thenearshore | [closed] No it can't be true

[Roxas saw the BBS post. He had a feeling something like this would happen again. Every time things were looking up, they would get knocked down. It happened in Koriko and it keeps happening here.

So he goes to look for Sora. The plan was to drag the brunette to his room since there was no chance to be interrupted there unlike Sora's place... but Sora might not want to leave. So, since their temples are connected, that means he can take the hounds with him to stand guard.

It's not hard to find Sora in the end. Roxas doesn't say anything, just stops his partner from moving by hugging him from behind.]

Stop. Please.

[They've had a lot of friends come and go here already. Sora thinks he should be used to it by now. That one day you wake up and that friend is no longer there and you read a note from someone or you hear from somebody. You share stories or notes about that person, make sure those shinki or that god or goddess is okay about the situation.

But it still sucks. He gets attached to people. And it sucks that it's Riku come and gone again. Things were just starting to settle and then poof things change again.

Sora's a bundle of nerves when Roxas comes up behind him but he stills when he feels those arms wrap around. Like a rock that keeps him from jumping out of his skin. He brings his hands up to touch Roxas' wrists, grateful but a little wary. Roxas worked so hard to make things okay with Riku and made promises to Sora that made him so happy and now that just... flutters away.]

I'm okay. [Sora says with a smile. he doesn't want Roxas to worry or for him to hear Sora belly ache about Riku all over again. Roxas doesn't deserve that.]

Edited 2017-03-03 22:37 (UTC)

[On the other hand, Roxas has lost so many friends now (almost 60, if not more) that he finds it a little hard to get overly emotional. Yes, he misses them, but to protect himself from breaking down each time he's accepted a long time ago that this was his lot in life. As long as Sora didn't leave he would be okay with this. Sora leaving would break him. If there was another Sora, and it wasn't this one? There was no chance they would be allowed to get close to Roxas.

He keeps his arms around Sora for a little while longer. Then he pulls away and makes Sora face him by grabbing the others shoulders. The look on his face isn't sadness. It's not worry. Only irritation.]

Don't lie to me. Not about this. You're already keeping way too many things from me, so... Please. Don't lie that you're okay with this. For once be honest with me. Please.

[Sora is grateful everyday that he wakes up and Roxas is still next to him. One of the greatest reasons why he doesn't like to sleep without him these days is because he's a little afraid that one day he will wake up and Roxas won't be there. Clingy, yes. But waking up with Roxas near and being able to squeeze him close first thing as he wakes is a very big comfort for Sora. If Roxas vanished, he's not sure how he'd handle that. If he'd even be able to recover.

Which is why when he's whirled around to face Roxas, Sora feels an instant stab of guilt in his belly. Roxas is mad.

He keeps his gaze on Roxas' face and chews his lip. His hands feel shaky.]

I'm not lying... I just- [Sora mumbles,] I don't want to worry you. I will be okay. It'll be fine.

[Is he really keeping too many things from Roxas? Sora just doesn't want to be the reason Roxas is upset or worried or frowning.]

[Roxas watches him, a clear frown on his face as he listens to Sora. Immediately after he shakes his head.]

You're saying you don't want to worry me... [He bites his lip rather hard.] ... but I feel like you can't trust me. Like you're afraid of how I'll react. And that's not fair! I promised I'd tell you everything! [His voice drops, laced with desperation.] You're not okay... you won't be okay...

[He's hurt. Roxas never thought he'd be in the position to question Sora's trust like this. If Sora won't talk to him...] If... If you don't want to tell me anything, if that makes you happy, then fine. Go find someone to talk to... I'll still tell you everything because I promised. [Eyes are averted as Roxas lets go of Sora.] I feel like I don't know half the things I should about you.

[As Roxas' words bite and sink in Sora feels panic and his heart immediately feels like it's breaking. He reaches out to grab Roxas as soon as Roxas lets go of him.]

Roxas! It's not like that!

[Go find someone else to talk to? Is Roxas wanting to break up with him? It's quick that tears well up in his eyes as everything starts to boil over.]

