[He really doesn't want to look Shun in the face. In fact, it probably makes it clear just how afraid Ren really is and how much he wants to just brush this under a rug, that he wants to avoid looking Shun in the face this much. Or maybe, how frustrated he is with not only himself, but also his fear of himself. He doesn't like being afraid. This is one of the few things he even is afraid of, and it's the only one he can't just charge into and fix through sheer determination and recklessness, because he knows Aichi was right and that nasty person he used to be was and is and always will be a part of him...and he hates it. And he doesn't want to look Shun in the face.
But he doesn't really have a choice unless he just closes his eyes. Shun probably wouldn't force him to open them...but closing them kind of feels like losing somehow, and he's feeling very tired of that.
The expression on Shun's face feels lot like losing too, of the losing the will to fight variety. If he hadn't already figured out how much shun means to him, that would have done it. He doesn't feel like he deserves it at all right now, or that trust because he really doesn't trust himself, but that Shun is still willing to give it to him...
Ren reaches up to pry Shun's hand from his chin, and then jerks forward to wrap his arms around Shun's shoulders and bury his face in Shun's neck.
Maybe it would be better if he talked about this--about how he's been feeling and how long he's been feeling it and how he actually thinks about it quite a lot thanks, and maybe even how he even got his power back since he hasn't actually told Shun about that yet. At least then they'd both be on the same page, and maybe shun could see something he was missing. He doesn't want to talk about it right now in this very public area, but...maybe he could sometime later.]
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But he doesn't really have a choice unless he just closes his eyes. Shun probably wouldn't force him to open them...but closing them kind of feels like losing somehow, and he's feeling very tired of that.
The expression on Shun's face feels lot like losing too, of the losing the will to fight variety. If he hadn't already figured out how much shun means to him, that would have done it. He doesn't feel like he deserves it at all right now, or that trust because he really doesn't trust himself, but that Shun is still willing to give it to him...
Ren reaches up to pry Shun's hand from his chin, and then jerks forward to wrap his arms around Shun's shoulders and bury his face in Shun's neck.
Maybe it would be better if he talked about this--about how he's been feeling and how long he's been feeling it and how he actually thinks about it quite a lot thanks, and maybe even how he even got his power back since he hasn't actually told Shun about that yet. At least then they'd both be on the same page, and maybe shun could see something he was missing. He doesn't want to talk about it right now in this very public area, but...maybe he could sometime later.]
...I'd trust myself more if you were with me.