Overdue Conversation [closed]

[brynwieldr]

Who: Leo and Niles
What: So these two are finally having a Talk. Now how to dance around the whole secret business...
When: June 8th
Where: Leo's temple
Warnings: Language, probably?

[Whenever Niles arrives back at the temple on the eighth, there is a note on the door that if anyone is looking for Leo, he's in his library all day and that no visitors are being seen today, including family unless it's an emergency. The note then explains that he will be busy with important matters.

This is his way of giving Niles as much time as he needs to handle the situation and to also give Leo time to just process the last few days. It's been wild.]

Comments

[deniles]

[Why did he say the 8th? Why not the 20th? The 20th was easier because then he could figure out how to post pone it more? He really didn't want to have this talk, but if they were at all going to work together and let Niles get over his issues, they had to.

So, he opens the door. Looks around to see if one particular asshole is around before heading to the library. He opens the door and shuts the door.]

...Did you get more books while I was gone?

[brynwieldr]

Just a few more in a series, and some I found on the ground while walking around Heaven.

[Leo shuts his computer down and turns to face Niles. Let's hope this goes well]

Welcome back.

[deniles]

That so.

[He moves to sit down in the chair across from Leo.]

Thanks. Dropped my things off in my room.

[brynwieldr]

I have no idea where they came from.

[Just saying.

When Niles sits down, Leo hesitates before taking a breath]

I'm sorry, Niles.

[deniles]

That so?

[He leans against his arm, and looks at him.]

Okay. I accept your apology.

[brynwieldr]

[Leo manages to not give Niles a scathing look, but he does sigh a bit. Niles don't do this.]

I just. Wanted to say the most important thing I can say first. I know it's not enough to undo months of...incredibly poor behavior, but I am sorry for the way I treated you.

[And then he sighs again and pinches the bridge of his nose]

I am bad at this.

[deniles]

[He does this because sorry is just a word. He's heard it enough to know that it doesn't mean anything without some thought or action behind it.

So when he does start saying more things, he softens.]

It doesn't. But it seems unfair for me to latch onto it.

[Even though he feels no sense of reason to be sorry about his reactions.]

You are a bit. But you're trying. Which is better than nothing.

[brynwieldr]

[Even without his memories, Niles is still better at this than Leo is]

I never meant to treat you so poorly, Niles. I think I panicked, when I arrived here, and I haven't quite been able to find my footing with you after that.

[deniles]

If you panicked, imagine how I must have felt.

[Sorry, he's trying not to guilt you. But he's trying to make you think clearly.]

I understand. It's not okay, you know this. But I at least understand.

[brynwieldr]

...admittedly, I am bad about imagining how other people must feel at times. Ask Forrest.

[He still can't believe the version of him who had Forrest was that callous]

But yes. I want to try and make things work this time, Niles.

[deniles]

I'd rather not ask how you spoke to your son.

[Mainly because he has no idea what will trigger the monster.]

So. What do you plan to do this time?

[brynwieldr]

...I didn't mean that literally, just that he can vouch for it.

[Oops]

I honestly don't know. What you like me to do? Since obviously my ideas are not working for us.

[deniles]

...Leo, I can only do so much. I don't remember anything about myself.

[He looks frustrated and displeased. Why did he come back?]

I could tell you what I want, but none of those things could be reality.

[brynwieldr]

[Leo frowns, but nods. Niles wants to know who he is, and Leo can't tell him.

This isn't working, dammit. He wants to make this work]

No, I understand. But you can tell me what upset you the most, and how I might fix it, and continue to tell me when I misstep. I know I promised some training, and I desperately need to train with you, I have ideas on how to use your abilities but I have no data to support them.

[deniles]

...I've told you what upset me before. Multiple times. You just refuse to accept it or apologize for it.

[Which may be the most frustrating thing of all.]

Then let's train.

[brynwieldr]

["...or did you expect it to be like before?"

