thenearshore | Let's Go Out

Entry tags:

Let's Go Out

Who: Rin Matsuoka and Sousuke Yamazaki
Where: Various locations on the Near Shore
When: Mid-August
What: How many ways can “Let’s go out” be interpreted?
Warnings: Knowing them, something awkward/cute/hot/feels is going to happen.

[You don’t need to get closer. There’s no more distance between us. Those are the kind of thoughts he’d expect any logical person to think about their relationship. Between a god and his shinki, living together and growing together, how could they bother with the idea of getting “closer” when their lives were more or less wrapped up within each other’s? They already experienced so much together. Their initial meeting under the shower of cherry blossoms and clouds. A strange bond rushing together with every race they took in the pool to hone their skills as swimmers and conquer Sousuke’s nostalgia. Sharing the burden of pain and poignancy as they met with Rin’s father and helped him return to the afterlife.

Yelling and arguing over the stupidest things (and sometimes not so stupid) from workout practices to what’s the best way to cook spicy teriyaki. Bright laughs and satisfied grins as they trained their powers out in the castle grounds or raced through the castle to explore its secrets. Even the awkward moments that keep popping up, from sleeping in the same bed to accidentally getting flashes of nudity in the bathroom… and spending an entire week together as kids. They even got a bath (or five) together already! Anyone with those kinds of events in their lives were bound to be called “best friends” or something like that, right? They didn’t need to get any closer, right?

… apparently they did. Maybe it simply isn’t enough to spend those kinds of times and experiences together. Training, living, growing, learning, enjoying, challenging… Those things are always going to be there and Sousuke’s not against any of them. So then, if they’re that close already, why’s this day having so much fun already playing awkward string through their evening tapestry? Let’s go out. That’s all he’d said when he came downstairs. He didn’t say anything remotely related to the term ‘date’ you know! But… his god’s a romantic sap beyond compare and it didn’t take long for someone’s face to get red.

So of course Sousuke’s surprise (maybe suspicion) lingers on as he steps out of the portal that carries his god and him to the Near Shore. The human realm that contains so many sights, scents, and sounds that bring a round of comfort and gentle thrill to his chest. Rin agreed to the offer. After all that, he’d agreed. It’d been a long time, if not actually the first time, they’ve ever gotten dressed up in front of each other. He’s grateful for the cooler evening air. It makes his current clothes far more comfortable. Turns out, even if Sousuke tends to prefer his shirts open and untucked, his collarbones exposed, casual pants a little unconsciously-lowcut… he’s not at all bad cutting an impressive figure in formal wear.]

Where do you want to go?

[The obvious intent is to have dinner eventually… but it’s been a long time since they’ve gone out to simply hang with each other in such a setting. They should really make a whole night of it. Who knows what else they’ll learn about each other… Who knows how much closer they’ll get.]

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[He's not sure what to make of that look once Sousuke opens his eyes. They've looked at each other hundreds of times, but this time... it feels different in a way he can't explain. Is it because of the heartfelt confessions or maybe it's only the kiss. Maybe it's both or something he's yet to uncover. Whatever the reason, he finds himself mirroring that gaze, eyes softening, focus flitting from his best friend's eyes to his cheeks and the way his bangs just barely touch his brows. ... Rin never wanted to admit he missed people when he left them behind, but every day from dusk to dawn, waking up and falling asleep in this same bed with the same body beside him... he knows he misses Sousuke. Yes, he's the same person. He has the same name, same voice, looks and personality. But deep inside him there's something missing and, in turn, it feels as if something's missing from Rin too.

They're balanced in every way except for their memories and it destroys him a little bit more each time he remembers. Of course he doesn't remember. He doesn't know why Rin looks at him the way he does, why he insists on carrying heavier things for him after they've gone grocery shopping, why he knows exactly what clothes to buy for him or what jokes he'll find the funniest. Of course he doesn't know... because he doesn't remember what they used to be. What they're supposed to be.

Rin doesn't answer the question and chooses instead to keep staring in silence, aware of the heat between them but helpless to address it. Why would he not talk about those things? No reason. He should. Because there's nothing wrong with them and Rin likes it when he says them. Secretly... he even cherishes them, because Sousuke's never been that open before, at least not about wanting to be with Rin. Simple things, everyday things, but... Sousuke wants to be a part of all that even now.

So then. Does it bother him?

It should. He should say it's too selfless of Sousuke to think that way. He should think more of what he wants and his dreams instead of revolving his decisions around Rin. In the end, it's not what Rin answers, and after offering a somewhat somber smile he once again fists his hands into the blankets, this time hard enough to just barely white his knuckles.]

That's the thing. [It's half amused, half disbelieving.] ... I do like it. [More than I can admit.]

But I know that makes me selfish.

[He could try to explain the difference, but Sousuke knows he’d just be running around in circles and never making a point. The kiss, his memories, Rin’s past, their first “date” if you thought about it like that, any of those things could be the reason behind their eyes right now. Rin’s looking at him in a way he both can’t recognize and a way he’s seen so many times before. Eyes seeking his face, his visage, for someone who isn’t there. The person Rin remembers is the very person Sousuke’s forgotten. They’ve had that conversation so many times before in so many different ways. From somber whispers to frustrated yelling. Rin misses who was once there; Sousuke, for all his experiences and memories he’s gained since waking in the Shores, is simply a physical cage housing the locked away memories of “someone else.” It’s a cruel way of thinking about it, self-scathing and not helping either of them… but it’s true no matter how much Rin says he’s okay with it and Sousuke says it’s fine.

Both of them know they’re not… complete.

Sousuke knows Rin will never see him as “someone else” though; he continues to hold that Sousuke’s simply forgotten his past, that he’s still the same person he is now. Only missing pieces. Pieces dangerous for them to even go referencing. Pieces that shape his reactions and personality. In that sense, Sousuke’s grateful… but he’s also afraid. Who he is now could very well disappear. He wants to think it’s foolish, but how can he not have that concern? It’s agonizing when Rin looks at him, realizing the person he once knew is no longer there. Who he was before, why he does the things he does, all those building blocks that shape a person. And if that person is who Sousuke assumes it is… the friend from Tokyo that is so important to Rin…

This isn’t doing either of them any favors. It’s sad; they can never really have deep discussions because of the risks they carry. Like sharks, nearing the surface, but never willing to breach the water and see the other side. Sousuke’s question goes unanswered and he’s grateful for it. Perhaps it’d been rhetorical. The silence grants him seconds of reprieve from the frustration and pain the answer will bring. It’s hot instead, rising heat glowing under his shirt, burning in his chest, threatening to make its way to Sousuke’s face and color his tan skin the longer he looks at Rin’s face. This is going to be another moment between them… isn’t it. Another memory made important for its undercurrents and decisions.

Does it bother you that it’s always about you? Sousuke knows the answer to the question already; of course it bothers Rin. Even if the young man is proud and can be selfish at times, he’s also selfless and kindhearted. It’s not like Rin’s alien to putting others before himself. And yet, for some reason, a forgotten reason, Sousuke worries about it. Worries that Rin will risk something important for the sake of another. Something that could possible ruin him. Something that Sousuke would much rather sacrifice instead so that Rin can keep smiling… To protect Rin and watch over him is a facet of himself Sousuke’s come to realize runs far deeper than his duty as a shinki. It’s part of him long before he died. Specific to Rin. He doesn’t get it, doesn’t understand it… but doesn’t fight it either.

The somber smile above him heralds the sheets clenching even tighter beside his ears, what he knows without seeing are white knuckles pulling the covers taut under his head. You’re frustrated again, aren’t you, Rin. And you’re trying to hold it back, idiot. Sousuke watches his best friend with a calm expression, impassive on the surface to anyone save for the young man leaning over him. Of course Rin likes it when people pay attention to him, when Sousuke focuses on him. He’s that kind of person… but… is he really feeling guilty for being that way?

Before he knows it, the husk of sheets and fabric see the swimmer’s strong arm lifting from the bed, shirt and vest falling a little back over his chest. He reaches up, arm bending at the elbow and hand at the wrist. Until fingers thread through the silken maroon strands falling over the back of Rin’s head. Until the warmth of his scalp fills Sousuke’s palm and covers his fingers as he holds Rin close.]

It’s fine if you want to be selfish with me. [A moment taken to focus his eyes on Rin’s.] I like it.

[Of course it bothers him. It bothers him every day. Knowing this one characteristic, out of all things, remains unchanged in his best friend even without his memories. He hoped he'd be more selfish, or at least learn to think about himself, what he wants, hopes for, dreams about... He worries being Rin's shinki might have morphed his mind somehow and led him to believe he's expendable so long as Rin, his god, stays alive. He worries he's contributing to that way of thinking simply by existing and that in some twisted way of fate he'll end up responsible for Sousuke's undoing... again. He'll hurt himself, sacrifice himself, destroy himself, all to see Rin safe and smiling. He doesn't get it, doesn't understand it... but no amount of fighting will bring Sousuke to stop.

So it's frustrating, wanting to redirect Sousuke's attention but cling to it all the same. Yes, it's stupid... but it's who Sousuke is. To focus on Rin was always his choice, his freedom. Who will he be if he tries to take that away? Guilty. Just as he'd be if he leaves it alone.

His chest aches, heavy and fluttering all at once. The feeling isn't unfamiliar, but it's rare, sudden, and not what he expects at a time like this. Just keep holding back. Keep looking forward, down, keep smiling so everything stays and nothing escalates anymore. But Rin's eyes betray him and with a strong yet gentle hand reaching for his face he knows he's never been more transparent to his best friend than he is now. As soon as bare skin touches bare skin, he sighs, frustrated but resigned, and shuts his eyes to find some calm in the darkness. Touching him. Holding him. Telling him it's fine, it's ok, I understand. Briefly the image of a much younger Sousuke flashes in his mind, snow falling between his eyes, a familiar blue and white scarf wrapped around his neck.

Is it really fine? Or are you only saying that because you don't want me to cry?

Rin's eyelids tremble before he forces himself to meet Sousuke's gaze a second time, and suddenly he's grown too aware of how hot his body is now that they're touching. Is he going crazy? He has to be... otherwise Sousuke's words wouldn't be moving him the way they do. The way he says them, his voice, his touch...

Embarrassed, Rin turns his head until his cheek brushes against the inside of the other swimmer's wrist, the cords in his neck straining, his breath and heart beat bringing red all the way to the tips of his ears.

I like it. Well...]

... I like you.

[Outside, the cherry blossoms fall still.]

[Rin’s not the only one it bothers, but even if he wonders about it every now and then, Sousuke has no intention to try and stop himself from caring about Rin. Where it comes from, he assumes is locked away in his mind, but the instinctive urge and the quiet happiness that come from it can’t be denied. Or much less excused as simply being Rin’s shinki. Maybe it’s selfish of Sousuke to be so concerned about Rin while he remains rather apathetic towards others (or at least semi-reluctantly involved), but trying to go against it is as foolish as trying to stop breathing. Voicing such things to Rin, however, will send them both down a path of doubt and suspicion towards their relationship and nature towards each other. Whether the “god” and “shinki” are influencing them or if this is something more.

Sousuke believes it’s the latter, but… he knows Rin worries about it being the former. Probably even blames himself, guiltily thinking his position as Sousuke’s god is affecting his shinki’s personality. And unfortunately, without his memories, Sousuke has no solid rejoinder. It’s uncomfortable, but best to let the matter remain a dark undercurrent between them, both young men thinking what they will of it while waiting for something to finally shed some light.

How is it that he understands Rin so much already? They’ve said so little since returning to the room, Rin’s said almost nothing in return to his answer/question, and yet, Sousuke’s able to see what swims behind his best friend’s eyes. Knows his chest feels as heavy as Sousuke’s, as if he hears the flutter of his heart as his pulse picks up. Effort exerted to keep himself from spilling out something he’s desperately holding back. Sousuke knows he is; Rin’s trying to plaster that smile over his face and pretend things are acceptable as they are now. So nothing escalates further between them into risky territory. It’s kind of pathetic, but the larger swimmer can’t call him out on it without being a total hypocrite. So he watches instead, watching Rin’s red eyes begin to quiver and swim within the shadows of his face, listening to and feeling the puff of a frustrated breath blowing over his forehead and through his hair. A moment of surrender before Rin closes his eyes and Sousuke knows it’s over for the time being.

It’s all right, Rin. I understand. … So don’t cry.

They’ll handle it another time. Because for all the frustration and unaddressed problems, Sousuke and Rin remain each other’s constants. It’s the most important thing. So long as he can continue to be here beside Rin to support him, eventually things will get worked out. It’s the least he can do for his god, his friend.

Sousuke meets the revealed red as they open; Rin’s forcing himself to look at him, weathering the heat and emotions inside. While he doesn’t show them as vividly, it’d be a lie to say Sousuke doesn’t feel the same inside. Hot. Frustrated. Embarrassed. Confused. But… as Rin turns his head and the warmth of his cheek flushes against the tendons on the underside of Sousuke’s wrist, the swimmer’s pulse picks up again and he feels something inside him give. So much red above him, glowing dark on Rin’s cheeks, cresting the tips of his ears, highlighting the straining cords on his neck.

What I said before… what I did… None of it was a lie.

And then those words. Three simple words that flutter out as quietly as falling sakura petals. Sousuke’s eyes widen slowly, a faint red stain spreading on his tan face. A moment, frozen in time, when his stomach twisted in a knot and melted into a mess simultaneously, his heart skipped once and raced furiously after, the skin on his face and body constricting two sizes too tight, and everything felt… strange. Surprised, yes, but not as much as he should be? A kiss in the park minutes ago, the burn that haunted his lips, a mix of chlorine tinge and spicy hint, a held breath and wide eyes… and a question.

Would you do it again?

