[There are things he would prefer not to admit to but then he must. When so many things are left unsaid to withhold those he can safely say is not only wrong but simply cruel.]
This place. I had let its values take over my own. I didn't want to take another shinki because I thought this would be dishonest. That someone could say I'm doing it only to protect you. That I am playing favourites with my people.
[A pause.]
Of course, I want to protect you. As much as you want to protect me. As you are already protecting me. That's what lovers do. They protect each other. None that finds it wrong deserves their opinions to be heard.
[For all the torment, the misery, the nightmares, all of it, he gets on their shared bond Iskandar knows there's a larger part, the majority, he doesn't. Because Waver blocks as much of it as he can. Because Waver would grind his own heart to dust if only that meant Iskandar would be spared pain. Iskandar would do the same for him without a moment of hesitation. As aptly illustrated by his self-destructive rage earlier on that left him in his current state.]
Even purely strategically it makes more sense for you to be fighting by my side. I always knew that. Where did I lose it?
[He leans down, careful not to put too much of his weight on Waver, just enough to be able to plant a kiss on that raven black mane of his.]
I will find us someone who can help.
[Not to replace Satya, that's impossible, but to help. Someone who would consciously agree to do so after Iskandar would explain their situation. And only then.]
Until I do, I will be careful, I promise. No trips to the Near Shore. All the prayers will have to wait too but I believe my followers are quite a sturdy lot. They can handle some delay.
[And both him and Waver deserve a break. Some time to rest and heal. In more ways than one.]
no subject
[He sighs. No. That's not really true, isn't it?]
Actually, I didn't. I ...
[There are things he would prefer not to admit to but then he must. When so many things are left unsaid to withhold those he can safely say is not only wrong but simply cruel.]
This place. I had let its values take over my own. I didn't want to take another shinki because I thought this would be dishonest. That someone could say I'm doing it only to protect you. That I am playing favourites with my people.
[A pause.]
Of course, I want to protect you. As much as you want to protect me. As you are already protecting me. That's what lovers do. They protect each other. None that finds it wrong deserves their opinions to be heard.
[For all the torment, the misery, the nightmares, all of it, he gets on their shared bond Iskandar knows there's a larger part, the majority, he doesn't. Because Waver blocks as much of it as he can. Because Waver would grind his own heart to dust if only that meant Iskandar would be spared pain. Iskandar would do the same for him without a moment of hesitation. As aptly illustrated by his self-destructive rage earlier on that left him in his current state.]
Even purely strategically it makes more sense for you to be fighting by my side. I always knew that. Where did I lose it?
[He leans down, careful not to put too much of his weight on Waver, just enough to be able to plant a kiss on that raven black mane of his.]
I will find us someone who can help.
[Not to replace Satya, that's impossible, but to help. Someone who would consciously agree to do so after Iskandar would explain their situation. And only then.]
Until I do, I will be careful, I promise. No trips to the Near Shore. All the prayers will have to wait too but I believe my followers are quite a sturdy lot. They can handle some delay.
[And both him and Waver deserve a break. Some time to rest and heal. In more ways than one.]