I do trust you! More than anyone! I... I... I just want to see you smile all the time and I don't want to be the one who makes you upset-

[Sora realizes he's done just that. How does he even begin to start to fix a mess like this. Did he screw this up so bad it's never going to be fixed? He starts crying, the tears streaming down his face and he can't control it.]

I'm so proud of you all the time and I'm always trying to keep up to you. I want to be able to handle things on my own sometimes to prove that I can because everyone treats me like I can't. Roxas... I just... I'm so sorry I really screwed up and now you hate me...

[His shoulders start shaking.]

I'll tell you everything please just don't...don't leave too...

[Letting himself be grabbed, Roxas keep his eyes off of Sora. Hearing Sora pleading and crying was almost too much.]

I never said I hated you.

[He'll address all of this in a few moments. Sora might complain since Roxas will pick him up bridal style and carry the brunette to his room. It really wasn't ideal for a conversation like this. Sora's place was too open for Roxas' liking, but Sora would be more comfortable here? Right?

He looks back at his hounds, who sit dutifully by the door as Roxas kicks it closed. That'll keep people out. Without another word he moves to the bed and drops Sora on it before pretty much flopping on top of the other.]

Idiot. Start talking. From the beginning.

[Sora can't escape since Roxas is using his body to keep him pinned down. Better start asap.]

[Pretty much as soon as Roxas picks him up Sora clings to him. In most other cases he would shout and fuss about being picked up like this but right now all he does is cling to Roxas like he's about to shatter if he doesn't hold on super tight. He can see the dogs trotting after them and he knows Roxas means business just from that.

As soon as the door is kicked closed and he's tossed like a ragdoll onto the bed and flopped on Sora goes right back to sticking himself as close to Roxas as he can, stuffing his face against Roxas' shoulder.

He sobs a bit more before he inhales and tries to pick out what to start with.]

... I think it was back at the start of May there was this new god named Loki around that took to bugging the heck out of me just because we're from the same pantheon. I know now it's because Loki is a trickster god but back then I didn't. He kept pulling tricks on me like putting music in my head or reading my mind. There was once he even made it feel like he was choking me even if he wasn't near me at all.

After a while... I think right after everything with Axel and Add, Rik- Brandon- he blighted me again so bad that he had eyes show up on his skin. I was still at Forrest's after my coma so I just took care of it. He'd been... stealing and lying to me a lot.

[Sora pauses here because it's difficult to bring up.]

I didn't want to tell you that because... You get along so well with your shinki. They love you so much and... I didn't- I still don't- know what to do about Brandon. He doesn't talk to me and he doesn't trust me so... How was I supposed to tell you something like that when you have three shinki that love you and I can't even get him to talk to me.

[It's an insecurity he's had for a while. He doesn't look at Roxas, just hugging him. He'll continue shortly because the tale doesn't end there.]

[Roxas nuzzles Sora's hair, doing his best not to answer. Just listen. This wasn't the time to ask questions about all of what he's hearing. About Loki, why Riku was suddenly Brandon, and where he could find that shinki to take him down a few pegs.

At this rate there was two people Roxas wants to get into a fight with. That Loki was at the top of that list right now.

He holds Sora as close as he can and waits for the story to go on.]

[He's thankful for the attention, it helps the crying slow down. He nods a bit as if he knows Roxas is encouraging him to continue.]

I thought things were going okay with him and me for a while because we talked a little after I made him come see me at Forrest's temple. But I guess he didn't feel the same way... One day he left and out of no where and I started getting blight. So I went looking for him.

When I found him he was with Loki- As his nora. I got so upset that I went after both of them and I tried using a drive form and I got antiform instead.

[Using that form hadn't happened to Sora in so long it had been as much of a surprised to him as it was to Loki and Riku Replica. Antisora that can teleport... Sora had been a devastating force.]

