thenearshore | How much is the fish?

Entry tags:

How much is the fish?

Who: Zelda and Caster
What: It's a serious Talk about some Things that happened, but it starts with fish as peace offering
When: December 29th
Where: Metis' temple grounds
Warnings: The koi are alive but almost froze to death, aside from that, IDK. There is pain of magic nerds

[ The time between Christmas and New Year is filled with celebrations, at least on the Near Shore. Time to spend with family- oh wait, it's Japan, it's more of a dates thing. But anyway, regardless of that Caster spends a lot of his time on trips to various locations with frozen lakes and rivers to get fresh fish. At least when he's not needed elsewhere.

See, fishing is a great way to not talk and not think.

But this day is special, this day what he discovers is less of a lake and more of a frozen, abandoned decorative pond. The ice has almost taken over, but it turns out the fish are well and alive still. Albeit there isn't much time left for them. There would be even less left time for them if they were kind of fish that makes good food. But turns out they're just pretty gold-white koi carps. The decorative kind of fish - abandoned pond, remember? ]

You're not even enough for one bite, eh...

[ So he probably should leave them and let the elements of winter do their thing, right?

Not the case. He ends nearing the temple of Metis, with two buckets full of rescued koi fishes, happy to finally be in more lukewarm water. What the hell is he doing here, this is dumb, this is crazy- but crazy is what he do, so he skulks around the hidden door, that he knows are there but he's not yet figuring out how to open them- he's hoping that she will finally notice a guest, and when she finally does he welcomes her with said bucket. ]

Hi, I found these guys in a freezing pond. I was wondering if you could give them a home?

[ Brilliant conversation starter, yes ]

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What?

[Zelda asks, intelligently, as she glances between the buckets to Caster and back again. It's definitely not a sight she was expecting to see today-- though neither was the sun, apparently, as her brow is pinched and her eyes are squinting slightly in the hazy light of a winter afternoon.

See, asking Zelda not to think is like asking water not to be wet, or the sky not to be blue, so in contrast to Caster's solution to the Things We Should Not Think About, she swings harder in the opposite direction, burying herself in things she can think about without her stomach doing flips or her blood running hot. Fortunately, life in the heavens provides plenty for her to dig into with cults and magic and heavenly intrigue abounding, and so this is actually probably the first time she's broken away from her studies and come outside today. And that's only because Minako is out, or else the shinki would have likely been the one to answer the vague bumping around her door.]

I mean... I suppose? [She answers after her mind catches back up with her, shrugging lightly.] I have seen other fish swim up from the canals on occasion, but... do you think they will be able to survive here?

[They're just normal fish, she assumes. Is it okay for them to live on the Far Shore? Is that really a question she's asking herself right now?]

[ They're talking, so far so good. But it does look that princess is also living up to be a hermit. Thank gods for Minako being there, Caster might be biased, but he thinks that bundle of energy and laugh is exactly someone Zelda needs. She looks as beautiful as always, but she also looks tired- bookworming can be fun, but if you dwell in the basement too much... ]

Most of the fish in the canals around seem pretty mundane. And the kappas are sort of guarding them I think. [ He got into a fight with one when he annoyed them for his fishing attempts ] I'm sure they'll be fine.

[ A fisherman rescuing the fish, what a day. Maybe he did it specifically to have a good excuse to come here? Or maybe he just felt like this and ended striking a surprise meeting.

Things We Should Not Think About is starting to become way too big folder. ]

Say, think you could invite me for a warm tea, princess? It's been freezing today.

[Let her live her hermit life!! Between the hot springs trip and the info sharing meeting she has had enough social contact to last her at least a few months. And as for his request, she has half a mind to tell him no, she's busy, maybe another time-- and then just... keep busy, always and forever until either the cult succeeds in destroying the heavens or she gets sent back to Hyrule, but. He and his shinki did take her in that night she stopped by unexpectedly when the loss of Samus was still raw. It would be rude not to extend the same courtesy.

Ugh, fine.]

Yes, of course. [Though she hardly sounds enthusiastic about it. This is probably the first time they've been alone together since--] Do whatever it is you need to do to get the fish settled in. I shall go get the kettle going.

[And she'll even leave the dumb puzzle door open for him after her, isn't that nice. The temple below is a bit less festive than it had been for the meeting, with the 25th over and done with, but there's still quite a bit of glitter and lights and mistletoe hung up and around because Minako can not be tamed. A few books are stacked up on the dining table as evidence of the princess' studies.

Said princess can be found in the kitchen, watching water slowly boil with an intense look of concentration because aaaaaaaaa--]

[ That moment when you realize how badly you must have fucked up. This is definitely one of them. Oh well, fishes first. Welcome to your new home. Remember to play nice, grow bigger and prettier and lighten princess' mood. Maybe. I mean, on one hand, fish doesn't sound like the best pet to keep around, since the contact is minimal. But on the other hand, a pond full of life is a calming and relaxing place.

