thenearshore | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Takumi and Dust
What: Takumi suffers his first sting, and some things are talked out
Where: Ninigi's Temple
When: July 9th, morning
Warnings: Talk of Blight, attempting to dance around the Secret

[When he woke up with the slight dull pain and redness on his arm, Takumi knew almost right away what it was, and couldn't help the low dread in his belly. Well, at least it wasn't severe in any way, but he HAD to talk to Dust about it. Which was fine, he had some things to update his shinki about regardless.

Catching him at breakfast seemed the best option. Takumi even cooked- though it was simple miso and rice. He hoped the smell would entice Dust down so they could talk in a relaxed manner, and not like he was confronting him]

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[When Dust appeared... it isn't from upstairs, or from anywhere in the temple. He wanders in from outside, instead. The shinki had been out all night, walking and thinking and trying to understand.]

[Now, just as he'd started to figure things out -- here's Takumi, having cooked, and Dust couldn't help but feel like the game's up before he even started to understand the rules.]

Uh. Hi.

Oh, you never came back? Everything okay?

[Dust isn't a child- he's not gonna demand he should be in the temple at night. But he IS a little worried]

I've... just been doing a lot of thinking. I guess without any memories up there, there's plenty of room for thoughts to rattle around, huh?

[The joke is pretty lame, and can't help but fall flat, despite Dust's feeble smile.]

[Flat it might be, it does make Takumi smile a little]

That's understandable. And... something I wanna talk to you about, actually.

[He gestures towards the table. Have some breakfast Dust, talking over food is more comfortable]

Edited 2017-05-02 20:44 (UTC)

Um... right. You kind of would know, after all, wouldn't you.

[Dust heaves a quiet sigh -- this is not helping his feelings of guilt, after all. He doesn't want any pain or any suffering to come to anyone, but it seems like he can't help it.]

[He nudges a seat out and slides into it.]

[He winces, that flash of guilt making his arm ache even more, and nods.]

Yeah. Though at first I just though I walked into something in the middle of the night and forgot.

[He holds out his arm, pushing his sleeve up so Dust can see the forming 'bruise' ]

So what's going on? Did something happen?

[Dust makes a low, frustrated noise in his throat, lowering his head. The marks feel like a personal attack, though not one Takumi himself is leveling.] What kind of stupid system is this? The moment you feel any guilt, you hurt your god, and any decent person would feel guilt over that. It's self-perpetuating!

It's pretty damn stupid, is what it is. Hell, if our roles were reversed I'd probably be blighting you all the time on accident!

[he knows his own self hating nature- and doubts forgetting his past would undo that]

But I guess we just have to deal with it. It's not very big at least.

[Apologizing will just make it worse, won't it? Dust drops a hand to the table abruptly.]

Takumi -- why aren't shinki supposed to remember their pasts? All anyone has ever told me is that it's bad, that bad things will happen. But that's not enough information, not to stop me from wanting to.

[Oh... oh shit. Takumi pulls a face like Dust just put a dead rat on the table (right on the rice even) and told him to touch it]

Oh... that's... not a great question, Dust.

[Thanks for the straight answer, Takumi. The hand Dust slapped down now balls into a fist.]

I know. It's not. But strangely enough, just saying 'it's bad' doesn't stop me from wanting to know. It's just enough to make me feel bad about wanting to know.

Okay, okay... but some ground rules first okay? I'll try to tell you what I can but if I start feeling like it's going to far I'm going to stop, got it?

And if you start feeling uncomfortable I want you to get up and leave. Don't ignore it, don't even think about it. Just stand up and go somewhere else. Understand?

[His teeth are bared, eyes narrowed- less like he's mad and more like he's very stressed]

That's fine. I know there are... rules here, or something like that, that keep you from saying anything. [Dust tries to relax, because he DOES appreciate Takumi at least trying. But this is all so high-stress, so frustrating.]

I can tell you that... telling you something could do more then cause something 'bad' to happen. It could legitimately hurt you. We're told from the start to never ever talk about anything... well... outside our duties

[He winces, already feeling uncomfortable. And worried Dust might be feeling the same thing, if what the Secret entailed was correct. He wanted to say 'anything from before' but he was afraid that would be too close to the Secret.]

So please, let it go. I couldn't forgive myself if you were hurt because I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

[Dust lets out a sharp breath. How, he wonders, would Takumi feel in his place? No memory, no connection to his past, not knowing who he is? Would he really let it go so easily?]

The problem is I'm willing to risk being hurt to find out. I'm not afraid of that. If I'm the only one who will suffer, then I'm the only one I'm risking.

It'd be a lot easier if I had a little more self-preservation instinct, I guess. [His smile has very little humor in it.] But I don't know why I am that way, after all.

You wouldn't be the only one hurt though. If nothing else I'd be out a shinki.

[He turns red and glares down at his soup- obviously he doesn't mean it so casually and flippantly. Dust is his friend]

[That earns a moment of silence from Dust, who hadn't quite expected this angle. Though thinking about it... that matters, doesn't it? It matters to him, and that might be the first real argument he's heard against trying to find out.]

...I don't know what I'd do in your place. Whether I'd try to protect my shinki, or try to help him. I think I'd try to help... but there's a pretty good chance that's just me being biased, because I'm not in your place.

I guess I owe you an apology, if nothing else. For not being that good of a shinki, in this respect.

[Takumi was about to tell him that it wasn't needed, that he thought Dust was a great shinki- but before he could he noticed the dark mark on his arm was... fading]

Wha...? Was that really all it took?

I -- have no idea? [Dust doesn't know the slightest bit how this works, sitting up straighter in some surprise.] I'm not going to say I don't feel a little bad still, but...

I wouldn't expect you NOT to, I'd feel pretty upset too. But I think just the fact we talked about it helped.

Sorry I didn't... say anything before. I forgot how things worked around here. [Which is frankly embarrassing, and Dust can't help but be sheepish about it.] Next time I'll try to say something sooner. I promise.

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