thenearshore | memories

Entry tags:

memories

Who: Ichiru Kiryuu & Zero Kiryuu
When: September 21st
Where: Hades Temple
What: Ichiru regians his memories of Zero and things happen, including probably sappy sibling times.

Ichiru woke up feeling very strange from his slumber. It was still late in the night. He's not sure what time but he woke up with sweat pooling down his back. He can't remember why or what but it's has been a constant things. He can't remember anything when he wakes up. It was as if it was all ripped from him. He didn't know what but he recalled waking sometimes these days.

Of course, he had sometimes forgotten that he has a God and those emotions that he felt, were very much invading Zero. His brows knitted together briefly as he tried to regain his composure. Something felt off, but he didn't know what. It would be nice if he could comfortably sleep with Zero by his side-- wait.

"Eh??"

There's a bit of confusion in his tone as he realized he thought about something-- that he recalled something. He put a hand to his head. Was he dreaming again?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He stops at the end of the corridor, neither turning to leave or coming closer. He wants to check on his brother, but he also doesn't want to have him snapping at him for disturbing him this late at night. They may have gotten closer over the months but Ichiru still didn't want his help. It was a miracle he wanted to be named by him but Zero isn't foolish enough to think that that means he wants thim inferring in his life anymore than before. He knows his brother, his need for independence from him. He's tried to give it to him but sometimes, some nights, the same need to check on him overcomes him and it takes all of his willpower to stay put. He knows Ichiru won't appreciate his need to protect him, to check if he was okay. But he can't help the need. It's too ingrained in him as far back as he could remember. The only thing he could do it was ignore it. But sometimes, like tonight, even that was difficult to do even if he already knew Ichiru was safe. He wasn't sick anymore and that pull at their familial bond... was it just him?

It was very true that Ichiru had been really adamant about not wanting to rely on anyone for his own well being. It seemed like on the back of his mind, the more he thought about it, the more he hated it. He never knew the reason why-- but perhaps this was why he understood it to some extent. A least, to the person that he called his older twin brother.

It made sense now. Everything made sense, especially why Zero had been so very attached to him-- and even when he cried on his shoulder. It was like his vision had cleared and the feelings just kept overflowing one by one. The tug wasn't just Zero. It was definitely a lot of genuine emotions-- many of which he could remember like yesterday. Anguish, anger, sadness, loneliness, happiness and so many things in between.

Even if he had not known that Zero was wandering the halls, it was as if he felt there was a presence near him and a very familiar one at it as he started to calm down. He shot a look at the door across his room.

He remained. Despite knowing that he shouldn't, knowing his brother's likely reaction, something kept him rooted to the spot, reeling him in. He was a man of instincts, and they reeled him back to the door one step at a time. The closer he drew the more idiotic he felt, yet he couldn't deny the pull of... something.

A few moments later, there's a knock at his door. He would check on him, he told himself. Make sure nothing was wrong then leave. If Ichiru got mad him, then it wasn't like he wasn't used to it.

Ichiru is snapped out of his daze when an echoing knock entered his ears. So he wasn't mistaken to assume there was someone outside his door. Though, he could guess who it was at this point. Whether they were visible or not, they were always the one person that would be here right now.

The timing couldn't have been worse, but there's no real way of going around it. If he ignored the knock, then it would concern the other party. Feigning ignorance wasn't an option right now either. Slowly, the bed creaks as he dropped his feet to the ground, taking strides towards the door. Eventually, he pulls it open, staring at a familiar face.

He stares back.

"You're awake."

Ichiru looks at Zero for a moment, locking eyes with the god for a brief moment. He knew this person. They weren't jus5 a stranger that he built a relationship with in the past few months. They were his brother's.

"Zero?" He mused lightly completely disregarding the statement, recognition clear in his eyes. The tone completely different from how it usually was. Not to mention he seemed out of it.

That tone. That look. It puts him immediately on guard. Something's wrong his instincts yell at him. Something's off, they scream. And before he has time to think, he acts. He grabs Ichiru, pulling him out of the room as he goes in, trading places with him and stopping at the door as if to block it from a possible intruder while he hurriedly looks over the room searching for the disturbance.

