thenearshore | closed / a belated conversation

Entry tags:

closed / a belated conversation

Who: Genjo Sanzo (

killsthebuddha) and Cho Hakkai (

reformedsinner)
When: April 6th, midmorning
Where: Menrva's temple library
What: There certainly are a lot of doubles around lately. That might be something they need to talk about.
Warnings: Probable foul language & possible discussion of violence.

[It's pointless trying to talk to Sanzo before he's had time to wake up. It hadn't taken Hakkai long to learn that about his new junior shinki: one attempt to wake him up for breakfast, in fact, and the conversation that ensued.

There are some advantages to this. One of them is that it gives Hakkai plenty of time in the morning to get his other chores done and think about what, exactly, he's going to say.

It's almost impossible that Sanzo managed to avoid all three of the strangers (and whatever other doubles there might have been, who Hakkai might not have noticed; but they hadn't mentioned others. That's something, he supposes.) Even if he had, it's completely impossible that he'll manage it too much longer, and so, once Hakkai's given him a few hours to finish waking up from the shoulders up, he puts away his broom and mop and heads directly for the library. Their students rarely show up before lunch. It makes the room a good place for a quiet conversation.]

Sanzo. Do you have a little time? We should talk.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ If one were to ask Sanzo, being functional before ten was complete bullshit. Even midmorning can still be iffy if he's given a choice, but he's at least fully dressed and onto his third cup of green tea at the desk he'd claimed as his preferred work space. ]

Ah?

[ He doesn't immediately look up from the text that had caught his eye the other day, finishing the phrase he'd been reading on a page with unusual illustrations of monks and skeletons. Only then does Hakkai get his attention, and he reaches for his cup as he glances up over the rims of his reading glasses. ]

[Well, that's enough of an invitation; Hakkai hooks a chair out with one foot and sits down in it, crossing his legs and folding his hands gently on his knee.

There's no good, delicate way to start this conversation, so he'll be blunt. It seems to be the best approach with Sanzo anyway.]

I encountered some very familiar-looking new gods at the school yesterday.

[ Sanzo sighs, leaning back in his chair. Time to talk for real, as frankly as they dared. It's safer than discussing this with anyone else, he imagines, given the similarity of their positions. Gojyo would have been risky, and he's not entirely sure Elsa would be of any use to start with given the way she was dealing with the pressure.

Or, rather, not dealing with it. Not well, at any rate. ]

They're a problem. [ He has to admit that much right off. ] Not just 'new gods,' but true gods.

Are they. We didn't have a chance to discuss that.

[That just adds a new, bizarre aspect to the whole thing, doesn't it? Hakkai lets out a long breath.]

Regardless, I agree. It's a problem. [For several reasons: top of the list is whatever their existence and their relationships implies about Sanzo and Hakkai's past lives. With them here, it'll be impossible not to notice. It's easier to think that it's nothing, but is that true? And what happens if it's just self-delusion, and they are reminded? Second problem: they don't know if those doubles are trustworthy or not, or what their goals might be, and trying to find out also runs the risk of learning too much.]

I don't think we can ignore them.

We're not being given a choice.

[ Deciding to be an avowed atheist had lasted less than two weeks, apparently, but he believed it without a doubt. It hadn't been evident at first, just that there had been something strange, but Gojyo's statement had rung far too true and helped slot that piece where it belonged.

One more question Sanzo dares not ask: Why did he feel so comfortable assuming that he could recognize the presence of a real god? ]

If we have to kill any of them, no warning shots. [ It seemed important. The most dangerous scenario ought to be first to address, he thinks. ] Konzen has dangerous reflexes, and I imagine the other two do, too.

What did he do? [That's an important question, too. Hakkai hadn't seen any hint of danger from him, but then, Hakkai apparently looked like someone Konzen thought of as close; Sanzo looks like Konzen, and that could have set off a much more threatened response.

It's not as though Hakkai'd been at his best speaking to his own double.]

-- Don't worry, I'm not in favor of warnings.

[He wouldn't be surprised if all of them were dangerous. If there's anything similar about them at all, they must be.]

But I'd prefer not to count them as enemies unless it's unavoidable. [He glances at Sanzo, and his lips thin. He doesn't want to have to add this -- he doesn't want to think about it, in fact: it's a vulnerability that they can't address and can't defend against, and it makes his skin crawl. But that makes it even more important to consider.] If they know anything about us, they can just tell us, you realize.

I shot at him and, suddenly, lost the will to keep fighting.

[ It's a disturbing concept. He's briefly distracted by a sudden, insistent meowing from the floor at his feet, and he glances down with a severe frown. But, instead of shooing it, he scoops the obnoxious little thing up to keep it quiet. At some point, he really needed to tell that one kid to keep his damn cat out of the temple. Didn't anyone realize this wasn't a zoo?

For now, however, he's stuck manfully ignoring an ecstatically purring cat on his lap. ] I could've shot him in cold blood, but I didn't want to deal with the bitching if I triggered that 'stinging' bullshit.

[ Very deliberately, he does not address that line about if those gods knew anything about them. It confirmed something for him, though. Hakkai did think far too much in the wrong direction. ]

So he was able to affect your mind.