…I like you…

Just them, two young men on the bed, one lying on his back, the other kneeling over him, faces so close, one hand holding the other’s head still, bathed in moonlight and splashed with angular shadow amid a background of window-framed breath-held cherry blossom trees. Gossamer shadows flicking across their bodies, branches of pink silver suddenly blocked out as he lifts from the bed and his lips find his mouth once again. Their silhouettes meld into one connected body. It’s deeper this time. Slow. Not an attempt to shut up or prevent tears. Instead, an answer. Lips pressing until their skin molds to each other’s, teeth firm against the back of his lips, mouth parted enough his breath can seep through and exchange with his best friend’s. His best friend… who is more than a best friend.

Sousuke tilts his head slightly, gently seeking the perfect angle where they fit together. His nose brushes against the side of Rin’s chin as his hand slides down from the back of Rin’s head to instead capture the side of his face. Index finger resting on the young man’s burning cheek, third and fourth finger cupping his god’s ear between them with soothing strokes, fifth finger hovering alongside the pulsing beat of the swimmer’s neck, thumb tenderly tracing just above his slender brow. Tender, yes. Passionate (experimental), of course. Possessive… very. He kissed him before because he didn’t know. Now, as Sousuke opens his mouth and his next breath flows over the tentative reach of his tongue to the rim of Rin’s mouth, just shy of the sharp teeth he found so alluring… he knows his answer.

私もあなたが好きです]

Edited 2018-01-07 08:01 (UTC)

[He’s said too much. With three simple words, he’s hammered the last nail on his coffin and the smartest thing to do now would be to back away, find another room and pretend none of this ever happened. A normal reaction, considering his inexperience. After all, he’s said it countless times before: he might be a god, but before anything else he’s only a human boy. A teenager who still blushes furiously at the thought of holding someone’s hand. It shouldn’t be this clumsy. It was supposed to be sincere, romantic, intimate and true, not timid and withdrawn, hidden away in the shadows. Part of him thinks to do it again, do it properly... but he quickly dismisses the thought and holds his tongue, lips pursing against Sousuke’s skin. He doesn’t fit in his own body right now. His bones are too brittle, his skin too tight, his heart too heavy. He hasn’t even taken the chance to see Sousuke’s reaction at all.

This can’t be normal for you. You must be afraid. Just let me go and we’ll forget...

... how incredibly unfair of him not to listen.

But, really, Sousuke wouldn’t be himself if he did anything less.

In their combined heat, Rin shivers. His throat dips in a heavy swallow. His fingers fall numb, still clutching the wrinkled bedsheets for dear life. Truthfully, this isn’t normal for him either, and... sure. He’s afraid. Terrified, if he thinks hard enough about it. Because it must be easy to shatter this moment to pieces with anything. A wrong breath, a single tear, maybe even no movement at all. Their friendship can stand the test of time, but if it’s true that more exists... then they’ve never been so fragile. New and vulnerable, the fate of this relationship stands unstable, held together only by another kiss, another touch, and three weak words he isn’t sure he’s allowed to regret. Suddenly the room feels small. Their bed is too cramped, the space between them no longer exists. It’s only them... just them... as it was in the beginning.

We didn’t know what we were back then. Even now, sometimes it’s difficult to say. But from here on out... what will we be to each other?

What will I be to you?

Rin’s nature tells him to never wait for results. He should never ask questions. He should actively chase down his answers. So then... how can he be so restrained as they come together now, the position strange, the atmosphere frozen, the kiss... deep. Somehow he’s become focused, acutely aware of every bead of sweat as it seeps through his pores. Their lips both feel different. His are softer, Sousuke’s fuller. Parted, opening, wider and wider– He has his answer already. With the passion, the forwardness and the intensity, it can’t be anything else.

A rustle of fabric and Rin opens his eyes, the look in them dizzy as he tries to make sense of what he’s hearing. The chill on his shoulders tells him his shirt’s starting to fall away from his body, which... probably shouldn’t stop if he wants to cool down. One beat to consider, then he shrugs, letting the white dress shirt crumple around his shoulders before gracefully falling over both biceps, hard and flexed as he leans back a little more on his knees. What’s happening... What’s happening? No need to ask. No need to wait. His answer comes and he takes it with a greedy mouth, surprising even himself when he misjudges the distance and ends up mashing lips together with a clumsy click of teeth. He’s not suave enough to fix it quickly, but he can at least try to cover it up, right arm reaching to hook around Sousuke’s neck, teeth making way for his own tentative tongue to reach... then retreat at the last possible millisecond.

Long enough to breathe,]

Sousuke...

[... the trees quake. Blossoms continue to fall.]

Edited 2018-01-08 09:45 (UTC)

[He knows. That’s why Sousuke keeps his hand on Rin’s head. That and other reasons. The urge to break apart and run, retreat to frustrated, confused loneliness, isn’t just burning in Rin’s eyes and chest; it’s coursing through Sousuke’s veins and shooting up his spine. But… since when have either of them truly run away? Maybe it’s just started tonight, but how many times has he found himself wondering about this very thing? Flirting with the idea of what could become more between Rin and him. He may be Rin’s shinki, his best friend the God of Love, but in reality, they’re both just two, teenage boys that and exploring a new life and growing closer. He’s still gets frustrated, tends to be aloof, sometimes quietly exasperated by Rin’s emotional responses to what he might think is romantic… and finds himself pinking at the idea itself despite his normal stoic expression. Because it’s not at all what either of them had thought.

He feels his blood rushing in his veins, the wild hammering of his heart’s surely audible in the quiet room, and the heat on his face is unmistakable. It’s not normal, it’s strange and maybe half-instinct, and… yes. Sousuke’s scared right now. He’s as scared of this as he had been of the water. If Rin rejects him, if he finds himself unwilling to continue, wondering if he’s shoving them into the unknown all over again… if he’s being selfish. But, he isn’t going to let the fear stop him. He’s made his decision and he’s not running away.

A tremor ripples through his skin. It steals his breath and his throat’s long muscles clench under his skin as Rin swallows above him. Hard enough it reaches Sousuke’s ears. He doesn’t release his grip, holding onto Rin to keep him there as much as he’s anchoring himself to the bed also. Even if Rin rips the sheets and pulls away, he’s not going to let him go. Not yet. Rin’s afraid; he knows that. It’s a fragile moment that teeters on the precipice of a burning new path… or a chilling dead end. Sousuke doesn’t know what to expect from Rin. A retreat, a gasp, a flood of tears, a shocked question. He’d been so stunned the first time… but then Souske had been the one to turn him down. Both moving in and retreating, waiting for the other to move, to decide… even if Sousuke told himself he already knew. It’s too late for regrets, there is no going back, he’s dove into the waters and right now…

I want to swim with you… … I want to be with you.

How many times have they charged forward together? From training to fighting to swimming to experimenting with dinner in the kitchen, they’ve never been a pair to wait for something. But… this isn’t like those other times. This demands patience, hesitation, care. The silent restraint buzzes against his lips and seems to travel into his hand holding the side of Rin’s face. It’s in his jaw line, beating in his pulse behind his ear. He’s waiting… touching… aware of everything. From the gentle dip of Rin’s cupid’s bow against his bottom lip to the hot vapors his breath carries into his mouth as the kiss begins to evolve from a warm touch to something hotter and open. Something wet beads on the corner of his mouth and before Sousuke can think to stop it with his tongue, it falls, dribbling a line down his cheek.

It’s passion. It’s desire. Sousuke’s eyes part halfway, teal gaze glistening slightly as he gazes up at Rin’s throat. Only to be distracted by the way his collarbones shift as his shoulders roll, making the cords of his throat flex and his chest flex each time. The white fabric falls down to his upper arms and something spikes inside Sousuke so hard, he grunts into the kiss. It parts slightly, lips peeling apart, leaving a clear break between their mouths and the slick line of Sousuke’s tongue too late to retreat back into his mouth unnoticed. Rin’s taste burns his mouth and lips, his throat as he swallows, tongue moving restlessly in his mouth with every passing millisecond they’re separated.

Instantly they’re back together and Sousuke makes a small sound as lips smash into his own hard enough their teeth meet with a click. His spine jumps and he winces for a second, but there’s an arm around his neck, warm and strong, and a tongue barely brushing at the contour of his mouth. Only to retreat and… His name. It sounds thick like velvet on Rin’s voice, rippling into his ears until his body shivers from head to toe. Tan fingers grip semi-desperately on Rin’s face, and he reaches up with his free hand, fingers finding Rin’s to lace through and hold onto his hand tightly.] Rin… [The world outside goes pink as sakura petals seep through the air, covering their bodies again in faint, dancing shadows.] Say my name again… Just like that.

[The longer this goes on, the more Rin's aware of how inexperienced he is. Teeth clicking is one thing, but he's still not sure how to angle his head or the right moments he's allowed to pull away for a breath. With most of his life devoted to reaching the international stage, there's... little room for anything else. His host family overseas asked him almost every season he returned if he'd yet found a girlfriend and every time he'd laugh... and look away. Wanting to run away, find something else, something more important to focus on instead of fantasy. Continue or turn away... The answer seems obvious. He's not used to it, he might not need it, therefore he's afraid of it and needs to run. But... Sousuke's never felt so warm. His body is inviting, his touch melts every muscle. Losing control like this shouldn't be... desirable.

And yet it is. Sousuke is. And just like that he remembers he's not only inexperienced, he's also just a kid with enough curiosities to keep his eyes glued open at night. In his mind the moments were usually quick. Not much thought, not much emotion. Only raw sounds and movement, something readily available to think about and keep his mind occupied until he'd finally fall asleep. But Rin doesn't want to treat this as an afterthought. He needs to be patient, hesitant, careful, because... he wants to learn. He wants to be better.

If this happens again tomorrow, he wants it to be memorable.

Mm... listen to him. Already thinking ahead to tomorrow when they've barely started today, or so it feels. Time and space don't exist in this strange, hazy void. For all Rin knows, the sun's already rising and they've spent every waking hour tripping over themselves. ... Is that supposed to happen too? When his heart feels so full it just might burst... Is he supposed to be this out of touch with anything and everyone except the one he loves? His face burns at the thought, right as his name fills the empty space, and with that combined desire and awkwardness his lips part with a short intake of breath, shaking, warm... electric. Is this what it has to be, are they as they should be?

... Is he in love with his best friend?

Too late he feels the gaps in his fingers fill up and when he tries to squeeze down into his palm he ends up biting into the back of Sousuke's hand instead, blunt nails leaving shallow, crescent shaped grooves on the surface. His hand. He's holding... Rin's hand. And he's kissing him and touching him and saying his name--

It comes out like a gasp, breathy and surprised.]

Sousuke--!

[Rin's overwhelmed when he pulls away, body tipping to the side so he can try to flop into his pillow for a moment of rest. But because Sousuke's made sure to hold on tightly, he can't let go of his hand, so there's an awkward stretch between their arms that hurts his elbow and twists his wrist. He'll tolerate it though if it means he can rest his head. Anything's a welcome distraction from whatever he's now feeling in the lowest pit of his stomach. Tugging, hot, tight as a coil... Rin curls his legs in closer to himself, making sure to press his knees together as tightly as he can. If he doesn't, that strange feeling will only keep traveling... lower.

Unconsciously he squeezes Sousuke's hand, perhaps seeking comfort or something to help steady his pulse. He won't stop racing. Rushing, running... If he didn't pull away, he could have gone too far, too soon.

This isn't a race, Rin. Take your time. Take it easy. ... Don't mess up.

... he tries again.]

... Sousuke. [Softer, quieter, less panicked than before so he can (hopefully) catch his partner's attention. Resting on his side, heaving body bathed in moonlight and pink shadows, Rin peeks out from around his hair to where he left Sousuke before. Hopefully he's not mad. Or discouraged. Or both.] Um... [Stop looking at his lips. Stop biting yours.]

Maybe... we shouldn't do that upside down.

[He’s going by… nothing really. A kiss should be simple, right? Lean forward until his mouth reaches Rin’s. A second after touching, Sousuke knows it’s not so simple. A shiver shoots up his spine and the hair at the nape of his neck stands up as teeth click against teeth. Pulling back just a moment to try and correct that, lips gently drawing away from Rin’s. He’s never kissed someone before; always been too busy with adapting to his life after death to think about that. And here he is, kissing Rin twice in one night. Should’ve listened to his initial thoughts, should have not let Rin get so close on the bed, should’ve gone into the shower or something… But no. Instead he reaches for him, holds him… and gives into the strange and surprising desire leaking like ichor through his veins.

Rin’s warm above him; has he always been this warm? So many nights sharing his bed, wrestling out on the grass, spotting each other during workouts, Sousuke should know this feeling. But it’s different and his body reaches for it without thinking about it. Stopping… is no longer an option. He’s left the diving block behind and the water of this new path is already swallowing him. No regrets, rights? No fear. He said this wouldn’t happen again after the first kiss. But then Rin asked if it would. It lingered in his mind, all the way to their bedroom. He knows he doesn’t have experience, knows it’s awkward, knows it means something. And he went for it. It’s burning his lips right now, threatening to steal his breath. Another “new” cracked open and glowing between them to explore.

Kind of stupid to be thinking about exploring when they just barely got started, but he can’t help himself. Being with Rin, experiencing this with him… is sending his heart racing and his stomach melting. Is that supposed to be a good feeling about kissing? Are his lips supposed to feel so hot? Is the desire to do it again and again a normal kiss thing? No one’s here to tell him those answers. Sousuke’s left with his breath shivering and his fingers curling to secure his grip on his best friend. The sound of Rin’s name on his lips even feels different than normal. His voice is deep, thick, kind of rich and wet. Breathy.

