[Komaeda stiffens in what's mostly shock when Mikan hugs him; he really can't remember the last time someone's hugged him, and he suspects that would be true even if he had all of his memories. He just...hasn't been close to people for a very long time, in an emotional sense. And considering how much his classmates had seemed to hate and fear him on the island...he'd certainly never expected to receive a hug from any of them. Not unless it was some form of restraint while they grabbed proper ropes, anyway.]
I...appreciate the concern, Tsumiki-san... [And he does. It feels...kind of amazing, to have someone care so much about whether he lives or dies. The kind of amazing he's pretty sure he doesn't deserve, but absolutely wanted when he first started attending Hope's Peak.] But - aren't you thinking of very different people?
[He looks down at her.] I don't have my memories of any of you back...so I don't really remember being that close to any of you. I mean, not that I really mind that much if you all know, so that's not really a matter of trust to me, but...the classmates I knew didn't remember me, either. And you guys didn't really like me that much...or trust me at all. [He laughs a little.] And considering I tried to kill all of you, I guess that was justified! But what I mean to say is - the people I remember wouldn't have cared. I'm not even sure they would have believed me. Souda-san would probably have said I was just trying to make you all feel sorry for me. You all would probably have put me in a straitjacket to keep me from hurting myself or anyone else, actually...so I think the classmates you're thinking of, the ones who like me for some reason, are very different from the people I knew on the island. And I don't think it would have made a lot of sense to tell them then...and I can't really answer for why I didn't tell anyone back during the time we were in school together.
[He pauses for a moment, absently biting his lip as he thinks.] I suppose maybe I simply didn't want to trouble anyone...or perhaps I was so happy being around so many Ultimates that I forgot about it entirely? Or perhaps I couldn't bear the thought of being pitied by you all... [For someone who said he couldn't answer it, he's still apparently trying to come up with theories.
Then Mikan pulls away from him, and Komaeda finds himself disappointed. Physical affection...it felt so warm.]
My luck's kept me alive this long. As far as I know, it's the only thing that can at this point...
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I...appreciate the concern, Tsumiki-san... [And he does. It feels...kind of amazing, to have someone care so much about whether he lives or dies. The kind of amazing he's pretty sure he doesn't deserve, but absolutely wanted when he first started attending Hope's Peak.] But - aren't you thinking of very different people?
[He looks down at her.] I don't have my memories of any of you back...so I don't really remember being that close to any of you. I mean, not that I really mind that much if you all know, so that's not really a matter of trust to me, but...the classmates I knew didn't remember me, either. And you guys didn't really like me that much...or trust me at all. [He laughs a little.] And considering I tried to kill all of you, I guess that was justified! But what I mean to say is - the people I remember wouldn't have cared. I'm not even sure they would have believed me. Souda-san would probably have said I was just trying to make you all feel sorry for me. You all would probably have put me in a straitjacket to keep me from hurting myself or anyone else, actually...so I think the classmates you're thinking of, the ones who like me for some reason, are very different from the people I knew on the island. And I don't think it would have made a lot of sense to tell them then...and I can't really answer for why I didn't tell anyone back during the time we were in school together.
[He pauses for a moment, absently biting his lip as he thinks.] I suppose maybe I simply didn't want to trouble anyone...or perhaps I was so happy being around so many Ultimates that I forgot about it entirely? Or perhaps I couldn't bear the thought of being pitied by you all... [For someone who said he couldn't answer it, he's still apparently trying to come up with theories.
Then Mikan pulls away from him, and Komaeda finds himself disappointed. Physical affection...it felt so warm.]
My luck's kept me alive this long. As far as I know, it's the only thing that can at this point...