... I fought Loki. I did him in really bad and made him give Brandon back to me. I was just so upset and so confused why Brandon would do that. Am I... am I a bad god? I don't know. He still hasn't given me a reason why he did that. At this point I don't even know why he stays with me. I want to give him a chance and to believe in him but if he doesn't like me that much why does he stay? I don't want to force him to stay with me if he's that unhappy.

[Sora starts crying again, now for another reason. Feelings of inadequacy that he's not used to feeling.]

Then Kairi showed up and Koroko went missing and that's when I met Yurick.

Edited 2017-03-04 21:47 (UTC)

[The word antiform makes him tense as he has a flashback to the Shadow self of the other Sora. He hides his face to keep himself from looking at Sora, to let the other see that fear he feels so deeply. Even if he talked it down, knowing that Sora, any Sora, has something like that in his heart is too much.

Roxas forces himself to take some deep breaths before pulling away to look down at Sora. Seeing those tears hurts more than his fear of the Shadow. He kisses Sora's forehead, lingering there.]

Sora... it's not your fault. None of that is. I got lucky with my shinki. I don't know how... And I don't even know if they love me or even like me... I'm their god. They could just like me for that. [It's something that's been bothering him.] Ri... Brandon. He's... Let me talk to him. Maybe I can reason with him like I did with Riku.

[It's hard not to notice the way Roxas tenses so he looks up at Roxas just in time to get that kiss to his forehead. He shuts his eyes and enjoys the feeling of that warmth on his skin before he runs a hand up Roxas' arm gently.]

They love you. I can see it all the time. They trust you with everything and they trust you to take care of them. Don't doubt yourself for a second. Raichi and Senri are quiet, sure, but they look up to you. And Kairi loves you so much. Trust me, I know.

[He smiles because this is the part where Sora is so proud of Roxas. The things he's accomplished and the respect and love he sees from Roxas' shinki, it's all real and it's all because of how much Roxas cares.]

You can try talking to him. He picked that name out after I told him I wasn't sure I could handle calling him Riku anymore after the first time Riku left. Luckily, he's pretty nice about that. ... Try to take it easy on him. Please?

[Despite all the effort Sora has tried on Riku Replica and all the things he's done to Sora, Sora still is kind to his shinki. He'd always forgive him no matter what. Perhaps that's a fault, he's not to sure. But he wants to believe in his shinki.]

[Some things will remain a secret. Roxas' fear of the Shadow will be one of them. He'll hope that hr never has to see antiform in person.]

Sora... [He's insecure as well. His shinki would be happy with anyone that would take care of them. Raichi might be happier with a god who wasn't afraid of using him. Senri might benefit more from a god who has the patience to teach him to read. Kairi... well, she could belong to Sora and be super happy with him.] Right. If you say so.

[Roxas hides his face in Sora's shoulder.] I'll try... But he might be more stubborn than the guy he's based off of. At least Riku listens to reason.

[The way Roxas is cuddling him makes Sora wonder what's going through his head. Did Roxas have the same insecurities as he did? He nuzzles Roxas and squeezes him with some reassurance.]

I know so. If... you need help with them I can try too. Since you're always helping me.

[Who says they couldn't both try to be good to each other's shinki? They're already like a mixed up found family. Sora cares about Roxas' shinki's wellness and happiness too, just as much as his own.]

He's... definitely more stubborn. [Sora replies, his voice getting small. Dealing with Riku is a cakewalk for Sora in comparison to his shinki. But those comparisons get him thinking about Riku again and he blinks back some pesky tears.]

Roxas- If Riku comes back again someday I hope he doesn't give you so much trouble. But I guess... things will always be this way.

[So many insecurities he might have a list to rival or overtake Sora's. Koriko did and still at times does ruin him. He still wouldn't trade that time for anything because then he couldn't be with Sora like this.]

... Yeah, I don't think you can help with their vessel form problems... [Especially Raichi. That's between god and shinki.] And you're helping already. I was teaching Senri how to use a phone, and he wanted me to put your contact info in it.

[Roxas grumbles softly.] .... I was being nice to him. It's not my fault he overreacted to everything. Riku's your best friend, but he was acting like a little kid when I was trying to help him!