Something was wrong but it's not what Zero was thinking. Ichiru didn't have time to respond, seeing he was pulled out of the room and watched as Zero investigated his room.

"Thats enough. You won't find anything."

He looks back at him, silent as he asks without words what was wrong.

"It's nothing."

Not really nothing but it's nothing to be concerned about. He's not sure he wants to reveal anything just yet. It's still a little too much for him right now-- the memories and all the things he had forgotten about Zero. There were still things he couldn't remember.

Nothing... Is that how it's always going be between them? Or was he fooling himself into sensing these things? Still, he'd overreacted. He always did when it came to Ichiru. He couldn't that here, not when he couldn't pay the consequences. So, he steps back, pulling out of the room without looking back at him.

".... Sorry."

Is all he tells him as heads into the corridor and back to his room. It was better this way.

That's not exactly what he meant, but it's not Zero's fault he takes things that way, given how Ichiru had behaved with him beforehand. Before he could fully leave the room, Ichiru reached out to grab his arm.

"Wait."

Normally, he'd just let it go, but this was different. Zero wasn't a stranger anymore. There was clearly some misunderstanding here and while, he didn't really know how to clear it. He had to at least say something.

He stops mid-step, back to him, letting him hold him in place.

Words were somehow very difficult to say right now. He's not good at expressing how he felt about anything. It wasn't a struggle in the past when he was young. He was able to express himself very openly, doing what he wanted whenever he wanted to the only person that shared the same face as him. He loved him so much yet, at the same time, he felt like he hated him. He didn't understand why he felt that he would hate someone who was always there for him. There were still too many holes to fill and he knew how dangerous it would be if he tried to delve into them now, with his recovered memories.

His grip on Zero's arm became tighter, almost desperately holding on, perhaps afraid that Zero would walk out on him-- but why?! He didn't understand it. It was too much. He really didn't know what else to do, so instead, he just moved closer, because instinctively it felt right. He understood it now that he could recall at least something. Without much warning, his forehead rested against Zero's shoulder.

"What are you apologizing for, dummy?"

Unable to ignore that grip, Zero turns to face him and Ichiru so easily catches him off guard. He stiffens and for a painful moment remembers the days before that woman, before the blood and the silver threads that swept them up in a waking nightmare. The memories come flooding in all at once and his heart stutters at the barrage of emotions he'd kept at bay for so long.

His eyes crease as the memories come to halt, recalling the blood that seeped into the ground that day. The once vibrant scent growing stale as the echo of death set into a face that mirrored his own. For the second time in his life, Zero had to face the mortality of life as his last connection to the world was once more severed by a Pureblood.

Ichiru still hadn't let go. In fact, his grip just further tightened himself around Zero's hands. His brows were scrunched together briefly as Zero stiffened. Did he figure it out? What was he thinking? He couldn't really tell even though they were facing each other. When he looked directly at Zero's eyes, he recognized every feature of it as his own. Everything that he had known was clearer.

"You're going to get wrinkles if you keep knitting your brows like that."

Not that he can say much since he had momentarily scrunched his own brows. They relaxed though, "You look like you have something to say."

His expression was almost gentle at this point, knowing that he still stirred emotions from Zero no matter what he did. He was always doing that wasn't he-- causing Zero all kinds of pain and sorrow?

That gentle smile was too much for the dam he'd so desperately tried to keep between them. Cracks started appearing here and there, compromising the integrity of the entire structure until all he could do was bury his anguish into his brother's shoulder to bite back the words he knew he couldn't tell him.

Edited 2018-01-15 06:52 (UTC)

Before, this kind of gesture would immediately make him stiffen up, however because he was aware, the gesture was left a gesture. It takes him a moment to consider what he should do. In the end, he lets go of Zero's arm in lieu of pulling him into an embrace.

Warmth seeps down into the frigid depths of his heart melting the very frame that held the dam together. With a simple embrace, the older gives way to the younger leaving behind a trail of tears that marked his battered state.

He didn't make excuses, or offer apologies. None of it will be able to undo what has been done. This he knows. There's no fixing this. After all, he was still a fragment of himself. He could hardly offer anything to Zero. Not that he ever did to begin with. He always took advantage of his brother. It was natural for Zero to be in a constant state of anguish.