So yeah. He's not going to stay here for long and follows into the temple soon after. The signs of Minako being a wildfire makes him smile, bless this girl and element of positive chaos she brings. If she forces a break in all those studies then everything is right with the world.

When he joins her in the kitchen, he starts with a brush of a hand against her shoulder and a whispered- ] I missed you. [ Right into her ear, as he passes by and finds himself a chair and a place to sit.

Between all the investigation and other troubles- being a god is certainly not boring, it is not safe either. Which ironically might make it a right job for him in the end. But when duty is pressing, free time is hard to find. ]

With how many books I see around, I take it the meeting must have been fruitful in leads. [ In the end, he wasn't present for the whole thing. Not to mention, while there was a lot of information passed around, which was of importance and which was garbage? ]

[He touches her just barely, briefly, lightly, yet it still burns, her sensitive, starved skin tingling with sensation long after he's passed by. Her ears burn as well, her breath catching in her throat as he whispers those three simple words into her ear (the same way he did that night--), and she clutches the edge of the countertop with gloved hands to steady herself as her pulse skyrockets.

Damn this maiden's heart! She'd be better served by a rock between her ribs than this fluttering thing. She's gone over the reasons she can't do this a hundred thousand times in her head in the weeks that have followed (in the weeks he's missed her--), yet her body refuses to listen. It refuses to let her forget. How unspeakably cruel of it, for a construct that isn't even real.

Her resolve crumbles. She stopped listening after his whisper.]

We need to talk.

[She can endure so very many things, but not this.]

[ Caster always could have hoped that she was busy and focused and determined. And also probably a little annoyed in how obnoxious of annoyance he made himself in the hot springs resort - first with the ghosts, second with the snowball to the extreme. --had he only know she was in the room nearby!

But all that can be thrown aside just from the tone of her voice. It's nothing like that, it runs deeper. In that garden, he stepped out of the line, isn't it right?

So he braces himself, and reaches to try and catch a brief touch of her hand. Will she allow this? He wants to hold her- but then instead of talking he could get a kick out of the temple. ]

Yes. Let's then.

[ Screw it all, enough of that distance- he will at least try to hold her hand so that's what he will attempt to do. If she only allows it.

That night in that garden wasn't a dream you can just wake-up and run away from. And he made himself pretty clear back then. ]

I want to know your answer.

[Unfortunately, she doesn't allow it. She pulls her hand away before he can get a solid grip on it, clutching it to her chest like his touch stings her. Which isn't entirely inaccurate; the truth of the matter is that a part of her has been longing to be held the way he did again, but that part is hated by the rest of her. His brief, fleeting touches are enough to make her remember the happiness and security she felt that evening, but without the aura of the chrysanthemums to soothe her, her dutiful, rational mind harshly shuts down that memory as quick as it can.

I think you deserve to be loved, Archer told her once, but she's certain beyond a shadow of a doubt he didn't mean it like this.]

I... I can't.

[Her voice is strained, despite herself. Why is this so hard? She knows what she has to do, so why can't she just get it over with? Why does it feel like she's saying goodbye to Link all over again?

She keeps her face turned away, refusing to meet his eyes-- refusing to even glance at him in her periphery.]

You know I can't. There are a million reasons why I can't.

[ And there goes the handholding, and instead, there is coldness and distance. So when he starts talking he knows what he is about to say might sound cruel. ]

Because of your duties. Because you will find your way back home and it's uncertain how long even you will stay here. Because I'm dead. Because- [ He sighs, tired of listing just a tip of the iceberg that is sitting in the room. Elephant in the room would be at least friendlier, iceberg is cold and unforgiving, and not to mention, not cute a little bit. On the other hand, it can melt. And he is not going to yield and is going to try to evaporate the damn thing. That's what fire does, right? ]

Princess, I know about duty. I lived most of my life under the oath to my king. And because of that duty, sometimes I had to do did things that could never be undone. [ Ferdiad. Connla. Fergus might have survived the ordeal, but once the geis was done he never saw his foster-father again. But despite that, there is no bitterness in his tone. The theater of memories, particularly those, is not pleasant to watch, but he's not going to escape of it or pretend it didn't happen. ]

But some days, some of that time, was just my own. Days to do as I please. [ Ironically it's not that different here. The responsibilities are of just different kind. He can't just stop being a god. In the end it is about powerlessness in face of Greater Things. Sacrificing something in the name of serving own people. But that's how the world goes, that's why stealing those moments of a free breath are so important. ] You're allowed those moments too, otherwise, the weight will crush you.

