rev13_3: (look: bowed head)
Farfarello ([personal profile] rev13_3) wrote in [community profile] thenearshore2017-05-12 08:28 am

From my rotting body flowers shall grow

Who: Tot and Jay
What: Jay's got a confession to make
When: July 15th or thereabouts. Time is... /vague handwavey motion
Where: Antheia's temple
Warnings: (Potentially graphic) discussion of murders



[ Jay is not a man who dithers. When there's a task before him, he puts his shoulder to it and doesn't stop until the task is completed. Whether it's a divine appointment like answering a prayer, or something as simple as taking out the trash, he doesn't hesitate to act.

This time, however, he's hesitating.

On the one hand, he tells himself, Tot is his god (and the god of all beauty and goodness, praise her), and the arrogance that he might conceal a thing from her is unforgivable. It is his duty, both as her most humble of servants and as her shinki, to confess to her all his actions, so that she may continue unencumbered by any possibility of blight-pain. And, too, isn't it probable that she already knows of his deeds? All-Knowing isn't one of her titles, but he wouldn't be the least bit surprised to discover that she's been aware of what he's been doing since he was brought here and placed at her feet.

But on the other hand... if she doesn't know what he's doing, then doesn't he owe it to her to permit her to maintain that plausible deniability? There are other gods here with greater strength, with magical abilities that his beautiful, gentle god doesn't possess. If they suspected that she was colluding with him in the deaths he's caused, then they might act foolishly. The very thought makes him see red.

But in that case, isn't it better that she knows everything, so that she can avoid situations where she might be questioned about his actions? Surely it's preferable for her to make that choice herself -- who is he to decide what knowledge the Almighty should possess?

...But what if she disapproves? It's this last fear, more than any other, that prevents him going immediately from the conversation on the park bench with Yukine to her side. What if she's angry that he's been killing the other gods and shinki? What if she's sad about it?

That way lies guilt, he chides himself, repenting for hours on his knees in the scorching sunlight, his shoulders and back burning to a crisp as he tenderly weeds and prunes the largest flower bed at the front of the temple. It's not his place to assume how she'll respond. He'll go to her, he finally decides, and confess fully, and bear her judgment gratefully as he should.

Decision made, he pauses only long enough to wash the blessed soil from his hands and conceal his damaged skin with a shirt before seeking her out. He kneels at her feet, head bowed, and waits for her to acknowledge him.
]

My lady. I wish to confess my sins.
papas_bunnydoll: (hmmm)

[personal profile] papas_bunnydoll 2017-05-13 01:19 am (UTC)(link)
[If she'd bothered connecting one and one together, Tot might have realized sooner that something was bothering Jay. There'd been a funny buzzy feeling she'd been dealing with for a while now that she couldn't quite place. Other gods had talked about how they could feel what their shinki felt when it was really strong. The only thing she'd ever felt from either of hers was when she'd answered that prayer with Ken. Then again, they were both pretty excited the whole time so it may have just been her.

So, Tot did what she did when she didn't fully understand something - she sat down and talked it over with Rabbi-chan. He wasn't very helpful though. She reached the conclusion that she was going to have to find someone else to talk things over with when Jay came in.

Intense had been one way she'd described him once, and that opinion hadn't changed. At least she didn't giggle quite as much as she originally did when he talked to her. Since it was obviously something important, she sat up straight, put Rabbi-chan on her lap, and looked down at him.
]

Tot's not sure why, but okay.