thenearshore | [closed]

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Who: Jennifer & a couple people

What: Jennifer's nora'd, and talks to a couple friends about some memories she regained

When: June 1st...I GUESS??

Where: The temples for Hijikata, Sharak, and Masaki's god

Summary: points to the 'what' section. I might add more starters for people later ehhh

[Talk Nora to Me -- Hijikata]

[She feels like she's going to have a heart attack and faint already, and she's barely crossed the threshold of his gates. She's unannounced, it's rude, she should've said something but if she'd <>said something he would've expected her. his way, if it turns out he's not home, she's free to leave. No obligation to continue! It's perfect.

Unless, of course, he is here. She feels her heart skip a beat and her stomach twist uncertainly, but she takes a deep breath and reminds herself that she's made up her mind about this. It's her decision and she's made it and darn it she's going to go through with it! Unless he tells her no.

What if he says no?? She didn't actually plan for that and while the beauty and general calm serenity of the temple goes a long way in helping her calm down, her heart still races. Jennifer both really hopes to see him, and really hopes she doesn't.]

[There's a dirty joke i could make here about roosters but for Jennifer's sake i won't -- Sharak]

[The place is pretty in its simplicity, Jennifer can appreciate it. Like with Hijikata she doesn't announce her arrival beforehand, both hoping to see the other woman and hoping Sharak will be out for the day so she has an excuse to leave.

The conversation she wants to have isn't as big a deal as nora-ing (though she briefly toys with that idea too, if she's being bold today why not go the full way?), but it's still deeply personal.

And, Jennifer thinks with a sigh, not something she should be sharing anyhow. Sharak isn't her god, there's no reason for her to care, but in the brief time spent with her, Jennifer's grown fond of her. She wants to continue the meditation thing, it's helped!, and it offers her another excuse if she can't get her nerve up.

Ugh. She takes a breath and glances around, hoping (sort of) to catch sight of Sharak and make her presence known if Sharak doesn't already somehow know she's there.]

[Muffled 'Welcome To The Jungle' playing in the background -- Masaki, maybe Dio??]

[Unlike her previous adventures, Jennifer feels more confident about speaking to Masaki. They were closer friends, she thinks, of a sort, both being shinki and all. That makes them more equals, and therefore Jennifer more comfortable.

Also unlike her previous adventures, she feels she's reached a point where she has to reach out first to make her intentions to drop in known. Not so much out of politeness (though it is partly that, since it's Masaki's god's temple, not her own) but because Jennifer has shown up and gotten horribly turned around in the weird jungle.

So she pull out her phone to slowly send a text]

Masaki? I came by your god's temple to see you. But I think I may have gotten lost. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience. I should have said something beforehand, but I suppose I wanted it to be a little bit of a surprise? I'm sorry.

[Help. :(]

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[Jennifer considers this for a moment, before she slowly lays down, getting comfortable. She supposes with something like that it makes sense she'd become something that would represent that. She's also glad that he's not taking it as an insult either.]

'Of all animals, I believe dogs are my favorite.' [So in all this form isn't so bad. She hesitates though and her ears go back against her skull] 'Mr. Souji... We'll have to tell him about this as well, of course...'

[And given Souji's general thoughts on nora....... Jennifer's obviously a bit concerned]

[He thinks of the dog that was there in his vision through her eyes, and finds himself completely unsurprised to hear that. It seems appropriate for her to take the form of a dog, as a protector or companion.]

[He doesn't know much about dogs, himself, but it's hard to miss the way her ears flatten back when she brings up Souji. He lays his hand down as a comforting weight on top of her head, just his fingers moving to stroke lightly through her fur.]

You're worried about that?

'Of course. He's your Exemplar, after all. If he disapproves of me, it would make things difficult for you.'

[Nevermind herself. It's like bringing home the new wife in the harem. If the first/head wife doesn't approve, the new wife is gonna have a bad time.]

'I don't want to get in the way of you two or your relationship.' [Whatever that relationship is.]

Edited 2017-01-12 03:28 (UTC)

Don't get too nervous about any of that, if you can help it. He's a brat sometimes, but he listens to me when it's important. And as far as I'm aware, he likes you fine.

At any rate, he and I could handle worse even if it did cause some problems. Our connection isn't that fragile.

[She considers this for a long moment, and then nods in acceptance.]

'I'm afraid worrying and being nervous is part of the problem with working with me. [If a dog could give a sheepish smile, Jennifer certainly is trying. She's sort of joking, at least, but...]

'Also.' [Here there's a moment of hesitation.] 'There is another reason I wanted to become a nora for you. I... remembered something. Something that made me realize I never wanted to be so... Weak-willed or cowardly again. That I needed to become stronger.'

[The tail wagging stops as she watches for a reaction]

[Hijikata shrugs a little, still petting her ears calmly.]

I said "if you can help it." If it's an unavoidable problem, we work with it.

[He glances down at her, trying not to look too worried or anything. Anything she remembered seems, from his admittedly limited experience of her memories, less than entirely pleasant.]

Do you want to tell me about it?