Che… He doesn’t know. Even as his fingers worm their way between Rin’s sheet-fisting digits, pushing them apart and open until he’s able to fold his long fingers between Rin’s slender lines, his mind’s busy with embarrassing questions. It’s… It’s okay to hold hands. Right? That something a romantic like Rin would like… right? He’s holding his hand, he’s holding his face, he’s kissing him, asking him to say his name again—Ngh! Sousuke’s brows twitch; it hurts. Fingernails bite into the back of his hand, pressing shallow crescents into his skin… What the hell? His heart rate surges and a rush of disbelieving excitement surges up through his chest and onto his face. Rin’s grip is hard, possessive almost…

And his name comes out of Rin’s mouth again. Sousuke swallows, washing his suddenly-dry mouth with saliva, the upper shells of his ears threatening to pink at the sound. Rin pulls away a second later, letting an uncomfortably-cold rush of moonlit air blanket Sousuke’s body. He cringes for a second at the sudden trade from shadow to light, listening as Rin flops ungracefully onto his side--] -ah! [The swimmer arches slightly and twists a little towards his shoulder. Hands together, yet arms and bodies are rolling, means there’s an uncomfortable pull in his elbow and wrist. Sousuke instinctively tugs and shakes his hand, fingers sliding out to the first knuckle from Rin’s grip. Just enough to let him twist his arm and realign his fingers until he’s not threatening to pop their elbows. There… that’s better. He can slide his fingers back in more comfortably now. Rin probably would’ve just laid there and tolerated it, so…

Sousuke glances to the side as pressure constricts his hand. A soft squeeze. Comfort? Reassurance? Pain? He doesn’t know. But even here, he feels Rin’s pulse racing in his wrist, through his palm. But it’s the gentle breath of his name that draws his eyes from their hands to Rin’s face. He’s heard his voice, his name, but never like this. If Rin wants his attention, he’s got it without any hesitation or chance to break free. The sight before him is impossible to leave; Rin on his side, bangs hanging in sweeps across his face, eyes almost glowing and the red on his cheeks, lips parted just enough to show his teeth… and the long expanse of a toned torso illuminated via the moonlight, shoulders and collarbones and upper chest and stomach bared between the bicep-caught sagging fall/fold of Rin’s shirt.

Mad? Why eve would you think that?! Discouraged? … It might be more beneficial if he had been discouraged. He’s anything but right now. A little stunned, but heating up… Sousuke blinks at the comment. Shouldn’t do-- … oh. Kissing upside down. That is a little strange isn’t it.] Aa. [… now what? Second kiss. Definitely not as awkward-resulting as the first, but… mh…] I want to… again.

[Has he always been this warm? No. He’s pretty sure he hasn’t. It’s only because of the circumstances that he’s changed, curled up into a hot, embarrassed, excited mess. Physically, it’s true Sousuke’s contributed to that, but there’s also the bond between god and shinki he has to consider. What Sousuke feels, Rin feels. Heat on top of heat, one raw emotion overlapping the other. It’s no wonder his heart feels about ready to burst. He’s pushing the limit of what his body can hold. Knowing that, at least he can focus on settling down. Maybe. If he takes deep breaths and shuts his eyes, settles a free hand over his chest to understand why his heartbeat won’t come back down... But then he’s looking at Sousuke again, the link between their fingers, and his body no longer rests within his control. When they battle together, the situation is different. He can channel their combined energy and passion into power, swift attacks, success. Here... what can he do?

Well... he supposes there’s only one thing. And that’s what they’ve been doing for the last minute already.

Another moment passes and Rin finds himself staring at their joined hands. The way they fit like puzzle pieces, the strength yet gentleness keeping them from slipping apart. Without much thought, he absently brushes the back of Sousuke’s palm with the pad of his thumb. Still warm. Still excited.

Still a little scary.

Ever the risk taker though, of course Sousuke choose those next words before he’s even caught his breath, and at first Rin can only stare, eyes slowly peeking up at his partner’s face. Studying. Analyzing. Making sense of what he can while he can still see clearly. Want to... again? Again and again... How many again’s will they give themselves before the sun finally rises? Weakly, he manages a light scoff. Listen to him. Overwhelmed by something most other people barely bat an eyelash to. Still. Here they are. And there Sousuke is, owning his heartstrings, wanting more, wanting again and again and again until, for once tonight, they can be satisfied. Whatever that means.

He’s still panting when he follows the curve of Sousuke’s wrist up along his forearm, then with one more flutter outside their window, he answers.]

... Come closer. [Can’t accomplish much of anything when they’re still not properly face to face.]

[How many times has he touched Rin before? Why have none of them ever felt like this? A warmth that both comforts him and excites him at the same time. They’ve shared this bed for weeks, yet now it feels different than it’s ever before. A good kind of different, but also kind of scary. What they do tonight… what they’ve said already… It changes “everything” between them. Despite the flustered uncertainty inside him, there’s determination; Sousuke doesn’t regret his choice to do or say what he has tonight.

Still, during their brief respite, he does remember that bond between god and shinki. It’s impossible not to; he’s always trying to monitor his feelings, even unconsciously, to try and lessen any burden on Rin. It’s annoying, he knows both of them hate it, but they have to deal with it. So now, with Sousuke already dealing with the results of confession, kissing, and, well… you know… ALL of it, and Rin dealing with the same… Sousuke tries to calm himself down. Both for Rin’s sake, and because the larger boy’s embarrassed about all the feelings inside him. Feelings Rin would also feel. Happiness, embarrassment, frustration, curiosity, something hotter that’s even more embarrassing than this whole awkward mess…

He doesn’t move more than the shift of their arms and rearrangement of their hands. Focuses on taking a few breaths, calming himself down, looking at the falling sakura out the window instead of Rin lying beside him. Sousuke feels Rin’s eyes on him, he’s always been good at that, but he doesn’t return the gaze yet. Give Rin a chance to try and breathe a little at least. The gaze slides down to their hands and Sousuke instinctively tightens his grip a little, the pads of his fingers brushing between Rin’s knuckles as well, semi-mirroring the way Rin’s thumb moves over the back of his own hand.

But Sousuke can’t control it forever. He wants to move forward. Like always (in most things). If they’re going to “like” like each other, you know… He holds his breath for a moment before turning his head to the side and gazing at Rin, a few of the longer parts of his spikey bangs falling on the bed. Rin’s looking at him again and Sousuke’s not sure what he’s looking for in his face. Not about to ask either. That’d be even more awkward. But, Rin’s the one that asked “again” first back at the park, right? Sousuke gets a turn next; it’s only fair!

The scoff, however… is not what he expects and the swimmer frowns just slightly.] Oy. [Isn’t this supposed to be romantic? (It’s actually par for their course: awkward.) And people who do this without batting an eyelash are either already coupled or they’re people who don’t care to make attachments. … Coupled. Is that… them now? Are they really saying… that? And his heart picks up the pace again, leaving his breath slightly short in Sousuke’s throat. Dammit. The pink tries to come back to his face and he tries to will it away. He fails.

Sousuke’s breath hitches and his fingers twitch. Rin’s light touches trail up the curve of his wrist and the sensation tickles a little until it gets to his forearm. Finally though, there’s some speech…and it’s that speech. The flush dials up a bit and Sousuke blinks, lips parted a sliver with a tiny little sound of surprise. Closer… Can Rin handle closer? For a few seconds, he hesitates, both for himself and for Rin. Then moves, the sheets hissing slightly and the mattress making a cacophony (sounds like it with the breath-holding circumstances) as Sousuke shifts.

Rin’s already taken care of the whole “upside down” thing, so… it’s only fair that it be Sousuke who maneuvers his long body closer. Their knees bump and he pauses… but then slowly moves to glide one ankle over Rin’s, Achilles’ tendon hooking around the back of his friend’s as if to make sure neither of them spring apart all of a sudden. Sousuke tucks his free arm under his head—no he extends it so he doesn’t have his elbow in Rin’s face. And finally stops, leaving them an inch or so apart.]

…

[He’s not going to try to say anything. Just lets his eyes close and leans in once again to instigate another kiss. Softer this time, more explorative, slower so they have time to move and make things… fit or feel better. And try not to get overwhelmed at the way Rin’s lips feel against his own.]

[For as awkward and uncomfortable as their internal bond as god and shinki can be, admittedly, especially at times like these, the warmth outweighs the negative... and, in a way, he feels closer to Sousuke than he’s ever had before. He feels as if there’s a third eye inside of him, monitoring and protecting his best friend even when he never asks for it. Not only that, but he’s also learning tiny facets he never dreamed he’d see otherwise. Hiding from Rin, lying to Rin... Both now seem to be rendered impossible. Tonight only just knocked down the last few remaining barriers between their friendship and their partnership. From here... Who knows how much farther they have to go?

Maybe it’s not smart to think so far ahead into the future, especially a future so brand new, it’s not yet clear. That said, he’s thankful when at last he can start to quiet his breathing after Sousuke’s shifted his focus elsewhere. Outside, the petals, the shadows. And all the while Rin continues to watch, finding his own personal peace in observing his best friend’s face from a perfect distance. He only knows he’s blushing because prior knowledge of his best friend tells him so. He’ll look away, rub his neck... then blush. Small blushes, just barely visible beneath each teal eye. ... Once more he runs his thumb over the back of Sousuke’s hand, mostly because it feels nice, partly because he wants to understand if he likes it at all.

Understanding his rival Sousuke was simple, his best friend just the same. But this–

Couple. Couple... Is that what they are?

He wonders it as teal eyes turn and meet his once more. Wonders it again as the bed creaks, his heartbeat races between his ears, and the pillow beside him fills with the comfort of a familiar presence. Already his body tells him to sleep (he has everything in place as he should before bed). And yet... Sousuke’s linking their ankles. He’s squeezing his hand and closing his eyes. Leaning in, closer in, so much closer in. ... Rin meets those lips a little less than halfway, his own eyes having slipped shut and free hand ducking under his pillow for some extra leverage. God, he’s so gentle. Part of Rin wants to pick up the pace to make sure this isn’t some kind of dream. He’ll wake up soon, the sun will be greeting them through their window...he’ll find himself in his lower bunk with Sousuke still fast asleep beside him.

A charming thought. Romantic. Ideal. ... Happy.

Experimentally he starts meeting every other kiss with his own. Slow to start, the dull smack of lips against lips filling the silence. His foot twitches against the bed, the grooves in his heel fitting somehow with Sousuke’s, and at some point or another he’s gently tugging with his leg until it’s bent at the knee and their chests just about touch too. ... Ah. Right. They’ve still got their shirts on. Hell, his is practically fallen off now that he thinks about it. Sousuke, on the other hand... Rin’s eyes slip open mid-kiss to find his free hand’s round a mind of its own, middle and forefinger lightly catching the edge of his shinki’s collar between them, thumb trying to peel back the layer centimeter by centimeter to expose more skin to its touch. Ngh... how the hell does his chest fit in these clothes without popping a button off.

Wait. Stupid question!

By now he’s distracted from kissing, lips still but parted to allow air in and out. ... His tongue just barely moves in before stopping and retreating behind his teeth. Red. So very red. Just gonna keep staring down now. Anywhere but forward.]

... This is probably the part where I tell you I’ve never... done this.

[He’d be lying if he said there hasn’t been times where he’s wanted the feelings to go in reverse. Not just to share the burden between himself and Rin, or the share that embarrassing idea his god feels what he does and thus knows some secrets, but also because Sousuke wants to experience Rin’s emotions. To be closer to him as well. He knows his best friend, understands him so well, he can tell what Rin’s thinking without him saying anything. But there’s still an edge Rin has over him, and the swimmer’s mixed nature of protective and competitive always rubs a little the wrong way at that. But, it’s not something Rin’s chosen or can fix and often Sousuke finds himself smiling a little foolishly at his internal thoughts. There’s no reason to be upset with Rin… and he knows Rin never uses their connection to his advantage. He really is… the best person the shinki could have been paired up with.

More than anything, Sousuke’s grateful for it. For Rin.

So then… what now? There’s something brand new in front of them, a path that’s full of silly stumbling and confusing twists and turns, all amid that romantic ideology Rin exudes. Is this anything like the other teenager’s thought of during his life? A snow-dusted fantasy where their reflections kiss beneath a park stream’s bridge? A fire-lit touch sneaked behind a dinner for two? An accidental connection between two college dormmates who happened to look up from the bottom bunk at the same time as the other leaned over the edge to ask a question? Sousuke’s not sure he has his own expectations; his memories gone, he has only his time here with Rin to go on. But… there are some things.

Like… for one… he hoped—~~knew~~—his first would be with Rin. The when and where’s hadn’t really mattered. Pool in the afternoon, bed at night, sakura grove in the morning, kitchen at evening. But it would be with Rin… and Sousuke’d be the one to instigate it. For all his precious friend’s romantic thoughts, he really is a hopeless idiot. What happened after, he never knew what to expect. From tears to yells to laughter to a punch on the ~~shoulder~~ jaw. Small vague things, tender things he thought would be best. Details didn’t matter, he didn’t dream of his first kiss, only knew one day it would happen. And he simply wanted it to be with someone he really cared for.

A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips, a stupid, foolish fluttering feeling embarrassing his stomach and chest. Looks like he got his hopes.

The pink petal-shaped flush beneath his eyes doesn’t go away. Especially not with his internal thoughts and feelings, and the sensation of a soft thumb rubbing gentle over the back of his hand. If he were standing up, he’d probably rub at his neck and look away. But he’s lying down and he’s already looked away. So… Rin gets to see the rare color on his skin. It’s fair. Self-conscious, but fair. Rin knows he’s blushing anyways. Probably tease him about it quietly if he didn’t show him sooner or later. It feels… strange, in a nice way, to experience such a thing with Rin. From the weight of his body so close to his own to the small connections of warmth shared between their arms and legs. Until their… third? Third kiss. Three in one night.

