thenearshore | Open and Closed

Entry tags:

Open and Closed

Who: Yamazaki Ayumu, Cho Hakkai, and you!
When: late July 17th to July 19th
Where: Various spots on both the Near and Far Shores
What: Wardrobe problems, borderline practice in the park, and shopping.
Warnings: Possible mentions of violence, torture, and rape in the Hakkai thread if it comes up.

July 17th, night, the Far Shore (Open)

[The first few days of Ayumu's afterlife have been decidedly bizarre. How she'd gone from her present self to an ill-mannered child and later a cocky teenager is beyond her understanding but she's grateful when that final burst of energy comes, finally turning her back into herself even it did strand her on the Near Shore far away from her god's temple with nothing but a child's yukata and sandals to wear.

Ayumu's nothing if not resourceful, however, and the dilemma was solved easily enough with a little convenience store theft. And that's how Ayumu can be found strolling through the Far Shore back to her god's temple wearing a neon-orange glow in the dark rain poncho, a pink child's yukata tied around her waist in a makeshift skirt, and carrying a tiny pair of sandals in her hand. It's hard to tell for sure but she appears to be clutching a large wad of bloody paper towels in her right hand.

Regardless of her present attire, Ayumu makes eye contact with anyone she happens to pass by, offering them a cordial smile and cheerful greeting.]

Good evening! Nice night, isn't it?

July 18th, daytime, the Far Shore, the park (Open)

[Given Ayumu's current lack of wardrobe, her clothing options are pretty much limited to whatever she can find in her god's closet. His pants are a lost cause, being far too big to fit her small frame. However, the shirts are salvagable so she helps herself to one of those. He's taller than her, enough so that it hangs down low enough on her thighs to be somewhat decent enough to go outside in. But then again, Ayumu's definition of decent tends to be downright scandalous by modern standards, perhaps made worse by the fact all she's wearing at the moment is a shirt clearly recognizable as Hakkai's.

Currently, she's sitting on a bench, knees pressed together rather primly while she reads the information pamphlet given to her on her first day. Mentally, she's in a much better state to comprehend and absorb the information today so she's taking advantage of that with a little private practice on her borderlines. It's been a little rough going so when she finally gets it right, Ayumu jumps up from bench with a little cheer and fistpump at her victory.]

Yes! I did it!

[She's all smiles for the time being. Ayumu knows she still has a long way to go before she'll be able to consider herself a good shinki but it's a start. Dismissing it is much easier after which Ayumu celebrates by merrily scooping up a rather startled, floppy-eared puppy and holding it aloft.]

And you, my dear, are witness to my triumph.

[Ayumu drops a light kiss on its nose, apparently oblivious to any other witnesses to her antics.]

July 19th, morning, the Near Shore, shopping district (Closed to Hakkai)

[And at least, it's time for another victory to celebrate - clothing of her own! It'd taken patience and a careful strategy of wearing nothing but Hakkai's shirts for him to prioritize a shopping trip over work but it'd succeeded. Even without the bond between god and shinki, Ayumu's clearly in good spirits as she looks peers through the windows at the different clothing on display. Most of the styles look odd to her as they had when she'd been wandering the Near Shore as a child but clothes are clothes at this point and Ayumu will literally wear anything that she hasn't had to steal or improvise on her own.]

There's so many different styles, Hakkai-sama. I'm not sure what to pick. What do you think would look good on me?

[She turns to him for an answer, still barefoot and wearing another one of his shirts. Even though it's morning, it's still warm enough that she isn't cold.]

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[He knows where to start, at least, which is more than she can say for herself. Ayumu smiles a bit softly, an echo of the one she often wore as a goddess. She truly is very grateful for his help; it's a strong, steady thrum through their bond.]

This is a good start, though. I can make whatever adjustments I need to on my own. I seem to learn well by watching others.

[It's an oddly comfortable activity in her mind, just learning through the demonstrations of others, and replicating what she sees. Maybe it's a talent? Ayumu doesn't know for sure, herself. She just needed help setting a baseline to get started.]

But I think these will suffice for now. Thanks, Hakkai-sama.