[Then they'll just have to try and balance each other out. Where Roxas would feel insecure Sora will try and support him. Despite what Roxas says Sora already thinks he'll try to help where he can.]

Still, let me know if I can help more than that.

[This is the part he quickly cuddles Roxas with all he's got, reaching up to tug gently at Roxas' hair too.] I know you were being nice! That's why I'm saying if he comes back again, I'll be the one to kick some sense into his dumb head, okay?

[He won't cry like he did last time.]

[There's a long while of silence before Roxas huffs, nipping Sora's ear gently out of irritation.]

Only if you stop keeping things from me. Else I won't let you help me.

[Cuddling is fine, but the tug makes him squeak and swallow hard. Don't do that, Sora!] I'm not letting you do it alone again! We'll both talk to him at the same time. So if he makes you cry, I don't have to hunt him down.

[Sora gasps and winces and pulls back because that tickles a lot. He pouts deeply but nods. Forgive him?]

I won't anymore, I promise. I'm sorry, Roxas. I was being dumb and I wasn't thinking enough...

[Yeah, he's gonna keep playing with Roxas' hair, though. Roxas does have a good idea there. If they fight Sora can be right there to smack them both over the head!]

Okay, we'll do that together. Next time. When he comes back.

[Forgiven. Roxas nuzzles Sora, humming softly.]

Good. Stop worrying about worrying me. I'm gonna find out anyways. It's not like Kairi keeps things from me when you're involved.

[Sighing softly, he shifts around, laying his head on Sora's chest. Better to have his hair played with this way.]

Right. When. I'll keep my mouth shut till you show up.

[Fungah foiled again by his best friend!? Kidding, he's sincere about promising not to keep things to himself anymore. He'll still never like worrying Roxas, though.]

If you ever run into Loki he'll try and read your mind. But it's easy enough to drive him off if you sing in your head.

[That's what he did. Worked like a charm.

Liking Roxas half laying on him, he goes about his business tousling Roxas' hair gently with his fingers.]

Thanks. Do you... Get to talk to Axel a lot?

If he read your mind, then wouldn't he know about me? He might just avoid me.

[Which seems like the thing a bad guy might or might not do? Roxas still can't figure out how bad guys here work.

He's going to fight sleep like crazy because this is nice. The mention of Axel jolts him a bit.]

Not really. With how busy Kairi likes to keep me and all the friends we've got here, I've only seen him a few times. Chikusa said he's been busy.

[Crap, Sora never thought about that. He really doesn't know how much Loki knows about him or not. So he furrows his eyebrows. Loki better not dare to come after his loved ones!!]

He hasn't been around for a while since the last time I saw him. Maybe he is. I tried to ask Joshua other tricks to block out mind readers but he didn't have much either. So the singing thing is all I got.

[Axel is busy? Busy with what?? What kind of excuse is that? Sora frowns.]

No one's too busy to see important people.

[Of course Sora hadn't. Roxas thinks ahead while Sora is more in the moment. How is he like Sora again?]

Do you know what he at least looks like?

[He moves his head to look at Sora.]

If he's like me, we get a ton of requests. I don't know what it's like for Norse gods, but there's still a ton of people who believe in the Greek gods. I always have a lot of requests, and Kairi keeps wanting to go on prayers.

[Sora is a little airheaded and oblivious. But that's what he's got Roxas for, right!]

Super tall and lanky and gangly. Orange hair and wears a dumb head band and sunglasses on his head. Kind of looks like he's right out of a really old rock band.

[He's not even joking, that's incredibly accurate.

Sora is still making a face, though.]

I don't think Norse gods are nearly as busy as Greek ones but I still don't think that should keep him so super busy. We should make him come over or something. [Huff. He gets Kairi keeping Roxas busy though, she's a busybody like Sora.]

... Haven't met anyone like that.

[Having met a few orange haired people, none of them fit that description.

Roxas nods with a soft smile. He really does miss Axel even if he's in the same world.]

I'll ask Chikusa to bring him over. I know he wants to learn to cook more things.

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