Is this going too fast? Does he care? Rin’s touch sends those stupid butterflies from his stomach to every damn part of his body. Face, chest, shoulders, hands, feet, back, neck, heart… hips. It’s not some dream; it’s real and Sousuke’s happy it is. He was just one, little soul, lost and shivering after his death, with nothing to look forward to but a day before fading away into nothing forever. Instead, a warm hand, a tear-stained face with clear red eyes, reached out for him with an invitation to “let me give you life.” Out of millions of others… Sousuke was Rin’s. Rin, who told him he was special, who protected him and gave him purpose, who made mistakes and encouraged him to laugh, who struggled and shared his pain with him… a normal, teenage boy like him…

To me, you’re perfect. You’re my reason to live, Rin.

Oy… What number is this? Wait, how many times has Rin kissed him all of a sudden? Sousuke hears the gentle break between them, a puff of breath covering glossy lips. The muscles in his calf twitch as Rin’s foot shifts against his own, tender skin between his ankle and Achille’s tendon glowing in a warmt tickle as it’s brushed over. He’s pulling at his leg and Sousuke lifts, climbing Rin’s lower limb until his knee bends and their so close together, their heartbeats are audible. Sousuke feels the pause mid-kiss, feels eyes on his face, and fingers catching at the collar of his shirt. Not accidental. Because it’s pulling, opening his shirt in a descending V over his chest. The slope of his collarbones becoming visible in the light, sliding below his throat to direct attention towards the flat of his sternum flanked between his strong pectorals. (~~URUSEI! You buy his clothes; if a button pops off, it’s cause you stuffed him into a size too small! … stupid question indeed. Now wipe off your drool.~~)

Sousuke breaks the kiss completely this time, leaving him breathing soft and heavy against Rin’s mouth. The new air on his chest seems to freeze and burn at the same time. He feels hot and cold, and his shirt and vest are suddenly annoying. Teal eyes open… and find Rin’s eyes plunged down below his face. … looking at his half-exposed chest? That’s his guess anyways. Especially when the embarrassed mumble comes floating up from below his chin. Sousuke blinks at the confession, a tiny sound of whatever coming from his lips. Now? And yet… it’s perfectly Rin. Charming.

He pulls his free hand back, slips it between them, and gently takes Rin’s chin between his thumb and forefinger, pad brushing below his bottom lip and index curled against the soft skin below his chin. With a tender lift, Sousuke encourages Rin to raise his head and look back at him, teal eyes warm and just a tiny bit nervous as well.] Guess that makes us even… [It’s not like he’s got any more experience than Rin. Even less, considering his memory loss. But…] So, is this the part where I say “don’t stop, Rin”?

[For Rin, he never expected to share his first kiss with an old friend... and for that matter, he never expected to share it with anyone in particular. He only knew it would happen at some point, once his career settled down a bit and he could focus on more than just records and claiming his place at the top of the international stage. How, when, where, with who... None of that crossed his mind. Sure, he's a romantic idiot... but he's an idiot. And that means, for all his detailed ideals and dreams of the future, he's woefully unprepared, at least where relationships are concerned. Secretly then, he's worried. It's not as if Sousuke's any more prepared, but... he's always so calm. He'd probably fool anyone into thinking he's done all this before while Rin stumbles his way through his mistakes. So... he doesn't want to embarrass himself. But more than anything, he doesn't want to disappoint Sousuke.

He'd been the one to kiss him first, after all. He thought of it first, wanted it first, might have even considered it long before they planned this night together. On top of that all that, well... despite being his number one rival, Sousuke's someone Rin looks up to, though it won't seem like that on the surface. Swimming prowess aside, there's many things to admire in his best friend. He's headstrong, selfless, determined and all around cool for lack of a better word. Where Rin rushes ahead, Sousuke's content to wait. Where Rin's anger flares up, Sousuke's quick to douse those flames. He knows he can't mold himself into that image exactly, but sometimes, here and there... he's felt intimidated.

If anyone's perfect here, it's you.

Rin's lost track of how many times they've kissed by now, though he's not sure which times he should be counting in the first place. Is each time their lips touch considered one kiss? Or does it only count if they've stayed pressed together for longer than a few seconds? Anyway, with how foggy his mind is right now, it's not like he can keep his thoughts organized. So he just... moves. Doing what his body tells him feels right and what Sousuke's reactions tell him feels good. Seems like he doesn't mind that he's messing around with his shirt right now. Doesn't mean he's going to rip it right off or anything, but it's a start, isn't it?

Ngh, it's probably for the best that he decided to pull away and stop when he did. Too much kissing seems to mean too much heat and too much heat leads to not enough thinking.

He feels the exact opposite of charming after he's finished saying something so stupid, and now that he's caught himself staring straight at his best friend's exposed skin (and his own hand keeping it that way) his face turns beet red all the way from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. He hasn't done this and yet here he is, already trying to undress the guy like he's some kind of pervert! Rin stiffens, throat bobbing when he swallows, but before he can duck his chin in towards his chest he feels that familiar touch on his face... and almost immediately begins to melt. No, dammit, don't do that. Don't tip his head, don't make him look at you, don't be so... gentle.

... Your eyes are beautiful.

W-wait, what?

Before he knows it, he's already meeting that warm, nervous gaze with his own, eyes watery but not on the verge of crying, pupils blown and maybe just a tiny bit unfocused. He still can't decide where to look. Where would be most appropriate? What will give his heart the best chance to slow down, calm down, breathe.

Don't stop, Rin.

And as if on command, his heart flutters anyway, hoping to reach through his sternum and connect with the one across. He wants to feel him. All of him. ... He wants them to be connected far deeper and closer than they've ever been before. Exactly how remains a mystery, but Rin still wants to try. They can take the first steps. Faster, closer... don't stop, Rin.

Squeezing his shinki's hand once more, Rin shifts just enough for the pad of Sousuke's thumb to press against his lips. He could laugh. He could duck his head anyway and finally let sleep take over. Or he could part his lips to softly catch that finger between his teeth, tongue cushioning the tip as he turns his gaze back down towards Sousuke's shirt. For whatever reason, it's what he chooses to do, though he has a sneaking suspicion it has something to do with how itchy his gums suddenly feel. Ngh. His skin is so warm...]

Idiot... Don't say it like that. [he mumbles, teeth baring down a touch harder before lightening up again for his tongue to absently lave over an indent or two left behind. Are their hips touching? He can't even tell. They're mostly a tangle of limbs. Outside, the cherry blossoms are restless in the night air.]

I don't want to do anything wrong. [But...] ... How far are we supposed to go?

[Embarrassing and disappointing are two different things… and Sousuke’s already embarrassed. He’s not sure which would disappoint him more, either of them failing and leaving or stopping altogether and trying to go to sleep. Considering them, the latter’s probably more disappointing, since it means they gave up, but… It’d be the easier choice right now. Or is still the easier choice, but one that’s rapidly losing its easiness with every passing second. The room’s getting warmer, his breath’s getting tighter, and it’s getting harder and harder to breathe. Caught up in the warmth glowing over the surface of his body, the gentle flow of Rin’s breaths so close to his own, Sousuke’s not sure he’s able to pull away anymore.

When had this started? The thought of kissing his best friend never entered his mind when they stepped out to dinner this evening. Absent from their conversation above the river in their private little room. And yet, when Rin’s voice rose, when his eyes teared up, and things felt like they were going to pull apart at the seams… he kissed him. Can he really say he’s been harboring the desire to kiss Rin? Sousuke’s not sure. He can’t say he’s never had the passing thought about what his best friend’s lips would feel like. But… nothing serious or anything to dwell on. And yet, he’d kissed him. Because he likes Rin. It’s amusing that he’s mildly surprised at that; they’ve already gone through so much together that anyone outside “them” would probably assume they’re a couple. Easily. But only just now has Sousuke realized his own attraction.

Kind of sad. After all… there are many things he likes about Rin. His swimming skills naturally captivated Sousuke, enabling the taller boy to break past his own boundaries to swim again. But beyond that, Sousuke admires Rin. His perseverance and drive, his emotions that he’s not afraid to show to the world, the natural light and warmth he radiates that draw people to him, his fiery temper and charismatic personality, an amazing young man that makes people look twice no matter what he’s doing. Sousuke naturally carries himself well, but… there are times when he lowers his pride and admits that he relies on Rin. To light the fire inside him, to catch his arm and stop him from blindly powering forward, to remind him of the importance of his own dreams.

Sousuke likes to think he’s whole, but in reality, he’s half… and Rin completes him.

Even like this, flush-faced and sweating, eyes glistening with lips half parted, Sousuke finds Rin charming… alluring. Left to his own devices, the red-haired swimmer would’ve drown with his head down in Sousuke’s chest. It’s probably selfish of him, but he’s not willing to surrender those red eyes yet. He wants to see, wants to lift Rin’s head to see his eyes again. The emotions he loves seeing on Rin’s face are as clear as ever as he whispers those tender words to him, a mixture of teasing and calming all at once. Don’t look away… I want to be here with you. How can he be anything but gentle? A strong as muscle, as hot as fire, as tender as sakura petals… his Rin.

Sousuke’s breath catches silently as he meets Rin’s eyes once more. His red gaze arrests him effortlessly, earning a soft swallow as he wonders just how easy it would be to drown within his partner’s gaze. Wet but not crying, black pupils wide from his own heat, a glaze of unfocused attention absorbing his entire face rather than a single point. Even a single aspect is enough to leave Sousuke unconsciously gazing at Rin’s face across the breakfast table; so many all at once in this heated atmosphere? It really is getting harder to breathe right now.

The butterflies in his stomach erupt upwards, swarming through Sousuke’s chest and pressing to his ribs. Fanning the beat of his heart till it’s racing in time with the thrum pounding in the chest flush to his. An exposed chest, laid bare between the open curtains of Rin’s shirt, rending Sousuke secretly envious of what’s obviously a far cooler state than his own half-open coverings. But his envy’s no match for his attraction and he’s far too lost in gazing at Rin’s face and chest to think of himself. They’re so close now, closer than they’ve ever been. Not physical distance, but… something deeper, more intimate. The poignant moment when the fabric they normally cover themselves in ultimately slides away. Though the swimmers’ skintight legskins leave very little to the imagination, in addition to accidental slips or to and from’s the bathroom and shower, the reality that this moment is moving towards that most visceral moment between two people…

Sousuke blinks as fingers tighten on his hand and he’s well aware of the tip of his thumb brushing between the partition of Rin’s lips. A warm breath washes over his skin, his eyes drop from red and fall onto the glossy rims of Rin’s mouth as they part around his flesh, and with a gentle flash of white, Sousuke’s hooked. A single bite… and it takes hold of his heart as easily as the first sharp point imprints on the pad of his thumb. Flesh curves, the sharp edge pricking a pinpoint of sensation in his nerves. His focus sweeps down to that singular instance as the tip of his thumb is met with the lifted warmth of a molten tongue.

Perhaps it’s as irrational as Sousuke initially kissing Rin in the part. But… there’s no resistance from him or urge to pull back. Rin’s mouth is warm, the fourfold sensation of torrid breath, soft lips, sharp tooth, and heated tongue threatening to melt his mind without hesitation. It’s only a second or two before Sousuke summons his muscles. Tendons pull, skin stretches, and the taller swimmer silently presses his thumb down. His skin dents further on Rin’s tooth, turning the pinprick into a sharp point. A pixel of icy heat joins them together, a cone of tender pain surrounding it, and he wants to push harder, surge forward, until something breaks… and it’s not only the precious Yumeki that will be Rin’s mark on him.]

There’s no other way to say it… [The words fumble around his thumb, but herald the release of pressure. Instead of a break, his skin’s laved over by the same warm tongue, extending the sensations the tip of his thumb’s been enjoying to the rest of his digit. He waits quietly, not pushing or rolling inside Rin’s mouth. But Sousuke’s eyes slowly darken, a soft, glossy sheen becoming jade from interest beyond simple admiration. Their bodies are too close to know where his begins and Rin’s end. Not that he wants to know such a thing right now.

But when Rin finally speaks, Sousuke pauses, momentarily surprised. Anything… wrong? The swimmer’s face melts into a soft, lopsided smile, lips parted as a gossamer breath of bemusement slips free.] Rin… You can’t do anything “wrong” right now. [They don’t even know what’s “right” to do in this instance. If his best friend’s got a measurement or expectation he’s holding himself to, well… Sousuke doesn’t. This is them, Rin and Sousuke, right now. Nothing else. As for that other question, however… the taller swimmer feels his face slowly darken again, the cords in his strong throat shifting as he swallows.

How far? Supposed to? How should he know? And yet… Sousuke lifts his free hand and slowly trips two fingers into one of Rin’s elbow-bound sleeves. Warmed by the heat of his body, it feels good on his fingers and he takes his time gathering tiny folds into the indentions on his fingers. His beautiful god… his best friend… his athletic rival… and his hopeless romantic baka. With an effortless tug, Sousuke encourages the sleeve over and off of Rin’s elbow, guiding the material with two fingers traipsing hesitantly along the frame of Rin’s forearm. If he’s really to answer that question, then…]

Off.

[Both of us. I want to see you. All of you.]

[Belatedly he worries there might be something wrong with what they’re doing, not as two friends or even as two young men, but as god and shinki. When he last spoke to Bishamon, there wasn’t any talk about romance, because there wasn’t a need to bring it up. Not just romance, but... intimacy. Physically, emotionally being so close they’re not just touching, they’re joined. So far he can think of a couple repercussions. He could overwhelm himself if they go too far, too fast. He could regret the entire evening if tomorrow comes and Sousuke’s no longer at his side, gone from this world or taken away after a tragic accident in battle. The possibilities scare Rin to no end... but are they enough to keep him from staying here, touching and exploring his best friend like he’s never done before?