[Even if he couldn't feel it, he'd guess from the softer note in her smile that she was grateful. He hands over the blouses, glancing away. Shoes next, wasn't it? There are a few here, although he can't guess her size.

It's not just modern women's fashion he's not very good at. He doesn't think he's very good at this: being responsible for someone who's almost a stranger. Being in a close relationship with someone who's almost a stranger -- and he can't imagine anything closer than feeling every twinge of emotion like sandpaper on his skin, whether she wants it or not.

He can't be Elsa. He doesn't, frankly, want to be Gojyo, regardless of his own feelings there.

He nods towards the shoe racks.]

You should pick out a few pairs of shoes, too.

Ayumu....

[He hesitates.

Communication is important, isn't it? Particularly when he has no idea what he's doing, except that he knows he's not very good at it. He exhales.]

... What is it that you want from me? As your god?

[It's on the tip of her tongue to say she doesn't understand, to ask why what she wants should be a consideration. Isn't that how these things are supposed to go? He's the commander; she's the commanded. It's simple enough in her mind. But then she remembers what he said when they'd first met, how he'd told her he wasn't used to heading a household. She's said she'd help him that day, hadn't she?

So Ayumu's quiet for a bit, mulling over the question carefully, while she browses the shoe racks. Some of these are really funny looking with long, thin heels and straps that look more like some kind of modern torture device designed to make the wearer fall and break their neck.]

I haven't thought about much beyond survival the past few days or learning my own duties. As I've said before, there is much I have to learn myself to perform them well.

[The information pamphlet and input of the other shinki have been helpful guidance so far. But she's supposed to help guide him, too, isn't she? So she need to think about this more. She's quiet for a bit longer before finally answering.]

I want you to learn your role as it is written. Study it thoroughly. Be absolutely certain you understand it completely. Study the heavens as much as you can, how they do things, why they do things, learn it as intimately as if you stood with them. If you still wish to rebel, you'll have a firm grasp of what it is you're rebelling against and the most effective way to do so.

[Oh, those are some nice sandals. Ayumu stops her train of thought to pick them up and slip one of them on her feet. Drat. A little too big. She puts it back and looks for smaller pair.]

As a god, I want you to be competent, knowledgable, and wise. And please share that information with me. I'll have more guidance for you then.

Edited 2017-05-30 06:00 (UTC)

[Rebelling isn't exactly how he'd put it, but then, he hadn't meant to talk business, just then. That is the easy part. The part he really needs guidance on is the personal.

She'd given him a little guidance on that, too, though, hadn't she? Share that information with me. So, she doesn't want secrets.

He picks up the sandals she's discarded, checking the size.

That'll be hard to adjust to.]

Try one of the ones marked 22?

[He sets the sandal back down.]

I'm afraid I have some disagreements with my role as written, but I'll do my best to meet your expectations, Ayumu. And if there's anything you need from me, or anything you'd like me to do differently--

Open communication between gods and shinki is very important.

[He casts her a glance.] Just tell me what it is. I may not always agree with you, but we can talk it over.

'Kay. Thanks.

[Ayumu scans the shelf for the suggested size, while she mulls things over. She's not in the best frame of mind for this sort of discussion, not when she's only just now getting a pair of actual shoes. But he's her god and she's supposed to listen to her god so she's going to give it a try, at least.]

People don't always have to agree to get things done. They don't even have to like each other most of the time. They just need to remember the primary objective at stake and be willing to work toward it.

[Oh, there's some 22s. Maybe they'll fit better. She takes them and slips them on her foot. Still a little big but better. Ayumu puts them back and looks for something just a bit smaller.]

If you find my work unsatisfactory in some way, please let me know and I'll try to do better.

Of course.

[Ah, those don't fit either? Her feet are very small. She seems to have it under control, though, so he remains silent as she keeps searching the shelves.

She's right that there's no reason for them to need to be close to get things done. They don't have to be friends at all: they just have to share a goal. He'd had a god he felt that way about, too.

He may not like comparing himself to that god, but if he has to--

He exhales, almost a sigh, and crosses his arms. It's unsettling to think of not being close to someone whose emotions he feels. He knows too well how unsettling it must be to her, to have her feelings shared with someone she barely knows and doesn't necessarily expect to like. It's an intimacy that calls for profound trust.

