thenearshore | [Open-ish]

It's different with Mikoto, but applies to you both.

[ See, Mikoto's weird, but also a child predator and creepy. You also can never tell if he's listening and will do the right thing, because he never communicates properly. Or at all.

Izumo doesn't sleep, is sometimes hard to read, and has a weird mom voice/look power. ]

... And try not to follow down my path, okay? It's easy to get hooked on it once that starts.

...I'll take that as a compliment.

[Meet the Dad and Mom of HOMRA, Shizuo. Their lives are strange.

He hums a bit, glancing at him.]

I'll definitely use you as an example as part of things 'not to do'.

... Sure.

[ Man, Shizuo's glad that he's not a part of HOMRA. At least, he's pretty sure he isn't, as it's never come up before.

Did he end up being part of a gang without realizing it? ]

Yeah, well it's a pretty damn extreme example, if not an entire list itself. You won't have a problem following that list to not be like me.

[ Because as far as Shizuo's concerned, no one should be anything like him. Which Izumo might've fueled just because he was the similar-looking comparison to go off of. ]

Only problem is that people can accumulate guilt in different ways.

[You're just so easy to make guilty.

He does pause, however, because he spares Shizuo another glance.]

I didn't help in any of that, did I? [Because they're lookalikes so comparison is easy to make even subconsciously.]

Edited 2017-07-08 04:43 (UTC)

In what, showing how much I don't have things together?

[ Let's see- One owns a business, has a good handle on the shinki skills that everyone should understand the basics of, and is in enough projects to be referred to when needing help. The other is Shizuo.

As aware as he is about this, Shizuo doesn't throw that in his face, because it wouldn't be right. The only reason why he was bitter was because of his own shortcomings. Some of which he seems to manage to create. It wasn't his place to get jealous about these kinds of things. ]

Whether or not you helped, I do a good enough job on my own.

You're just harsh on yourself.

[All things that Izumo has grown to learn over time during his stay here. So really, it isn't fair to compare the two of them together.

Shizuo is Shizuo. Izumo is Izumo.

He studies him for a moment, as if trying to gauge what his thoughts are, before he looks away. Really, the main thing about this is the fact that Shizuo seems to draw in enough self-guilt to last him a lifetime.]

Holding it all in isn't good for you, you know. [As evident by the recent blight and ablution.] It's fine for you to want to complain or want to vent every once in a while.

Am I?

[ He looks over at his twin at just the right time to see the guy diverting his gaze again. Possibly to do that mind-reading thing that the guy can somehow manage to do- though it shouldn't be too surprising with how they've managed to silently communicate before.

How often has he managed to broadcast what he was thinking, or feeling, without realizing it? He'd gotten used to and accepted this, but was that fair to Izumo? ]

It's not like I'm really holding anything back right now. It's just that the way things are, and our differences, can't be helped. Nothing's gonna happen from venting about this kinda dumb shit. I've just... gotta change.

[ Maybe there was a book for it. 'How to not be a fuck-up for dummies' or something like that. Maybe a special shinki edition for it all. ]

You are.

[Really, Izumo should point out it's not even some sort of mind-reading thing going on. He's just been able to read Shizuo that well during their short time together. Then again, their silent conversations could always be pegged down to being twin telepathy if they really wanted to try and explain it.

But at the same time, it wouldn't be Izumo if he doesn't mention it or hint at it subtly.]

While I'll encourage you on 'changing', the better question is what is it about yourself that you feel like you need to change?

Venting and complaining isn't really gonna help in any of this, so I'd rather just let those thoughts go.

[ He counts it all as mind reading, as some kind of reading is going on here. Then again, because of how much Shizuo tries to keep things simple, it kind of makes him a simple read. That's just the aspect that he's chosen to settle on, for better or worse.

Yet the answer to that question is kind of a loaded gun. It was no secret that Shizuo didn't really like much about himself. ]

... Plenty of things. The trick is knowing what to try and keep the same, if anything. The annoying part is that there are things that I can't change, no matter what.

As long as it grants you peace of mind.

[He's not sure how it'd go otherwise.

And no, this isn't a secret at all. Something Izumo might feel like he ought to bring up to Yona or even Sharak since Shizuo and Sharak were having those training sessions.

Izumo peers over at him.]

Don't try to change too much. People still like you for who you are, you know.

...

[ Honestly, if they hadn't managed to figure that out now, especially after the ablution on Yona's part, then there's something wrong. Because it's obvious enough from one of the first times you meet the guy that he's his harshest critic. Which is normal, but this is to a detrimental level.

Even Goten's probably noticed this, though he wouldn't understand it very well. ]

... Like I said, I know there are some things I can't change. Some things also wouldn't be right to change, either.

[ So, he'll probably stay as honest as he normally is. Or somewhere along those lines. He'll probably follow his morals as strongly as he usually does. ]

Though I really don't get what there is to actually like. I always look and sound annoyed, I've got a bad temper and break things by accident, and I'm not much help for talking or complicated shit. It's not like I'm the kind of person that can be relied on or would be suggested for help in most things. Not unless it involves something really heavy.

You're you; that's all that matters.

