Semi-open - You are the sun

[rockthemonkey]

Who: Son Goku and friends.
When: December 5th and 6th
Where: Huitzilopochtli's temple and Tokyo.
What: Catch-all log for some things. Training with his shinki, hanging out and wandering around town.




A. December 5th- Morning (closed to kagenonadeshiko)

[It's a chilly morning beneath the treehouse currently posing as the temple of Huitzilopochtli. There's no snow on the ground here yet, thankfully, but there's a bit of frost on the ground this early in the day.

But that's not really their concern at the moment. Goku is doing warm-up stretches, humming to himself happily and thinking about how good the breakfast they just had was. That will entertain him all the way till lunch.]

So, you wanted to practice fighting and stuff, right? [He straightens up to start stretching out his arms.] Do you wanna spar? Uh, I've never really fought a fox before but we can try it if you want!


B. December 5th- Afternoon (Open)

[Eventually, Ayumu has better things to do with her day and Goku still needs to be fed. He could go beg food off Hakkai or Chikusa, but he suspects they have better things to do with their day too. Instead Goku decides to take a trip to the Near Shore, wandering the streets of Tokyo and ending up in Togoshi and trying to haggle with a vendor selling croquettes.]

Hey, if I buy four, can you give me five instead? [Goku, what. The seller at least looks more bemused than offended.] Or, or! If I buy five can I try one of those others ones as well? Please?

[You can get away with a lot with a face like this. He's probably not actually going to get any free food though.]


C. December 6th (closed to erogappa)

[Once again, Goku needs to eat. It's sort of a running theme in his life. He also craves company, another running theme in his life. Ayumu can only spoil her new god so much, Hakkai has a job or something lame like that and Chikusa and Ken are too busy paying attention to each other so-]

This way, this way! [Goku is dragging Gojyo to Inokashira Park one early morning. No, this will totally be worth it, he promises.] Someone told me there's some guys here who sell really yummy yakitori!

[Normally at this hour the park would be full of joggers and people on their way to work, but it's oddly quiet today. Maybe it's too cold for them. Goku is fairly bundled up himself and he's still pretty chilly, after all.]

Gojyo, come on! I'm hungry!


D. Wildcard

[Anything we've plotted elsewhere, we can throw it into this log if you want.]

Comments

[rockthemonkey]

[Goku winces a little from the sudden sting of guilt he feels, but it's impossible for him to know who it's coming from. Given how the past week has gone, he kind of suspects Ayumu more than Gojyo. Whatever, he'll just shrug it off.]

Yeah, Hakkai told me. Don't worry, he'll be back before too long.

[The sun will rise, Sanzo will be with them again, all facts of the universe. At least, that's how it sounds the way Goku says it.]

[erogappa]

I hope so. [ It's nothing but the truth. He might have fought with both Hakkai and Sharak the entire time he's been here, and actively tried to kill Doku, but Genjo? Genjo was a cool guy.

After another moment's silence, he figures it's safe to ask: ] You knew Hakkai before, right? [ Pretending to go along with the idea that they're all who they remember being is just easier -- he's getting so tired of being told he's stupid and wrong for being suspicious of the party line. ]

Do you trust him?

[rockthemonkey]

[None of them believe the party line, Gojyo, the rest of them just have a little more basis for their own theories. Sorry.

Goku looks confused so very often these days. And most days, to be fair.] Hakkai? Yeah, of course, I've known him for ages. [That almost has nothing to do with Gojyo- Hakkai's allowed to have friends from his past around- so Goku thinks it's safe to say.] ... Of course I trust him.

[Hakkai might do stupid, reckless, dangerous things on occasion- but they typically only endanger himself. Even if he does lie or do something strange, Goku has never had any reason to doubt that Hakkai cares about him and wants to act in his best interest.]

[erogappa]

Even though he's done some pretty bad stuff?

[ He's not here to drag Hakkai's name through the mud, not this time. His tone isn't pointed, and he's honestly not really enjoying this conversation. They all have different memories, some of them conflicting, so none of those memories can be trusted. But all the gods here rely on their memories as real -- Hakkai really thinks he's the person he remembers being, and it's probably the same for Goku here. tl;dr they aren't real, but they think they are, and it's just easier to treat them like they're real. ]

He told me that he's killed people. A lot of people.

[rockthemonkey]

What? ... Oh, you mean- yeah, I know about that stuff.

[Chikusa had said Gojyo had been pretty upset about it, hadn't he? And that Gojyo had been trying to turn people against Hakkai, saying bad stuff about him behind his back, and telling everyone about his past. Goku shifts uncomfortably.]

All that doesn't have anything to do with me, so it doesn't change how I feel about him. Besides, it's not like I don't understand why he did it.

[It wasn't a good thing to do but... it was an understandable thing to do.]

[erogappa]

[ Gojyo blinks in surprise at Goku for a moment -- damn, kid, that's one serious face! -- before turning away and shaking his head, laughing. ]

Don't look at me like that! I didn't mean it that way. It's just...

[ How to say it? ]

Bein' a shinki, it's like... like what you said. We wake up and we don't know anything except our names, but that's not really true. We know a lot of stuff... we're not babies. We can walk and talk and fight and read, but we don't remember learning how to do any of that stuff. We just know it.

[ His breath puffs out with every word, little ghosts that fade away as he moves through them. ]

But sometimes the stuff we 'just know' isn't right. [ He reaches up, rubs his own hair through his hat. ] I thought I knew what this meant, but everyone kept tellin' me I was wrong. [ He kicks at a tiny pebble on the walkway, sending it skittering off sideways past the railings into the tall grass beyond. ] They said I was wrong to hate Doku for killin' my mom. They said I was wrong about everything.

