thenearshore | [closed]

Coming!

[Footsteps clatter down the stairs inside, and after a few more seconds, Tsuzuki pulls the door open, and straightens up, eyes widening in startlement.]

... Yasusada?

Uh, hi! I mean, come on in. If you want.

[What's he supposed to say? It sure looks like he's showed up with a gift, for some reason. Is he trying to make up with Hisoka, maybe?]

Who are you here to visit?

Hello, Tsuzuki-san. [He doesn't really have the right to refer to Tsuzuki by anything more familiar, not that that would've stopped him if he'd really wanted to.

He bows a little, but stays where he is for the moment, holding out the mochi.]

I'm here to see you, if it's alright. Are you busy?

[He'd been arranging flowers, but they're all in water: they'll keep through whatever it is Yasusada needs to say to him, he thinks, and offers the shinki an encouraging smile.]

No, I've got time! Please.

[He reaches out with both hands to take the mochi.]

Thanks, these look delicious! I can make some tea, if you want to share a couple.

[He stands back, mochi in hand, holding the door open for Yasusada. Inside, there's a welter of sunflowers, wildflowers and cut orange branches with half-set fruit visible on the table in the front room; once Yasusada's inside, Tsuzuki heads for the kitchen, which at least has a clean table, and is where the tea is, besides.]

[He wouldn't necessarily have minded being turned away, but-- he's relieved, all the same. No matter how strongly he feels he's in the right, he'd rather get this over with.]

Tea would be good, thank you. [He'll step inside with a quiet "excuse me", slipping off his sandals automatically. He shuffles after Tsuzuki, his steps quiet and light, and glances around with unabashed curiosity. He doesn't visit other temples very much, content to stay at home or at the school when he's not on the Near Shore. He considers asking about the flowers, but decides against it. Tsuzuki is nice and Yamato doesn't care much about overstepping boundaries, but still. There are more important things on his mind right now.

When they reach the kitchen, he removes his sword from his belt, resting it gently against the wall. He takes a seat within arm's reach, just in case, but his hands rest politely in his lap for now. Probably no one will be losing their heads and dying today.]

How is Hisoka-kun?

[The temple resembles nothing so much as a big, cozy country house, with hardwood in the hallways and tatami in the rooms opening off of them, sliding rice-paper doors to most rooms and the occasional alcove with a decorative scroll or pot. Most of them are pots, and most of those are full of flowers; Tsuzuki's been spending a lot of time on his garden, which means lots of cut flowers to bring inside.

The kitchen is a little more modern than the bones of the house, with electric appliances and lights, and a Western-style table with chairs. Tsuzuki sets the mochi down in the middle of the table, checks the hot water dispenser (whoops, it's still on, he must've forgotten to turn it off after breakfast) and taps some tea into his pot before hitting the button to dispense water through the leaves.

At the question, he flinches, and almost spills hot water over his hand.]

He's okay.

["He's a lot better" -- he was dead. Now he's not, and he remembers his life again. Tsuzuki doesn't know how to sum up the enormity of it all.]

Edited (whoops I just spotted the sentences lost to HTML failure) 2016-07-07 13:03 (UTC)

[It's a nice place--comfortable, familiar in ways Shepard's temple isn't. But Yamato's perfectly content in his own home, and there's no longing on his face as he looks around. Just interest.

He hadn't meant to elicit that sort of reaction, but he doesn't apologize, either. He simply watches Tsuzuki, his eyes unnaturally bright, as always.]

Is he here now?

No, he's out right now. He wanted to check on something at his own temple.

[Tsuzuki picks up the teapot and starts distributing tea into their cups with quick little pours. He's avoiding Yasusada's gaze now, still wincing.]

[Yamato nods quietly, taking in that information. Sure, he has questions just like anyone else, but... whatever happened with Hisoka isn't something Yamato's particularly concerned with. He has no higher aspirations, no yearning to be a god himself. All he cares about is the fact that Hisoka isn't dead anymore.

But he was. That's the important part.]

I can't say I'm sorry for what I said. [He's sure Tsuzuki saw it, not because he's suddenly tech-savvy but because he assumes Tsuzuki knows everything Hisoka does.] But I wanted to say that it only came from me. Please don't hold it against Mórrígan-sama.

[He almost never refers to her by that name, if he can help it, but. This is a matter between gods, and he's very serious about it. He wraps his hands around his teacup but he doesn't look at it, his eyes still fixed on Tsuzuki.]

You mean what you said to Hisoka when he got back?

