make sure it settles.]

His body is indestructible, so harm to it creates the scales. He took one of my knives to tear up his arm so he could kill them all quickly. He asked me to let him.

[what the fuck]

Why do ya still talk to this abominable piece of work, again? What kinda person takes a knife to themselves in front of their friends?

He's troubled. I feel like he's a brother to me, so I can't just turn away from him.

[That connection thing, remember...] His body regenerated slow, and he almost slipped up on telling me why, as well. I probably shouldn't think for too long on why he chose to do that rather than use my knife.

Sounds to me like he was cravin' attention. [Just saying... use the knife and stop being weird, dragon boy. Hazel is boycotting.]

If he wasn't gonna help without tearin' himself up, then he shouldn't've bothered.

He wouldn't let me do it for him, and they seemed strangely insistent on him doing it. I don't know what he's been through, so I can't say much... but I know that afterwards, he rushed to me near Garou and couldn't bring himself to harm him. I'm just glad he didn't harm himself again.

[This is all a mess. Anyway, their cuddling is too spaced out, so Jae-Ha pulls Hazel close to his chest again.]

[What the hell?? What the hell. Hazel squeezes closer to Jae-Ha, tucking his head under his chin and frowning at his shoulder. Who are these freaks and why does Jae-Ha have to know them...]

You're sayin' he just stood there? He just stood there and let that man carry on? [Hazel doesn't swear, but these questions sure do sound a lot like "fuck that."]

[He had meant to try and calm Hazel down when they climbed into bed like this, but instead he's saying things that he maybe shouldn't be. He had just wanted to get it out, to practice voicing his thoughts and worries, but now he's seeing why it's so hard to.

He places a hand on the back of Hazel's head, curling loosely into his hair as he holds him close. There's no answer to those questions, but that's probably answer enough, along with the feelings Jae-Ha is having over here.]

[Ugggghh... Hazel hums, frustrated, but there's nothing else to say unless he does take up swearing or changes his mind about complaining to Jae-Ha about his weird friends. He's trying to contain himself, really.

They need a minute or so of quiet cuddles here, then maybe Hazel can speak without being so angry.]

Well, we made it home alright. That counts for somethin'.

It means everything.

[He smiles a little, despite everything, and turns downward just enough to kiss the top of Hazel's head, staying like that once he's done. His hand plays with his hair.] It seems we've somehow picked up one more person to look after, on top of everything else. Your kind heart is showing through. [Inviting the child... it was cute, they can talk about that instead of the sad.]

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this is fine

SPITS I mean true tho

yeah

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