[ Even if he gets himself blasted out of the temple, maybe he can get to her a little bit. Maybe she can understand finally that she deserves happiness too. It's not wrong to want it, and it's not wrong to cherish it.

Avoiding the gaze, not looking directly into face. Putting a distance. If he stood up and walked to her he would make a noise, would make it easier to react. So he doesn't- gods can teleport, right? so he wills himself to appear behind her, locking her in a surprise embrace. Please, princess, give me at least that ]

Moments where you're not a princess, nor a goddess. Just Zelda.

[ Hi, it's name bullshit again. ]

[She curls tighter around herself as he speaks, as though trying to shield herself from the truths of his words-- up until the point where his voice is suddenly much closer, the warmth of his arms surrounds her, and he's saying her name again. She jolts, and struggles briefly to free herself then, but even the most physically frail Servant is still leagues stronger than an average human (or Hylian, as the case may be). Another thing that's hardly fair about their incarnations here; shouldn't they be on equal footing if they are both considered gods here? She can't even pull the same trick and warp away herself because she'll just end up dragging him along with her so long as he's making physical contact. This world's rules are bullshit and she hates them and she wishes she never ended up here. Things would be so much simpler if she hadn't.

She stands stiffly in his embrace when she settles, hands balled into fists at her sides and still keeping her head turned away as best she can.]

I have never been "just" anything. [She answers ruefully, the words bitter on her tongue. There's an urge to tell him the he doesn't know what he's talking about, but clearly he does, and so she's left with the more personally painful argument.] Would you have me carry loneliness with me upon my return to Hyrule? I will marry not for myself, but to bring wealth and security to the country that has seen neither for nearly a decade. Would you have me understand in its entirety just how unfulfilling that relationship will be?

[King Arthur was a wise and perfect ruler, but his kingdom fell because he didn't understand the feelings of his subjects, according to Archer's story. But distance can also serve as protection, a shield against the most unbearable parts of rulership. Loneliness is already her faithful companion, of course, but wouldn't it be better to never know what she might be missing? Wouldn't that be easier?]

[ Right, would he? Is this how it would end? Marriage as a business transaction was very much a thing in his times as well. But still, he can't see it as something inherently bad. He saw great couples that grew into the bond they made. But then he himself was an outlier in that case, as he didn't follow the advice whom to get married to and decided to do that one thing entirely on his own.

Still, Emer is gone, two thousand years apart from now. And there isn't a day he doesn't miss her. But weirdly enough, this is his life now. And just like he wishes she had a good and happy life after he disappeared from it, he knows she would wish the same for him. ]

It doesn't have to end this way. You really don't know who he will be. Maybe he'll warm your heart right away, or maybe you both will figure out you can work as allies and friends, and the feelings will follow, grow from the mutual companionship. Or maybe your Hyrule will be so grand, so powerful it won't need to cement alliance in this way, and you will be free to choose whoever you want.

[ He readjusts his hold around her, lips brushing the top of her head in a very obvious kiss, a gesture of affection. If she doesn't want to look at him, that's fine. While he feels the reluctance, he doesn't see an actual attempt to get away- so he's not letting her go. How to instill hope in someone who sees it all as hopeless? The rulership has its price, there is no denying it. In the end, even rulers within loving relationships were completely alone when sitting on the throne. ]

Is refusing bits of happiness because it might be short-lived any better? [ This is what he fails to understand. This is a self-imposed suffering, self-imposed loneliness. Tone of his voice forlorn, but he hasn't given up yet. ] Or is it not worth it because it will have to end someday?

[ Caster can be a bitter cynic at times, but this is a different brand of fatalism here. He's been always aware and accepting of mortality, of the fact that everything, even the best, most precious moment has its end. But it didn't diminish how priceless they were. It was the reason why each of them had to be enjoyed to the fullest before it disappeared. Maybe it has roots in facing death at a very young age, and by ending a life of precious, loyal companion to someone else no less. Maybe because he lived with a short expiration date and he knew it. Or maybe he's just a product of his land and his times. But in the end- ]

Thing is, you can't cure loneliness by plunging head-first into it.

[She shivers in his arms as she feels his lips brush the crown of her head, reminded of that day on the pier when they argued much like they're doing now. The context was different then (though really only on a purely cosmetic level, when you think about it), but the content is similar: a focus on the here and now versus the knowledge of what the future has in store.

You don't understand is on the tip of her tongue as she clicks it at his optimistic words. How could he, she thinks, because she's known ever since the brand of the Triforce of Wisdom appeared on her hand and Impa told her the story of the Six Sages, that she would be alone in picking up the pieces after all the heroics were said and done. Meanwhile, he's surrounded by people who love him everywhere he goes - even now, twofold adoration is waiting for him back at his temple, yet for some reason only the real gods know, he's here, wanting hers. It's a cruel and jealous place her thoughts take her to, and she's fortunate her temper is not so short as to hiss those bitter feelings through clenched teeth...

