The Far Shore Mods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
godsoffortune) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thenearshore2018-01-23 03:47 pm
godsoffortune) wrote in thenearshore2018-01-23 03:47 pm
Entry tags:
- aymeric de borel | final fantasy xiv,
- chikusa kakimoto | katekyo hitman reborn,
- garry | ib,
- obi | akagami no shirayukihime,
- overflow,
- wendy | kuroshitsuji,
- ω archer [emiya] | fate stay night,
- ω caster [ch chulainn] | fgo,
- ω emizel | disgaea 4,
- ω mikleo | tales of zestiria,
- ω nari reno | original character,
- ω ross | senyuu.,
- ω soleil | fire emblem: fates,
- ω zelda | loz: ocarina of time
-Overflow- for 24 - Autumn Reception
Who: Everyone!
What: Autumn Reception
When: September 30, 6 PM
Where: The Gods' Meeting Hall
Summary: The Heavens are throwing a formal party! Old and new gods alike are invited, so put on your nicest outfits and some good dancing shoes, and come see what this shindig is all about.
Continuing from HERE!
What: Autumn Reception
When: September 30, 6 PM
Where: The Gods' Meeting Hall
Summary: The Heavens are throwing a formal party! Old and new gods alike are invited, so put on your nicest outfits and some good dancing shoes, and come see what this shindig is all about.
Continuing from HERE!
Mai
[ Memories like this are always going to make him wistful. He did not expect to share them on a party, either. But while he doesn't go out of his way to spill details about his past, he's not going to be evasive about it to those he considers close here. At least that has changed. Maybe he's getting used to the idea of staying here. ]
Truly, a lot. It's a long story. [ He says with an unusual softness for a moment he turns his gaze to the sky behind the window. For once he's crossing his arms. ] Fate might not have gifted us with a long time together but- I had a good life and good woman to share it with for its short run.
[ Emery coming up in a conversation for the second time in like a week or so? Wow. Kind of weird, to be honest. Especially if he gets dumb and mushy about her. But this is a closed book, and those pages won't - can't - be revisited, hence instead of breaking into storytelling and diving into memories, he'd rather focus attention on the living- So he's looking at Mai again. Yuup, he's definitely getting the vibe something is wrong, and it also feels as if whatever he says makes it worse.
Sure, he might be outdated, but he's not that stupid ]
Is this a problem?
[ If yes, maybe better it came out sooner than later. On the other hand, maybe it would go better if he instead suggested making occasion for a story-sharing and told that somewhere else, some other time. But that would require planning, and thinking ahead. Something he's not really good with. ]
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[It certainly didn’t make her feel much better, hearing him speak of another. With such actual fondness in his eyes. A part of her was glad he was finally being open about that part of his life. And she knew it would have been hypocritical of her to fault him for being with someone before her.]
[That didn’t mean she had to like it, though.]
Do you feel like you’re betraying her at all? Considering...being with someone else?
[She wasn’t trying to catch him in a trap. Or maybe she was. But not intentionally.]
no subject
Why would it be? [ That's a very interesting question because there are many things he does consider betrayal, this is however not one of them. One thing is that they've both been dead for 2000 years, another is that he was like that even when she was still alive. Unless she had a problem with someone- then it would be a full stop. ]
Do I miss her? Sure I do- But that part of the book is closed and nothing can be done about it. Besides it's not like I'm trying to replace her. [ That's absolutely impossible. ] And I know that when she got someone else after me, it wasn't out of the need to replace me. Simply a new bond was formed-
[ Spoiler alert: she never did. But that part he couldn't know. ]
Ah, this really doesn't sound like a conversation for a party, eh? Sorry, for being a downer. [ He rubs the back of his neck, casting her an apologetic glance.
People can only move forward, some agonize over past, others fear the future- he's firmly lodged in the here and now. And it absolutely is a kind of self-inflicted blindness as the other two extremes are ]
no subject
[Why would it be?]
[Simply a new bond was formed.]
[Once again, it was his voice of phrasing that she focused on. How casual he made it all seen. As if...as if the idea of moving from relationship to relationship was just that easy. True, they were far from that level of commitment yet, but...would they ever be? Or was she just one more "bond" to form in the intern before he came across another?]
I...
[She folded her arms across her torso, beneath her chest. Hugging her frame lightly. Her mind was racing with thoughts, and she looked more conflicted than upset. But still upset.]
...how many? [She'd mostly been askig him questions until now, but this was the big one. The one that would ultimately decide what she did next.] How many "bonds" have you formed since you've been here?
[Or whatever he wanted to call it. She was nearly convinced Archer was on that list, at least.]
no subject
That doesn't mean he doesn't care, he does- has no illusions about any relationship here being anything more than temporary. She got her own to return to, like everyone else. The whole failure here is not communicating that part clearly.
But now, bonds ]
Hah. This place literally throws us into them, doesn't it-? Shinki, pantheons, alliances... [ He pauses because he realizes, that's not what she's asking about. And for a moment he almost can't believe- is it a jealousy? Of this stupid bowman?
Don't fall in love with him, not because it's too early, but because it's a bad idea ] ...that's not a question you want to ask, isn't it? It's about Archer.
