[ Gojyo blinks in surprise at Goku for a moment -- damn, kid, that's one serious face! -- before turning away and shaking his head, laughing. ]
Don't look at me like that! I didn't mean it that way. It's just...
[ How to say it? ]
Bein' a shinki, it's like... like what you said. We wake up and we don't know anything except our names, but that's not really true. We know a lot of stuff... we're not babies. We can walk and talk and fight and read, but we don't remember learning how to do any of that stuff. We just know it.
[ His breath puffs out with every word, little ghosts that fade away as he moves through them. ]
But sometimes the stuff we 'just know' isn't right. [ He reaches up, rubs his own hair through his hat. ] I thought I knew what this meant, but everyone kept tellin' me I was wrong. [ He kicks at a tiny pebble on the walkway, sending it skittering off sideways past the railings into the tall grass beyond. ] They said I was wrong to hate Doku for killin' my mom. They said I was wrong about everything.
So then... [ Shit. He's dumping so much on the kid, but there's got to be a limit to how much he'll share. He glances at Goku, then back at the path ahead, picking his words carefully. ] Then there's this person, and right away they're familiar. You're drawn to 'em, you know? But it's dangerous for you to be around them. And then you find out that they did all these terrible things, and you think, shit, maybe this person is really somebody I should stay away from. But you don't want to.
So that's why I'm askin'. Because I'm a shinki. I don't have any memories from before six months ago. I don't know who I am, and I sure as hell don't know who Hakkai is... but you do. So if you say he's a good person and you trust him, then...
[ His voice finally trails off, and he stuffs his hands further into his pockets, looking away abashedly. He really hadn't meant to say all of that. ]
no subject
Don't look at me like that! I didn't mean it that way. It's just...
[ How to say it? ]
Bein' a shinki, it's like... like what you said. We wake up and we don't know anything except our names, but that's not really true. We know a lot of stuff... we're not babies. We can walk and talk and fight and read, but we don't remember learning how to do any of that stuff. We just know it.
[ His breath puffs out with every word, little ghosts that fade away as he moves through them. ]
But sometimes the stuff we 'just know' isn't right. [ He reaches up, rubs his own hair through his hat. ] I thought I knew what this meant, but everyone kept tellin' me I was wrong. [ He kicks at a tiny pebble on the walkway, sending it skittering off sideways past the railings into the tall grass beyond. ] They said I was wrong to hate Doku for killin' my mom. They said I was wrong about everything.
So then... [ Shit. He's dumping so much on the kid, but there's got to be a limit to how much he'll share. He glances at Goku, then back at the path ahead, picking his words carefully. ] Then there's this person, and right away they're familiar. You're drawn to 'em, you know? But it's dangerous for you to be around them. And then you find out that they did all these terrible things, and you think, shit, maybe this person is really somebody I should stay away from. But you don't want to.
So that's why I'm askin'. Because I'm a shinki. I don't have any memories from before six months ago. I don't know who I am, and I sure as hell don't know who Hakkai is... but you do. So if you say he's a good person and you trust him, then...
[ His voice finally trails off, and he stuffs his hands further into his pockets, looking away abashedly. He really hadn't meant to say all of that. ]