"You honestly, haven't changed at all..." he almost mused lightly before adding quietly, "Zero-nii-san."

He stiffens in his hold, eyes widening as he pulls back far enough to see him while those words resonate deep within.

"Ichi...ru?"

His name comes out almost in a whisper, the tone agitated, afraid of the answer.

Edited 2018-01-15 07:43 (UTC)

"Hmm...?"

He's still processing the memories, but he didn't seem to deny the tone.

"You look like you've seen a ghost now."

He's not trying to make light of the situation but Zero's confused face was a little worth the small chuckle.

He clings to him then, his arms locking around him, holding him tight almost afraid to let go.

"You idiot."

"And here I thought you'd get angry instead."

Calling him an idiot. C'mon Zero.

Of course, he lets it happen. He can tell how much Zero had held back prior to knowing about his memories. At some point he linked his arms around his brother as well, his forehead pressing against Zero's now. He's still mentally exhausted from all of this, regardless.

Edited 2018-01-15 07:58 (UTC)

By this point, he's been through the wringer, twice! He's running on fumes here.

"How long?"

How long have you known?!

Ichiru can't blame him, so he's taking this as he goes. He doesn't hesitate to answer because there is nothing to hide.

"When I woke up earlier. It was hazy at first but when you came, I was able to confirm it. However, It's all still muddled."

Which honestly was not that long. That's why he's burrowing your forehead.

Edited 2018-01-15 08:11 (UTC)

Then the pull he'd felt earlier... His grip on him softens but remains firm, not ready to let go of him just yet.

"You got your memories back."

He's heard of it happening to other shinki, but he never thought... He looks at Ichiru as if seeing him for the first time.

Ichiru knew that Zero would feel that pull and in lieu of that, he did make his way here as Ichiru anticipated but not quite like this.

"No. I don't have recollection of anything beyond things concerning you. There are still missing parts."

Many to say the least. He doesn't mimd. It was the comfort that's calming his head down. He's a but out of it still.

Edited 2018-01-15 08:28 (UTC)

There's an overflow of questions at the tip of his tongue but he's restrained by the need to secrecy regarding anything to do with his identity.

"Don't strain yourself, Ichiru."

It's enough that you remember him. It's more than he ever thought could happen. Maybe a memory or two but this much... it's a miracle.

Ichiru knows that Zero has a lot of questions for him-- many of which he might be aware of and others not so much, given there's still a hole in his memories.

"You worry too much."

He replied softly closing his eyes, shifting his head to Zero's shoulder to hide the frustration that still lined his face at the thought of not remembering more, "It's frustrating."

Admittedly, he's being a little honest here. Probably due to his own state right now.

Edited (ooc: note did you choose the similar icon or it was just random cuz lolol matching icons) 2018-01-15 15:15 (UTC)

Long fingers settle just above his head, slipping through his hair as he lets him lean into his shoulder.

"I know." He murmurs, his voice low, almost afraid to break the truce. "I know."

The pat on the head felt very nice as they combed through his messy hair. He only proceeded to lean into the touch more. This was his place always. That's why it felt comfortable being here. They were one in the same. Even if they had their differences.

Ichiru could only lightly chuckle at Zero's repetition. He didn't say anything because it was nice right now. He didn't want to change the mood. After all he still felt very messed up after waking up this way.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

memories

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

I ... had to add the last part..........

1/2 || i hate you.... /cries/

2/2

no subject

no subject

<-- refer to icon

/sobs everywhere/

it's the waterworks ohohohohoh

you did it on purpose!!!

I TOTALLY DID. IT PLAYED OUT PERFECTLY.~

i hate you so much right now! look at the mess you left your brother in!!! take responsibility!!!

I AM AREN'T I!?!! I HAVEN'T STOPPED JEEEZ!!!! DSKGSS LOLOLOLLLLLL LOVE YOU!

No love!!! You hurt my heart.

Ehhhhhhh that's normal

their entire existence is not normal!

Their existence is weird and out of the ordinary so ?? XD that's normal for them

this entire thread is killing me and I blame you!

that's not news to me. You're always blaming me for your misfortunes /shrug/ LOL

no subject

no subject