[ With a sigh he pinches a bridge of his nose. Archers always ruin everything- no this, time as much as he can say it, he can't. Maybe a week and a half earlier it would be possible to laugh it off "it's not like that", but not now. Not when this idiot finally started being honest and Caster- well, Caster enabled him. He did not shoot him down, partially out of curiosity, partially- because of what? That's a good question, hah. Not thinking about future, coming here to kick in the butt again. ]
So, that's how the story goes. I knew him before. Not in my life, later- [ He told her that already, but he can as well recount this fact. He doesn't consider himself a liar, even if all Servants lie- even if just by omission, not answering questions and such- so yes, he's used to not telling the whole picture, but confronted head-on he will answer the questions.
She deserves the absolute honesty, so he's not going to sugarcoat or hide facts. ] We always landed on opposing sides- but there was no other kind of sides there. Just yours, everyone else is an enemy even if an alliance is forged.
[ And for the record, he doesn't remember if there was any kind of alliance between them forged. His "memories" of the previous summoning are a haze, more like, vague recollection, but without definite knowledge. All he knows they keeping running into each other, and now the same dumb destiny put them together here and made them work together. Kids, don't challenge an immovable object with unstoppable force, only a paradox is created. ]
That probably doesn't matter much, he doesn't remember, and I'm not going to hold a grudge just because someone follows orders from someone else. [ Friends one day, enemies another or the other day around, all because of orders and oaths, that's how the life goes. ] So we were off for a rocky start in that cooperation, no wonder if got complicated.
[ He needs something to drink. Why is he talking so long? Or maybe better, another cigarette. He's a god now. Lung cancer is the least of his worries. ]
No idea what Lancer told you, but what I do think is he got wind of that idiot' feelings earlier than me. [ Yeah, there is a weird crush going on, it's coming from Archer though, not him. Get your facts right, Diarmuid ] Maybe a lot earlier than him too- But I think Archer finally made a peace with that and admitted it to himself. So, a progress, I suppose.
no subject
[And while, yes, there were certain aspects that could be related back to her budding relationship with Caster, she did not Love him.]
[But Love was not the only feeling one could carry for someone, nor did she have to be in love to feel her heart...not break, exactly, but there was definitely some light bruising.]
I...see.
[Or at least, she thought she did.]
[At first, little of what he said was new to her. She knew he and Archer had a complicated past. She knew there had been tension between them for a time. And she'd brushed it off because it had been similar enough to her situation with Trunks that she never really allowed herself to entertain the idea of just how deep that parallel ran. On either side.]
[Now she was being told that Archer had feelings for Caster as well. Strong enough that Lancer had noticed. Strong enough that even Caster seemed to be realizing--no, more than just that. He'd called it progress. Which, to Mai, gave every impression that he was doing nothing to reject or discourage his shinki. Maybe he was even pleased by the realization.]
[She wasn't jealous, exactly...]
[...okay, no, that wasn't true. She was jealous. But she didn't hate Archer. She didn't even hate Caster. Only because she didn't know how she was supposed to feel about all of this. Only that the air around them felt so tense and her chest ached and she felt like she needed some air. Or just to get away. From the party. From him. From this awful realization that everything she had assumed until that moment had been wrong after all.]
I... [She wouldn't look at him. If she did, she might cry, and she did not want to cry.] ...I have to go.
no subject
She didn't deserve it, nor did she deserve it to end like this- Damn it. ]
Yeah, the party is ending anyway- [ His face is almost blank, emotionless. No stumbling over apologizes, no "wait let me explain!!", he deals with loss with the same resigned apathy as he always did. Because this is a loss, even if of something that could have been.
The question why is it even ending, is another one. And if anything he can probably offer is closure, but that's something for when they're sober and calm, and- what the hell is going on to be entirely honest? He'll figure it later. He never was hiding how he treats other people, but perhaps he didn't make it clear enough either. Temporary bonds of temporary existence, living and enjoying the moment for as long as it lasts- because they never last for long- not keeping people when they go, but often not driving those who approach either.
Seems he's really as outdated fossil as some calls him.
If he could dematerialize like back when he was just a spirit maintained by someone else's magical energy, he would. Boom, explode into glitter, communication problem solved. But he can't, because ah, godly shenanigans and all that. ]
See you later.
no subject
[The party is ending anyway.]
[How could he say something so final in so distant a manner? Sure, the music was still playing; in the back of her mind, she still registered that much. The party wasn't over. Except it was. If not for them, then at least for her. She was done. Unable to resist the urge to turn and run all the way back to her temple. To drown herself in hot water and the thickest comforter the seasonal weather permitted. To scrub her face and change out of the dress she'd been so excited to wear at the start of the evening.]
[Her feet wouldn't move. Not yet. And while she had been trying to avoid his eyes until that moment, she couldn't resist lifting her head one last time. Fighting back tears with each blink. Able to keep any cheek trails at bay, but not the shimmering glint of moisture that reflected light above.]
...yeah. Sure.
[As casual a tone as he'd given her, she gave it right back. In spades. So casual, she sounded empty. Conveying nothing and everything all at once.]
[With that, she turned to walk off. Only then reaching up to dab at the corner of her eye. Carefully, so she wouldn't smudge her mascara too badly.]