[Tsuzuki blinks, genuinely startled, as he turns back around with both teacups in his hands. He holds out one cup to Yasusada.]

Of course I'm not -- I mean ... you were right, anyway.

[As soon as Yasusada takes the cup, Tsuzuki's going to sit down across from him, hands wrapped so tightly around his own cup that it looks like he's somehow taken a chill in the warm spring air.]

[That gets a small nod, in response to both the question and Tsuzuki's response. He was right, and he isn't going to argue that. Reassurances and comfort aren't his strong point.

But as he takes the cup, ~~that I totally didn't write about in the last tag shh~~ his face is somber.]

I didn't want to be. [He hopes Tsuzuki doesn't think that of him, if nothing else. He hasn't taken any pleasure in it.] But I wanted to make sure that you knew it was only my words. As Yamato no Kami Yasusada, not as Mórrígan-sama's shinki.

[This may be the one and only time Yamato acknowledges his identity as something separate from "Mórrígan's shinki". It's more meaningful than even Yamato himself realizes, but even then, there's no desperate plea in his tone. Tsuzuki can reject this non-apology if he wants. He can reject Yamato and boot him into space if he wants, honestly. Just so as long as he doesn't hold it against Shepard.

Yamato kind of hopes he doesn't, though. He likes Tsuzuki. That's one reason he's come here in person.]

Hisoka-kun seemed upset. [Aaaand that would be another reason.]

Yeah. [Tsuzuki looks down at his own tea, shoulders slumping slightly. He hadn't wanted Yamato to be right, either. They'd almost all gotten out. If he'd just waited, if he hadn't panicked and run in, Hisoka wouldn't have, and then --

Hisoka remembers his life now. Maybe it's better that he's not a shinki anymore, but Tsuzuki hasn't forgiven himself.]

It's okay, whatever you think about me. I'm ... I won't hold it against you. Or Shepard.

[Certainly not Shepard. Why would what he said reflect on her? She'd reacted differently, anyway.

Hisoka might be madder. Tsuzuki reaches for one of the sweets Yamato'd brought, nibbling around the edge of it before he speaks again.]

But you might have to talk to Hisoka separately.

[Yamato hasn't even begun to consider the implications of Hisoka's transition. He'd been so sad and angry that someone had died at all, that all his pleas and warnings had gone unheeded, that he's only just started to let new information sink in.

He relaxes a little, though, glad his trip here hasn't been fruitless.] Thank you. I appreciate it.

[He even has the decency to look a little embarrassed, glancing down at his tea. He'd had no intention of going to find Hisoka, no intention of apologizing when he hadn't been wrong in the first place.] I wasn't planning on speaking to him. I already said everything I wanted to say.

[That and they've never actually, y'know. Met. Yamato's really great at first impressions.]

... Well, okay, but I mean, he doesn't remember you guys. He mostly doesn't remember what happened here before -- you know.

[Tsuzuki? Sneaky?

Well, he's not totally without guile.]

So, I mean, if you want to make sure other gods aren't gonna hold stuff against Shepard, you might want to talk to him too.

[From the look on Yamato's face, you'd think Tsuzuki had just asked him to swallow a whole lemon. It's perfectly reasonable logic, and it's not like Yamato even has anything against Hisoka personally. It's just that his maturity shows itself in the strangest ways, and apparently has decided to take a vacation during all of this.]

Do you think he would? [He asks, after a little fidgeting. If anyone would know, it would be Tsuzuki--Yamato has a hard time imagining the bond between a god and shinki getting weakened by something like death. Death that didn't even stick, for that matter.]

[With absolute sincerity, if slightly misleading phrasing, Tsuzuki replies:] Hisoka holds grudges.

[...He just probably wouldn't hold a grudge against Shepard for something that Yamato said. But he'd hold one against Yamato, and Tsuzuki'd rather they were okay with each other than enemies.]

[See, if Tsuzuki clarified, Yamato wouldn't have cared. Hisoka can hate him to the end of his days, as far as Yamato's concerned. But he certainly won't risk any negativity being directed towards Shepard, and Yamato's unabashed devotion is frighteningly easy to use against him.

So he grimaces, and sighs, but he nods slowly.]

Alright... I'll... talk to him. [Or send him a fruit basket with a note, maybe.] I don't want any trouble for you all. [Gods in general, he means.]

... It's fine if you want to criticize me. Just maybe not in front of Hisoka, okay?

[And that'll be fine all around!]

I wasn't trying to criticize you.