So then... [ Shit. He's dumping so much on the kid, but there's got to be a limit to how much he'll share. He glances at Goku, then back at the path ahead, picking his words carefully. ] Then there's this person, and right away they're familiar. You're drawn to 'em, you know? But it's dangerous for you to be around them. And then you find out that they did all these terrible things, and you think, shit, maybe this person is really somebody I should stay away from. But you don't want to.

So that's why I'm askin'. Because I'm a shinki. I don't have any memories from before six months ago. I don't know who I am, and I sure as hell don't know who Hakkai is... but you do. So if you say he's a good person and you trust him, then...

[ His voice finally trails off, and he stuffs his hands further into his pockets, looking away abashedly. He really hadn't meant to say all of that. ]

[rockthemonkey]

[He can be serious, sometimes. When it's important, of course he'll care about it. Goku listens quietly, less uncomfortable and more curious as he tries to understand what Gojyo's saying. His eyes widen at the mention of Dokugakuji, but the way Gojyo is presenting things that's just a minor footnote.]

... Hakkai's definitely dangerous. [Thanks, Goku. He'll appreciate that.] But I'm dangerous too. And so are you, I think. Everyone can be dangerous.

[He's seen so many people these past few years, both "normal" and not, human and not, and he's seen so many of them hurt others. There are a million ways to do it and beating someone up isn't even one of the worse ones.]

But Hakkai knows that and he's never pretended he's not. He did something bad, but he never pretended it was good or that it didn't matter. [Goku scratches his cheek and looks up thoughtfully. He's not sure he's putting this in very reassuring terms, but all he can do is be honest.] When I met Hakkai, it was right after all that stuff. He was ready to die because of it, but he didn't. He started hanging out with me and Sanzo and teaching me stuff. [He's speaking a bit more carefully here. He's aware of the danger.] He'd cook and he'd explain things to me and look out for me and- and all kinds of stuff. But I knew I liked him as soon as I met him.

[There'd been something in his eyes that Goku just liked. He hadn't bothered examining that then and he's not about to now.]

I'm not gonna tell ya what you should do, but I think if you like someone and being around them makes you happy, you should do that. [It's pretty simple.] I know that Hakkai likes being around you and that you're important to him. He'd never hurt you on purpose.

[erogappa]

[ No, beating somebody up isn't anywhere near the worst way to hurt them.

He was ready to die, says Goku, and Gojyo's heart stops. (His heart doesn't actually beat, because he's dead/not real/insert theory of the day here. But that doesn't mean he can't feel it stop nonetheless, his chest seizing painfully, crushing his lungs and making his vision begin to tunnel.

He has so much to make up for. So much. It's going to take lifetimes to repair the damage he did in these last six months.

He's silent after Goku finishes, mulling over all this new information (although let's be real, it's mostly just wallowing in all this new guilt). There's questions he wants to ask, but he can't, and anything else he can think of to say will only make his guilt-blight worse. At last, though, he finds the right path. ]

If you did something bad, and I mean really bad. Hurting somebody on purpose bad. [ Ahead, a group of three or four families -- moms with kids -- have paused in their morning stroll. The tiny kids are toddling about on the walkway, wrapped up in winter clothes to the point where they look like little stuffed animals. Their excited screams are piercing. ] What would you do to make it right?

[rockthemonkey]

[Goku feels the rush of guilt and pain with a dash of confusion. Why is he upset? It's not a sad thing to talk about. It's hopeful and evidence of how important they all are to each other- why would that make him upset? Hakkai was in a bad place, but now he's doing better. He has people who care about him and who he cares about as well.

Weird.]

Make sure I didn't do it again. [A prompt, simple answer.] Whatever I have to do to make sure that doesn't happen again... I'll just do that.

[There are things Goku's done or caused that he hates too. But if he's stronger, Sanzo won't get hurt protecting him. If he's stronger, his limiter won't have to come off again and he won't hurt people himself. If he's stronger, Sanzo won't have to watch him be hurt.]

[erogappa]

[ Really, it shouldn't come as a surprise that Goku's answer is so simple. Just don't do it again! It's a kid's logic, but... but he knows Hakkai. (Or he thinks he knows Hakkai, anyway. He knows a Hakkai.) Maybe the answer really is to just not be a fuck-up again? ]

Oh, is that all? Just don't do it again? [ Gojyo's foot flicks out to the side, not actually trying to trip Goku, just... just halfway trying to trip him. ] You're saying I should just quit bein' a dumbass, is that it?

[rockthemonkey]

[Why make things complicated when a simple answer will do? Making things complicated just leaves more room for fucking up.]

Hey! [Goku stumbles over his feet, just managing to right himself before he falls over. Gojyo gets shoved in retaliation.] If you know you're bein' a dumbass, quit bein' a dumbass! Even a cockroach can do that!

[An uplifting and encouraging sentiment.]

[erogappa]

I don't know what else I expected from a shrimp.

[ Oh, it's on. Gojyo wraps his arms around Goku's head -- or tries to, anyway -- giving the kid the mother of all noogies. ]

Only simple thoughts can fit in your tiny shrimp brain, right?

[ If asked, he wouldn't have the faintest idea why the shrimp's dumb advice resonated so thoroughly with him. There was just something about Goku that made him want to trust him. ]

[rockthemonkey]

[Goku is an experienced, brilliant fighter, with both power and skill on his side. Many an enemy has tried to hit him only to find him behind them, or already knocking them down, and- no, wait, let him go, he has no defence against noogies!]

I'm not a shrimp and I'm smarter than a cockroach! [Flailing and squirming and trying to break free to no avail!] Lemme go, ya dumb jerk!

[You can always trust Goku. Deception is too complicated for him.]