Maybe if he thinks of this another way, it won’t be so frightening. Maybe if he thinks of them as they usually are, as they should be... he won’t want to stop. That’s right. That’s what he promised himself at the start of this evening anyway, right? Right now there’s no gods, no shinki, no ayakashi or the two shores. I only want us to be... us. Like we should be.

He notices Sousuke’s been pressed against his tongue longer than expected and in his surprise he reflexively darts his tongue back towards his throat. But he can still taste him. The natural salt from his skin mixed with the ever-present, bitter twinge of chlorine...He must think he’s strange. He’s losing his mind, he’s acting out of line, that stupid beer is finally catching up with his head. But... he knows what he’s doing. All of it he’s doing out of his own free will. And Sousuke... he doesn’t seem to mind. Hn. So carefree. Rin wonders if he’s going through the same conflicts in his heart right now. Hard to tell when he’s looking at him so intensely and his heart won’t stop flipping, feeling light and heavy all at once beside his own. It’s like some sort of convoluted dance going on in his chest. Sousuke’s emotions and his, trying and failing to come together like water and oil.

Which is why he’s worried he’s bound to do something wrong. His mind, heart and body haven’t all settled. It’s easy to read all the books and train for something like swimming, but this...? What are the steps? Where are the boundaries? How can he know if he’s doing something right? He wants to laugh at his partner for what he says then. Of course he can do something wrong. There’s so much room to mess up. The bed, the room, the entire world have all never felt so big...

... He doesn’t expect the touch, so when it comes he widens his eyes and quickly darts his gaze downward. His sleeves. He almost forgot they were falling off his arms. At first he thinks Sousuke’s going to tug them back up... but that doesn’t make much sense. Not when he’s taking his time, gathering the folds between his fingers, guiding but not tugging until the crumpled fabric bunches up just below his elbows. He’s only managed one arm, but already Rin’s whole torso feels freezing cold, warmed only once he flickers his gaze back up and sees just how deeply Sousuke’s staring back. Piercing teal, jade shadows, reminding him of the deepest wave beneath the sea.

Before he knows it, Rin’s body responds without a hitch, one ankle hooking tighter around Sousuke’s to give himself enough support when he rocks inward and reclaims his position up top, his other leg swinging over while the other nudges to hopefully tip the other swimmer onto his back. Unlike before, he’s chosen to keep his hands out of the sheets, and unlike before he now sits (just a little awkwardly) right above Sousuke’s waist. Now out of the shadows, his skin meets the moonlight directly, already pale skin now white and slightly glistening from a few stray beads of sweat. Fingers stay crossed below his chest, uselessly twisting into his sleeves since he can’t yet decide what he wants to do with them. They’re already falling off, but now he’s expected to push them the rest of the way? How... can he do that without looking... stupid?

Out of habit, Rin turns his head away, face back to bright red, and hugs his arms tighter to himself. Shit. How did he think this was a smart idea? He thought the sudden change in position would give him that boost of confidence, but now he’s on open display here! It’s humiliating.]

Um... [Yeah, they’ve undressed and all that in front of each other countless times. Just... never like this. Should he be slow? Is he supposed to say something... sexy? Ugh, no, that’s ridiculous. As if he even knows what that sounds like! In the end, Rin waits a beat more... then starts tugging his arms free with a few shrugs and pushes. Not the most graceful, but it does get his shirt off, which he’s already bunched up and tossed to the edge of the bed in a panicked rush. ... Back to looking away. And crossing his arms. As if that can cover him up now.] It’s off!

[Why did he say that!? There was no need for it! It’s already obvious!

Once again, the cherry blossoms fall still.]

[The thought’s crossed Sousuke’s mind as well; despite being god and shinki for as long as he’s known Rin, he doesn’t feel like he has the experience other pairs do. Whether this is going into a bond they’re not supposed to have or if Rin’s going to be able to handle dealing with both of their emotions simultaneously, Sousuke finds nothing to compare it to, no one to know it from. It’s his fault, of course, for not engaging as well as he could have, but even if he had… well… He’s not exactly someone to go around asking about such a sensitive subject. Though… knowing Rin’s connection to him, the nature of god and shinki relationships… maybe it’s not a bad idea to go out and ask. The route they’re going, the feelings he’s giving into… they’re not something shallow or separated. If it keeps going, if “I like you” really means that, Sousuke’s going to be connected to Rin… intimately.

Asides from that, however, he can think of no other ramifications. They’re friends, best friends, partners and rivals. None of those things have affected their relationship as god and shinki. So why should… well… boyfriends? Change it? Che. Simply thinking the question drags more heat to his face and Sousuke averts his gaze slightly. Embarrassing, but it keeps fluttering around in his chest in a stupid-but-good way. Because in the end… I want to be with you. Nothing else really matters. Just you… Just us. How he’s always been the most comfortable.

Oy. Is that really what Rin’s going to look like after their kiss? Peering at him curiously, flustered worry darting around in his eyes. Even if Rin’s made it a secret, Sousuke knows there are times when his best friend admires him. Calm when things are chaos around them, laid back despite the awkward situation unfolding in front of them, impassive in the face of intense emotions. For all that Rin thinks of those things as admirable, Sousuke sometimes worries about them. He doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve like Rin, he’s not comfortable expressing his emotions, hates showing weakness. But that’s all on the outside; inside, he’s just as flustered as the red-haired teenager perched on his lap right now. Conflicted over his thoughts and desires simultaneously. But still intensely focused on Rin.

Mostly because if he weren’t, he’d be standing in the shower with the lights turned off, mentally or physically banging his head against the wall while his nerves run wild.

Even if Rin doesn’t laugh, Sousuke can practically hear the embarrassed scoff in the other swimmer’s head. Well, yeah, they can do something “wrong” right now. Someone falls off the bed, accidentally bite a lip too hard (more on Rin’s part than Sousuke’s), twist an arm or leg wrong with all these limb-tangled rolling around. Laugh mid kiss. Plenty of opportunities to mess up. But… who’s comparing them? Who are they judging? They should be free to do whatever they want; it’s their intimacy. Sousuke’s got expectations, just like Rin (probably nowhere near as pink though), but he’d be an idiot to hold Rin to fulfilling them when he’s got no idea if they’re even realistic! Mataku… their first kiss ended up with one of them crying and the other one yelling.

This.. isn’t like that now. Not when Rin’s eyes jerk down and latch onto his hand pulling his sleeve further towards his wrist. A small sliver of his mind is urging to yank the cloth off without giving either of them time to think, but the rest knows it’s a stupid, hormone-fueled thought. Give Rin time, let him know what he’s going for, space to make a decision. Look at him, eyes on eyes, lips parted in a silent breath. He’s here, he’s alive, he’s doing this, Rin. It’s all right. It’s just us. Those words aren’t only for Rin either…

Oy! Sousuke’s eyes widen when the world shifts. Pressure blooms on his ankle, pressing the tendon towards the inside of his anklebone, and he lets out a slight grunt of surprise and sensation as everything tilts. Landing on his back with a soft sound, Sousuke sprawls out momentarily, one long arm falling to the bed, the other instinctively catching onto Rin’s upper arm, skin to skin, to prevent him from falling. The sheets dent around Sousuke’s heavier body, radiating from his outline and drawing attention to his own half-exposed torso in the moonlight. Just like that, it goes still again. Rin’s sitting atop him, butt right over his waist, presenting his entire torso on display. Pale skin soaked in silver moonlight, the mounds of his pectorals and elongated abdominals glowing ethereally amid the rays, the shadows of his torso’s dips and valleys licking dimmer lines over the contours of his chest and stomach. Only made even more captivating by the crystal beads of sweat glimmering on his flesh. Sousuke can’t say anything even if he wants to; he’s… stunned. ~~”Enchanted” more like it, but that’s way too romantic for the whale shark.~~

Sousuke’s not sure “what” he’s doing either, but seeing Rin sitting above him with his arms around his chest, looking away and red-faced… embarrassed… it doesn’t sit well with him. His heart’s hammering in his chest and he feels his nerves creeping under his skin. If he does something wrong, if he goes too fast… No, this isn’t about him right now. It’s about his best friend feeling “humiliated” and unsure about himself. Like so many times when Sousuke’d sat on the side of the pool, angry and humiliated that he couldn’t even float on his back without panicking. Each time, Rin was there, giving him the assurance that he needed to try again, move forward. Right now, he should be focusing on Rin and helping him feel better. Neither of them know what they’re doing, but Sousuke could at least take the lead. So many times, Rin had caught his hand and tugged him forward into a new experience. So this time… Just… how to go about it without ending up looking like an idiot or sending both of them scurrying for the blankets and two days of awkward silence.

Kiss. Right. A kiss. That’d be the best place to start. But… with Rin sitting up over his waist like this, it’s not like he can reach his mouth for another kiss. Sousuke’s taller than Rin, but not that much. This is far different than seeing Rin’s naked upper body above the unfairly-tight cling of his legskins. This is… intimate. Devoid of shirt, devoid of covering, exposed. It’s off. … Sousuke blinks, and then his stun breaks with a soft, warm breath fluffing out of a tender half-smile. Really, Rin. The most romantic thing to say. Well, the decision’s a kiss; that much is clear. And since he can’t reach it, he’ll take it up there.

The sheets hiss softly and the mattress makes a luxurious sigh as Sousuke’s sits up. Without using his arms, it leaves the cords in his neck rippling, the just-barely-showing top of his abdominals flexing like a chiseled Grecian statue come to life, his very-much-visible chest muscles tightening in an Adonis-like swell as he pulls himself from supine to seated in one, smooth motion. Rin’s not looking—he assumes—so Sousuke lowers his eyes, tracing the sweat-glistening flesh from Rin’s chin down to his neck, over his collarbones, until he’s facing his god’s chest. Flushed, pale, illuminated (well, now currently blocked out by the shadow of the taller swimmer’s spiky hair), and… there’s no other word he can use but enticing. It frightens him for a moment; he’s never felt such a way towards Rin before. But it’s here now… desire. Attraction.

Kiss. Right. Kiss… Without his partner’s mouth. We can’t mess up like this. This is our adventure. Together. Sousuke closes his eyes and leans forward. His hand remains wrapped around Rin’s bicep, so the other swimmer feels the way his long fingers tighten around the swell of his muscle. Warmth touches his lips… Rin’s skin. His chest presses to Sousuke’s lips or is it the other way around? Somewhere on the left side of his right chest muscle, just shy of his sternum. A kiss. It feels different… Rin’s skin. It’s not his lips, something else entirely. He feels his nose brushing against his god’s chest an inch above his mouth. But it’s the first step. Balanced with Rin straddled his lap, Sousuke tugs his other arm free of the sheets and slowly hooks it around the back of Rin’s body, folding it over the diamond of his back to hold him upright. Molten air glides free of Sousuke’s mouth as he lets out his breath, spreading over Rin’s chest like a ghostly fog. A kiss… well…

Guess he’s done step one. Now he’s got to figure out what’s next. Another kiss in the meantime. Another breath. Another kiss. Another breath. Slowly working his way around the small area of skin he’s mouthing. The sensation of his flesh already brands itself to his lips. Heat… smooth… something that faintly bites at his tender skin… sweat… chlorine. But at least it gives Rin some time to… who knows. Sousuke’s still trying to decide between attempting his tongue (sad it’s stranger to go around licking Rin’s chest than it is to shove his tongue into his mouth) or just turning his head and nuzzling his face against his god’s torso (also kind of strange, but it’s definitely intimate).

For better or for worse, they’re walking down this path now. Walking together.]

[If he’s supposed to be sexy right now, he certainly doesn’t feel like it, but that’s not any fault of Sousuke’s by any means, no matter how tempting it is in this state to say otherwise. It’s not that he's self conscious about his body. It’s just... presenting it this way doesn’t sit right with him yet. Showing off in front of the competition at tournaments is one thing and one thing he can handle well. This... All he wants to do is sit still and wait for something to cover him up again. Blankets, darkness, anything to distract Sousuke from the nervous fidgeting from his fingers or the irritating way he worries at his lip. That’s not exactly fair though, is it? Not practical either, considering how far they’ve gotten. It’s his job to guide Sousuke along anyway. With training and fighting... maybe even this? God he hopes not. They couldn’t have turned him into the God of Love for this. What kind of cruel joke would that be?

Anyway, while he's sitting here stewing in his embarrassment, the bed beneath him shifts and he instinctively uncrosses his arms to throw them out to the side, hands flat against the mattress to keep himself from toppling over. Uh. What does Sousuke think he's doing? He just flipped them over, so he better not be getting any ideas to change that! Oh... ok, so there's movement, but not in the way he was expecting. It's ten times more mesmerizing actually... and probably something he doesn't want to keep looking away from. Does that make him some kind of pervert? He's looked over his best friend's body before. Memorized his tone, shape, and hell, he doesn't even need to look at his clothes to know what size he needs to shop for anymore. But has he always been this... attractive? Maybe. Probably. Or maybe his sister's cursing him from across the barrier of life and death itself.

It feels like there's steam coming off his skin once they've situated themselves more comfortably on the bed, Rin scooting back and propping his knees in the blankets so Sousuke won't be constricted. Shit, he's sitting lower than he should be though. Can't be a good idea. Someone's legs are definitely going to fall asleep--]

Wh-- O-oi--!

[What's that tickling his chest right now? J-just where does he think he's kissing!? Is he even kissing? Or is it just... touching? Either way, his best friend's lips are on his chest right now and he can no doubt feel the way Rin's heart leaps up towards his throat in shock. He doesn't have much room to move. Can't inch away, can't inch closer. So all he does is sit perfectly, stone still, biting his lip while staring at the top of Sousuke's head with eyes the size of dinner plates. No, still not feeling sexy. But how the hell is he supposed to get there? Ah... ok. There's an arm around his back. A hand on his arm. Lips on his chest.

