thenearshore | May Training

Entry tags:

May Training

Who: Everyone
What: Information and Training
When: July 15
Where: Bishamon's temple, the Far Shore
Summary: Training and informational sessions for newly arrived gods (although there's none this time) and shinki

The product of many meetings and recommendations, at last it has taken shape. On this day, in anticipation of the new arrivals who appear in a recognized pattern, Heaven has partnered with the new gods and shinki to organize a very helpful informational reception.

The shinki arriving at heaven's meeting hall are, should they allow it, guided kindly towards Bishamon's temple. And in that vast complex they are brought to a traditional-style dojo.
Here the newly arrived gods are gathered, so finding their partner is more simple. The gods and shinki are free to take their time during this day to learn about the aspects of their new life from Amaterasu's shinki, or from the many veteran new god and shinki volunteers.

God Training

prayers

Shinki Training

informational pamphlets

borderline

Physical Training

Rest and Refreshments

In Summary:

Get all the information you can handle
Veteran new gods and shinki are welcome to volunteer showing the ropes
Get in some training
Don't get dehydrated
Spectate if you want
Have fun~

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[It's kind of tempting to point out that the miming isn't really working, but Ren seems to figure it out before Shun gets there. They had seen each other's decks once before, but Shun didn't linger too long on it, given he'd had plenty else on his mind at the time. So he takes the card with a careful hand and a somewhat curious look.]

Is an avatar like what we'd call an ace monster? [Last time they'd talked about this, it had been more in terms of actual rules and quirks rather than terminology differences. It certainly sounds more like this is actually meant to be representative of the player much more than it is in Duel Monsters...which actually raises several questions about what Ren had once said about connecting to that other planet with his powers.

After a few moments of committing the image to memory, Shun offers the card back.] A sword like that definitely looks like one you'd need existing swordfighting skill to wield, anyway.

[That is a good question with kind of a complicated answer, probably, not the least because he has to decide what Shun might mean by ace monster.]

It can be, but they aren't always the same. Your avatar is the unit you feel closest to, kind of like a soulmate. But it can be anything, and if it's something other than a grade three, you probably have something else that's the ace.

[Some time near the end of that explanation, his attention drifted over to the swords again, and he's still looking them over as he goes on.]

Kai's avatar is a grade three so it's usually his ace too, but mine and Aichi-kun's are grade twos, so our aces are usually something else.

Edited 2017-05-23 08:57 (UTC)

[It's kind of complicated on Shun's end too, because that's actually something they don't really have in Duel Monsters, and it seems odd that closeness to a unit would come up that often. Of course there's a feeling of it between most players and their monsters regardless, but it feels a little different to what's being stated here.]

I don't think we have anything like that in Duel Monsters. Obviously people have bonds with their monsters, but we don't have a name for it. And an ace doesn't have to be your strongest monster. I'd consider Rise Falcon my ace, and it has the lowest Rank of all my Falcon monsters.

[His actual strongest monster has a good few Ranks on that one...not that he's had a reason to pull it out in a duel in a very long time.]

With a name like "avatar", I figured it had something to do with representing the player anyway. A soulmate is close enough.

[Ren shrugs and smiles a little more fondly as he runs his fingers over the hilt of one of the swords.]

It isn't very common in Vanguard either. Most of the people I know don't really have any one card they feel that connected to.

[He's pretty sure he knows which one he's going to pick now, so he finally looks back over to see if he can have his card back--oh, Shun's holding it out and probably has been for a little while now. Oops. Ren reaches out to take the card back before Shun gets too tired of holding it.

As soon as his fingers close around it, his eyes flash pink and for a second, they seem to be standing in a completely different field and Ren has quite a bit more armor than usual. Then he finishes tugging the card out of Shun's grasp and the image fades, leaving Ren looking very startled. He very quickly busies himself with putting his card back away again.]

--It would be pretty difficult to have an ace that isn't one of your strongest units in Vanguard. Unless we're thinking of strength differently too.

[Yes, let's just...focus on the last topic of conversation and not that lapse in his will to control his powers. Good plan.]

Edited 2017-05-23 11:24 (UTC)

[That sounds much more like the kind of thing Shun's familiar with. Duelists tend to value their entire deck equally, even if they have one particular monster they use more than others, and he inclines his head in understanding of the sentiment.

That's about all he has time to do, though, because of what happens as soon as Ren makes contact with the card in his hand. The sudden flash of pink in Ren's eyes makes Shun's gaze dart up to meet them immediately, eyes narrowing in some mix of wariness and concern - but it also means he's looking Ren full in the face when the change occurs. Even if he wasn't so good at picking things up in his peripheral vision, the similarity to the card in both their hands would be impossible to miss, and his eyes widen a little as he lets the card go in his moment of surprise.

