[Closed] When it rains it pours

[handsome_genius]

Who: Cnoc Áine and related Akatsuki no Yona CR
When: December 22nd, 28th
Where: Around the Far Shore, but probably a lot at Yona's and Hak's Temples
What: Yoon has remembered both Yona and Hak. At the same time.

---
[Dec 22-27]
[ Not much of what he remembered surprised him by now. He'd been able to learn through his own observations that Yona was kind and Hak kind of a dumbass and both traits got them both into trouble. He also knew from the two scattered memories he'd gained previously that he could trust Hak out of shared desire to keep Yona safe, while Yona respected Yoon's autonomy more than he'd originally given gods credit for doing.

It was the earliest memory that hit him the hardest - how badly Hak was injured and how Yona reacted to Yoon's stiff treatment of her for being royalty. Then some pieces started fitting together around what he knew of Zeno and traveling with him. The memory of Yona and Ik-soo talking made a lot more sense knowing that he did end up traveling with Yona and Hak after that, and that arguably that's how he met Jae-ha and Shin-ah and Kija. Which he can't think about too hard.

Everything else he can already remember, but consciously the threads are coming back in pieces. That's why he starts by seeking out Yona and Hak at their temples, but doesn't intentionally avoid their other shinki along the way. ]

---

[Dec 28th]
[ Following his BBS post, he's starting to think broader - about what this means for shinki of all kinds. He remembered two people at once and hadn't heard of that happening to other shinki before. Does it make it better or worse, remembering and still being a shinki? How long will it be before he remembers everything about Jae-ha, Kija, and Shin-ah? Especially Kija after how they met in the Near Shore on that beach the first time.

He'll be walking around Yona's temple cleaning up and checking the BBS as he works through these questions and others. ]

Comments

[darkestbefore]

[ She freezes in place, her eyes widening for a moment as she blinks at him and this rush of words, trying to wrap her head around the meaning. She almost drops her teacup when his words finally sink in. ]

You... remember... wait, what do you remember? You mean when Zeno... [ She stops, still unsure of how much she could say. ]

[handsome_genius]

[ Especially with Yoon, he knows he can't fault Yona for being careful. ]

You're the reason I met Zeno. You and Hak. You both crashed into my life at the same time. I remember how wounded Hak was... And I was the one tending to both of your wounds, but especially his. Figures.

[ That his predisposition for triaging wounds lasted into his shinki life, that Hak was the one who had been hurt worse, that he'd remember the two of them on the same night. ]

Then you had to go looking for allies - the four dragon warriors. I already knew before that I went with you on a journey, but I was blind to the fact that when I met Zeno while I was traveling, you were there the whole time. You were why... all of it...

[ It was still so much to think about. It seems silly to him now, that he'd imagined so much of a journey with Zeno only to miss Yona and Hak just outside of his vision, or blurred right in front of his eyes as they all stood together. He had that memory of them all on the pirate ship to imagine plenty of other connections... but he couldn't, shouldn't, for fear of his own life. ]

I remembered the pirate ship before - the four of them with us. Zeno, Jae-ha, Kija, Shin-ah... I'm sure they're like you and Zeno, walking alongside me in my memories I do have, where I can't look.

[ His hands go to his shirt, his grip tight with emotion. ]

We went so many places... I don't remember how the journey ended, but I know that the last thing I remember you and Hak and Zeno were all still there by my side.

[darkestbefore]

[ She listens as he explains, frozen, barely daring to breath. Not wanting to interrupt him as the words spill out. Before he is finished, though, her eyes are stinging with tears, her throat thick with choked emotion that she tries to swallow around. She knows she should say something but she's at a loss for words, struggling with guilt, with grief, with relief - all too much to sort at once.

But what she can do is move forward with a sudden energy, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug, drawing him close and wrapping her arms around him. her hug is tight and fierce as she buries her face against his shoulder, holding onto him for dear life. ]

I will always stand by your side, Yoon. Just as you always stand by mine. I could never have done it without you.

[handsome_genius]

[ He just barely manages to get both hands around her back to return the hug, and he doesn't mind. He's still so overwhelmed by everything, but Yona understands all about that. He knows that now. She's always been more than he ever gave her credit for on first meeting her, because he believes her, that she'll be at his side - as if he was the one making this enormous journey, rather than him being the one who tagged along on hers. ]

It's so unfair, Yona... to have waited this long to know what- how- all of it that we've been through. That I knew so much about Zeno before you! It's just...

