[ There's always a reason. Last time it took three years of domestic bliss plus who knows how many months on the road before Gojyo stopped hating himself just for existing. Here, with impulses he doesn't understand and conflicting stories about who he's supposed to be? He doesn't stand a chance. ]
Who I think you are? [ Gojyo's voice hardens, and he can't look at Hakkai except sideways. ] I think you're a spoiled brat, mostly.
[ He doesn't know if this is 'Gojyo'-like behavior or not, and right at this moment he doesn't much care. He's exhausted, it's been an emotionally turbulent afternoon, and what can he say? He's feeling honest. ]
I think you... are the kindest, most patient man who was ever born, so long as nobody disagrees with you. [ Just ask Ayumu about that. Or Sharak, for that matter. ] I think that you really love h-- me, but I think that sometimes, you wish I wasn't here. That I was wherever Sharak and Genjo and Tsuzuki are. [ Hakkai undoubtedly feels the jolt of grief at the mention of Tsuzuki -- that's a loss he won't be getting over any time soon. But he crushes it down quickly -- he's getting better at that part, at least.
Just like he's getting better at putting his thoughts into words. ]
And I don't think you know what you want. From me, from this place, from yourself, from any of it. I think you're every bit as lost and confused as I am, but you've got this idea that you're the boss, you're the one who has to make the hard decisions, so you won't ever ask for help. ...Because you think you're better than me.
[ But for all that vitriol, he's not angry. Not attacking. If anything, he sounds sad -- this is just the way things are, says his tone, says his posture, says the set to his jaw. This is just how his life is, and he's trying to be okay with it. ]
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Who I think you are? [ Gojyo's voice hardens, and he can't look at Hakkai except sideways. ] I think you're a spoiled brat, mostly.
[ He doesn't know if this is 'Gojyo'-like behavior or not, and right at this moment he doesn't much care. He's exhausted, it's been an emotionally turbulent afternoon, and what can he say? He's feeling honest. ]
I think you... are the kindest, most patient man who was ever born, so long as nobody disagrees with you. [ Just ask Ayumu about that. Or Sharak, for that matter. ] I think that you really love h-- me, but I think that sometimes, you wish I wasn't here. That I was wherever Sharak and Genjo and Tsuzuki are. [ Hakkai undoubtedly feels the jolt of grief at the mention of Tsuzuki -- that's a loss he won't be getting over any time soon. But he crushes it down quickly -- he's getting better at that part, at least.
Just like he's getting better at putting his thoughts into words. ]
And I don't think you know what you want. From me, from this place, from yourself, from any of it. I think you're every bit as lost and confused as I am, but you've got this idea that you're the boss, you're the one who has to make the hard decisions, so you won't ever ask for help. ...Because you think you're better than me.
[ But for all that vitriol, he's not angry. Not attacking. If anything, he sounds sad -- this is just the way things are, says his tone, says his posture, says the set to his jaw. This is just how his life is, and he's trying to be okay with it. ]
How close am I?