As soon as it leaves contact, the image vanishes, and Shun is left with the remnants of shock still lingering on his face...shock that's definitely not entirely negative, or even mostly negative. If it wasn't for the fact that it was him, one might confuse him for being momentarily awestruck.

Of course, it only takes him a moment to put together what that must have been, why Ren looked so startled, and why he's so obviously avoiding the subject. His momentary lapse in expression vanishes in favour of something more serious, though no less concerned than he'd looked at the outset.]

An ace can just be a card you rely on a lot, whether it's a key part of your strategy or your main path to whatever stronger option works best for that duel. [But that's all the concession Ren's getting on his attempt to avoid the subject, and after a moment's pause, he continues in a tone soft enough that there's no chance anyone but the two of them would hear it.] This is what you meant when you talked about that power connecting you to the other planet, isn't it?

[He doesn't want to push too hard, especially given what Ren's told him about that power before, but he doesn't feel like completely ignoring the occurrence is going to help anyone here, least of all Ren.]

[Frankly, that almost awed expression just makes it worse. It makes him want even more to share this with Shun and see just how awed he can get. It makes it feel like it's not a bad thing that he slipped. Ren determinedly keeps his eyes trained on anything else as he tucks his cards away.

Until Shun continues on in that more secretive tone, and then Ren finally turns his head back toward him, although his gaze is still on something other than Shun's face, like his shoulder. He would have been a lot happier if Shun had just let him ignore it...probably.]

Sometimes. It doesn't usually mean taking on the form of one of my units outside a fight, but I was already trying to get into his mindset a little...

[Or maybe he was feeling enough like he did during Vanguard fights to trick it when he touched his card. Or it was just that stupid half-wish for Shun to see how cool he could be. Maybe it was all of the above.

Ren finally chances a glance up at Shun's face. Shun had thought so highly of his determination not to use that power at all. If he's disappointed now, Ren doesn't really want to see it but he kind of wants to know anyway.]

I'm sorry. I must have been getting into it more than I thought. I didn't mean to do that.

[The expression on Shun's face when Ren finally looks up isn't disappointment - it's still concern more than anything, and the rest is deeper thought. If the power can break through like that with so little prompting, Shun's first suggestion would be to be prepared for it, but that would require working with it, and Shun's pretty sure he knows the kind of reaction a suggestion like that would get.

As if to make sure Ren doesn't immediately look away again, or perhaps as a reassurance, Shun reaches up with his free hand to cup his jaw.]

Save your apologies. I'm more concerned about you right now. [And even if he's not going to outright make any suggestions, he...has to word his immediate thought in some capacity. It's said as gravely as ever, accentuating the fact that he's handling this with all the seriousness his information on it has led him to believe it requires.] ...Controlling something and not using it aren't always the same thing. I know you're afraid. I'll be there whenever you need it, whatever happens.

[More than anything, it's an offer of support, whether Ren chooses to consider his words or not. But looking at this, it's hard not to think the power is just controlling him in a different way now.]

[Holding his head in place was a good idea, because otherwise, Ren definitely would have turned away at the mention of being afraid at least and gone on trying to direct this conversation at the grass or the swords or the tree past Shun's shoulder. As it is, he drops his gaze to Shun's throat instead, looking very much like he'd like to deny that he's afraid but can't because they both know that's not true.

After a moment, Ren reaches up to grab onto the front of Shun's jacket, as a way of accepting his offer of support. And maybe to steel himself a little for what he feels like he has to say. He's scolded Shun for keeping things to himself, and he'd feel guilty if he did the same thing now.]

...Controlling it isn't the problem. I know more about how to use it than anyone, except the guy who gave it to us. It's wanting to control it...

[Because this definitely didn't happen with only a little prompting. If it were that easy, he would have fallen all the way back into during that one fight with Kai, instead of only skimming the surface of it. No, this was the result of a few weeks worth of missing his friends more than ever, and then that conversation with Johan...his control over it has definitely been more fragile since then.]

[For once, Shun doesn't even twitch at the contact, despite their situation. His attention is fully on trying to work through this problem, because it definitely doesn't seem like one that's just going to go away if it gets ignored like Ren was trying to do. It means thinking through what he remembers being told of Ren's past experiences with this for possible reasoning or questions to raise, because while he feels Ren has every reason to be afraid, he's also not sure that's helping him at all.

One thing he does remember, though, is Ren's remark on it being a connection to home. Shun's been here long enough himself, and Ren had been here over a month when they first met, days after Shun arrived. It's not surprising the allure of a connection home would be getting stronger, and it only brings more concern into his expression even if Ren isn't really looking at him right now.]

If you want to talk to me about it in private sometime, I'll listen. You said it being a connection to home made it hard the last time we talked about it. [It doesn't seem like something that should be discussed at a very public training session, though, so he'll allow it to be left for now. There is one other thing from that same conversation he wants to raise, though, and he does after another moment or two of pause.]