[For a long moment Jennifer doesn't reply. She lowers her head to rest it on Hijikata's leg, ears flat and tail thumping in a slow, thoughtful way against the floor.]

'I don't know where to begin, I'm afraid.' [The beginning, she supposes.]

'I was n a room of children, all girls. Around 10 or so, a couple a little older. There were boxes set up and chairs, like a throne. And sittng on one was a girl in a red dress. Wendy. And a little teddy bear. Joshua.' [She remembers, vaguely, the bear had a name] 'A teddy bear, but it wasn't, either... i think it was meant to represent something.'

[Oh she's getting off topic] 'Wendy came to me and gave me roses. She smiled, they all looked so pleased with themselves. One of the girls came to me. "Your friend is in the bag. It's too late now." There was a bloody bag nearby, but I'm not sure what was in it. All I know is that in it was a dear friend and that he was dead.

I knew they'd killed him.' [Jennifer goes quiet again, the grief still making her heart ache in remembrance] 'I think... I think Wendy thought it would. bring me back? I don't know. I think I'd left or was leaving and this was her trying to stop that.

I felt so sick, I wanted to scream and cry and give up, but I... hit her, instead. I attacked her. I was so angry. I yelled at her, at all of them... That I hated them, none of them were aristocrats like they'd claimed or pretended to be. And that I'd hated myself the very most, because I'd never had the strength to stand up to them.

They were afraid of me. I'd beaten their Princess, and Wendy ran away. That's where the memory ends.

[Jennifer curls up more, huffing a doggy sigh.] 'Because I'd been such a coward, I'd lost the things precious to me. My beliefs and the will to stand up for them-- I don't want to lose those ever again.'

[Hijikata doesn't react outwardly to the name Joshua, but damn, does it feel uncomfortable to hear Jennifer say. He strokes slowly, steadily through her fur, and tries not to react too much at all, but honestly, he's a little horrified.]

[Blood and revenge and obsession are nothing new to him, but what happened to set children so young on that dark a path?]

[Jennifer deserves better. Any child would, but it's somehow even more upsetting with her, because he cares about her personally.]

I don't know how likely you are to forget a thing like that.

But if you need help from me to hold on to your will, I promise to give it.

[Jennifer sits up enough to press her nose shyly to his cheek--it's easy to be more affectionate in a dog's body like this. There's an instinct to want to cuddle close and roll all over, though she refrains from being too dog-like. No need to go literally slobbering over her new master.]

'You're too kind, Mr. Hijikata. I knew I'd made a good choice.

You just saying this much is enough. I... have to learn to be stronger.' [She sits back and takes a deep breath.] 'Thank you for listening to me.' [Jennifer doesn't require much to get loyalty out of her; her heart was too big and her needs very small. A kind word, a smile, a ruffle on the head-- a dog starved of affection and craving it nonetheless. The dog form was far more fitting than she possibly realized.]

[Hijikata pats the side of her neck gently with a big, broad hand. Her nose is colder and wetter than he quite expected, but the gesture is... sweet?]

Remembering why you want to be stronger is a good first step.

Edited 2017-01-15 05:18 (UTC)

[Jennifer nods in understanding, then cocks her head, looking around. Everything is a little sharper now for her, so it's interesting to pick up on all the new smells and sounds.]

'Should we tell Mr. Souji soon...?' [She assumes the other shinki is hanging around somewhere. Schuldig will also find out sooner or later, unfortunately. She should probably tell him while he's still in this weirdly good mood of his, she reasons.]

[Briefly, he finds himself wondering if she can smell that Souji's around.]

We can. I can call for him, he's around here somewhere.

[She's quiet for a moment, body tense with momentarily hesitance and uncertainty. But then she nods and exhales slowly to relax.]

'Yes. I think that would be best. The sooner the better.'

[Hijikata nods, then scoots back from her a few inches so she's not quite as on top of him.]

I assume you'll want to be able to talk when he gets here, so... Return, Jennifer.

[With her shinki form released, he picks up his phone and sends a text message to Souji: There's something I need to discuss with you. Come to the kitchen when you get this.]

[It's a little disorienting to go from one living thing to another, and for a moment Jennifer sits on hands and knees, collecting herself, before she slowly sits back.

Her hands fold in her lap, posture prim and proper. She says nothing--not sure what there is to say--but the way her hands clench together (and their new bond) belies her nervousness.]

[While they've been talking, the water for the tea has had more than enough time to boil. Hijikata gets up in silence, fills the basket of a small ceramic teapot with loose leaves, and waits a few moments to pour the water on.]

Is green tea alright with you?

[He's not big on small talk, but... they've got a few moments to pass, and complete silence is more awkward.]

[Jennifer starts a little in surprise, staring wide-eyed at Hijikata a moment before her expression turns sheepish and she nods. She'd been focusing so hard on other things that she hadn't been paying a lick of attention to him moving around and his voice had startled her]

Oh. Yes, that's fine. Um-- Shouldn't I be...? [The one serving? or something?? She sits up a little more, clearly prepared to rise and rush over to start helping or something]

[Since Souji was just in the garden, feeding the ducks, it doesn't take him that long to poke his head into the kitchen. He looks a bit puzzled, since among the words you might use to describe Hijikata's usual mode of communication, 'vague' is normally not even a contender.