She is, he concludes ruefully, much tougher than he is. And he doesn't really know what to say to that, other than to wait quietly until she's done finding a pair of shoes that fit.]

[Tough? Had Ayumu known about her own past, could think deeply with any clarity, or been in any shape to make any heartfelt confessions, she would laughed at the idea. She's weak, soft, shy, uncomfortable with emotions and overtures, and doesn't even know her own mind. Perhaps she would have even cried herself to sleep.

Her final moments had been horrifying and painful, full of so much emotion and pain, her ability to think reduced to a simple refusal to tell her captors anything, a scattered mantra to protect the loved ones she knew she'd leave behind. Her memories might be gone but the damage had been done; Masuya's men hadn't gotten the information they sought but they'd still broken her. In life, her sense of self had never been very strong, molded almost entirely by her occupation and the different roles she had to play. Early on, she'd realized that Yamazaki Ayumu wasn't strong enough to bear the burdens she must so she'd remade herself into someone who could.

And in the end, that mask broke into pieces under the torture she'd endured, leaving the weary soul beneath it bare, and some remnant shards of self-protection in place.

Ayumu tries on different pairs of sandals in silence. One size down turns out to be the right size and now she's moved on to different styles, trying to think of which ones will be practical or supportive in which situation. After a while, she finally speaks. Maybe it's some of her natural perceptiveness coming to light, maybe it's women's intuition, or maybe it's just compelling instinct. She doesn't know. Only that she feels the need to say something.]

I think I need time, Hakkai-sama. Maybe. I only just arrived and everything is strange to me, even me. If it helps, don't think of me as a woman, think of me as a child. An infant. When it comes to this world, this life, I feel like that's what I am.

[She doesn't look at him; making such an admission as that is deeply embarassing for her but perhaps it's only fair considering how she'd embarrassed him. Maybe fairness needs to be part of a partnership, too? This, too, feels very new and strange to think about.]

[Hakkai's gaze snaps to her the moment she begins to speak, but she's not meeting his eyes, and, after a moment, he looks away too. There can't be much distance between a god and his only shinki. What privacy she can have -- slight as it is -- he wants to be sure he offers.

But he shakes his head, still, and keeps his voice quiet as he replies.]

You're not a child, Ayumu.

[Maybe parts of her life will come back to her, and maybe they won't. He hadn't remembered any of his last fight, even when he'd remembered so much. He had remembered nothing after asking Gojyo to stop him if he came close to losing control. He can only hope, even if she remembers, that her death remains equally a mystery to her.

But even before he'd remembered anything... his arms are still crossed, his posture relaxed, but he's very still as he looks at the shoe racks in front of them.]

When I was a shinki, I used to think, "this is a new life, and whatever came before is dead." That's true, as far as it goes, but it's a new life you're born into as an adult.

I know it's difficult. Trust yourself -- you're not as strange to yourself as you think.

[He casts her a glance, at last, breaking his stillness.]

In any case, I won't push, but when you do need something from me, tell me. [The corner of his mouth quirks wryly.] I'm selfish, so I may not notice if you don't.

[There's a brief surge of resignation and frustration; where it comes from is a mystery yet something about it feels almost familiar.]

Fine. I'll try.

[Was it this hard to simply express herself clearly when she'd been alive? Its like she keeps saying words and thinks they're coming out right only to discover their meaning keeps getting lost somehow. It's aggravating. And discouraging.

At least, she knows better now than to lash out and make a scene, even if most people just pass them by unnoticed. He's not to blame for what she's feeling anyway. It's not his fault she's confused, dealing with a lot of feelings, and communication is hard.]

I think these will be just fine for shoes, Hakkai-sama.

[She's managed to find a couple of more pairs of sturdy looking sandals and a pair of lucky cat houseslippers she thought looked cute. Some indoor shoes would be nice, too.]

If I could get a comb and some things to put my hair up, I'd very much appreciate them. My hair is very thick, you see, and it's very hot.

[And after a moment of uncertainty, she adds. It feels like she's asking for too much but he'd said to ask for what she needs.]

