thenearshore | [closed]

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Who: Ukoku and friends (I'm sure they're friends)
What: luring people into his hell temple to do bad magic for bad reasons, nice conversations
When: some days
Where: aforementioned hell temple
Warnings: crows in a literal pie

[ The enchantment was a little too much. His fault, maybe, for being economical (see also "lazy") about it, but it doesn't really matter. It worked, and it's still working. The question, now that things have changed, is whether it's still useful.

But there's no benefit in being quick to throw away Ni Jianyi. So he shows up at the temple of Dionysus, not a priest (a not-like-the-other-old-guys professor, at best, with a hoodie over a dress shirt and his stupid yellow monkey hair tie wrapped around his wrist on top of an incongruously sober black watch), and knocks. ]

[ Generally, nothing she does really surprises Ukoku—but the text asking after his hangover (as if he had no experience handling them) came close. That was a week and a half ago. He's never expecting her, strictly speaking, but now, less than ever.

The temple has changed since she was last there. The boxes around the perimeter of the atrium are gone, as are the sigils—and the pool in the center. It's been replaced by a crater with sharp, curving edges.

Ukoku himself is out in his makeshift lab, behind the temple. ]

[ It's been days since the pool disappeared, and the most Ukoku has said about it—in passing—is that he made a mistake with some magic. Nothing to worry about! He's been busy, too, either out of the temple or in the greenhouse (which now has zero plants) when Guy's not, and he may or may not be inconspicuously checking whatever easy, boring lab work Guy chooses to do for him.

On this particular day, though, Ukoku actually makes a point to locate him as soon as he gets back to the temple. ]

Guy?

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[ He's going to be dead of lung cancer by the time this conversation's over. It takes him a few seconds longer to answer, as if out of respect. ]

There are lot of things they don't warn us about here. I'm really starting to believe it's out of malice.

Yes! [ Finally, somebody else who agrees! He drops back into his chair and gestures at Ni with his beer. ] That's what I've been sayin'. They bring a bunch of us here from the same world, but then half of us get labeled gods and aren't allowed to talk about it. They give us powers, but don't tell us how to use 'em. Even those ayakashi things... how many of those are just people with spells on 'em? And here we are, gettin' sent out to kill them.

[ That part, at least, is familiar, but at least back in China he was killing possessed people of his own free will. It's different, okay? ]

It's a trap, an' a sloppy one. I just don't know who it's a trap for.

It is sloppy!

[ He thumps his beer on the table with sudden amused conviction. ]

There's no clear direction! I don't know whether I'm against Heaven or against someone else. I can't be for Heaven; they're not helpful, at best. Have they ever had one of those meetings before? You can't just have a meeting to say "telling someone not to do something will inevitably make them want to do it" followed by "so don't talk to your shinki about anything;" if nothing else, that's so obvious I kind of feel insulted.

You think she's in on it?

[ It doesn't seem all that likely -- surely Amaterasu is aware and approving when her pet gods give speeches, especially speeches to everyone, right? But on the other hand... ]

Because I can't figure out why Amaterasu wasn't the one givin' that speech.

[ Ukoku finishes off the rest of his beer, shakes it uselessly, and gets up for another one. (He considers the sake in the back of the fridge, briefly, but given the company, this is unlikely to spiral into philosophy bullshit hour—also, sake is better at night). ]

You don't think so? I bet you could come up with at least one good idea as to why Amaterasu didn't give that speech.

[ Casually, Gojyo flips him off. ]

Look, either she agreed with what was said or she didn't. If she agreed, then it would have been a, a what. A stronger message, coming straight from her, right? She's a little kid but she talks like a fancy lady, she'd've been fine giving that speech. So either she didn't want to, or she didn't know about it... or she couldn't.

She must have been busy going down to the Near Shore and personally answering prayers, right? [ He flops into his chair again, mainly so he can share the beercanashtray. ] Either way, Suijin certainly has disproportionate influence.

Oh! That reminds me— [ speaking of disappearing acts— ] was that you I heard at the end of the meeting?

[ Yeah. Answering prayers. ...Is she locked up somewhere? She's supposed to be super-powerful, but she is still just a kid. Maybe he should go politely knock on some doors and politely ask about her whereabouts. Politely. ]

Huh? [ Oh, Ni was talking, huh. ] You mean the one person who had a problem with the shit Suijin was spewing? Yeah, that was me. [ Everyone else just wants to play at rebellion, keeping their mouths shut and nodding and smiling and hoping that somebody else rescues them. It's embarrassing. Plus, the yelling had a purpose beyond just venting. ]

I was hopin' one of the old gods would get pissed off enough to come over and let some stuff slip, but I got swarmed by new gods instead. [ What can ya do, right? ]

[ He laughs, delighted and approving—the kind of laugh that comes after I'll just have one shot or we won't go too far or it's not like we'd get caught. ]

Suijin must have been so happy to hear it.

[ He's quiet for a second, lighting another cigarette. ]

I hope you've warned your shinki. Speaking up was very selfless, but if I were you, I'd be looking over my shoulder for weeks.

[ Don't think he hasn't thought about it. It's a very real danger, and just just because Hakkai will absolutely murder him if he gets himself vanished by some angry old gods. But there's no gain without taking risks, right?

He shrugs, the picture of casual cockiness, and grins toothily around the butt of his cigarette. ]

They can try. Besides... [ He waves off Ni's concerns. ] ...a set-up like that? They wanted us to react. It was all just a show. They're not gonna do a damn thing to me for playin' along.