[That's -- interesting. Although the fact that he apparently didn't use the power until after Sanzo had already attacked him was potentially a reassuring sign.

He won't go any further into the question of what those other gods could do to them if they knew too much; Sanzo's silence is enough of a hint that he doesn't want to discuss it, and Hakkai's uncomfortable bringing up the topic, too. The less they discuss it, the easier it will be to put it out of their minds.

Maybe.

Maybe that works for Sanzo, at least, and Hakkai will ... keep trying, he supposes.]

That's an interesting ability.

[Possibly a counterpart to Gojyo's, in fact. It's something to keep in mind. Hakkai wonders how hard it would be to cultivate a positive relationship with Konzen, after his first impression of Sanzo involved gunfire and magical pacification....]

I see Kishi likes you. [--he adds, with a flicker of amusement. The kitten's purring is audible even from the other side of the desk.]

Mm. [ Interesting doesn't cover the half of it, but Sanzo isn't comfortable with the vulnerability implied in admitting he'd had his head upside down so easily. In what is no doubt a healthy coping mechanism, he immediately takes the opportunity to complain when given the chance. ]

Annoying creatures following me must be karma. Noisy cats, empty-headed monkeys- [ Never mind that, when the Goku was around the temple, Sanzo seemed to drift towards the kid. Never too directly, not unless he was irritated and wanted someone to scold, but just found himself deciding to sit not far off, book in hand, occasionally interacting.

His hand settles on the little purring beast, petting her in subtle movements. ] -tch, and a cockroach, too. It's a fucking menagerie. I don't know if constantly showing up under foot is something false-gods do, or if it's just him.

Are you sure you really mind?

[Hakkai's noticed the way that Sanzo seems to gravitate towards Goku, too, even if he's immediately picked up Sho's nickname of monkey for the boy. And it's been proven true with Goku's second form.

Sanzo's certainly getting his menagerie, all right. Maybe if he wasn't so kind to them, they wouldn't collect so quickly.

There's an extra beast in the list he's just given, though, and Hakkai can't help the sharp glance he shoots Sanzo's way. False god; cockroach -- the insect image does bring to mind the way Gojyo's hair sweeps back from his forehead, with those few wayward locks, doesn't it? Hardly flattering, but apt. Maybe he's just projecting. Gojyo certainly hasn't been showing up underfoot for him.]

... That "cockroach." You don't mean Sha Gojyo, do you?

[ A sound that could have been a laugh is caught in his throat, strangled down at the last moment. It's strangely satisfying that even Hakkai could immediately jump to the resemblance.

Then, a moment later, he realized the sneaky bastard had insulted him to start with with that implication that he liked all this nonsense. Such bullshit, but he couldn't go back now and raise a fuss. Instead, he focuses on insulting Gojyo. that's a good pastime by any standard. ]

That's the one. Saved his dumb ass from ayakashi a few days ago, and my punishment is to keep tripping over him.

[ There really is no justice in the world.

A stray thought crosses his mind. If he's animal theme naming, what was he going to call the more divine roach? He didn't have the antennae. Huh. ]

Really, you have no one but yourself to blame.

[Helpful!

... Since anyone who really wanted a person to leave them alone could always fail to save their lives.

He clears his throat.]

In any case. What happened?

[ Hakkai earns himself a flat look, one that lingers before Sanzo is satisfied that he has, in fact expressed his aggravation adequately. ]

That hopeless moron had no idea what he was doing. [ A faint, mild shrug. ] So I held him at gunpoint until he named me.

[ The rest, he imagines, was self-explanatory. Kishi has moved on to attempting to play-eviscerate his hand, little feet kicking. He gives her a quelling look, and adds as if it were an afterthought. ]

Yesterday, I had to do nearly the same with the god that looks like him. Appearance and idiocy match for them.

[Hakkai's eyebrows are climbing his forehead. That's. That's certainly... interesting.

It might actually have been the last thing he would have expected. Well, if Sanzo was going to have someone else name him, forcing them to do it at gunpoint makes sense. And it's not as if Gojyo seems untrustworthy. It's just that Hakkai really has no idea how he feels about this.

Well, they certainly aren't going to be ignoring them, at least.]

Has anyone told you that strays are thought of as prostitutes?

[ There's a moment, surprisingly long, where Sanzo doesn't seem to so much as breathe, though there's a muscle that jumps in his jaw. There had been a number of possibilities, all of them pleasantly insulting on some level, that he'd come to expect from the man before him. That was not one of them.

And then there's that gun in his hand, the one prominently featured in his sparsely detailed stories.

The kitten is having a field day with the flutter of his sleeves, thoroughly enjoying the swishing fabric. Somehow, it fits the farce that his life has become. ]

Do you want to see what happens when someone does?

[ They can pretend Hakkai said nothing of the sort. ]

[It is a shocking thing to say. But then, so is "I forced two gods to name me at gunpoint over the last few days." Hakkai keeps his hands neatly folded on his knee, not moving a muscle, or bothering to look at the gun that's suddenly made its entry into the conversation.