Dammit, Takumi.]

That's the problem, I think--I thought I had. I thought I had apologized and got frustrated when you, to me, seemed to just brush me off. I am not very good at this, Niles, but I swear to you, I am trying.

[And this is so frustrating. He misses his best friend, dammit, and he's right here in front of him]

I want to start to make things right.

[deniles]

I believe you're trying. However, it's not exactly easy to remember that when you treat me like a child instead of someone you care about.

[And he's felt like that a lot.]

Then start. I'll accept it when it happens.

[brynwieldr]

...do I seriously treat you like that?

[Gods.]

[deniles]

It concerns me most that you don't even seem to notice. When you shake your head at me, like I'm a child. And you get a look in your eyes when I'm unhappy about something that just screams 'grow up'.

[brynwieldr]

That--that's how I am with most people, I swear I never meant to treat you like a child, Niles. I mean, I'll admit I don't understand why you and Saix insist on this feud, you're both grown men and I need you two to work together. Aside from that, however...

[He sighs]

....I am not good with people, Niles. This is just making that painfully clear to me, and I am so sorry you have had to deal with this.

[Again. As an adult. It was much easier when they were both idiot teenagers]

[deniles]

...Because you like him better, Leo.

[And there goes the dynamite.]

And I'm jealous.

[This is how Leo is coming off to Niles. Someone who talks the talk but when it comes to the walk, he goes off to whatever is easier. And Saix is apparently much easier to deal with that Niles.

At least, that's how it comes across.]

[brynwieldr]

[Leo opens his mouth and then closes it, utterly baffled. Yes, Niles had told him he felt Saix was favored, but not that he was jealous. This hadn't happened back home

...of course this never happened back home. By the time Odin showed up, Niles was well-established and knew Leo thought of him as a close friend.

Well then.]

I never meant for that--if anything, I was worried Saix would come to me and claim I was favoring you since aside from the occasional request to not traumatize Sora, I don't attempt to control you. I don't see a point, if you're not blighting me. I gave you space and didn't insist we work together aside from that prayer with Saix, though I'm sure he wanted me to. I tried to let you do whatever, to make you happy.

[He sighs]

In retrospect, I can see why that might come off as ignoring you for Saix.

[deniles]

...I would have rather you insisted we work together.

[At least he's being honest here.]

It also doesn't help that the first time I heard about Saix wasn't from you.

[That probably bothers him the most. Is he supposed to trust Leo when it felt like Leo was hiding something from him? Because that doesn't seem right, does it?]

[brynwieldr]

I honestly meant to tell you that night, when we weren't all so busy, I swear. Saix just beat me to it.

[Dammit Saix.]

And I realized, coming home from Forrest's that day, I may have come off as upset that you became a nora for him. I wasn't. I was actually very pleased, I was just more upset that neither of you--especially Forrest, since I am his father--didn't tell me that I don't think I made it clear. Trust me, I am very, very thankful you were there to keep him alive and might continue to do so.

[deniles]

...The way you acted made me regret doing it.

[He wouldn't have left Forrest to die, though.]

We didn't feel it was important to tell you. Or at least, I didn't. I didn't think you would care one way or another in this regard.

[brynwieldr]

About my family and my friends? Always, Niles. I always want to know what's happening with them...short of what isn't any of my business, at least.

[deniles]

Again. I didn't think it would be important. I was just... doing what was expected of me.

[brynwieldr]

All that's expected of you here, Niles, is that you don't die and that you listen to me or Forrest in battle. You're a human, not a tool, and if I made you feel otherwise, then I failed you.

[deniles]

...You made me feel that you wished I could be just a tool. Then I wouldn't be so... 'childish'. So that's what I did.

[brynwieldr]

And for that, I am sorry. It won't undo what's been done, but I can promise to do better.

[deniles]

Then let's do it.

[brynwieldr]

Whenever you're ready, Niles.

[deniles]

Let's stop wasting time.