The Near Shore's Next Top Model [closed]

[subconmodo]

Who: Snatcher and Zetta
What: A couple of gods have a passion for fashion! ... prayers
When: March 16, late night
Where: Some woman's home on the Near Shore


Snatcher grimaced as he held up a misshapen, off-center, awkward-looking lump of stitched fabric in front of him. The lady hadn't been kidding: she was a total amateur. The whole thing was a mess, better suited to line a trash bin than be worn. Even her choices in fabric were all wrong.

"Nope. Starting from scratch!" he announced to himself, promptly tossing the old costume over his shoulder, and cracked his knuckles to start digging through the fabric the woman had bought.

Comments

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Damn straight." Seriously, the lady didn't need divine intervention, she needed a downright miracle. Fortunately, thanks to liberal use of chloroform, neither she nor her brat would wake up to bother the two deities tonight, meaning maybe they had a hope of salvaging this mess after all. "I can't even tell what the hell that's supposed to be -- a fruitcake waffle? Next!"

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An old, beaten mannequin, stolen from a tailor over a week ago, appeared in the center of the room in a puff of smoke as Snatcher scrutinized the fabric clutched in each claw.

"Wow, really? Animal print? For a child beauty pageant? What kind of image is she even going for here? I might even have to dip into my own stash."

He glanced over at Zetta. "Though I've gotta admit, I'm a little surprised to see you here. This whole thing doesn't seem like your style--no pun intended"

Some pun intended.

...

Pun totally intended.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Maybe she secretly wants her kid to lose. Child beauty pageants are hell." He should know, as a demon. And speaking of that, Snatcher's comment earned him a flat sidelong.

"Power is power. I can't afford to be all prideful about whatever will build my strength up to reclaim my position!"

[subconmodo]

"Position?" Snatcher echoed, summoning a few bolts of fabric that he carefully laid to the side. "Overlord or God of Fortune?" He paused a moment, then whirled around to face Zetta fully.

"Wait, can you lose a God of Fortune position?" he asked with far too much excitement.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Overlord, of course. Everything's in service to that. I figure this power of prayer is just as good for when I need to use it as mana power." And he didn't exactly have a choice, after all. Work with what you had.

[subconmodo]

"Oh." His face fell. "Well, worth a shot, I suppose." He still couldn't say he saw how "Overlord" was a downgrade from "god," but whatever floated Zetta's hardback boat.

"Let's see... Red or purple?" he asked the animal print went up in flames. It was a miracle the smoke alarm didn't go off.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

The family had probably disabled the smoke alarm after the 876th time it had gone off just for cooking dinner.

"What's with -- never mind." Did Snatcher here actually want to become a God of Fortune? Considering who else had the position, he was pretty sure the title was an insult. "I say red. How about silver trim? Gold's too predictable."

[subconmodo]

Snatcher immediately stopped where he was and frowned over at Zetta. "Seriously? Silver? Sure, it has it's place, but there's a reason gold is used with red so often. It's a classic!"

And apparently serious business as well.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Exactly! It's a classic, therefore it's boring! It won't stand out! We gotta make this kid look great, right?"

Super serious business.

[subconmodo]

"'Classic' and 'boring' are not the same thing. They aren't even in the same zip code! Unless we're tossing another color into this mix, it's red and gold." As if to underline the point, he put his hand on his hips.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Well, that wasn't fair! Zetta can't do that at all! How dare he take this conflict to that level!

"They absolutely are! How many kids are gonna be wearing red and gold? Probably a few! So what message are we sending here? 'Oh, you're the same as other girls?' NO! We have to say, 'BETTER!'"

[subconmodo]

"And we can say 'better' with the design itself! That little girl is going to have the most adorable ballerina-style dress in the whole show. I'm not settling for anything less."

For such an inane, ultimately unimportant thing, Snatcher made it sound both threatening and vaguely ominous. When he had begun to take this task so seriously was anyone's guess.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

With Zetta, the answer was obvious: he'd begun taking it seriously the moment Snatcher had disagreed with him. "Of course she is, damn it! The design is crucial! But the colors also matter! Think of the message silver sends compared to gold!"

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Snatcher grinned--wider than usual. "I already have. It says 'second place.'"

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Well, don't blame ME for your failures of imagination. Try harder! Rail some innovative thought through whatever passes for your neurons!"

[subconmodo]

Did he just...? He did. HELL no. "Excuse you? I'm sorry, which of us has arms again? I've got more experience sewing than you could ever hope to achieve!"

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"I've had arms way, way longer than you! Just because I don't have them now doesn't dismiss the entire REST of my life!"

He couldn't argue the sewing point, so he ignored it.

[subconmodo]

He gasped overdramatically and put a hand to his chest. "Oh, I'm sorry! I wasn't aware we were going back to the stone age to work on your fashion sense! Please, get the time machine ready and I'll hop on in."

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"I'd send you back in time right now if I had hands!" Zetta snapped. "Maybe you can learn to be a little less rigidly conformist!"

[subconmodo]

Snatcher pretended not to hear. "Maybe if I have enough fabric left I might even consider making you a book cover." That was close enough to book fashion, right?

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"Sure, sure," Zetta said, volume slowly working up, "--AFTER you make a design that is INTERESTING and STANDS OUT for this kid instead of making her one more generic blobfish in an ocean of blobfish!"

[subconmodo]

"Fine. You want to play this game? Then let's play. We'll both make a dress for the little brat and see what one she chooses." He smirks and sits up straight. "Consider it a test to see which one of us is the better god."

It was Snatcher, of course, but he was up for dishing out a little humiliation.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

"You're on!"

So much for cooperation. This was going to be a strange entry in the theology of the gods.

[subconmodo]

At least they weren't holding a beauty contest over an apple. "Better than the Greeks..." Perhaps the lowest of the godly bars to rise above.

In an instant, Snatcher's side of the room becomes a whirlwind of fabric, thread, fabric glue, and glitter, ribbons and scraps left on the floor to be some other persons problem to pick up.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

In the same instant, Zetta's half became a giant cartoonish cloud of dust and chaos, with occasional shots of minions popping out with needles and thread in hand or through skin before diving back into to resume the chaos.