If Sanzo means to shoot him, he can certainly try.

His voice stays perfectly mild.]

I didn't say I saw it that way, but you might want to be more careful with the information.

[Don't make Elsa look bad -- well, that's one concern. Sanzo not having to shoot anyone for inappropriate responses is another.]

[ Sanzo holds the weapon on him only moments before, finally disgusted with the calm response and his moment of temper passing, he makes a grumbling sound low in his throat. His revolver vanishes into his sleeve, and he ends up scooping up Kishi up to settle the dumb animal back down. The purring starts back up, loud and obnoxious. ]

I'll tell who I want. I don't care who approves or who doesn't.

[ He has his own path to take. ]

But I'd better not hear you talking like that around Goku.

[ He could, somehow, picture it clearly. That dumb confused monkey face with those curious golden eyes. "Persimmon?" "Pomegranate?"

Whatever it was, like hell he was going to be caught up explaining anything about that. He makes a face. ] I'm not dealing with that.

Edited 2016-07-26 01:38 (UTC)

[Around Goku? Hakkai's deliberate calm cracks into genuine surprise leavened with a touch of horror.]

Of course not.

[--and Goku is a stray now too, isn't he? Technically. He'd become a fixture at their temple well before he asked Elsa for a name, but Hakkai's not sure that his god would be willing to release him. Perhaps if his upset was strong enough to distract Susano'o more regularly.

In any case, with Goku, Hakkai is more than willing to blame his god's behavior, rather than his own.

And does that mean he considers Sanzo at fault here? Is it really a situation where he needs to be thinking about "fault"?

Only if it's something that those other two gods had to be threatened into doing, he decides at last. He doesn't mind if it was just convenience in a fight, and the gun was only involved because Sanzo feels better when he is the one giving the orders.]

Are you planning to answer them from now on if they need you? Or was it just for a single battle?

[Because -- going back to their first topic -- that certainly is going to make Sanzo's new god very difficult to ignore.]

[ There's a very satisfying feeling that comes with Hakkai clearly and visibly understanding the visceral horror of having to broach that topic with the kid. Some small part of the tightness in his shoulders and around his eyes eases top see it. At least they understood each other on one account.

And maybe his guard is lower than it should be when Hakkai asks his next question. ]

I'll fight because something needs done, not because I'm told to. [ Perhaps not the most diplomatic thing to say to a man so personally loyal to the 'god' they shared, but it's the truth. He had to follow the path that he'd picked. ] I'll be clear. The only side I'm ever on is my own.

[ Yet for all that he refused to be tied down or commit one way or the other, there was something like an obligation there with that small group of fools that had their marks on him.

But it was not to serve, not by any stretch of the imagination. ]

You don't have to be on their side to be bound to them.

[Which Sanzo is now, like it or not. Hakkai lifts his hands off his knee to cross his arms instead as a tiny frown line etches itself between his eyebrows.

It's not Sanzo's insistence that he's on no one's side that bothers him; it's clear that his loyalty is to be earned and not casually given, for one thing. For another, it's just as clear that he cares more about others than he'd ever admit. Hakkai isn't worried about betrayal.

What he's worried about are consequences.]

If we're being clear with one another, I'll say this. We certainly can't ignore them now.

Tch.

[ It's not wrong, but he can't afford to accept that. ]

You can do what you want, but I won't be bound by anything. If you can't ignore them, that's your own problem.

[ He has to be able to believe that. ]

[Hakkai considers him for a long moment. Sanzo isn't stupid: Hakkai hasn't known him long, but he's known him long enough to be convinced of that. Therefore, this is deliberate denial. Forcing him to break it will be too much work for too little reward, and, in any case, he must know he's wrong already.]

Be careful who you render others unable to ignore, then.

You're putting too much weight behind this.

[ Thinking Sanzo isn't stupid might be a miscalculation. Intellectually, certainly not. Emotionally?

Well... ]

If anyone thinks I'm dragging them down, Elsa can cast me off. I don't care either way.

I doubt she'll choose to cast you off unless you care to be.

Well, don't do anything too stupid. Remember, it's up to your gods to let you go.

[Which they might, if they want to. If Sanzo doesn't bind himself to anyone who decides they like that control. Perhaps it's safer that he's chosen gods that he threatened into it in dire situations, so far?

Perhaps this is all a terrible idea that not only Sanzo will come to regret. Hakkai sighs and gets to his feet, brushing some nonexistent dust from his sleeve.]

I think you're not putting enough weight behind it, but it's up to you, isn't it, Sanzo?

Yeah, and maybe you're right. [ It's not nearly the admission that it sounds like. ]

But I'm not asking anyone else to carry this for me. You should pay attention to what you've picked up instead.

[ Very deliberately, he adjusts his glasses and looks down at the poem he'd been reading. For some reason, he can't focus on the words and it makes the illustrations all the more striking. It's as meaningless as those skeletons that acted out the motions of life. ]

Perhaps I should.

[Hakkai's eyebrows flick minutely up, and he inclines his head before turning to go.

He doesn't feel like they've resolved very much. On the plus side, at least they've exchanged a little information.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

closed / a belated conversation

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject