Closed Scene

[ochitashinigami]

Who: Eric Slingby and Alan Humphries
When: December 26th
Where: Alan's Home
What: Tea and drinks
Warnings: Angst, will update as needed.

Eric's palms are sweating as he knocks on the door. He holds a bottle of wine by the neck and takes a deep breath.

Comments

[amongthethorns]

"That was very thoughtful of you." He's pouring the tea, making Eric's just the way he likes it before handing it to him gesturing to the snacks and the sofa. "Please help yourself and make yourself feel at home."

A glance to the wine bottle and he felt his heart skip a beat. That's his favorite wine - one of the few things he drank, when he did drink on the odd occasion before he arrived. Pouring his own tea his sitting down.

"I agree, it's good to see you again. What did you want to discuss with me? Was there something in particular?"

[ochitashinigami]

"I..." He starts awkwardly, hesitantly. He sets down the teacup and gets up, walks over to Alan. He puts his hand on Alan's cheek and looks deep in his eyes. He can't help it. He knows he met this man twice now and he'll likely end up terrifying him. But, he can't help it.

"I want to know why I feel the way I feel the way I look at you."

[amongthethorns]

"You?" He prompts softly even if he has a damned good idea where this is going. Death, yes he does. As Eric puts down his teacup, Alan does the same. He knows that look and it hurts him but at the same time, he's missed it. That mix of confusion and determination.

There's a hand on his cheek and instinctively, without a single care for caution - which he should have - he's leaning into that touch and closing his eyes. There's a sting and burn behind his closed lids. Alan would be happy to tell him but the risks are too great. He can't If the risk was to himself fine so be it but this? This can't happen.

Even knowing that, words are clawing their way up his throat. 'You feel that way about me because we were close. Because somewhere along the way lines between mentor and trainee, partner and friend blurred into something totally different.' But he mustn't say it. So he's swallowing them down, before letting out a heavy sigh.

"I can't tell you why you feel whatever it is you feel."

Drawing his cheek away from that touch he's taking Eric's hand gently in his. "I can't tell you. I wish I had answers I could give you but I don't, Eric." Technically, he's twisting and manipulating the truth but it's for Eric's own good, for his safety.

[ochitashinigami]

"But there is something, and you know what it is." He says with some certainty.

[amongthethorns]

"Eric," There's a note of pleading to his voice as he squeezes the hand his holding - rubbing his thumb along the back of it. "There's nothing I can tell you. Any knowledge I may or may not have I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to. I can't."

[ochitashinigami]

"Hey, it's all right. I won't pressure you." He continues to stroke Alan's cheek. "If you can't tell me the reason I'll trust you. Just... there is a reason, right? I'm not crazy?"

[amongthethorns]

Alan leans into that touch just a bit more letting out a soft relieved sigh. At least Eric won't push anymore. But he's going to have to tread very, very carefully. He can't out right say, 'No, you're not crazy. We used to spend so much time together.' He's pretty sure that's what makes shinki become ayakashi. He won't let that happen to Eric.

So instead of all the words that hang on his tongue, he's opening his eyes and peering up at Eric. He licks his lips before instead settling on. "I don't think you're crazy." And he's just staring at him, weighing his options. Even since Wendy had told him about it Alan had a feeling he'd make use of it. This Nora-ing thing.

"I know you've found your god but I could name you, too. You could be one of my shinki, too. Even if you're not my exemplar I can have you and Castiel. You would still be your god's exemplar but if you want to be mine - my secondary I suppose, I could take you, too."

[ochitashinigami]

"You don't? I don't need to know why I'm not crazy. I just need to know that I'm not. You don't need to tell me what you know, just that you know it. Are you able to give me that much, at least?"

He listens to him talk. "I... I don't know anything about all of this. But if you can do that, I'm agreeable."

[amongthethorns]

"I don't." Alan gives a little shake of his head. "I know." He confesses softly, a roughness to his voice that comes from being a bit overwhelmed and a pang in his chest that makes him lean forward into that touch.

"I can do that. I can give you another name. Where would you like it?" He's gesturing to Eric's body with a hand. Alan has never taken a Nora but Eric - Eric is a special case.

[ochitashinigami]

"I'll believe you. That will be enough for me." Damn this feeling. He's met Alan twice now, but he'll believe anything this man says, and he knows that.

"Ok." He take's Alan's hand in his and places at the top of his hip, stepping closer, almost nose to nose. "That will do."