...and if it's not too much trouble, a patch of some kind to cover up my eye. I'm not sure where to find those...

Edited 2017-05-31 23:23 (UTC)

An eyepatch? I found a shop a few weeks ago for mine.

[It had been a rather frilly costume shop, but a frilly costume shop with a variety of eyepatches ranging from the utilitarian black piratical look to the elaborate with lace, leather and embroidery.

As for the combs, though -- he glances around the store. There don't seem to be many accessories for sale here.]

But yes, of course. I'll show you.

Thanks.

[After a moment, she jumps with start, suddenly remembering something very important. How could she forget such an obvious staple? And it's one Ayumu needs input and help on very much, too, considering she's not sure what to expect in this world.]

Oh, I almost forgot! I'll need undergarments, too, Hakkai-sama. Do you know where to find them?

Over on that side of the store!

[... Does she know what a bra is? They're fairly modern inventions....

Hastily, he wipes the stricken expression from his face, and holds his hands out.]

I can hold those shoes for you while you pick some out. [He clears his throat.] And, ah, if you have questions, it's not my area of expertise, but I'll try to answer them.

'Kay. I'll be right back.

[Ayumu hands her things over and walks to the side of the store he'd indicated. She'd brought it up mostly to rib him a little; undergarments doesn't feel like something she wears normally but she's a bit more sensitive to draftiness at the moment. And she is honestly trying to fit into this world without being too much of a spectacle.

She sees the different bras, even though she doesn't know the name for them, and they're pretty enough with silky fabric and lacy adornments. Ultimately, she passes them over because she just doesn't see the point. The panties are easier to swallow, those are a little strange to her, too, but not as out there as the other garments, so she grabs a few of those in different colors and along with a couple of slips that just feel good on her skin.

A little while later, Ayumu returns.]

All done.

[It's possible, perhaps, that he should say something about the fact that there don't seem to be any bras in her pile of clothes, but Hakkai would frankly rather be peeled with a potato knife. He smiles cheerfully at her, and nods towards the cashier.]

Well, in that case...! Is there anything else you'd like here, or shall we buy these and head out to get hair supplies and an eyepatch?

No, I think this is everything I need from here, Hakkai-sama.

[She smiles back, equally cheerful. Who would have ever thought the notion of simply having clothing of her own to wear would be this thrilling? Already the future's looking a little less intimidating now that she doesn't have to worry about confronting it barefoot and naked.]

Excellent!

[He holds his armload of shoes and blouses out for her to deposit hers on top, and nods back towards the register at the back of the store.]

I'll go pay, then. Just a moment. [He can run the sundress she's not wearing through twice to make up for the one she is, and that should cover it. Luckily, it's hard enough for the living to pay attention to what they're doing that he doubts the clerk will raise questions.

It'll only take a few minutes before he returns with two big paper shopping bags, emblazoned with the store's logo and with nice twine carrying handles, and still smiling cheerfully.

The cheerfulness is mostly false, but it's a well-worn enough ruse that it's quite hard to tell. He is glad she seems pleased with the purchases, anyway.]

Here. I'll carry one.

[Ayumu reaches out to take one of the bags. She needs to put on a pair of sandals before they go anywhere else anyway.]

So where's the next shop, Hakkai-sama? Is it very far?

[Hakkai hands over the one containing the shoes and underthings, and slides the other onto his wrist, glancing out over the street. It's a quiet day, and they could take the subway, but that might be a little too much new technology for one day for her.]

It's across town, I'm afraid.

[He holds out his hand.]

I can teleport us there.

[He's still working out the nuances of that new ability, but he's been able to move safely around his temple and even into crowded areas without difficulty. It just takes a good memory of the layout of the destination....]

[Ah, yes, teleportation. Such a convenient ability and one she'd enjoyed finding new applications for as a goddess. Alas, she remembers nothing of her previous time here, otherwise she could have given him some pointers.]

'Kay, Hakkai-sama.

