[closed]

[saikusu]

Who: Saïx and Leo
What: a much needed talk
When: June 18, evening (backdated)
Where: Odin's Temple
Summary: Saïx has been avoiding everyone for close to a month now and Leo wants to talk.

It wasn't that he'd set out to avoid everyone at first. Leo seemed occupied with other things. Saïx had no interest in trying to smooth things over with Niles. As for everyone else? It was just easier to lose himself in the daily routine of going for a morning walk, grabbing breakfast along the way and going to work at the animal shelter. After his shift he'd grab dinner, go for another walk, and head back to the temple to bathe and read before bed. The same thing every day.

And if he didn't have to work, he'd go spend the day at the library, trying to find more books like the ones he'd stumbled across the other day. The spell book and history book, not the children's book. It was after one such excursion to the library when he returned to Leo waiting for him by the door to his room.

"Leo," he said with a nod as he reached out and opened the door to his room.

Comments

[brynwieldr]

"Saix. May I come in?"

Now that things were more or less back on even footing with Niles, Leo could turn his attention to the other problem in the temple: Saix. He could appreciate not being social, Leo himself preferred quiet and close friends to crowds and all that, but this was starting to get worrisome.

[saikusu]

"Of course." He stepped into the room and held the door open for Leo. Once they were both in the room, he sat down on the edge of his bed, letting Leo help himself to the chair.

[brynwieldr]

Leo chose to stand. He never did well sitting down when addressing problems like this.

"Is everything alright? We've hardly seen you for the last month."

[saikusu]

"I thought I'd stay out of whatever was going on with you and Niles." He shrugged. Sure, that explained why he hadn't been spending much time at the temple, but it didn't explain why he hadn't even reached out to anyone he knew here.

[brynwieldr]

"Oh, that's been handled now, in short I was an ass and kept being an ass." And now he'd properly apologized and was doing his best not to mess it up again. He wouldn't get another chance and he knew it. "But no one has seen much of you. I know you're not terribly social, but still. Is something wrong?"

[saikusu]

Saïx nodded. It was good to know things were settled between them.

"It's easier to keep to myself than to connect with others." How else could he explain it? He barely understood it himself. "I like people well enough, but I don't feel any real connection to them. I don't feel much of anything."

[brynwieldr]

Had Sora ever mentioned this? Leo couldn't remember but it was largely unimportant. Saix was simply not a people person, maybe with stunted emotional growth.

(And what exactly did it say about Leo that he considered this largely unimportant?)

"Fair enough, I suppose, and I can't exactly make you socialize. Still, isolation this severe isn't good for anyone, Saix. Is there anyway I can help with that?"

[saikusu]

"I'm not isolated." Saïx doesn't feel isolated, at any rate. "I'm around people at work." Though he spent more time with the animals there than any of the humans, but then again, the animals actually notice him without him having to actively get that attention.

[brynwieldr]

Leo paused.

"Saix, you work at an animal shelter. You're around mostly animals...which are admittedly better than humans at times, but still."

[saikusu]

"Is that a problem?" He doesn't think it is. The animals don't judge him for not expressing a wide range of emotions. He doesn't feel a strange social pressure to react a certain way around them. They don't think him strange for his often stiff demeanor.

[brynwieldr]

"No, but it's still technically not solving the problem I came here to talk about." How to explain this...

"I'm just concerned that you risk turning into an ayakashi if you become too isolated, that's all, since it seems everything can trigger that."

[saikusu]

"That's possible?" He had no clue that was something that could result from his lack of interaction with others. That was very concerning, and while there were a lot of things he couldn't feel, a sense of self-preservation was definitely one he could feel. That and anger. He had no difficulty recognizing or experiencing that emotion. But everything else was a hollow, shallow, sort of feeling if anything at all.

Playing with dogs or looking at the night sky brought smiles to his face. He knew on some level he enjoyed them, but it wasn't like he was leaping with joy over them either. He didn't get excited about them like he's seen other people do. Was he broken somehow? He frowned. Even that prospect didn't get any real emotional response from him.

"I didn't intend to worry you."

[brynwieldr]

Leo shrugged. "I have no idea, but for all any of is know it could. I'm just covering all the possibilities." He finally sat down, smiling a little. "I consider you a friend, Saix, and if nothing else you are technically my employee. It's my honor and responsibility to make sure you're not in any sort of trouble or danger."

[saikusu]

"I consider you a friend as well." The only unfortunate thing is that aside from a couple of others that he considered nearly friends, Saïx had no friends other than his god.

"Thank you for looking out for me." Was he supposed to be looking out for Leo as well? He has no memory of what having a friend was like, but surely he had friends before he died. Like so many other things he had knowledge of, Saïx had no clue where his understanding of friendship came from. Or if that understanding was complete or even correct.