[Not at first, anyway. He'd been thoughtless about it, but he's thoughtless about a lot of comments he makes.

All the time.

(It's a problem.)]

I wasn't trying to criticize him either, I just wanted to know why he didn't stop you when he could have. [Elsa had seemed pretty intent on going no matter what, but Tsuzuki made it sound like he wouldn't go if Hisoka didn't want to.

Of course, then it did turn into very emotional criticism, but that doesn't really need repeating. Especially since they both know Yamato was right.]

He doesn't remember any of it. [Tsuzuki's staring glumly at his teacup, half-eaten mochi forgotten next to it in a tiny dusting of rice flour.]

But it's because he just ... didn't want me to go alone.

[Tsuzuki's glance flickers up to Yamato, briefly.]

I should've, though.

That wouldn't have solved anything.

[It's reasoning Yamato can understand, yes. If Tsuzuki had been impossible to convince, it reasonably follows that the next best thing would be to stick with him. Yamato would've done the same thing, but Yamato also has enough faith in Shepard's abilities that he's confident they'd never wind up in that situation.

(Too much faith, honestly, and it'll probably be his downfall one of these days.)]

If you died alone and didn't come back like he did, he'd just blame himself until it killed him, and then we wouldn't have either of you here.

[He's quiet for a minute, staring into his teacup. Tsuzuki had seemed pretty adamant that his concern was only for their missing friend, but Elsa had made it clear she had other things on her mind. And Yamato isn't quite oblivious enough to miss the general air of disgruntlement, fear, and outright anger amongst the newcomers like themselves. More's the pity.]

...Do you all really hate being here that much?

I like it here a lot better than back home.

[Tsuzuki lets out a breath, looking up at Yamato. It's -- hard to admit like that, with nothing hiding it, but it's true. He misses his friends, but here, he can work to help people. All the time. He doesn't have to kill anyone, he doesn't have to twist the rules into pretzels to get anybody an extra couple of days of life... it's so much better.

But that doesn't mean he can take it at face value when it's so painfully obvious that there's a lot going on here behind the scenes.]

I like it, but we're not safe here. Gods and shinki keep disappearing. Even if we both stayed safe at home --

[And it's still a danger, which is what makes him break off and glance away. He and Hisoka aren't any safer now than last week or the week before. If something happens... he doesn't know, even know, what he'd do.]

We have to find out what's going on.

[Yamato's quiet in response to that. It's true. He can't argue that it's terrifying, to think that he might wake up one day to find Shepard gone, just like what happened with Yuuki and Bo. (Premonitions are not Yamato's ability.) But all the same, he can't help feeling like they're standing on two different sides of the same coin.]

New gods and shinki keep appearing, too. [Every few weeks, which might worry some, but to Yamato, it doesn't mean anything. Gods, he doesn't know about, but shinki? People die all the time. What's so wrong with being given a second chance as the companion to someone immensely powerful? Yamato doesn't think he'll ever understand.

Lifting his hands, he presses his palms to his forehead, struggling to put his thoughts into words. There are so many things floating around inside him--convictions with no basis, warnings and fear and the pain of loss, and an urge to deny everything that might lead to an ending he doesn't like. Maybe he shouldn't even be here-- if they're all going to disappear someday, then he should really be spending every second of his time at his god's side. The pang of guilt is sure to sting Shepard, just a little, and knowing that only makes it worse.

He's just a sword. This is all too big for him.]

I don't think you're wrong to try and do that. [He says eventually. He speaks slowly, more for his own sake than Tsuzuki's.] But I don't think the heavens are out to get us. And that might change if people act like they already are.

[Yamato has no particular loyalty to Amaterasu. Shepard is the only god he answers to. But he doesn't think any of this is an vendetta against the new gods, and so far, he has no reason to doubt the things they've been told.] Even if I'm wrong, if we're actively being targeted and you discover what's happening, what are you going to do about it? Whoever has the power to bring us here and make us disappear-- if that's destroyed, how do you know it won't just erase us all?

[Too many questions, too many words to convey that he's scared. There are just so many unknowns, and after what happened in Yomi, he has every right to think Tsuzuki and the others don't know how to be safe about things. But Yamato isn't eloquent at the best of times, and this is definitely not the best of times.]

I don't think they're targeting the new gods. [Tsuzuki shakes his head, and picks up another piece of mochi. He's scared, too. He can admit it: he's not as scared about his own fate, but when it comes to Hisoka, Battler, everyone else he's come to know here... there's no guarantee that Yamato's not right, and that uncovering the spell that's bringing them here won't just destroy them.]

