Tsuzuki Asato (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sweetdeath) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thenearshore2016-06-23 01:13 am
sweetdeath) wrote in thenearshore2016-06-23 01:13 am
[semi-open]
Who: Tsuzuki, Hisoka, Battler (and you!)
What: Hisoka's dead (or is he?) and Tsuzuki's not coping well.
When: March 27 & 28, 2016
Where: Tajimamori's temple
Warnings: Discussion of character death, depression, self-harm.
Closed to Battler/Late Night March 27
[Tsuzuki isn't sure how he got back to the temple. There are blank spaces in his memory, spreading darknesses after that searing moment when he felt Hisoka dying and his name shattering into an equally blank and empty space where their connection had been.
The sunflowers are blooming all around the porch, and the cloying-sweet scent of orange blossoms rises from the trees along the far wall. He isn't looking at them: he knows by the scent and the flower shadows swaying over the front door.
He reaches out and fumbles, blindly, for the door handle. Smooth, worn wood under his fingertips. Door frame. His thoughts come more slowly with each moment, leaving most of the information of his senses to flow past without interpretation or comment.
A splinter stabs his index finger, and Tsuzuki notes the pain as if from a very great distance. He doesn't flinch. His hand falls on the door handle, he turns it, and the door falls open.
Tsuzuki stumbles over the sill and falls heavily against the wall just inside it, sliding down slowly until he is curled at the base of it.
He closes his eyes.
There's blood everywhere behind his eyelids.]
March 28/Open to Visitors, Hisoka in the evening
[The window is open in Tsuzuki's room. He's not sure if he opened it. It's ... familiar.
It doesn't smell like cherry blossoms outside.
This isn't Meifu.
Hisoka was a shinki, not a shinigami, and Tsuzuki couldn't protect him.
All that blood, and he couldn't heal him.
His thoughts wander by slowly, and the blanks grow between them, until he's staring out the window without thinking anything at all.]
What: Hisoka's dead (or is he?) and Tsuzuki's not coping well.
When: March 27 & 28, 2016
Where: Tajimamori's temple
Warnings: Discussion of character death, depression, self-harm.
Closed to Battler/Late Night March 27
[Tsuzuki isn't sure how he got back to the temple. There are blank spaces in his memory, spreading darknesses after that searing moment when he felt Hisoka dying and his name shattering into an equally blank and empty space where their connection had been.
The sunflowers are blooming all around the porch, and the cloying-sweet scent of orange blossoms rises from the trees along the far wall. He isn't looking at them: he knows by the scent and the flower shadows swaying over the front door.
He reaches out and fumbles, blindly, for the door handle. Smooth, worn wood under his fingertips. Door frame. His thoughts come more slowly with each moment, leaving most of the information of his senses to flow past without interpretation or comment.
A splinter stabs his index finger, and Tsuzuki notes the pain as if from a very great distance. He doesn't flinch. His hand falls on the door handle, he turns it, and the door falls open.
Tsuzuki stumbles over the sill and falls heavily against the wall just inside it, sliding down slowly until he is curled at the base of it.
He closes his eyes.
There's blood everywhere behind his eyelids.]
March 28/Open to Visitors, Hisoka in the evening
[The window is open in Tsuzuki's room. He's not sure if he opened it. It's ... familiar.
It doesn't smell like cherry blossoms outside.
This isn't Meifu.
Hisoka was a shinki, not a shinigami, and Tsuzuki couldn't protect him.
All that blood, and he couldn't heal him.
His thoughts wander by slowly, and the blanks grow between them, until he's staring out the window without thinking anything at all.]
no subject
Hisoka... what do you remember?
[What's left? How much did he lose?
Whose shinki is he now, if his connection to Tsuzuki is still gone?]
no subject
[ Someone that could feel so comfortable out at night among the cherry trees, but that couldn't be a dream. Not when he'd so vividly known of this house with its tall, beautiful sunflowers. Hisoka slumps against him, ends up with his face buried against the juncture of Tsuzuki's neck and shoulder while his words come out muffled. ]
And then this. I don't even know how to file a protest.
[ It's such a stupid complaint, but he's not actually all that okay himself. ]
no subject
[Tsuzuki wraps his arms around Hisoka's waist, staring down at the back of his head. The Gensoukai. That's why Hisoka knows him. It's not still, it's again.
Tightening the hug, he lets his own head fall against Hisoka's, breathing out on something that almost sounds like a shaky laugh.]
You remember....
[Tsuzuki really has him back.]
no subject
Remember? [ He didn't, and that's half of the problem. Wasn't it?
He'd felt like someone else in that one fragment of time. ]
no subject
You were my shinki. For the last month. You didn't remember anything about yourself, or me, or -- the Summons Department or anything.
[What is Hisoka now? Is he really back to who he was, or is he like Tsuzuki, another god?]
no subject
The violation of his mind and the fact that he'd been forced to essentially abandoned Tsuzuki to deal with this new situation on his own are unforgivable offenses. Someone was going to pay for this. His fingers twist in Tsuzuki's clothes as he balls his hands into fists. ]
Whoever did that- I won't let them get away with it.
no subject
He's back and that's broken the weight of a grief that Tsuzuki didn't know if he could bear, but he's not back because Tsuzuki made anything better. It doesn't change how badly he failed.]
... I don't know why they made you one and not me.
[Maybe Hisoka would've done a better job.]