[ He squeezes her back. He likes Zeno, truly, for all his quirks, but he'd met Yona first. Her and Hak. So how had it been fair that he should forget two of the only friends he's ever and not remember them at least in some kind of rational order? It was too strange and frustrating.

He feels more emotion well in his throat, but he makes sure not to shout right against Yona's ear - just heated ranting along the lines of a hissed whisper. ]

I don't want to be a god, I just don't want to forget again, Yona!

[darkestbefore]

[ Her grip just tightens around him at his hushed whisper, able to hear the tight emotion in his voice. She shares it, swallowing through her tears as she buries her face against his shoulder for a moment before giving a soft, hiccupping laugh. ]

You won't. You remember now. You're remembering more. That seems to be how it happens, doesn't it? In bits and pieces, at the strangest times. I don't know why you remembered now and not before, but... I'm so glad you have, Yoon. I've missed you so much. And yes, I know you've been here the whole time but it... wasn't quite the same and always worrying that I'd say the wrong thing....

[ Her voice breaks and she hides her face for a moment. ]

I'm just so relieved.

[handsome_genius]

[ He nods when she says he'd been here the whole time but- because he understands. He had those glimmers of knowledge about her too and it doesn't change the emotions washing over him now, the revelation that Yona didn't stop at inviting him on a journey and simply hanging on to the travel party like a tourist. Hak would have preferred that, he's pretty sure, to better keep her safe, but she wouldn't stand for it. And that's just one of the many things he can appreciate about her even more now. The Yona that he grew to know in the Far Shore is much stronger than the one he met and chastised for being a spoiled princess. ]

I'm sorry... for causing you all that worry.

[ His hands stay against her back, but his head leans against hers, likewise on the verge of tears. They haven't ever been apart for very long, and yet, a wall between them has been removed, like they were both leaning against it until now and just able to speak to one another through it but that's all. ]

I don't ever want to do that again.

[darkestbefore]

[ She gives a choked sort of laugh when he apologizes to her, her arms tightening for a moment as she gives him a warm squeeze. ]

It's alright. I know you would never do that on purpose. It was just something out of both of our control. You don't have to worry about it anymore - neither of us do.

[ She pulls back then, her hands still gripping his shoulders as she gives him a watery smile, still feeling emotional. ]

We can face whatever comes together again - completely.

[handsome_genius]

[ He was starting to regain his composure, just hugging her and not looking her in the eyes, but when she pulled back it got worse again. Then she spoke and the timbre in her voice made him tear back up again too. He wondered how they ever faced these sorts of issues before - if several of them were traveling together, he felt too embarrassed by the idea of these conversations taking place where someone else could hear them. ]

It's not about... facing something. It's what I already did - and didn't do.

[ He rubs at once cheek, trying to finish his thought without babbling too much. ]

Whatever happened... you're a goddess, and I'm a shinki. So I still did something wrong to end up like this. And you've been suffering for it this whole time, not able to talk to me. It doesn't matter that I didn't do it on purpose, Yona, I still did it. And I can't take it back.

[darkestbefore]

[ She stills at this statement, cold dread sliding down her spine before she gives a hiccupped cry and flings her arms about him again, shaking her head vehemently. ]

No, no! You didn't do anything wrong, Yoon! Don't you dare think like that! This place... I know what is the common accepted information is about this place and how we are here but.... Yoon. Not everything is at it seems. And there I things I can't - won't - say. But trust me when I say that you've done nothing wrong.

[ She squeezes him tighter, as if that will be enough to protect him from what those words imply. ]

I swear it on everything I hold dear. You've done nothing you need to be sorry for.

Wrap maybe with promise of new things? <3

[handsome_genius]

[ He takes a deep breath, contemplating her words while she's hugging him like that, and then another. He wants to believe her. That's the easier thing. She wants to absolve him of the guilt for all of the stress she's been under. But if not his fault, then whose? He wants someone to blame so that Yona's pain can have meant something, rather than nothing at all for no reason.

But he has enough memories now to know that sometimes bad things happen to good people. If Zeno were still here, he'd point to him straight away. ]

... Okay.

[ His voice is quiet at first. ]

Okay, Yona.

[ He's not fully absolved of his guilt for making her feel this way, but he's on the way there, and if nothing else he doesn't want her to keep crying now on his account, even if it wasn't his fault in the beginning. ]

I trust you.