I think we're part of something that's targeting the Heavens. But I don't know who's doing it, and I'm pretty sure somebody Amaterasu trusts has to be involved.

[It's the only way to make sense of the way the attacks fit the schedule of their arrivals so well. Some of those attacks have been during events that the Heavens have already orchestrated -- the chocolates, the school. Whatever's going on, it's supposed to keep them busy.]

If we figure it out, I'm hoping they'll be able to help us handle it.

But even if that's true, they said we're different from the other gods and shinki. [Later, Yukine will teach him about names; something Yamato definitely came into this world with, not a conscious effort on Shepard's part.] Do you think they're bringing us here just to get rid of us?

[Because if that's the case, whoever's in charge of this so-called assault needs to learn efficiency.

And more importantly... Tsuzuki needs to learn patience and discipline. Yamato's no star pupil in those arts, true, but... no one ever said he wasn't a bit of a hypocrite.]

Are you going to go back? [He has no idea what Yomi could possibly tell them, but they clearly didn't find what they wanted the first time.]

No... I think they're trying to get rid of existing gods. I think we're here as part of whatever spell they're using to prevent the old gods from reincarnating.

We're just too random, you know? Souls from all over the place, dead, living, even other gods.

[He crosses his arms on the table, leaning forward.]

I don't think there are any answers in Yomi-no-kuni about any of this. I'd be surprised if Vector even got all the way down there. I think he disappeared the same way Bo did.

[Well that's... something, at least. But it's not enough.

Gods, spells, reincarnation--Yamato doesn't know anything about any of that. And quite frankly, he doesn't care. If the previous Mórrígan wasn't Shepard, what does it matter? If something happens, and the future Mórrígan isn't Shepard, well...

He doesn't want to think about that. So he doesn't.]

But if there were answers there, or somewhere else dangerous, would you go?

[It's a pointless question, and likely, they both know it. But Yamato asks it nonetheless. No subtle, pretty words, no evasive maneuvers. Like aiming a knife, he drives the question straight into Tsuzuki, leaving no room for misinterpretation.]

Of course.

[No hesitation. It's not even a question. Tsuzuki crosses his arms on the table, leaning forward.]

It's not because I'm just that curious. If I could ignore it, that'd be great, but without some answers we're all in danger.

... Just, next time, I wouldn't bring anybody I couldn't protect.

So you'd go alone.

[There are a lot of things to be addressed in Tsuzuki's words. But Yamato ignores them all except the very last bit, which is all he cares about at the moment. He doesn't seem surprised, but he looks distinctly unimpressed.

Arguing is pointless, he's beginning to realize. It's frustrating, because all he wants to do is argue. But this is starting to loop back to where it began, and Yamato can already tell he's not going to win this particular battle. (It's a weird kind of knowledge, paired with weary exasperation and a grudging fondness for idiots. Odd. Best not to think about it.)]

Well, I didn't come because I thought you'd learned the important things. [Except he had, or he'd hoped, but-- whatever. It doesn't matter now. He'd come to make sure Shepard wouldn't be judged for his actions, and he's done that. Maybe he's overstayed his welcome.] But I really am glad you have Hisoka-kun back, even if it's different now.

Or take people stronger than I am.

I'm really hard to kill, though, Yamato. I heal from a lot.

[He could be, he's sure. Getting trapped in Yomi-no-kuni probably would have killed him, or worse, left him alive... but there's no point in thinking about that now.

He sighs.]

Plus, like I said. Staying out of danger doesn't make anybody safe here.

You take care, okay, Yamato? And -- I mean. If I can help you with anything, let me know.

[At least he's willing to consider some company. Yamato grudgingly concedes that much, but it's not enough to counteract everything else. "I'm hard to kill" is a terribly weak argument to him, even more so than Elsa's "I'm hard to keep trapped". Confidence is no match for preparation, but if he hasn't managed to sway Tsuzuki yet, he's not going to do it at all. Not today.

It's not an entirely negative meeting, though. Yamato may not be satisfied with everything, but he got the reassurance he was looking for. Mostly.

Hisoka... will have to wait. Just for a little while.

He pauses on his way out, and from the look on his face, there's so much more he's holding back. But in the end, he simply says,]

Just don't make Yuuki-kun sad again.

[Tsuzuki flinches, startled, but at last he just relaxes into a sad smile.]

I'll try.

Thanks for coming over. I appreciate it.

Edited 2016-08-16 00:24 (UTC)

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