[ It’s not just his face, he wants to scream back. It’s not just his body – what he feels for Hakkai, he feels in his heart, not his pants! What he feels...
It’s a need, sure. He needs to be around Hakkai like he needs to breathe air. Looking at him raises his mood – even when they’re fighting, there’s no place he feels safer. He doesn’t feel whole, without Hakkai – when they’re apart it’s like he’s missing his arm again. Like his lungs don’t work. Food tastes better when Hakkai’s sitting across the table from him. The sun is warmer. Living makes sense.
But apparently Hakkai doesn’t think he’s capable of anything other than lust. Hakkai thinks he’s just here because he’s got a thing for youkai. After all this time,
Hakkai doesn’t think he can love.
He straightens up, slowly, head held high, breathing deep and slow to try and choke down the knot in his throat. A traitorous tear finally breaks free, streaking the ash on his cheek, but he doesn’t dare raise his hand to wipe it away. Doesn’t dare give Hakkai the satisfaction. It’s from the dust, that’s all. The dust and the burning winds. ]
Is this th’point where I’m supposed to ask you what you mean?
no subject
It’s a need, sure. He needs to be around Hakkai like he needs to breathe air. Looking at him raises his mood – even when they’re fighting, there’s no place he feels safer. He doesn’t feel whole, without Hakkai – when they’re apart it’s like he’s missing his arm again. Like his lungs don’t work. Food tastes better when Hakkai’s sitting across the table from him. The sun is warmer. Living makes sense.
But apparently Hakkai doesn’t think he’s capable of anything other than lust. Hakkai thinks he’s just here because he’s got a thing for youkai. After all this time,
Hakkai doesn’t think he can love.
He straightens up, slowly, head held high, breathing deep and slow to try and choke down the knot in his throat. A traitorous tear finally breaks free, streaking the ash on his cheek, but he doesn’t dare raise his hand to wipe it away. Doesn’t dare give Hakkai the satisfaction. It’s from the dust, that’s all. The dust and the burning winds. ]
Is this th’point where I’m supposed to ask you what you mean?