thenearshore | 34 - Love is in the Air

34 - Love is in the Air

Who: Everyone!
What: An enterprising pair of shinki is trying to spread love throughout the Far Shore with exciting blind dates.
When: February 14
Where: Hot romantic spots throughout Tokyo
Summary: Blind dates on Valentine's Day? Sounds like fun (or possibly a disaster, but everyone needs some good disaster stories.) That's not all that's going on, though. Ayakashi are looking to chow down on the negative emotions that a romantic holiday can generate, and those who aren't busy with their own dates might be sucked into helping out followers who need help to make the day go well.

The Dates

Blind Date Matchups

Date One: The Romantic Brunch.
Couples will find themselves with reservations (and pre-paid coupons for the prix fixe menu) at a swanky French restaurant with a wide balcony overlooking the lake in a central Tokyo park. They can dine on dainty pastries, sweet milk coffees, bowls of grapes and hothouse strawberries, and a selection of fancy chocolates and petit-fours-- plus, some of the trees in the park are blooming in holiday-appropriate red and white!

Date Two: The Aquarium.
Couples scheduled for this date have tickets to a rooftop aquarium in Ikebukuro: brightly colored fish, animals including penguins, seals and pelicans, a small petting zoo and plenty of shadowy, secluded nooks to cuddle in make for a fun lunchtime date. The tickets even include admission to the one o'clock penguin and seal show!

Date Three: The Amusement Park.
This date sends couples to spend the evening enjoying themselves at a seaside amusement park. Ride the roller coasters! Take selfies with the costumed attendants! Share an overpriced ice cream cone while you watch the fireworks after sunset, then wind up the night with a ride on the colorfully lit Ferris wheel with a romantic view of the Tokyo skyline.

Ayakashi Menace

dove

shadow

teddy bear

need

Praying for Love

Wild Card

In Summary:

Enjoy your dates
Fight some ayakashi
Make sure to answer prayers for a good Valentine's Day
Have fun~

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Hakkai clears his throat as he glances down at his hands. The tips of his ears are red.]

I, ah.

[He'd thought he was saying that, but he wasn't, to be fair; not in so many words. Certainly not if Gojyo is relaxing like that at the clarification. He may have to stop watching so many terrible rubber-suited monster horror movies when he can't sleep and pick up a habit of watching romance instead. It seems he has a lot to learn.]

... I don't think you just want sex.

[At least, not now that they've had it out over that particular misunderstanding. He is capable of learning. A little stiffly, he adds:] It's not that I don't want it myself, but I don't want to mislead you about what I'm ready for yet.

[His ears are still scarlet: not out of embarrassment at the subject. No, it's embarrassment that he sounds like a delicate maiden, carefully protecting his virtue, as though any claims he had to virtue weren't long shattered by sins much worse than sex. He's always hated admitting his vulnerabilities.

He is capable of learning, though. And one of the things he's learning from Gojyo, now, is that when he doesn't admit them Gojyo won't see them: he'll see coldness and cruelty. He'll be hurt.]

[ I’m not ready for it, Hakkai says, just when Gojyo thought he couldn’t feel any more terrible. All the color drains out of his face – he can’t believe he was so wrong. He’d thought that Hakkai was mad about him wanting sex because Hakkai thought he wanted just sex, that there weren't feelings of love and all that shit in there too. But it turns out this isn’t about Hakkai misreading him. This is him misreading Hakkai.

All this time, Hakkai’s been telling him no, and he simply hasn’t been listening, too stuck on the idea that it was Hakkai who was wrong, Hakkai who was misunderstanding his needs. Hakkai who was being the asshole.

Hakkai’s been saying no to him from day one, hasn’t he? Looking back on it, even the one time they did it, Hakkai had been saying no. He didn’t want to do it. No, he’d said, it’s a bad idea. We shouldn’t, and Gojyo had driven right over that. Hakkai’d just said yes because Gojyo wouldn’t take no for an answer, because Gojyo forced him to...

God. He feels sick. ]

It won’t happen again.

[ He shakes his head; the beers in his gut churn angrily, and he swallows hard to try and calm that mess. Hakkai puts up with so much from him, and Gojyo keeps repaying him with attacks and threats and... and now this. ]

I didn’t understand. I’m sorry. I won’t ever bring it up again.

[Gojyo goes so pale so fast it leaves his face looking almost greenish in the restaurant's homey yellow light. Hakkai looks up at him and thinks, wearily, that he must have been misunderstood again.

I won't ever bring it up again... he's gone and sounded delicate after all, hasn't he?]

It's really all right if you bring it up. I just don't want you to think that, if I say no for a little while, it's because of you.

[He really isn't ready: not when he doesn't feel secure yet, not when he knows -- he knows, he's done it -- that making himself so vulnerable when he doesn't feel secure leaves him ready to explode at the first misstep. He's never been very good at vulnerability, either. He's been feeling too fragile for it for quite a while, now, and he's opened himself up to out out of that same fragility. With Ayumu, with Gojyo; it had been a stupid mistake both times, born out of loneliness, grief, and a desperate desire to hold someone close.

He doesn't want it to be a mistake when they do it again.]

[ It’s just a glance, but Hakkai looks… annoyed? Is that what Gojyo’s seeing? That set expression, somewhere between tired and angry… it was just for a second, but Gojyo thinks he’s getting better at reading Hakkai’s tiny little tells. And he’s pretty sure that look was annoyance.

And he’s pretty sure it’s making him annoyed.

Why would Hakkai be annoyed? Because he apologized? Because he said he wouldn’t talk about it again, but then Hakkai’s okay with talking about it? (But he’s not, he’s never okay with talking, Gojyo thinks, irritably. It’s always pulling teeth to get the man to share what he’s feeling, and he’s so tired of having to fight his way to any answers.) ]

So what do you want? [ To have a nice dinner, maybe a goodnight kiss, yes, he was listening, but there has to be more than that. Even if that’s enough for Hakkai, he needs more than that. ] You don’t want to break up so there’s something here, you want to be-- [ god he hates the word, it sounds like a kid’s word ] --boyfriends, but you don’t want to screw, you don’t ever kiss me... you don’t ever touch me, I think I can count on one hand the number of times you’ve touched me in the last three months when you weren’t bandagin’ me up, you don’t talk to me like we’re datin’, I don’t think you’ve ever called me honey or, or babe. [ This is just getting ridiculous, but he can’t stop. ] And I’m not doin’ any of that because I’m followin’ your lead here! I don’t know when you’re bein’ shy and want me to come pull you out of your shell, and when you’re really not feelin’ it, I don’t…...

[ He raises his hand, halfway ready with another round of problems, but then let it fall wearily onto the tabletop. He’s not sure where most of that came from, but it felt true. Feels true, still. Hakkai doesn’t touch him, not a hand on his shoulder or a hug or anything, and it’s... he hates it. ]

I hate it.

[ Honesty, right? ]

[Honey. Babe? Hakkai shapes the words in his mind, decides against either of them, and reaches out to put his hand deliberately over Gojyo's on the table.

It's the lightest touch imaginable; it's still uncomfortable, sending anxious sparks skittering up his nerves. At least, since he's reaching out himself, he expects it, and doesn't flinch.]

I can count on one hand the number of times I've touched anyone else in years without meaning to heal them or kill them.

[But nothing Gojyo's saying is unfair at all, is it? And that Hakkai is like that with everyone, that it's not personal, that what he's willing to offer Gojyo is more of him than he's willing to give anyone else... that doesn't make what he gives come any closer to what it is that Gojyo wants.]

What do you want from me? [He asks it honestly, a question and not an accusation. If he knows, then he'll know what it is he can give, how to negotiate their needs: if their needs can be negotiated in a way that won't leave them constantly hurting one another when they try to do this.

Then, with a tiny quirk of his mouth, he adds:] I'm afraid I don't think I can call you 'babe.'