Rin shivers, bumps forming beneath Sousuke's palms, before he's finally able to do something with himself, lifting his hands up, hesitating... waiting... then letting them rest on both of his partner's shoulders, fingers curved to the shape of each muscle, skin sweaty and warm all thanks to his nerves. If he holds on a little tighter, he might be able to trick himself into thinking he knows what he's doing. He'll feel more stable, less shaky-- Or he could end up stopping when he catches something out of the corner of his eye, black and faded around the edges, standing dark in contrast to his shinki's untouched skin. Slowly Rin smooths his hand over, counting down the seconds he takes in his head, until half of that familiar mark becomes visible between the gaps in his fingers.

"夢"

... He supposes it's better than what he's used to seeing. Red, purple, bruised. The product of years and years of constant hard work and pain just to reach a dream he might never see realized. Rin's thumb passes back over the name in a gentle swoop, once, twice... before he can't stand to see it anymore and silently drops his head, forehead pressing to Sousuke's right shoulder while maroon hair spills over his back. His hand comes around instead, cupping the rounded muscle from behind and holding it close. Without realizing it, he's also squeezed his thighs on either side of Sousuke's body in some sort of awkward embrace, because he can't think of anything to say or anything else to do that won't ruin the moment.

You were alone when you made that dream. Alone when you hurt yourself. ... Alone when you died.

It's not fair.

When Rin finally speaks, his words are soft, gentle, and perhaps a little weighted because of how heavy his heart feels.]

Tell me what you want. [I want to take care of you.] I'll give it to you.

[Rin will probably blame him about his “not feeling sexy right now” regardless; Sousuke’s used to it because he knows it’s just one of Rin’s quirks. He’ll tease him about it later once they’re not in this state. Besides, he can’t hold it against Rin right now. This is the first time he’s ever done something like this. Presenting his body in such a way. It’s not like pulling off his shirt in preparation to go swimming, not like stripping his upper half and donning those skintight legskins to show off his physique to anyone who might dare challenge him in the water. This is intimate, this takes trust, asking someone to look not to evaluate the condition of his athletic prime, but instead, asking someone to look at him to evaluate just how much he likes him. The “like” like. The “I’m attracted to you” kind of like. The “I want to get naked with you” kind of like… apparently. ~~The “I don’t want anyone else to see you this way” kind of like.~~ And through all Rin’s awkwardness and discomfort, he’s still sitting atop him, nervous fidgeting, lip worrying, and all. Sousuke might’ve considered complimenting Rin on his bravery if he didn’t think it’d result in him getting punched on the head or eating a pillow.

No, he doesn’t expect Rin to “lead” him in this path. It’s not anywhere in the job description of a god to his shinki, as far as the larger swimmer can fathom. Sousuke wouldn’t want him to either; neither of them know what they’re doing right now beyond kneejerk reactions and instinctive exploration. At least that’s what Sousuke’s blaming for his “novel” idea of sitting up under Rin and putting his mouth on his chest. The tented braces of Rin’s arms on either side of him likewise encourage Sousuke to curl his legs into a loose cross-legged position, bare feet tucked against the inside of his thighs to give his best friend a more solid place to sit. While he finds himself contending with the very-real reality of being closer to Rin’s chest than he’s ever been before.

He's never not noticed his best friend’s body; from the flexing contours as he pulls himself from the pool to the still slopes as he sleeps in the bed beside him. It’s different though… Sousuke’s not looking at him to judge any changes in workout or diet; he’s not gazing in silent thought that someone like Rin would chose him to live beside. Instead, his eyes drink in details that before seemed purely health-related, objective. The curving line that starts below his shoulder joint and winds downward to form the strong outline of his pectoral. Sculpted by his training to become a sleek divide between the smooth of his chest and the stratus-like ripples of muscle over the lines of his ribs. A body toned to athletic perfection, one he’s grown so familiar with, Sousuke doesn’t have to try to recognize the shape and presence of. This very same guy… I like you. Hmph. Okay so maybe it’s more than simply “like” now.

Sousuke’s attracted to Rin.

So much for caring about getting kneed in the hips as Rin straddles his thighs or his legs going to sleep from having someone literally sitting on his femur. He swears he feels steam rising from Rin’s skin, burning against his lips and branding the sheer taste and texture of his god’s flesh on his own. He expects the started outburst above him, but it’s suddenly “annoying” in that it might be wanting him to stop. The slam of Rin’s frantic heart pounds against Sousuke’s lips, ringing clear through his chest muscle, and he leans into a deeper kiss, pressing his mouth firmly to Rin’s chest until his lips are digging against the front of his teeth. Jaws work, his chin slides down, and Sousuke opens his mouth, hot air scalding a surprisingly-breathless pant over his best friend’s flesh. It’s strange, so sudden, but he wants more… to touch him more. Taste him. Feel him everywhere. Maybe it’s driven by a frantic desire not to fail, to seem like he knows what he’s doing…

Or maybe he’s just that stupidly attracted to his best friend.]

Urusei…

[His voice is thick, hot, mouth moving with the murmured sounds as he slowly draws back just enough to resituate his head. Not looking at Rin—unable to at the moment because his face is glowing hot in embarrassment and arousal—Sousuke lets his lower jaw fall and extends his tongue. It quivers slightly, a bead of saliva welling on one of his canines before falling with a gossamer drip. Right before Rin puts his hands on his shoulders and Sousuke sucks in a tremoring gasp. Sensation flares and his shoulders instinctively round into the other swimmer’s hands, feeling the way Rin’s molding his grip to the shape of his muscles beneath the fabric of his shirt.]

Ri-…nh…

[Sousuke drops his forehead against Rin’s chest, eyes closing as his breath ripples over his lips. He doesn’t know why his shoulders are so sensitive, but they’ve always been so. And his god’s gentle touches smooths the edges of his shirts’ neck away from his collarbones, baring his flesh to the warmth of the air. Until it crests the center of his joint, exposing the first character of that name—of his name—given with a promise so long again. Caged within the warmth of Rin’s fingers, sending another shiver down Sousuke’s spine as he breathes against the other teen’s chest. A soft, choked sound, almost a whimper or a groan, bleeds over the lower curve of his partner’s pectoral, the firm spans of Sousuke’s forehead contrasting with the soft brush of spikey bangs pressing atop Rin’s heart. He turns his head slightly, unconsciously nuzzling at the young man’s chest as Rin’s thumb strokes over the brand of his name, resting so permanently within the flesh of his shoulder. Until thumb is replaced by forehead and maroon curtains spills down over the back of his shoulder. It tickles, it ignites, it tantalizes… As fingers come around from behind and cup his shoulder from the rear, sculpting over the muscle and holding him close, Sousuke’s muted voice breaks in a low, sweltering moan of relief mixed with desirous pleasure.

This is the first time either of them have held each other in such intimate ways. It feels strange, but simultaneously, Sousuke’s overcome with a sensation of peace and longing that dives straight into his core. As if he’s suddenly been reunited with someone he’s longed to be beside.] Rin… [He wants to hold him all night, forever, speak his name like this and feel his touch. Thighs clench around his body and Sousuke lifts his hips and chest, pressing them solidly to his best friend’s groin and along his inner thighs. A strange, awkward embrace, but one he wants to feel over and over. What Rin’s thinking, he surprisingly can’t guess right now. It’s about him, Sousuke knows that at least.

And Rin speaks, his voice a tender weight that tells Sousuke instantly not everything is all right. Something weighs on his god’s heart and the poignant request has far less to do with asking about Sousuke’s current pleasure and far more with asking for forgiveness for something in the past Rin’s guilting himself over. Almost pleading, as if he needs to make up for something Sousuke can’t know. Were they in any other mood, the taller swimmer would’ve called Rin out on it and confronted him. But they’re not, and he can’t help but feel some of his best friend’s heavyheartedness leak into his chest.

The bed creaks beneath Sousuke’s weight as he tilts his head, removing his forehead’s nuzzling motions in exchange for bringing his mouth back to Rin’s chest. Lips find the skin over his heart, breath fanning over a patch of pale skin made moist by his air. What he wants… what Rin can give him…] I want… [If he’s allowed to express a selfish wish right now… then…] … you to forgive yourself. [He’s talking to his heart directly, lips moving over his skin as his words emerge.] Whatever you did, whatever happened between us… It’s all right, Rin. It’s enough for me that we’re together.

[Bravery? Is there anything about this that's remotely brave?? He might not be failing outright up here, but he's still terrified out of his mind and can't bring himself to look at Sousuke directly half the time. Sure, he's sure a lot of people go through the same level of embarrassment and uncertainty when they do stuff like this, but not all of them can be this blundering and pathetic, can they? So basically, yes, it's for the best Sousuke keeps that comment filed away, never to be seen. You know, unless he does want a face full of pillow and nothing else for the rest of the night.

With more support beneath him, Rin's at least able to make himself more comfortable... though there's still the issue of whether or not he's supposed to seat his butt down completely on Sousuke's legs or keep himself propped up on his knees. Are they allowed to touch in more than one place for a longer period of time or would that be too weird, too intimate? Dammit, he still doesn't know how far they plan on going... In the end, he curses himself as he settles down, head bowed and breath held while Sousuke keeps... doing whatever it is he's doing with his chest. Indeed it's different, way different, from admiring each others' bodies from across the water. He's used to commenting on how well his best friend's filled out in the past month, used to grumbling something under his breath about how unfair it is that Sousuke can put on muscle without blinking an eye. They spot each other in the gym, pull on their arms and legs so they can reach that one perfect stretch... So what is this?

Lips on his chest, fingers on his best friend's shoulders, drawing more than just rapid heartbeats and strange, breathless curses from their lips. The way Sousuke mutters his name doesn't go unnoticed (how can it?) and Rin can't ignore the way it sends an electric pulse straight down the curve of his spine, all the way to his toes. Instinctively he wants to do what's normal. Swat at him, punch him... ask him if it hurts. But none of those things happen, mostly because he's too busy being engrossed by whatever noises those are coming from his shinki's throat. It's easier to say he doesn't know what's going on. It's easier to not put a name to each breath, each groan or warm press to his skin. And yet all the same he's still curious... and maybe he does want to keep exploring until what's strange and surreal becomes "normal." Like swimming, like racing on the same team, like fighting side by side as god and shinki.

That quiet acceptance coupled with his longing to simply cover the other swimmer leaves Rin slumped forward against Sousuke's shoulder just like this, tired but oddly at peace knowing this could be like anything else between them. It might take longer to adjust to, there's bound to be more failures than successes as they learn and teach what they can... but he shouldn't be afraid of that. Like he said, all of this needs to be based on trust, right? He needs to trust Sousuke won't care how he looks away or how quickly he covers himself up. It's all the same anyway. Tossing him a towel after a race, climbing his way up to his bunk in the morning, calling his name across the sea in hopes he might hear... Rin trusts Sousuke with his heart more than anyone.

The least he can do is show it.

With their combined emotions running thick through his bloodstream, Rin's dizzy as he shuts his eyes, made stronger each time Sousuke says his name, and when everything shifts between his legs his lips part with a quiet, choked gasp. Thighs clench tighter and by now he's noticed how tightly bunched up his clothes are below the waist. Will it be obvious? Is Sousuke going to think it's weird? No... those things shouldn't matter. Because they're still holding each other and Rin already promised himself to be better. He'll give him what he wants, anything--]

Huh?

[Despite his tousled hair and glazed look in his eyes, there's clear confusion on Rin's face when Sousuke makes that request right up against his heart. What's that supposed to mean? Forgive himself... No. Sousuke doesn't know what he's talking about. And he shouldn't. Even if it is true.

So with head tilted he presses his lips to the shell of his best friend's ear... and bears his weight down with a slow yet deep roll of his hips, dragging himself forward along Sousuke's legs until he has his groin pressed more firmly to his stomach. Forgive himself...]

If only you knew...

[whispered as he shuts his eyes again. I don't know if I can. But enough about that. Being all sentimental, teetering dangerously close to territory they can't touch. Using his position to his advantage, Rin attempts to distract Sousuke from the topic completely, once again dragging himself forward with a hot and heavy sigh into his neck, fingers gripping his shoulders, heart fluttering so quickly it might as well fly away.]

Sousuke...

[Well… getting naked in front of anyone usually requires some level of bravery… or stupidity. Either of them possibly fueled by attraction in the better way. Sousuke sees the fear in the minute glances he steals of his best friend’s eyes, but it’s also present in the tension of his body, pounding into his lips through his chest, beating in the grip of his hands over his shoulders. The fact Rin can’t bring himself to look at him’s pretty telling too… But it’s not like Sousuke’s got any less trepidation about this entire thing. He’s just… better at stuffing it than Rin’ll ever be. Another reason he keeps that comment inside.

Sousuke resists the urge to move his legs as Rin situates himself on his limbs. They’ve wrestled before and it’s not the first time he’s had Rin’s butt pinning his thighs. But this is definitely a different version. The warmth is deeper, his skin a mixture of soft indention and hardening muscle all over his thighs and knees. Even more prominent with the other swimmer’s indecision about whether to just sit his ass down or stay braced up on his knees. At least he’s got his arms around Rin’s body, giving himself some leverage and preventing his best friend from scrambling backwards for an even-more-embarrassing exit. It’s weird… touching Rin this much. A fist bump, knee to the back of his leg, occasional flop on or drape over during leisure times, sure. This kind of intimate touching, deliberate and exploring, is completely unlike anything he’s done.

