[Mai was not in love. If she knew nothing else for certain in that moment, she knew that much. And she was too old to allow herself to be fooled into pretending otherwise. Love was reserved for the people who knew you better than you knew yourselves. Who accepted you for all your faults. Who were by your side even when they didn't need to be, who occupied your thoughts when they didn't, and who you would do anything for with less regard for yourself.]
[And while, yes, there were certain aspects that could be related back to her budding relationship with Caster, she did not Love him.]
[But Love was not the only feeling one could carry for someone, nor did she have to be in love to feel her heart...not break, exactly, but there was definitely some light bruising.]
I...see.
[Or at least, she thought she did.]
[At first, little of what he said was new to her. She knew he and Archer had a complicated past. She knew there had been tension between them for a time. And she'd brushed it off because it had been similar enough to her situation with Trunks that she never really allowed herself to entertain the idea of just how deep that parallel ran. On either side.]
[Now she was being told that Archer had feelings for Caster as well. Strong enough that Lancer had noticed. Strong enough that even Caster seemed to be realizing--no, more than just that. He'd called it progress. Which, to Mai, gave every impression that he was doing nothing to reject or discourage his shinki. Maybe he was even pleased by the realization.]
[She wasn't jealous, exactly...]
[...okay, no, that wasn't true. She was jealous. But she didn't hate Archer. She didn't even hate Caster. Only because she didn't know how she was supposed to feel about all of this. Only that the air around them felt so tense and her chest ached and she felt like she needed some air. Or just to get away. From the party. From him. From this awful realization that everything she had assumed until that moment had been wrong after all.]
I... [She wouldn't look at him. If she did, she might cry, and she did not want to cry.] ...I have to go.
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[And while, yes, there were certain aspects that could be related back to her budding relationship with Caster, she did not Love him.]
[But Love was not the only feeling one could carry for someone, nor did she have to be in love to feel her heart...not break, exactly, but there was definitely some light bruising.]
I...see.
[Or at least, she thought she did.]
[At first, little of what he said was new to her. She knew he and Archer had a complicated past. She knew there had been tension between them for a time. And she'd brushed it off because it had been similar enough to her situation with Trunks that she never really allowed herself to entertain the idea of just how deep that parallel ran. On either side.]
[Now she was being told that Archer had feelings for Caster as well. Strong enough that Lancer had noticed. Strong enough that even Caster seemed to be realizing--no, more than just that. He'd called it progress. Which, to Mai, gave every impression that he was doing nothing to reject or discourage his shinki. Maybe he was even pleased by the realization.]
[She wasn't jealous, exactly...]
[...okay, no, that wasn't true. She was jealous. But she didn't hate Archer. She didn't even hate Caster. Only because she didn't know how she was supposed to feel about all of this. Only that the air around them felt so tense and her chest ached and she felt like she needed some air. Or just to get away. From the party. From him. From this awful realization that everything she had assumed until that moment had been wrong after all.]
I... [She wouldn't look at him. If she did, she might cry, and she did not want to cry.] ...I have to go.