You said back then you'd used it here once before. Why, and what for? [From what Shun had heard, he'd used it in his world to pursue power. Here, that doesn't really feel like an option, nor is it something Shun imagines he could rely on so exclusively, so the question of what his reasoning is now could maybe help shed some light on things.]

[Ren's lips twitch in a tiny smile and he nods as best he can with Shun still holding his head in place.]

I don't really want to talk about it at all... [But talking about it in private would be infinitely more preferable to talking about it here. And he can't see Shun letting him get away with not talking about it again, just like he wouldn't let Shun get away with not sleeping again.

Why he did it the first time is something he doesn't mind talking about quite as much, since there had been more to it than just being homesick, although thinking about it does make him let out a very breathy sigh.]

Hibari had gotten himself injured enough that he needed to stay in bed and he couldn't stand having to just stay put for a while. [Not unlike how Shun also doesn't seem to be able to rest for a few days when he needs it.] He kept trying to leave, even though he could barely walk, and he just kept feeling more angry and frustrated...

He was miserable, and I was miserable, and by that time, I was feeling desperate to figure out some way I could appeal to him, even a little bit. The only thing I could think of that might help was to take him somewhere he could fight and work off some of his excess energy without hurting himself even more. And he actually liked it a lot. I think if Eric hadn't shown up right after that, we could have come to some kind of understanding.

[He doesn't regret that Eric did show up, even at that very fragile time. He's been much happier with Eric as his shinki than he had been for most of those first couple of months with Hibari. But it was still a little frustrating to think about--mostly that Hibari had flipped out so much at having to share so soon after he thought they'd made some progress.]

I didn't think you would, but avoiding it is going to be worse in the long run. [Not wanting to talk about an unpleasant and painful subject is more than familiar to Shun given his history, but for something like this, he feels it's the better idea than keeping a lid on it any further. Especially if it's something that's creating more problems the longer it lies.

Shun listens silently to the explanation, even if his mouth does edge into its usual grimace at the mention of Hibari. He may still hate the guy despite never having met him, but he can understand how frustrating being in that position must have been for both of them, and he nods slightly in acceptance of the reasoning.]

So you used it to help someone else that time, even if it was a little bit for yourself as well. And you managed to keep your distance from it. [It's the kind of answer he was hoping he'd hear, actually, because it brings him to another thought on why that might have been the case.] Does the intent you use the power with have anything to do with how dangerous it is?

[Largely in terms of it being dangerous to Ren's current personality, though it could probably apply to the people who get caught up in it as well.]

[Ren sighs a little, but with a somewhat fond smile. That's the kind of thing Tetsu would say too, and he's not wrong. It's just...hard. It's so much easier to avoid it and pretend nothing is wrong.

Of course, Shun manages to put a positive spin on using it that time. It's pretty obvious positive spin, but it still makes him feel a little better and helps push back some of the self-loathing that's threatening to come bubbling up for being so tempted by that power this time, when it isn't to help anyone but himself...

Nope. He's going to make himself think about that question. This isn't the time to fall into that.]

I don't know. I don't think so...I used it outside of fights plenty of times, just to spend time there. I didn't get any less awful when I did that. And later...

[Ren bites his lip before going on. Frankly, it's what happened later that bothers him the most, because he isn't sure what to think of it other than being disappointed in himself and how tempting it makes it.]

Later, when Takuto gave it back to us and I didn't remember ever having it, I used it as much as before but it didn't seem to affect me at all. I guess I was thinking more about having fun and helping Cray than needing power, though...

[Well, it doesn't surprise Shun that using it differently didn't make him less awful when he'd already been there, but he notes the information anyway. It's definitely new to hear that Ren had forgotten ever having it, though - he remembers a passing mention of forgetting, but Ren had cut himself off before he got that far, so this is the first Shun's really hearing of it.

He looks rather thoughtful at that himself, because if that's the case, then in theory it can't just be using the power that's the issue. They don't have clear enough information on it to know that it would be safe using it now, but it definitely gives Shun a broader idea of it than he'd had just knowing of the damage it had done to Ren while using it before, and considering what ignoring it seems to be doing, it opens the potential that not ignoring it may not necessarily be a bad thing.]

Then maybe it is connected in some way, even if better intent didn't bring you back when you'd already succumbed to it. [It's Ren's power, and one Shun will give him as much time as he might need to think about if he chooses to do so instead of ignoring it again, but Shun feels he should at least say one last thing, and he moves to tilt his chin back up a bit to ensure he's actually looking at Shun's face, which has a somewhat soft and very genuine sort of expression.]

