Jennifer (
theunluckygirl) wrote in
thenearshore2017-01-04 06:02 pm
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[closed]
Who: Jennifer & a couple people
What: Jennifer's nora'd, and talks to a couple friends about some memories she regained
When: June 1st...I GUESS??
Where: The temples for Hijikata, Sharak, and Masaki's god
Summary: points to the 'what' section. I might add more starters for people later ehhh
[Talk Nora to Me -- Hijikata]
[She feels like she's going to have a heart attack and faint already, and she's barely crossed the threshold of his gates. She's unannounced, it's rude, she should've said something but if she'd <>said something he would've expected her. his way, if it turns out he's not home, she's free to leave. No obligation to continue! It's perfect.
Unless, of course, he is here. She feels her heart skip a beat and her stomach twist uncertainly, but she takes a deep breath and reminds herself that she's made up her mind about this. It's her decision and she's made it and darn it she's going to go through with it! Unless he tells her no.
What if he says no?? She didn't actually plan for that and while the beauty and general calm serenity of the temple goes a long way in helping her calm down, her heart still races. Jennifer both really hopes to see him, and really hopes she doesn't.]
[There's a dirty joke i could make here about roosters but for Jennifer's sake i won't -- Sharak]
[The place is pretty in its simplicity, Jennifer can appreciate it. Like with Hijikata she doesn't announce her arrival beforehand, both hoping to see the other woman and hoping Sharak will be out for the day so she has an excuse to leave.
The conversation she wants to have isn't as big a deal as nora-ing (though she briefly toys with that idea too, if she's being bold today why not go the full way?), but it's still deeply personal.
And, Jennifer thinks with a sigh, not something she should be sharing anyhow. Sharak isn't her god, there's no reason for her to care, but in the brief time spent with her, Jennifer's grown fond of her. She wants to continue the meditation thing, it's helped!, and it offers her another excuse if she can't get her nerve up.
Ugh. She takes a breath and glances around, hoping (sort of) to catch sight of Sharak and make her presence known if Sharak doesn't already somehow know she's there.]
[Muffled 'Welcome To The Jungle' playing in the background -- Masaki, maybe Dio??]
[Unlike her previous adventures, Jennifer feels more confident about speaking to Masaki. They were closer friends, she thinks, of a sort, both being shinki and all. That makes them more equals, and therefore Jennifer more comfortable.
Also unlike her previous adventures, she feels she's reached a point where she has to reach out first to make her intentions to drop in known. Not so much out of politeness (though it is partly that, since it's Masaki's god's temple, not her own) but because Jennifer has shown up and gotten horribly turned around in the weird jungle.
So she pull out her phone to slowly send a text]
Masaki? I came by your god's temple to see you. But I think I may have gotten lost. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience. I should have said something beforehand, but I suppose I wanted it to be a little bit of a surprise? I'm sorry.
[Help. :(]
What: Jennifer's nora'd, and talks to a couple friends about some memories she regained
When: June 1st...I GUESS??
Where: The temples for Hijikata, Sharak, and Masaki's god
Summary: points to the 'what' section. I might add more starters for people later ehhh
[Talk Nora to Me -- Hijikata]
[She feels like she's going to have a heart attack and faint already, and she's barely crossed the threshold of his gates. She's unannounced, it's rude, she should've said something but if she'd <>said something he would've expected her. his way, if it turns out he's not home, she's free to leave. No obligation to continue! It's perfect.
Unless, of course, he is here. She feels her heart skip a beat and her stomach twist uncertainly, but she takes a deep breath and reminds herself that she's made up her mind about this. It's her decision and she's made it and darn it she's going to go through with it! Unless he tells her no.
What if he says no?? She didn't actually plan for that and while the beauty and general calm serenity of the temple goes a long way in helping her calm down, her heart still races. Jennifer both really hopes to see him, and really hopes she doesn't.]