[This is the kind of thing that makes him want to smoke, you know, so he does take out another cigarette. Lighting it up, he listens to Shizuo and is quiet, waiting until the other is finished talking whilst thinking.

Sometimes, there are days wherein Shizuo honestly wants to make Izumo grab him by the collar of his shirt and punch him. It feels like a necessary response lately given recent happenings. He breathes out smoke, watching it curl in the air.]

You're honest. You're loyal. Even after everything that's happened, even if you wanted Yona to release you, you never actually forced her hand to do so. Sure, you're not the best to talk to when it comes to certain things, but people still like you. There are people who still want to be your friends - like Goten and Sharak. There are plenty of reasons to like you, even when you don't like yourself at times.

[ It was honestly bad enough that he considered trying to force Yona's hand, and was thinking of ways past his resistance to ease the blight and go through with the ablution. Except he saw that those other ways made it far too easy to accidentally kill the redhead. Which he couldn't do. For that was one of the lines he wanted to avoid at all costs.

He wants to argue, and could, but Shizuo also knew that it wouldn't actually go anywhere. Someone he didn't even know told him off for saying that it'd be cruel to Sharak to think they were friends. Despite how he felt, his failings made it seem like that would just be a further burden on the monk. Goten was a different case- the boy just saw him as a big kid that also looked like Izumo.

So while he knew that it was pointless to argue, Shizuo adjusted himself to be tilted a little away. At least he was pretty honest, even to himself, though some things are taken more harsh and extreme than necessary, or as they really were. ]

Well... It can't be helped. Whatever all of you see or like, it's impossible for me to see it right now. I'd just get the instinct to argue against it. Hell, I was about to say that with me needing the ablution, you couldn't really call me honest or loyal anymore.

[There are times wherein they could be far too much alike. The only difference is that one of their redheaded gods would be more likely to punch their shinki if it means getting them to cooperate. Izumo is familiar with blight, familiar with what it can do.

It's fortunate so far that Izumo has chosen not to dwell on his past mistakes lest he truly does blight Mikoto.

He huffs a bit.]

Still honest and loyal. You're just an idiot. [The last bit is said fondly.] But whether it's now or later, all of us will make sure that you see it one day.

[ Fondly or not, and while he's well aware of being an idiot, he wasn't expecting Izumo to call him one. ]

That I'm an idiot? I've known that this whole time. The other stuff...

[ Well, Shizuo knew that if he wanted, he could be a good liar. Actually, in the vein of lying and being a good actor when he wanted, that reminds him of something else. ]

What would you think if I started smiling all the time?

[ How disturbing and unnatural would it be? It's not like he could pull it off as easily, in the way you and Hakkai do. ]

[Tough love, Shizuo. Izumo calls the people he likes as 'idiots'.

He pauses, imagining a Shizuo who smiles all the time and--]

...Please don't do that.

[For everyone's sanity.]

[ Wow, going straight to that response after thinking about it, huh? ]

Is the idea of it that bad? Someone suggested I try smiling more, but...

[ But it wasn't him? It felt like a lie? Shizuo actually had nice smiles, and he could give excellent ones if he wanted, but it was a little jarring. Not just for him to do, but for people to see. Especially if they knew him. ]

The idea of you smiling all the time like Hakkai and I do is a little disconcerting.

[At least he's honest?]

You should smile only when you feel like smiling. Don't be like me.

[ Is Shizuo's honesty starting to rub off? Then again, it's not as if Izumo was too big of a liar. ]

Hakkai's the one that suggested smiling more after I said that I know I'm not really approachable.

[ Says the man with over a dozen people on his CR chart. ]

I don't think you have to worry about me being like you, though. That'd be pretty exhausting.

[ He also likes to sleep and relax. ]

I can see why Hakkai would suggest it, but you're approachable as you are already. I'm sure there are already a few people you've met and gotten to know would agree with me, and even if you aren't, being around you helps anyway.

[Like Goten.]

You might not last too long being me.

[and that's the honest truth.]

I... Really don't get that.

[ Sounds fake, but okay, is what that basically means. Yet he also knows better than to get into an argument about this. Not because he'd lose, but it was one where neither of them really won in it, so there was little to no point in trying. ]

Either way, it'd be impossible for me to be anything like you. Luckily you just have to worry about me looking like you sometimes and just having a few similarities.

[ Just like brothers usually are. Even if there's more things in common with them than Shizuo realizes. If he was more himself, Shizuo might've tacked on one of those fake, but really nice smiles as if to make his point, but he didn't even have the energy for trying comedy. ]

Your self-esteem issues need to be worked on.

[Because really, he's a little tempted to burn you.

He looks a bit amused.]

Right, if you say so.

Yeah, well I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do that.

[ How do you change how you think of yourself? See, he needs that guidebook for dummies. He's got no clue. ]

Ah, are you saying we don't have a few similarities? Sure, no one's gonna be mixing us up while I'm like this, but that's not all there is.

It takes some time.

[He laughs.]

That's not what I'm saying at all. We definitely have a few similarities - some of them too similar it can be considered scary sometimes.

I guess we have plenty of that...

[ Unless he disappears, of course. Though there's one word in all of that which gets Shizuo curious. ]

Wait, which things are scary?

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