Finally Rin settles down at least, head bowed and bangs brushing Sousuke’s tan skin as he keeps his own attention focused entirely on the other teenager’s chest. It prevents him from doing anything else and making a fool of himself. Like hell does he even know what he’s doing. Kissing around the spans of his pectoral, tripping his lips over the outline of his pectoral, skirting past that one tender area until he bucks up the courage to finally ghost his lips over Rin’s nipple. This same body he’s so often watching climbing out of the pool or standing up from the bed, silently admiring the supple flexibility and lithe strength. He watches out for Rin’s physical development with an intensity he doesn’t even understand half the time. And occasionally scoffing about his best friend’s strict diet despite not having a single issue with keeping his perfect tonnage.

Their voices sound almost like strangers’ to his ears. These breathless gasps and cautious groans each touch of lips to chest or hands to shoulders calls from their chests and throats don’t sound like the athletic breaths they heave when pulling themselves up from a power-strung race. Sousuke swears he’s never said Rin’s name in such a way; such a low, nigh-desperate purr of pleasure and desire is alien to him. Should be, right? Yet he feels Rin’s spine tingle beneath his hands and momentarily expects some kind of physical “punishment” for it. But none come, and he’s left peeking his tongue out against a single spot on Rin’s body he’s never once had reason to even go for. Outside of some teasing “beeping” when they’d been kids and running around outside in the garden pool.

However, something about having Rin draped over him right now, hair tickling lines on the back of his shoulder, his collarbones threatening to press to Sousuke’s forehead, is an intimacy he can’t describe. Excitement and peace seem to twine simultaneously in his body and despite his awkwardness inside, he knows they’ve both made the right decision. To be together like this, take this path side by side. Mistakes, pleasure, embarrassment, challenge, all those things and more are going to be part of their sex life; that’s his prediction at least. It doesn’t matter if Rin averts his gaze or demands they continue this with the curtains drawn and lights off. Sousuke trusts him to make his own decisions. From accepting this to engaging in it.

Touch. The eternal moment passes and Sousuke’s tongue connects with warm skin, resting just beneath the raised bud of Rin’s nipple. He tries his best not to think about it, but that instantly swarms hs mind with every memory of what his best friend looks like. The change from light skin to pink flesh, the slowly-pebbling nub in the center… Sousuke gently traces his tongue around the circle, mapping out the circumference of Rin’s areola, drawing the circles ever tighter until he actively bathes the tip of his tongue over the pink pebble. It tastes no different than the rest of his chest, and yet, his lips tingle as he leans forward and kisses around the rosy circle. A bare close of mouth and an experimental suck before he draws back with a tiny, somewhat-sharp breath. Surprised he actually even did such a thing…

… or because he’s suddenly very aware of something long, hard, and full nudging against his lower stomach. Arousal. Like he even has to guess. Weird? No! Stupidly, attractively hot and stimulating? …yes. That Rin’s getting hard over him, over what he’s doing, drags a crimson dusting below Sousuke’s eyes, and he’s glad his face is lower than Rin’s right now. Thighs clenching around his hips and knees almost cupping the curve of his ass, fingers still gripping and massaging his shoulders, and a hot breath ghosting over the front of his shoulder and chest… It’s only a few seconds before his own pants are beginning to feel really tight and uncomfortable.

Oh. Rin’s confused. Sousuke kind of expects it. It’s not like he knows what Rin’s so upset about at the moment, but he can guess it’s part of those taboo subjects. Pulling away from the words, the larger swimmer focuses on a new path with his mouth, leaving the rosy quartz of Rin’s nipple glistening in the air beside his mouth. Traversing over the contour of his pectoral until his lips meet the flat, lengthy diamond of Rin’s sternum. He pauses there to begin exploring it with his lips, tongue, and teeth. Only to cringe in surprise and sensation when lips find the shell of his ear.] Ngh… tickles… [It does and he tries to resist the knee-jerk urge to rub his ear with his shoulder.

Only to outright gasp, eyes widening and body tensing up as Rin digs his hips down into his lap and grinds. Rolling his body against the spread web of Sousuke’s pants and he swears to god there’s no way his own turgid arousal is going to escape Rin’s notice with such an intimate motion. His thighs harden beneath his best friend’s dragging legs, long lines skimming the underside and inside of his thighs as Rin brings himself flush to Sousuke’s stomach. He instantly feels him, the shape and hardness outlined through the fly of his pants, pressing hot and straight against his shirt-covered abdomen. He tries not to lose his breath, but fails, sending the stuttering gasp all over his god’s chest. If only you knew. It’s the sheer surprise and pleasure of that rolling grind that prevents the words from taking anchor in Sousuke’s mind and going down a poignant path. By the time his brain manages to claw its way back into reasoning, Sousuke’s already struggling against the eroticism roiling through his chest.

Rin less distracts him from the topic than Sousuke accepting his god simply doesn’t want to talk about it. A slip, a faux pass, a mistake. I understand. Something not to focus on for the night. He pushes the words from his mind and resumes his oral exploration of Rin’s chest, alternating between tensing and shivering as the other boy repeats that lewd roll and soaks his flesh in molten sighs. Shoulders tense and roll beneath Rin’s grip and Sousuke can’t stop the quick return of his lips to Rin’s hammering heart. A single kiss and he drifts off again and finds his way to the neglected chest muscle. As Rin’s voice slips out, carrying his name in a silken groan, Sousuke finds his best friend’s nipple… and this time, gives it a few more than just one exploring suck.

Accidentally scraping with his teeth too…]

[Similarly, Rin doesn’t recognize his own voice either, not just when he speaks but when he breathes or accidentally squeaks out some other foreign noise right beside his best friend’s ear. He wonders if there was something in their food, in the air at the park or if he unknowingly bumped into some phantom ayakashi as they weaves through Tokyo’s streets. Wouldn’t that be hilarious? An evil spirit giving him a taste of his own manipulative medicine. But there’s no magic involved here as far as he can tell. No spells or weird injuries beneath his clothes he didn’t notice before. Everything he’s saying and doing– It’s all happening because his body wants him to. Because it feels good. Because he’s with Sousuke and for these past few hours his mind’s been cruel enough to fool him into believing they never left the world they knew behind. This could be any other night for them. A lazy weekend after days of training and school work, where they can be alone, be together... learn things they never thought they could.

Suddenly I know what’s on your mind. I know what you feel towards me, what you want from me...

I know you like me. And I know I like you.

Fingers tense again as warmth returns to his skin and with a shuddering gasp he almost pulls away. What... is he doing now? He’s closer, bolder, braver... Did his tongue just touch his nipple? Had to be an accident. There’s just no other explanation. His eyes are closed. He can’t see where he’s touching. Rin’s been distracting him with his words. ... But Sousuke’s lingering on that bit of skin longer than he should be, so there’s no way he’s doing this without purpose. Doing so is strange enough... What he really needs to be concerned with is why it makes his body feel like one raw nerve, trembling and exposed, overheating like bare wire. Don’t do it again– Dammit, Why is he doing it again!? Short and soft as the experimental suck is, it has Rin rising up on his knees and curling his toes into the sheets. He really is like putty right now...

Should probably tickle him more for that.

Or he could keep rolling his hips, dropping himself back down against his best friend’s thighs which feel remarkably amazing beneath his own (again, for reasons he either can’t or doesn’t want to explain). He’s slow at first, shallow too, but then he’s picking up once he hears the stuttering response below. He feels good... and it’s because of Rin. There’s a twinge of pride in knowing that, though it’s quickly overshadowed when with one particularly deep grind he bumps into something firm just between his thighs. Can’t be his. So it– Oh. Oh. No way... Did he seriously just turn on his own best friend??

Rin doesn’t know if he should be proud or ashamed. Not like there’s time for figuring these things out when the sudden rush of arousal from Sousuke collides with his own and leaves his brain in disarray. He can’t speak, can barely breathe... at least until the exploring around his chest picks up again. It happens so suddenly. Thighs quiver and clench around Sousuke’s waist as he literally whines mere centimeters away from his neck. Hands fidget, unsure of what to cling onto or how hard, ultimately settling for Sousuke’s collar to bunch up and wrinkle in his fingers. It almost hurts. The pressure from his chest and the pressure from below... both places so stiff they ache–]

Sousuke... Sousuke...! [His mind fizzles, the only coherent word he has falls from his lips over and over like a weak mantra. Every muscle in his body won’t relax so he feels like a tightly wound coil, arched forward and twitching, each individual abdominal muscle prominent and heaving beneath his chest. He wants to undo his belt. He wants to yank the hair tie from his head and scream into a pillow. But he does none of it... and instead continues rutting with quicker rolls of his hips because he can’t calm down. At this rate– At this rate he can sense where he’s heading, so maybe it’s for the best if Sousuke doesn’t see. Ngh, why do his nipples have to be so sensitive? Out of all places! Maybe they should have kept on kissing...]

Don’t– Feels– Mn... Hngh! [Back to stubbornly clenching his jaw. And taking it a step further by slapping a hand over his mouth.]

[This isn’t like before; the sounds of his voice and the urges in his body are going in strange directions. Not unwanted, obviously, but strange nevertheless. From the desire to hear Rin’s voice as he groans out his name to the burning need to touch what he’s only looked at or touched in far different lights before. There’s nothing professional about this, there’s nothing innocent or accidental. Sousuke knows his mind’s in control and he’s telling his body what to do. Now “knowing” what he’s doing is another story; this is all driving blind. He’s read no books, seen no films, knows no advice on how to go about romancing or getting physically intimate with another guy.

Yet there’s this autopilot in the very rhythm of his pounding heart that’s whispering, “Touch here. Maybe he’ll like that. This feels good on myself. Maybe it’ll feel good on him. Dammit, don’t just sit there and stare; DO something.” He’s not sure those urges are all that helpful, but they’re making it easier not to sit here in an awkward… staring contest. He gets the feeling that any stretch of silence or stillness that goes for a second too long will result in one of them pushing the other away and they’d head their separate directions for the night.

His nerves tilt their attention towards the grip of tensing fingers, mind picking up each point of their tips pressing into his skin. Instinctively, Sousuke tightens his arm around Rin’s back, the muscles in his forearm cording along the curve of his best friend’s spine. Don’t… don’t pull away. He knows it’s weird, knows it’s strange, but it feels impossible to stop. Yes, he just touched his nipple with his tongue. Yes, he did all the circles and kissed it and even gave a suck once or twice. And he’s not going to stop there. Rin’s body is becoming a strange addiction. The feel of his skin on his lips a craving he doesn’t want to relinquish just yet. Sousuke could’ve been satisfied with one side of his chest; he’d come, he’d explored, he’d decided, move on. But no. There’s an entire other half and center to explore next and he’s not leaving until he’s given each area equal due. It doesn’t help that Rin’s reaction fuel those tentative flames into higher burns. The bed creaks, knees dig into the mattress, and Sousuke grunts softly as Rin arches upward on his legs, the sheet’s squeezed between his toes.

This really does feel good for you, doesn’t it…

Each roll of Rin’s hips drags their legs together, creating friction between their thighs. Skim of material-covered muscle elicits a stuttering breath, the swell of tension in his thighs comes as a result of that breath. The slower pace makes him want to tug his legs free of the crossed position and stretch them out, to alleviate some of the sensations, but as Rin picks up the pace, falling into a rhythm, it’s taking all he can not to collapse against his best friend’s chest. Rin’s made him feel good before, massages after hard workouts (Rin’s pretty adamant about them and Sousuke’s noticed he puts specific attention in on his shoulders). But this kind of touch goes beyond that, shaking his breath and making him tremble on the bed. The accidental bump of his best friend’s hips against his own, driving hardened arousal to harden arousal, jerks a deep gasp into his lungs. Sousuke’s forehead lands against Rin’s chest and he clings to his upper arm and hip for a few seconds.

Electric shock.

Turned on. Yes, he’s seriously turned on right now. Because of Rin. Impossible to think beyond instinct, their words halt and Sousuke’s jaw drops. Hot breath drifts between his teeth, drenching Rin’s chest in vapor. Before he presses forward and deliberately “sinks” his teeth into the meat of his god’s pectoral. Less a bite and more a semi-awkward scrape of white edges down his flesh. Closing the gap of his air-basted skin, only for his warm lips to glide behind his teeth and cover the scrapes with molten balm. It leaves him with an obvious, slick patch on his chest, and as Sousuke closes his mouth, he’s forced backwards a little, ending up with teeth leaving and lips finalizing his departure with a silent kiss.

Rin’s clinging to him now. His thighs squeeze around his waist and lips vibrate against his neck as whines needle into his flesh. A soft pant puffs from his mouth for a moment, eyes half-lidded as he gazes at his handiwork through his lashes. And then tenses up as fingers ensnare his collar and bunch it up.] Ngh! [His shirt hitches under his arms and his pants suddenly feel two sizes too small. His own name soaks into the air in breathless whines and he swears he’s never heard his name uttered in such a way. It sounds good… he wants it more.

Back to his chest, mouth open, tongue, teeth, and lips eagerly assaulting what his mind sees without hesitation. Rin’s tension winds his body tight, he knows what he looks like, knows the swell of his chest is hardening in front of his ribs, each of his elongated abdominal muscles standing out beneath his skin in perfect definition, spine curving as he arches forward and shoves his heaving chest against Sousuke’s face. Probably with the urge to scream. But not that victorious yell of victory after a race… This would be a new scream he’s never done before. All because of Sousuke… Admittedly, he’s kind of proud of that thought. Embarrassed, maybe a little uncomfortable and ashamed at first… but proud nonetheless.