[ Hakkai puts his hand over Gojyo’s, and it’s the lightest, gentlest touch. Gojyo can honestly feel the heat radiating off Hakkai’s hand more than he can feel the actual contact of skin against skin. Gojyo’s hand doesn’t move, just letting Hakkai’s rest over it, his brain spinning.

Hakkai hates touching people. Gojyo, apparently, really loves it. This could be a problem. ]

What? [ Oh, right, his babe comment. Gojyo shakes his head, dismissing that whole rant. ] No, fuck, don’t you dare call me babe. That’s not...

[ He sighs – it’s hard, okay? Putting feelings into words is hard. ]

I don’t know what I want. [ That’s not in any way true, though, it is? ] I know what I’ve liked, so far. I like doin’ things with you, fightin’ ayakashi together, that’s good. [ Slowly, cautiously, he strokes the edge of Hakkai’s thumb with his own. ] I like bein’ with you. Holdin’ you, kissin’ you, that kind of thing. [ Even if Hakkai doesn’t want that, that doesn’t mean that Gojyo can’t want it, right? Hakkai wants a polite, stable guy to run around with and that’s sure as hell never going to be Gojyo, so they’ll both be forever disappointed. That’s fine. ]

And I want...

[ I want you to treat me like I’m special, he thinks, but there’s no way he can say something so embarrassing. ]

I want somethin’ to eat, [ he lands on at last, pulling out of Hakkai’s grip to clap his hands together. ] Where’s the waitress? I need to sop up some of this beer.

[ Coward, he’s a coward, but if there’s one thing he’s learned about this relationship it’s that he can’t ask for too much. Fighting ayakashi together, sometimes sharing a meal... he can be good with that. That can be enough. ]

[The waitress looks towards the sound of Gojyo's clap, visibly surprised that they're still there, and bustles their way with a couple of menus. Hakkai takes his own hand back, sitting up, and takes the opportunity for a few minutes' distraction.

Yes, thank you, another beer; the two-person grilling platter, he adds, with a glance at Gojyo to make sure that's all right. Water for both of them, too. It can't hurt. She's heading away again to the kitchen before too long, and he glances back at Gojyo.

It's more difficult than he'd expected to be direct about these things. It makes him feel fifteen again, awkward and secretly terrified.]

I like spending time with you, too. Talking about anything, or just being together.

[And not fighting, at least not with each other. They've been better about that lately. But -- being together, making time for each other, that Hakkai certainly can do. This might have been a bit much, to start with; it might have set Gojyo's expectations unfairly high.

(Those clothes are suited for something much less casual than Hakkai had imagined, certainly.)

But he thinks he can learn how to do this, if he tries.]

[ Talking. He likes talking. Gojyo feels a knot of despair rising up, threatening to choke him, and with a huff of disgust he mentally shoves it away. If Hakkai wants to talk, if Hakkai wants to sit quietly together, if he needs to be friends, then that’s what Gojyo will be for him. And if the only kind of love Hakkai’s able to give is the occasional smile, then he’ll learn to love those smiles. He doesn't need more -- he doesn't deserve more.

Besides. There’s far more important things for them to be worrying about, isn’t there? Now that he knows that this date isn’t really a date, now that he’s completely embarrassed himself and upset Hakkai, again, then it’s definitely time to take advantage of their privacy and change the topic. ]

Speakin’ of... [ He glances quickly around the room, confirming one more time that they’re the only heavenly bodies in the place. ] Wanna spend some time with me and go see if we can find Votelli? [ Sure, he could just sneak away and head back up the mountain to try and find her again, but it upset Hakkai when he did that, last time. He wanted to be involved, so here’s Gojyo with an olive branch, offering him a chance to be involved. ] I’m getting’ worried about her.

[There's something wrong-- Hakkai feels a sharp pang for a moment in his chest, and looks up at Gojyo with concern-- but it's fading, and Gojyo's firmly changing the topic.

He almost insists on going back to rehash it, but what he'd said before is still true. He doesn't want to fight. If they're moving on, talking about Votelli instead, then he's willing to let it go as long as Gojyo is. They can talk later.