[Once Ayumu has her sandals on, she picks up the bag, sliding its handle down to rest in the crook of her elbow, and reaches out to take his hand. There's no hesitation in the gesture. He's her god, her commander. If she can't trust him, who can she trust? Some things just come naturally to her and faith and loyalty to her superior is one of them. Well, now that the clothing issue is being taken care of and she can think beyond meeting her basic needs.]

What kind of shop is it?

[There seems to be a wide variety of shops in this world. It's different but not in a scary way.]

Accessories and novelties. [He takes her hand in a firm, impersonal grip, and the street around them dissolves into a different one. At this time of the morning, the traffic is light, but the shops are open: bookstores, clothing stores and jewelry stores hardly bigger than closets with a display table out front, and a few larger ones, like the store they're a few steps outside. Its sign reads, in cutesy bubble letters, Kitty's Closet, and is accented with a silhouette of a girl in a frilly skirt wearing a cat-ear headband and paw-gloves.

There is, though, a wide selection of hair clips, extensions, ties and headbands along the back wall (only some of which have animal ears) and -- he points -- a small section with eyepatches in different styles. Also, a section of novelty socks.]

The eye patches are there, and the hair supplies are towards the back. Please get whatever you need.

[No sooner than Hakkai gives her permission, Ayumu's dashing off to investigate the store. Her fascination with everything is blatant; there's so many new things to inspect and ogle. Everything's just so cute, that there's so much she doesn't recognize doesn't really faze her much.

Ayumu manages to restrain herself from just wandering all over the store, instead going over to look at the eyepatches. There's just so many! And quite a few styles she didn't think eyepatches came in. It takes her a couple of minutes to decide where to start - patches that go with the new wardrobe she's accumulating. She selects a few in different colors and one with an elegant floral print that'll look nice with her dresses.

Finally, she heads down the aisle to look at the hair accessories. The extensions are interesting on a practical level. She sees a lot of goods that would be helpful in disguise. However, that's not what she's here for. After a while, she returns to Hakkai with a small armful of assorted ribbons, barrettes, and hair ties in addition to a pink kitty brush and comb set that was too adorable to resist.]

I think this is everything for now!

[There's so much more she wants to look at but she can come back on her own time. The cute little dresses with the kimono sleeves definitely merit further investigation. There's a red and white maid outfit in particular that she keeps eyeing.]

[That, Hakkai has to admit, is an amazing pile of hair supplies. Somehow he hadn't guessed, when he'd known her before, that she'd have a weakness for cute; but now he knows.

Perhaps it's a good sign that she's feeling comfortable enough to express that now?

Well, the floral print eyepatch is genuinely nice. He smiles cheerfully at her and nods towards the cashier.]

They're very nice. Would you like to come with me this time? I'll show you how purchases work here.

[Ayumu beams.]

Please do. Are there any shrines near here?

[She's managed to figure out those work easily enough, thankfully.]

I'd like to come back sometime. After I've found work, of course.

[Regardless of the means he has, it'd be nice to have spending money of her own to make purchases with. For all her talk of feeling like a child in this world, she truly does want to become more independent.]

Edited 2017-06-11 11:06 (UTC)

Yes, there's one of Inari's a few blocks away.

[There are some hidden advantages to having a god who was once a shinki himself, and one of them is that Hakkai has a fairly good memory of where the closest shrines are to all of his favorite Near Shore locations. He's only recently gained the ability to teleport, after all.

He waves her towards the register, and clears his throat loudly as the shop attendant stares right through them. She starts, almost dropping the shirt she's folding, and her eyes come into focus on the two people standing right there.

She stumbles through a polite apology, and Hakkai returns the standard "oh no, of course not, please don't worry about it, we'd like to check out." He nods to Ayumu.]

Just put it all on the counter.

[Meanwhile, he produces his own wallet from his back pocket, waiting for Ayumu to put down her purchases and the cashier to ring it all up.]

[Ayumu does as instructed, carefully depositing all of her items on the counter and stepping back to watch how the transaction is done. It's a little odd having to be taught how to do something so basic but she doesn't recognize the machine on the counter at all.]

What's this called, Hakkai-sama?

[Her tone's curious as she points to the cash register. Now that the attendant's noticed her, she gives Ayumu an odd look but says nothing as she starts ringing up the items.]

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