Don’t, he says. Sousuke’s soft “tch” wheezes over Rin’s chest, dismissive and “irritated.” Of course he’s going to be like that. The hand over his mouth…? That’s annoying.] Oy. [Sousuke doesn’t break the kiss, lips moving over Rin’s chest as he alternates between words, breaths, and sucking/licking/nipping/kissing.] Unfair, Rin…

[Another guy... That’s right. He’s doing this with another guy. And not just any other guy. It’s Sousuke. So this experience should be even more surreal than it actually is, shouldn’t it? Then why isn’t he stopping himself? He’s sure the normal Rin would have punched and kicked his way out of this a long time ago, called Sousuke an idiot over a thousand times then stormed off into another room on the opposite end of the castle. Frankly it worries him how easily he’s adapting, though at the same time it’s... interesting. There’s no practice going into any of their movements. No books, no movies, no lessons to refer to for guidance in how to make each other feel good. There’s only trust... and a strong bond stubbornly driving them forward. At the very least, those two aspects are familiar enough to keep Rin grounded, and he soon enough finds himself unwilling to unlatch from his shinki despite his nerves. He wants this. He wants to keep exploring, discovering, learning all he can... because hitting walls never stopped them before.

As Sousuke holds him tighter, Rin feels his muscles warm beneath his skin, loving the closeness and the surprising tenderness behind the action. There’s understanding there, quiet acceptance towards the unsaid “Don’t move away” that keeps Rin wrapped around his best friend in something of a protective embrace. To be honest, being held feels even more incredible than the ministrations at his chest. He wills his fingers to wander, gripping Sousuke’s forearms before smoothing back over his shoulders and down the expanse of his back, palms pushing back the fabric of his shirt just far enough past his shoulder blades. Nails dig in here too. Experimental, demanding. He enjoys the way juts of bone and firm muscle fill his palms just right, like they were meant for him... like Sousuke trained his entire life for his body to be perfect for Rin.

Maroon hair spills over his neck as his head tosses back, every muscle involuntarily tightening in response to that sudden electric shock. The sound to follow isn’t quiet by any means. Something between a whine and a barely suppressed cry, cut off after a short beat from sharp teeth sinking into his lip. That touch– No, there’s more than one. He’s holding his arm, pressing his face to his chest, pressing their hips even tighter... biting. He wants to scream. Needs to. But he wants to stay grounded. He wants to see this moment last. Still. It’s easy to cover his voice, but his body will betray him every time. Barely a nudge away from teeth, raised pink flesh remains stiff and sore from all the previous attention, wet with saliva that’s cool to the touch. And even further below his obvious arousal throbs impatiently between his thighs, a full, aching bulge already straining his fly while being simultaneously smothered with someone else’s not-so-little problem. How the hell is he supposed to hold himself back?

Maybe he shouldn’t.]

H-haah... [Fingers curl into a loose fist as he finally drops his hand away and struggles to decide where to leave it next. His own lap seems like an obvious spot. Could finally unzip himself before he goes crazy. ... Rin opts for a less selfish option, reaching down to gently cup his partner’s face in both hands so he can coax him to lean back and tip up. As amazing as his mouth feels there, he really has missed kissing him... It’s not exactly a solid kiss once Rin gets started though. More of a lazy nudge with a lot of breathless panting in between. Eyes shut halfway, rolling back into his head while hips pick up again at a steady pace, bumping forward for the metal zippers to click together and send another paralyzing shock up his spine. Thighs clench once more, thumbs sweeping over the other swimmer’s cheeks in an unconscious, delicate brush. Don’t let go. Let me hold you. I want to feel you.

I’m going to–

Brows scrunch together as his jaw unhinges, releasing a choked groan against Sousuke’s lips. Ah... now this is familiar. But can he–?

Back to opening his eyes halfway, a flash of red that reveals the headboard swaying with his thrusts, each one rougher and more demaning than the last.]

Ungh... mn– Sousuke, I–

[Stop me before I get too carried away, don’t stop looking at me, don’t let go–!]

[There… is that angle too. So many times, he’s been with Rin. Swimming with him in the pool, side by side as they cooked meals together, leaning against the wall and talking over the fall of the shower, laughing about something mundane as they got dressed for the day, sleeping in the same bed with him night after night. All of these things and it’s never once struck him that this friendship would evolve into something like this. When trust became respect and respect became affection and affection… became desire. Even without his memories, he knows there’s something special and different about feeling this way about… well… another guy. Doing these kinds of things with another guy. But mirroring his god’s thoughts, this isn’t just “another guy” he’s touching. It’s Matsuoka Rin. His god. His partner. His rival. His best friend. Since when did he think such things about his best friend? Since when did he find it okay to pull him into his lap, to bring his mouth to his chest, to kiss the beats of his heart beneath his pectoral until his tongue’s doing circles around a rosy nipple?

Who knows… at the moment, who cares… There may be an arm thrown around Rin’s back, but for all his strength, if Rin really wanted to escape, he would have without resistance. Neither of them is resisting. Awkward, hesitating, clumsy, curiously, but not reluctantly. He holds him tighter, the long muscles in his forearm rippling against his god’s skin, long fingers finally uncurling and sliding their tips over Rin’s side until his palm comes to rest on his skin and he’s holding his best friend on his lap. Rin’s not going to run from him; he feels it in his stillness. In the touches returning over his skin. Tremors run up his arms as Rin grips at his forearms and a quiet, stunted breath sucks past his lips as hands smooth over the curve of his shoulders.

His gasp melts out in a heated rush and Sousuke’s lungs catch as the touch slinks down over the athletic span of his back. Muscles trained and honed, an Olympic-level perfect body, arches forward and curves as if Rin’s touch is moving him all on its own. The material of his shirt sags in a wide, hanging “U” and exposes the angles of his shoulder blades to the moonlight. Silver beams turn tan skin a dusky pale, shadows framing the cut slopes of his back--] Hah-ah-… [Sousuke’s eyes widen and he digs his fingers into Rin’s side as crescents abruptly sink into his skin. Rin’s gripping right beneath his shoulder blades with his fingers, blunt nails biting into his skin, and his mind threatens to short circuit. It’s possessive, demanding, and yet it feels perfect… like Rin’s hands belong there. Like he’s waited for this touch for many long years.

Thank god his eyes are open; he doesn’t miss the sudden bow in front of him as Rin’s chest shoves close to his face. His eyes race, from one solid curve of his friend’s flexing pectorals to the column of his throat bent and cording beneath his moonlit skin. Head tossed back, chin framed in light and shadow, hair doing that heart-stopping arch backwards to spill over his neck and fall away from his face… If this is Rin’s appearance when he’s feeling such pleasure, Sousuke resigns himself to being both addicted and enslaved. So long as it brings this reaction… The sound fills his ears, a guttural, barely-restrained mixture of whine and cry. Something he’s never heard from his best friend before. Right before it shuts off and Sousuke realizes Rin’s biting his own lip to keep himself quiet.

Hn, he’s not about to let that last long. It hurts, but he pulls his eyes from the first-time sight and returns to the kiss-marked expanse in front of him. Lips part, a hot breath washes over Rin’s chest, and Sousuke takes a nipple between his jaws. Half biting on the muscle pressed to his face, half sucking, he nurses the tender area repeatedly, unsure if he’s kissing or doing some kind of arousal-drunk nuzzling with his mouth. Without thinking, he tightens his grip on his best friend’s body, arm and side, and presses upward. Hips rut firmly in to his best friend’s, deliberately grinding something long, hard, and thick against an equally responsive area. Hips to hips, the angle giving him some leverage to press slightly under and then upward. Desperately dragging the tip of his pants-clad bulge up the length of Rin’s trapped arousal. Drawing back, Sousuek releases the tormented bud with a lewd ‘pop’, a gossamer thread of sparkling liquid connecting his lips and Rin’s chest for a moment. Before breaking and falling somewhere to the sheets below. He shouldn’t… but he blows on the tender flesh, cool air turning icy without thought.

This isn’t about holding back anymore. It’s about encouraging to let go. Sousuke loses the grip on his back, but he gains hands on his face. Just as he leans in towards Rin’s chest. He doesn’t reach, instead finding himself encouraged upward. Teal eyes, half open, lift with his face, gazing up at Rin with a mixture of gentle affection, a silent plea, and soft curiosity. His lips shine with the gloss of his own spit and Rin’s sweat--] Mhn. [And now completely covered by Rin’s mouth. It’s not a kiss… but there’s something intimate about the way Rin nudges his mouth with his own. Sousuke’s head leans back in response to each little push, only to fall forward and move into the touch. Small bobs, little weaves that move their mouths together in the window’s light, tender touches he finds himself craving because they’re not perfect, romantic kisses. They’re messy and hot and exploring and… human. Full of panting breaths and lust-glazed eyes gazing at each other through half-closed lids. All of it atop the steady grind of hips that pick up their pace into something instinctive and growing. The metal click below sounds out of place compared to the fleshy, wet smack and glide of lips and the occasional tongue.

Sousuke’s breath puffs over Rin’s mouth, fanning his cheek as a warm thumb brushes over his own. It brings a faint heat to his tan skin again, threatens to steal his air at the delicate intimacy the touch drags into his heart. Those thoughts… Even if the bond only goes one way, he’s so close to Rin, understandings him so well, the other swimmer’s thoughts flow right in. Desire, begging not to let him go, things he feels and understands in the way Rin grips him, the look in his eyes and the taste on his breath, how his body responds to the hold about his back and side… thighs clenching about his legs and hips. Hell, his pulse spikes like crazy and his breath catches in his throat. Rin’s… holy shit… Rin’s actively thrusting against him. His mind snaps around the reality, the suddenly recognition that their hips are moving in a way that’s far from innocent. Grinding and rolling, purposefully lifting up and running against each other in an incriminatingly intimate motion. And just like everything else about them, they’re doing it in perfect tandem, matching each other’s pace, fitting like puzzle pieces without effort. Each rougher thrust encourages his body to respond in kind, lifting Rin slightly on his legs as he bucks upward, smooth and strong, answering the demanding increase with something as equally as passionate… equally as desiring.]

You… ngh-haa… you sound good… like this, Rin…

[A breathless sound of pleasure drags past his lips, a crossbreed of moan and sigh. Stop me. Such a thought now of all things? Sousuke can’t stop a tiny smile from curving at the corner of his mouth. Simple response to that. Hell no. He’s already dove off the block. They’re in the water now. Together. His eyes stay locked with Rin’s as he lifts his shoulders, now bared and exposed in the moonlight, an rolls them. Muscles ripple beneath his flesh, molding and stretching over his bones as his skin shifts and the hollows of his neck and upper back and chest flex with the actions. Fabric hisses and the taller athlete’s shirt skims down his arms, falling away from his back even further and bunching around his wrists. It’s still locked and buttoned halfway, ending up scrunched about the lower half of his stomach, but it’s enough to finally be free halfway. Enough to move one arm and reach around in front. Enough to find the one thing not quite warm yet.

Ziiiiip

Enough to slowly drag down his best friend’s zipper.]

Let's go further, Rin.

[He's almost forgotten how they got here in the first place. He can barely remember what they did a few hours before, how they were so casual at each others' side as they prepared to set out into the city. Every minute, every second's turned into a vague blur of movement and muffled voices, leaving only this moment to stand out above the rest. Has he always wanted to do this? Is that why he didn't resist, why he can't resist even when Sousuke lowers his arms to give him more than enough room to do so? At what point in time did he stop looking at Sousuke as his best friend, his rival, his partner... and start seeing him as someone to hold, to touch, kiss... love?

Rin's fingers still as muscles roll beneath them and in a moment of panic he worries he's aggravated something he can't see. Another injury. But when he smooths his palms back over, he's met with smooth skin and a broken, shuddering sigh against his chest. Why does that feel good? He wants to ask... but instead he does it again, slower, middle and ring fingers feather light as they draw small circles around hard bone and damp flesh. It doesn't matter why. As long as it does... As long as he can give Sousuke something he wants, something he deserves.

He isn't so gentle once lips find his chest again though and with bolder, more precise sucks he renders Rin into a trembling, aching mess. Thighs clench, nails scratch, and when Sousuke blows a puff of air over the tender bud he rises up on his knees again, his body torn between the pleasure and pain of over stimulation. If Sousuke doesn't want to see Rin hold back, then he's on the right track, tearing down each wall piece by piece, second by second. Can he submit to that? So soon, so fast... Holding Sousuke just like this helps keep him grounded long enough to answer. If he's gotten this far, this close... then there's no use in denying or saying no. He's hopelessly lost in every touch, every word and every sound spilling from their bodies. Another thrust and he tangles a hand up into the taller swimmer's hair. Another roll and he practically yelps against Sousuke's tongue. Can he really sound good like this? So sloppy, pathetic, loud--

Fabric hisses and it brings Rin's hips to a halt. Right. They're both still wearing a fair amount of clothes right now... hell, Sousuke still hasn't taken off his shirt. But it's getting there, falling lower and lower, exposing darker skin beneath ripples of white. As with everything else, he's seen this before. His best friend undressing. In their dorm room, in the pool locker room. Just... not like this. In a new light, with the taste of sweat on his lips. With eyes still half lidded, Rin takes in the sight as it slowly unfolds. He's so... beautiful. Perfect Olympic body aside, there's a certain, attractive glow about his best friend he can't explain. It feels strong, demanding, hot. Rin wants to see more. All of it let loose until there's no hope of turning back.

There's a ruby red gleam in his eyes just before he shuts them and with head tilted he presses his lips to Sousuke's temple. He can hear everything now. His heart between his ears, petals on the windows... his zipper.

Sousuke's voice.]

... Yeah.

[He mutters, the word just barely a beg as he nudges his hips forward. With one eager roll he can feel himself fully pressed into Sousuke's hand, which might not give enough room to finish the job, but at least it's enough to ease some of the pressure. Another hissed curse, another hot breath into his partner's bangs, and Rin's already mirrored that hand with his own, a little shakier but still managing to find the metal clasp and pull... How much further is "further"?

Wherever this takes them, Rin has a feeling he won't last through it for long.]

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