[Ren's lips twitch in a tiny smile and he nods as best he can with Shun still holding his head in place.]
I don't really want to talk about it at all... [But talking about it in private would be infinitely more preferable to talking about it here. And he can't see Shun letting him get away with not talking about it again, just like he wouldn't let Shun get away with not sleeping again.
Why he did it the first time is something he doesn't mind talking about quite as much, since there had been more to it than just being homesick, although thinking about it does make him let out a very breathy sigh.]
Hibari had gotten himself injured enough that he needed to stay in bed and he couldn't stand having to just stay put for a while. [Not unlike how Shun also doesn't seem to be able to rest for a few days when he needs it.] He kept trying to leave, even though he could barely walk, and he just kept feeling more angry and frustrated...
He was miserable, and I was miserable, and by that time, I was feeling desperate to figure out some way I could appeal to him, even a little bit. The only thing I could think of that might help was to take him somewhere he could fight and work off some of his excess energy without hurting himself even more. And he actually liked it a lot. I think if Eric hadn't shown up right after that, we could have come to some kind of understanding.
[He doesn't regret that Eric did show up, even at that very fragile time. He's been much happier with Eric as his shinki than he had been for most of those first couple of months with Hibari. But it was still a little frustrating to think about--mostly that Hibari had flipped out so much at having to share so soon after he thought they'd made some progress.]
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I don't really want to talk about it at all... [But talking about it in private would be infinitely more preferable to talking about it here. And he can't see Shun letting him get away with not talking about it again, just like he wouldn't let Shun get away with not sleeping again.
Why he did it the first time is something he doesn't mind talking about quite as much, since there had been more to it than just being homesick, although thinking about it does make him let out a very breathy sigh.]
Hibari had gotten himself injured enough that he needed to stay in bed and he couldn't stand having to just stay put for a while. [Not unlike how Shun also doesn't seem to be able to rest for a few days when he needs it.] He kept trying to leave, even though he could barely walk, and he just kept feeling more angry and frustrated...
He was miserable, and I was miserable, and by that time, I was feeling desperate to figure out some way I could appeal to him, even a little bit. The only thing I could think of that might help was to take him somewhere he could fight and work off some of his excess energy without hurting himself even more. And he actually liked it a lot. I think if Eric hadn't shown up right after that, we could have come to some kind of understanding.
[He doesn't regret that Eric did show up, even at that very fragile time. He's been much happier with Eric as his shinki than he had been for most of those first couple of months with Hibari. But it was still a little frustrating to think about--mostly that Hibari had flipped out so much at having to share so soon after he thought they'd made some progress.]