[ He's about to point out the obvious—that inviting reactions would be the best way to mark dissenters—until he looks at Gojyo, and pauses, studying him with interest. He's putting on a brave face; accepting needless, punishing responsibility. He's like Genjo, in that way. At least you'll die young, he doesn't say; they'd all have probably died young anyway. ]

So that was all deliberate, on your part. That's good. Let me ask you this: are you looking for crumbs of information, or are you looking for leverage? What do you want to do?

[ Gojyo actually pauses at that, and takes a considering drag off his cigarette to buy a moment to think. He'd been expecting this Ni asshole to tell him he's an idiot and change the subject, not treat him like somebody with a brain and the ability to make rational decisions.

It's kinda nice, being treated as a grown-up! Even if it is from some slimy dick who looked like he got dressed in the dark at a thrift store. ]

Information. [ Leverage would be nice, and brute force is more his style, but... ] This is probably an inside job, so that means throwing out weight around's just gonna get us taken out. [ Like what happened to Elsa. ] There's too many too-strong players with too many secrets. We're all relying too much on the powers they gave us, and we're crippled by not bein' able to talk to each other without some of us goin' ayakashi. We need a better idea of what we're up against.

[ He smirks, cocky on top but self-effacing's in there too. ] Good thing for Team Goin' Home, they think some of us are too stupid to be a threat, so they don't bother watchin' what they say around us.

[ And then he pulls his punches. He wouldn't if the rest of them weren't here, Ukoku guesses. It's a measured recklessness—also like Genjo.

He slouches in his chair, visibly considering. ]

If you wanted to, you could take one of the old gods off the table. Indefinitely, without implicating yourself. Depending on how resolved you are, I mean.

[ He doesn't bother hammering in the implication that he's not. ]

I don't know how necessary it is when there's so much we still aren't sure of, but keep it in mind.

[ Is Ni baiting him? Is Ni seriously trying the you could do it if you weren't a scairdy tactic? ]

Yeah, we probably could take out one of th'old gods. And then their shinki would go rat us out and we'd have all of heaven breathin' down our necks.

[ Does Ni think he's really that stupid after all? How disappointing. ...Unsurprising though. ]

If it's so easy, why haven't you done it yet?

I don't want to go back.

[ Ukoku looks away, after a second, blowing smoke at the ceiling. ]

"We can't do it because it'd never work." That's defeatism! [ He emphasizes each word with a thump of his beer can. ] Anything can work. You don't even know what resources you have access to. How can you accurately judge what you can or can't do? For instance: I'm offering to help you. Who am I?

[ Right: he'd forgotten for the moment that Ni was dead, back in their world. Still, though... here they're prisoners. Who wouldn't choose a chance at life over captivity? ]

You? You're a stage magician who can't even manage a tracking spell without it misfiring. [ Call him defeatist. Fuck you, clown. ]

That was one time!

[ It's good-natured. He tosses his pack of cigarettes from hand to hand as he speaks, back and forth. ]

Besides: even stage magicians have a few skills, yeah? Misdirection, illusions—

[ With a minor flourish, the cigarettes are gone: in his hand is an origami rabbit. He flicks it across the table at Gojyo. ]

—Keeping secrets. I found that in Susano'o's temple before it disappeared, among other things that might be more useful to someone looking for information. I really think you should reconsider this magic thing.

[ Gojyo snatches the rabbit midair, the motion instinctive rather than coming from any real interest in the illusion. Still, once it's in his hand he turns it over and over between his fingers, looking for... for something. For the edges of the spell, or something. ]

Who are you? [ --he asks at last, a little quieter and a little more serious than he's been so far. Like he's expecting to not like the answer. ]

[ There's nothing incriminating on the rabbit: its ear is mangled; it was sitting behind the monitor propped against the wall. There's another one, a frog, under the table. Those that didn't seem to have any of Susano'o's cryptic notes on them Ukoku quickly abandoned in various places around his temple, and they've never gotten thrown out or swept up since then. His life is a disaster.

His cigarettes are on the table, now, next to his hand. It was really just the kind of cheap parlor trick Gojyo was accusing him of, but cheap tricks are underrated.

Ukoku sinks lower in his chair as if thinking about how to answer, taking a slow sip of his beer. ]

A dharmapala.

[ It kills him that they gave him the name of one, even if it's false, even if they missed the joke. ]

Who are you?

[ Notes? So there's stuff written on the rabbit if he unfolds it? Stuff like the previous dayglo letters and figures that were all over the house? Let's find out! ]

That a fancy word for ghost?

[ It's cute, in a way, that he doesn't know these things, this man who's spent the past two years traveling with one of Shangri-La's holiest priests. ("Holiest priests.") ]

It's a fancy word for—

[ He breaks off when he sees what's happening, and suddenly his cigarettes are flying across the table at Gojyo's head. He has great aim. ]

Don't hurt him!

[ He's reaching across the table now for his stupid paper rabbit. He's going to spill both their beers. ]

Wha--?

[ For all that he's been straight-up accusing Ni of being a suspicious bastard, he didn't actually expect to be attacked. The cigarettes to the face take him off guard, and as Ni leans forward Gojyo pulls back, clutching the little origami rabbit to his chest purely on instinct.

At least, until his chair goes all the way back and he finds himself flat on the floor. Ow. ]

What the hell?!

[ He throws the rabbit at Ni (not that it goes far -- poor aerodynamics, Sho, -3 points), legs flailing as he kicks himself back up onto his feet. ]

What th'fuck is wrong with you?

[ Ukoku swipes the rabbit out of the air, lying on the table—he's somehow, miraculously, managed to land between both their beers and the pseudo-ashtray; nothing has spilled. At some point he's also grabbed the little paper frog off the floor, and he's holding it out with his other hand as if to propose a hostage exchange. For a second he just stares.

Then he pitches the frog at Gojyo. ]

You're pretty fast, though!

[ That's what's important here. ]

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