He nods.]

Yes, let's. In fact, about her and her Sensei...

[He leans forward, crossing his arms on the table.]

I have some footage from security cameras around the area that I collected after all that mess happened with her forest. Did she ever tell you anything about her Sensei taking her into town? Because I think we have some pictures of him. They're not good, but they're something to go on.

You've got pictures? [ All annoyances and heartbreak forgotten, Gojyo leans forward too, his suit creaking as he moves. ] From security cameras. That was smart!

[ He never would have thought of that! His brilliant idea to find Sensei was to keep going up the mountain to talk to Votelli... not that he was able to find her most of those times. ...In fact, he thinks wryly, if Hakkai was looking at more than just a few days worth of security camera footage, he probably saw Gojyo on one of his trips to see her. Maybe more than one.

But this is good. This is really good. ]

I didn't think he'd do that. He wants her isolated, she said, doesn't want to risk any of us seeing her. [ Why would he take her into town? What's in town that he needed her for? It has to be something magical, right? Gojyo can't imagine that he was taking her out to eat, or, or shopping. ] Do you know where they were going?

The one I found where Votelli was with him was from a diner camera.

[Taking her out to eat -- perhaps. Or just explaining things to her in a more comfortable environment than the gloomy forest where she seems to live. Hakkai frowns, thinking.]

I don't know why he would have taken her there. It looked as though he took her to eat and spoke to her for a while. No sound, of course.

I don't get it.

[ Gojyo rubs a hand over the back of his head, trying to make sense of Hakkai's words. ]

Why would he take her out in public where somebody might see them? [ Granted, only very few people from heaven have seen Votelli (more now, after her picture was posted everywhere, but Sensei doesn't konw that), but it was still a huge risk. ] If I was keepin' somebody prisoner, I sure as hell wouldn't take them out for ramen.

[ Mmmm. Ramen. ...Where the hell is their food? ]

I'm not convinced he's keeping her a prisoner. Although he's manipulating her, certainly...

And most mortals can't see us at all. It might be that he assumed the Heavens wouldn't be talking to any of the living.

[Much less pulling surveillance footage. Hakkai doesn't have a high opinion of the Heavens' willingness to investigate things; if they can't understand things from a medieval perspective, they seem to ignore them. If they can't punish a god -- or, at least, a shinki -- they don't seem to recognize that there's a problem at all.

The waitress reappears with a platter: little cups of side dishes, in a remarkable variety, their water, the refill for Hakkai's beer. He picks up the chopsticks and starts tasting side dishes.]

[ She's not actually a prisoner, no, that's true. Sensei's just been telling her that everyone wants to kill her so she wouldn't wander off.

Although, he might not have been wrong. ]

When was this? [ The food is... all in little bowls? Huh. Okay. It sure smells good! Gojyo goes methodically down the line, trying a bite of each bowl he can reach. ] When he took her out to eat. Was there a date on the video?

[ If there was just the one sighting, and it was before he set up her shrine, then... then something. Then that probably means something. But if she was still with him after she started collecting new followers, then that's a whole other story.

He pops a bite of delicate pork in his mouth, and it melts on his tongue. Wow. ]

You have to try this one!

[Gestures of affection can manipulate as well as fear. Better, sometimes. Hakkai leans forward, trying a bit of the pork Gojyo'd grabbed, and makes an approving face.]

That is good. Very slow simmering, I think. With soy sauce and... star anise?

[Ah, right, Votelli. He abandons (or, at least, shelves) his reflexive attempt to work out how to recreate the dish to return to the previous topic.]

It wasn't long after the kidnappings.

[ Does he just want the one bite? Becuase Gojyo's going to take the rest, otherwise. It's really good! ]

Okay, that makes sense. That was before I got her shrine set up.

[ He pauses, a bite of pork halfway to his mouth. He didn't tell Hakkai about that, did he? ]

Oh, right. I set her up a shrine to get her more followers.