I don't know if you trust yourself to think more deeply about it. But I trust you to. [For all the problem is drawing out his darkness, in Shun's experience, he's possibly the most aware person Shun's ever met when it comes to the presence and risks of that. Despite his request to Shun when they started training more intensely, he's never gotten the impression of a backslide in personality out of him. It's probably telling enough that the admission of trust comes so easily still, with the kind of person Shun is about that sort of thing.]

[He really doesn't want to look Shun in the face. In fact, it probably makes it clear just how afraid Ren really is and how much he wants to just brush this under a rug, that he wants to avoid looking Shun in the face this much. Or maybe, how frustrated he is with not only himself, but also his fear of himself. He doesn't like being afraid. This is one of the few things he even is afraid of, and it's the only one he can't just charge into and fix through sheer determination and recklessness, because he knows Aichi was right and that nasty person he used to be was and is and always will be a part of him...and he hates it. And he doesn't want to look Shun in the face.

But he doesn't really have a choice unless he just closes his eyes. Shun probably wouldn't force him to open them...but closing them kind of feels like losing somehow, and he's feeling very tired of that.

The expression on Shun's face feels lot like losing too, of the losing the will to fight variety. If he hadn't already figured out how much shun means to him, that would have done it. He doesn't feel like he deserves it at all right now, or that trust because he really doesn't trust himself, but that Shun is still willing to give it to him...

Ren reaches up to pry Shun's hand from his chin, and then jerks forward to wrap his arms around Shun's shoulders and bury his face in Shun's neck.

Maybe it would be better if he talked about this--about how he's been feeling and how long he's been feeling it and how he actually thinks about it quite a lot thanks, and maybe even how he even got his power back since he hasn't actually told Shun about that yet. At least then they'd both be on the same page, and maybe shun could see something he was missing. He doesn't want to talk about it right now in this very public area, but...maybe he could sometime later.]

...I'd trust myself more if you were with me.

Edited 2017-05-27 10:02 (UTC)

[The sheer determination with which Ren is avoiding Shun's gaze tells him just about all he needs to know on the subject of how afraid he is. It's certainly something he'd considered before this conversation - Ren wouldn't have felt the need to ask to be kept an eye on before allowing himself to get serious if he hadn't been afraid of himself to some degree - but this particularly accentuates the fact. It's not a difficult thing for Shun to conceptualise, that fear or even expectation of going off the rails again, because he's felt it himself occasionally since he realised he even went off them in the first place, and that only makes him want to do more to help.

He doesn't resist when Ren moves his hand from his chin, but the sudden hug afterwards makes him draw a sharp breath, half from the resistance of reflexes and half because Ren is rarely this direct about his negative feelings - honestly, Shun would argue he's almost as bad as him when it comes to asking for help, just in a different way. His expression hardens after a moment into something resolved and determined, and though they're in a public enough area for him to be reserved, he rests his hands at the back of Ren's hips in what he hopes is a close enough semblance of a returned hug. Maybe neither of them can really trust themselves, but Ren's done enough to try and change Shun's mind on that matter that it only feels right to return the favour. Turning his head a little to where Ren's face is buried, when he answers, his words are quiet, but unquestionably firm and intent.

For once in his life - or what feels like it, given his recent record - he's going to succeed in doing something good for someone he cares about.]

I will be.

[Ren tightens his hug a bit and nods against Shun's neck. Just knowing that Shun will be there--that he is there, right now--really does make him feel better and much less like he has to worry about falling back into old habits. Shun isn't going to let him do that, and he wouldn't even if Ren hadn't asked him to keep an eye on him.]

Then...I'll talk about it, if you ask me about it later.

[He's still hoping that "later" is going to be days or weeks from now and not, oh, sometime this evening, but at least he said he'd do it and he's not going to go back on that no matter when it happens. Maybe it was also a little unfair to leave it to Shun to bring it up again...but at least it's out there and maybe that won't be how it happens anyway.

Ren loosens his hug again and pulls back just enough to turn his head more towards Shun's face rather than the crook of his neck, but he doesn't quite pull away completely yet. He's surprisingly comfortable standing like this and it's just...nice, being this close to him.]

Do you still want to spar?

[Shun just nods himself at that, his grip tightening almost imperceptibly just after Ren's does, his position shifting the tiniest bit into something almost protective. He's not interested in letting anyone else he cares for get hurt, whatever the circumstances, and he knows what it's like to want to delay talking about something. As long as it gets talked about, that's enough.

When Ren pulls back that little bit, Shun turns his head as well to make it a bit easier on him for trying to look him in the face. Though he's less familiar with being this close to people, it's almost a relief to be close to Ren at times, when his instinctive reactions die down a little more easily around him, so he doesn't break contact either.]

I was about to ask you the same question. If you're still feeling up to it, obviously I will.

[This conversation had much more of an effect on Ren than it did on him, so Shun really thinks he's the one who needs asking right now.]

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May Training

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