[There's a dirty joke i could make here about roosters but for Jennifer's sake i won't -- Sharak]
[The place is pretty in its simplicity, Jennifer can appreciate it. Like with Hijikata she doesn't announce her arrival beforehand, both hoping to see the other woman and hoping Sharak will be out for the day so she has an excuse to leave.
The conversation she wants to have isn't as big a deal as nora-ing (though she briefly toys with that idea too, if she's being bold today why not go the full way?), but it's still deeply personal.
And, Jennifer thinks with a sigh, not something she should be sharing anyhow. Sharak isn't her god, there's no reason for her to care, but in the brief time spent with her, Jennifer's grown fond of her. She wants to continue the meditation thing, it's helped!, and it offers her another excuse if she can't get her nerve up.
Ugh. She takes a breath and glances around, hoping (sort of) to catch sight of Sharak and make her presence known if Sharak doesn't already somehow know she's there.]
[Muffled 'Welcome To The Jungle' playing in the background -- Masaki, maybe Dio??]
[Unlike her previous adventures, Jennifer feels more confident about speaking to Masaki. They were closer friends, she thinks, of a sort, both being shinki and all. That makes them more equals, and therefore Jennifer more comfortable.
Also unlike her previous adventures, she feels she's reached a point where she has to reach out first to make her intentions to drop in known. Not so much out of politeness (though it is partly that, since it's Masaki's god's temple, not her own) but because Jennifer has shown up and gotten horribly turned around in the weird jungle.
So she pull out her phone to slowly send a text]
Masaki? I came by your god's temple to see you. But I think I may have gotten lost. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience. I should have said something beforehand, but I suppose I wanted it to be a little bit of a surprise? I'm sorry.
[Help. :(]
no subject
I'm sorry for coming over unannounced. I hope I'm not interrupting something...?
no subject
[She wasn't getting anything too useful out of it. Sharak starts to walk back inside and nudges a pile of books under an end table a little further.]
I've got time for a break. How have you been?
no subject
Sorry, I suppose I'm nervous. But things have been-- fine. I suppose I can't complain. [She doesn't know what else to really compare it to so for her everything is going about as well as she expects it to be. Which... That isn't very reassuring either.]
I wanted to do more with the meditation, if you had the time. And... [Jennifer hesitates, wondering how to word this.] I remembered something, from when I was alive. [She continues in a bit of a rush:] I didn't really know who else to talk to about it and you seem kind and smart, so I... [She trails off, embarrassed, and suddenly wishes she could take it back]
no subject
[Also: "kind and smart". Jennifer, you'll make her blush. She gestures for Jennifer to go into the main central room of the temple, where there is little furniture but a stone floor covered in cushions and blankets.]
Sit down. Tell me about it and then, if you want, we can work on your meditation.
[Because a) she's curious and b) it will be more effective if she knows what's on Jennifer's mind.]
no subject
As she takes a seat on the floor, hands folded in her lap, back ramrod straight in the picture of rigid politeness, Jennifer struggles to figure out where to begin.] I was... in a room. I was young-- I think. [her brow furrows a moment and then she nods] I was just a child. About 9. [Details, stupid details she's getting caught up in to avoid the main part of it.]
There were other girls, my age or not too much older, standing before me... and a stack of boxes and chairs like a throne. I was on the floor... [Jennifer goes quiet a moment, expression distant.] And then-- Wendy. The girl sitting on the throne, in a pretty red dress. She came to me and gave me roses. She smiled.
"You're friend is in the bag. It's too late now." That's what one of the other girls said to me. They were all smiling, they looked so pleased with themselves... There was a bloody bag near-by. I don't know for sure what was in it, except 'my dear friend.' I knew they'd killed him. I just knew... [Murderous 9-13 year olds that's fine.] I felt sick, I wanted to cry, but I...
I hit her instead. Wendy. She was in charge, I know that. I attacked her and yelled at her, I was so angry. [Please imagine Jennifer of any age actually reacting violently to anything. She stares down at her hands as if in semi-disbelief herself.] I yelled at them all. That they weren't aristocrats at all, that I hated them... That I hated myself the most, because I never had the strength the stand up to them and just kept playing their games... And because of being such a coward, I'd lost something so dear to me...