The confusion only deepens further when he sees Jennifer, and it's pretty blatantly obvious from the look on his face. He nonetheless smiles warmly at her before turning to Hijikata, an attentive look on his face.]

You wanted me, Hijikata-sama?

I've got it. Next time you come here, you won't be a guest, but I invited you in here as one.

[So let him show a little bit of hospitality, Jennifer, gosh!]

[He's just finished pouring the tea when Souji comes in. Before even speaking, he presses a cup into his hands, then gives Jennifer hers, then takes his own and sits down.]

I did.

Jennifer, did you want to begin, or should I?

[Jennifer stands there, awkwardly holding the cup in her hands as she looks anxiously from the tea, to Hijikata, and to Souji in turns. Her legs feel weak now that she's facing the reality of having to tell someone and she wobbles her way back to the table to take a seat herself.]

I, um... [She clutches the cup tightly, her hands shaking. She looks at Souji and then away again. Begin? What is she supposed to say? She wants to tell Hijikata to be the one to talk about it, but she tells herself she can't allow him to do all by himself. She's his shinki now too, right? And she can't start becoming stronger by immediately hiding behind him now]

I... I've decided... to be Mr. Hijikata's shinki. [There. There's a start.]

[He obediently - reflexively, really - takes a small sip of the tea. His eyes linger curiously on Hijikata for a moment, before moving back to Jennifer. She looks... tense, but that isn't entirely unusual. But she doesn't usually seem this nervous about him, does she? He sets down the teacup for a moment, makes as if to step a bit closer to her, and then-

It's just as well that he set the cup down, because otherwise he would probably have dropped it in surprise. And then his face breaks into a huge smile, and hopefully Jennifer is quick at maneuvering her own cup out of the way, or there is going to be a lot of sloshing as he darts forward to give her a spontaneous hug.]

That's wonderful. I kind of hoped that- But I thought that your God wouldn't let you go. I'm glad I was wrong.

[Ah. Way to make things awkward.]

[Well, that's at least partially a good reaction.]

[Awkward, though.]

[And since Jennifer started things, the least he can do is step in to help her out before things get too confusing in here.]

We haven't discussed the matter with her other god yet. She's expressed no intention to have him revoke her name from him that I recall, and even so, I doubt he'll be pleased.

I, um, uh-- [More stammering and spluttering as Jennifer tries to figure out what to say here. She puts her tea aside quickly as Souji rushes her, but she can't relax in the embrace, especially not when Hijikata reveals the rest of it.

Does Souji have anything sharp on hand? Is she going to end up with a knife in her side form this? Not that she thinks Souji would go right for the jugular so quickly (figuratively or literally), but she's running on high nervous energy that she has no doubt Hijikata can feel.

Her head bows a little at the 'confession'-- she's a nora, and she doesn't know what more to say to it.] I... I don't think he would release me, even if I asked... [She knows Too Much, after all. But beside that, she'd feel bad for doing it in the first place.

She feels like she should be apologizing, but she tries to refrain]

[No, he doesn't go for her jugular. But there is a moment of absolute incomprehension, then a brief flash of denial - not Jennifer, surely? - followed by a surge of revulsion he can't quite fight down. Hijikata must surely have felt it, and more than anything, that is the thought that makes him cast his eyes down to the ground. He shouldn't feel like that about a decision his God had made. He shouldn't. And Jennifer... Does she really deserve that?

Being a Nora is wrong. He knows that at the very core of his being. But at the very same core, he also knows that Hijikata is the best God anyone could possibly have. He understands why Jennifer would feel the same. He is certain that Hijikata would never do anything that's... well, wrong.

The two instincts clash with each other for a painful moment, as Souji clutches at a handful of Jennifer's sleeve that he's still holding, eyes glued to the floor. But in the end, Hijikata wins out. As he always does. As he probably always will. He will trust his decision in this, but-]

Do you love him? [His voice is almost pleading.]

Mr. Hijikata? [She blurts out, confused, in response to that question. She looks to the man in question, eyes wide with a mild sort of panic. What is she supposed to say? What's the right answer here?

She looks to Souji again, reaching her hands up to rest them against his shoulders. Her fingers curl into his sleeves and she considers the question and how to answer. She could lie, but that would be a disservice to all of them. On the other hand, it's beyond embarrassing to have an audience to such personal feelings, especially when the object of them was right there.

But there could be no room for hesitation or uncertainty here.] I do. [She's not sure if that's the right thing to say, but it's true. She does love Hijikata, though certainly not as much as or in the same way as Souji. She carefully avoids looking at the other man, it's embarrassing enough already.] I gave myself to him because I love him and I hadn't been given a choice of God before. But now that I have the courage to make it, he's who I chose.

[A deep breath.] Mr. Souji, I don't have any intention of taking him from you, or corrupting him, or...anything you might be concerned about. I simply want to serve him well, to protect him and keep him safe. The same as you, surely. I only wish to support you in that. And to support him.

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ugh I'm so late, sorry

<3

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