[ Yum. Star anise. ]

You built her a shrine? [Hakkai sounds genuinely alarmed: declaring his sympathy to Votelli in public, around a group of new gods and shinki that Hakkai only mostly knows, is dangerous. But it's no more dangerous than things other people in the same room had done. It's not tangible support; it's nothing that might link Gojyo to her in a way that will take him down if the Heavens find her.

But he suspects that building a shrine is the sort of thing that, in the Heavens' sideways thinking about loyalty, is second only to accepting a name.]

-- Is anyone worshiping there yet?

[ Hakkai sounds mad. Gojyo doesn't set his chopsticks down, doesn't really react, but there's a decided set to his jaw as he reaches for another bite. ]

Dunno. I didn't want to risk anyone followin' me so I haven't been back.

[ Should he admit that Goku helped? ...No, he dragged Goku along, the kid didn't volunteer. Hakkai can be mad at him, not at the shrimp.

Oh, speaking of... mmm. Shrimp. ]

[Gojyo's jaw sets mulishly. Hakkai's lips flatten -- of course, he should've realized that being worried about the risks Gojyo's running on behalf of a child would only annoy him -- and he moves briskly ahead, picking up a bit of something that looks like carrot and seaweed.]

It'll need human attention if it's going to do her any good. We should ask her, when we meet.

[Which they are still going to do, even if Gojyo's decided to get defensive again. Aren't they?]

[ Damn right they are. She needs help, and Gojyo's come to accept that he can't help her by himself. ]

I'm not stupid, you know. [ It'll need human attention, come on. ] I know it needs humans around. That's the whole point.

[ Pettily, he helps himself to the last bite of that wonderful pork. ]

I did my research.

I know you did. I'm just not sure if something built by a person from the Far Shore will get mortal attention.

[Ah, there's the sound of Now you're calling me stupid! again, lurking in Gojyo's voice. It's more that Hakkai's afraid it'll draw the wrong sort of attention, and if the shrine doesn't have any human traffic concealing the signs of a shinki's hard work--

-- then will they be able to track it back to that shinki? Will he be able to defend Gojyo against Amaterasu again? He isn't willing to trust his God of Fortune title too far. Ebisu had been executed, after all.]

Sure it will.

[ Look, there's a lot of issues with his plans, and he can't be mad that Hakkai thinks he didn't consider all the options. Amaterasu's people will probably find the shrine, eventually, and they'll probably be able to tell he's the one who set it up. He's accepted that risk from the first. But the idea that humans might not see it? That doesn't make any sense. ]

Heaven didn't have a human go set up your shrines, right? [ Actually, he doesn't know the answer to that, but he'd be really surprised if any humans had been involved. ] Plus, the book I found, it was instructions for gods to set up shrines for themselves. No mortals required.

[ He is right about this. Isn't he? ]

There have been humans caring for my shrines for as long as I've been a god -- longer, I suspect. I've never heard of a god making their own shrine.

[He shakes his head, slowly, frowning in thought.]

But just because I haven't heard of it doesn't mean it's impossible. I know they often fail to notice things we do, though, as well as not noticing us.

[Online postings, for example, seem to elude the living even when they're not just on the Heavens' bulletin board.]

[ Humans caring for his shrines? Aw, shit. That's different. Gojyo's face falls. ]

Th'book didn't say anything about that.

[ Or maybe it did -- it's not like he got to finish reading the section, what with some asshole interrupting him and throwing books at his head. ]

Shit, what if it's not working? [ This is actually serious. ] If she doesn't have any other followers besides this Sensei guy, she could vanish at any time.

[ He looks up, meeting Hakkai's eye with his best let's go break shit grin. ]

Want to take this date on the road?

[Hakkai checks his watch, looks up and around for the server, shrugs slightly, and tosses a crumpled few bills on the table. It's too much, but they can come back once they've checked Votelli's shrine.]

Let's. Where is it?

[His smile is a little sharp-edged as he adds:]

As soon as we're sure she has a few other followers, we can do something about that 'Sensei.'

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