They were afraid of me. [Jennifer laughs a little to herself and shakes her head.] I'd beaten their princess. Wendy ran away, and that's where the memory fades.
It was scary, to remember something like that, but I've been feeling... a lot different ever since.
no subject
They were right to be afraid. [Some time during Jennifer's story, Sharak sat down opposite her. She's there now, sitting still with a placid expression.] Though they should have expected it, if they were so excited to provoke you.
... Violent urges like that can be frightening, but they exist within everyone. Even children.
no subject
She looks up, as if surprised to notice Sharak sitting there, though it was more that she'd been focusing so intently on looking anywhere else that Jennifer hadn't noticed Sharak moving.] I don't think I'm normally like that. Violent, I mean. At least, I would hope not. [Jennifer pauses, a tad frustrated]
I suppose I just don't know, however. With no memory, I don't know. Perhaps I was just like that.
no subject
If you don't want to be that kind of person, just be careful. Now you know you have it in you, you can be on guard for it.
[Sharak leans back on her hands and stretches her shoulders a little.]
But remember what you're capable of as well. The next time someone tries to hurt you or someone you love, remember that you're strong enough to fight them. If you want to.
no subject
She clenches her hands together on her lap and closes her eyes, thinking back on how she'd felt in that memory. After a moment she nods and opens them again, looking down at her hands]
...I decided I never wanted to feel that way again. I'd lost something that meant so much because I'd been too afraid to stand up for myself. [She's still going to be polite and nice, because, well, she's still her, but--] I don't want to allow anyone to push me around anymore.
[Jennifer pauses and then sighs deeply, looking at Sharak a little helplessly.] How do I be more like you? No one would dare try to tell you what to do...
no subject
Well, they still sometimes try... [It just doesn't work.
Sharak looks back at Jennifer thoughtfully. Then she breaks eye contact to get out a packet of cigarettes and starts to light one.] You don't need to be like me. People will tell you what to do no matter how strong or fearless you are. All you can control is how you react.
no subject
But she smiles a little] I really can't imagine anyone trying to tell you what to do--or you letting them get away with it.
[But she also understands what Sharak's saying here. She takes another breath and exhales slowly, her voice growing softer] ...Thank you, for listening to me. I feel better now that I've been able to tell someone.
[The idea of talking to her won god about it had never crossed her mind.]
no subject
You're welcome. I'm glad I could help.
[Sharak takes a long drag from her cigarette before speaking again.]
... Try imagining it. Telling me what to do.
no subject
[She doesn't even know what she could give an order about. She looks around, but her gaze goes back to the cigarette again.]
I, um... [It's really a struggle, more so than it should be, but Jennifer feels the weight of the need to be polite threatening to crush her at the thought of ordering someone about in their own home. Her fingers curl in her dress uneasily and she takes a breath. Well, Sharak likely wouldn't do it anyway, and maybe she should just indulge it for a minute or two--it'd be easier that way. Probably.]
Put-- [Ugh. She straightens and forces herself to lift her chin a little. Her tone starts firm, but wavers near the end.] Put your cigarette out-- Please. [Nailed...it....]
no subject
If you'd like. [Then she straightens up, a slightly more gentle look on her face.] Let's try something different.
Think of someone who gives you order, someone who likes to boss you around. Pretend you're that person and that I'm you.
no subject
She meets the next little assignment with a wary look, straightening up a little herself. Someone who bosses her around? The only one she knows that actively does that is Schuldig, and she's not sure she could get anywhere near the arrogance he often displays.]
I... suppose I could do that. I could try. [Sculdig, Schuldig...Think like Schuldig...] What am I supposed to be pretending?
no subject
Sharak just sits where she is, demure and harmless (no). She's still staring at Jennifer.] That's up to you, isn't it? Yell at me, intimidate me, whatever you don't think you can stand up against.