... because as she's remembering that debate on the pier, she also remembers how it ended. She said she was tired of mourning, and he responded in a quiet voice that he was, too. Some of the fight leaves her with that thought, the tension in her shoulders ebbing away and her fists loosening as she considers that maybe she's not giving him enough credit. Maybe, just as she's seen pain and chosen to try to shield herself from it, he's seen it too and chosen to let it come as it may.]

... No, but spend enough time in the cold, and you grow acclimated to it. It becomes something familiar. Something you can understand. Something you can endure.

[Better the devil you know than the one you don't, in essence. Her loneliness is something she hates, but she can manage it. Hell, she would have never had a reason to question its necessity if she hadn't awoken here. She would have revealed herself to the people, and they would be so happy simply to not have to live in fear anymore, and no one would tell her she should have fun and be happy and loved too.

But she's here, and the wounds on her heart she had thought had healed are being picked at one by one. Her voice is quieter when she continues, wavering slightly.]

Of course I am afraid of being tossed back into it if I allow myself to be plucked out.

[surprise the koi were a metaphor all along]

[ Koi as a metaphor, aka whatever you do can be used against you- nope! He can and absolutely will roll with that metaphor. ]

Aah, I didn't expect those little fishes to return so suddenly. [ He says hiding his face in her hair for a moment. Warm breath tickling her neck in a short caress. There is a very brief hint of amusement in his voice. If their talk wasn't so mournful, it would be just funny. It isn't here, but just a tiny bit of humour is enough to get him going. ]

Mhhm, a fish like those is up for some good life now, don't you think? Cared for, in a bigger pond, with better options. A much better place to get through that winter- and when the spring and summer comes, in this environment, they will grow bigger and stronger- I can't wait to see she their shine and colours during summer!

[ They're already ridiculously pretty with patches of white and gold and red, but after spending some time in good conditions they are bound to become even more impressive. His embrace grows lighter, had she want to sneak out of it, this would be a good chance to. That aspect of Servant strength being an unfair advantage is something that he vaguely realizes. ]

But the winter will finally come. Maybe the next year's will be a short and warm one- but eventually a winter so severe that will freeze even a big pond might happen. I don't think any of those fish is looking forward for that- but when it finally comes, they would have feasted on warm times for long, they will be stronger, bigger, and more durable. They will be able to endure it to the spring when the sun becomes warm again.

[ Change of seasons, nature, how all life keeps adapting. Those were always topics close not just to druids, but to all of his people. He wagers a guess that to her probably people too. No amount of magic can compare to the way technology invaded that natural order in this modern world - but in his times, and in her kingdoms it was not the case yet.

Had he been taught by a bard, maybe he could make the story more poetic, instead of a silly tale of fishes that he gifted to a princess.

Or who knows, maybe he would go for the silly one anyway. ]

[Gods, listen to this. She's being compared to fish. What has her life become. She should probably feel insulted, she distantly thinks, but... she doesn't. She just feels sad, and wistful, and lonely.

Is it really that simple? Can she really allow herself to believe what he says might come to pass? She is a child of destiny, forged in shadow to wield the double edged blade that is Wisdom. If she allows herself to step into the light, to feel the warmth of the sun others who have not been shaped in such a way enjoy so readily, will she still have the strength of will to continue on when the clouds return?

The fact that she's considering it at all doesn't speak well to her resolve in this argument, nor does the way she doesn't immediately make a bid for freedom when she feels his arms loosen around her. She stays where she is, and eventually she tilts her head back, resting it lightly against his shoulder. She's still refusing to look at him, though; her eyes screwed shut and a deep crease in her furrowed brow as the scales of her inner conflict start to shift. Her lashes shine slightly with unshed tears.]

... Do you really think you can offer me such warmth?

[Can you tell her it will have been worth it, in the end?]

[ If you start with fish metaphors, what you get is fish metaphors. And that's how a mermaid AU was born in some other universe. Or in just silly modern mythology about their godly incarnations. Maybe a follower wrote a fanfic, you'll never know, ]

I will keep you warm, like a summer's sun. Like a hearth fire in winter. For as long as you want it, as long as you need me, I will be there.

[ He chose her as a Master, even if it turned out to be impossible. Contract impossible, the loyalty not sanctioned but still there- nothing has changed with that "demotion." Maybe he was deep into this already back then. Maybe if he stopped for a moment to think "why" he would not find a reasonable answer. Lancer's simple wish for him to settle comfortably into his role, into this new existence from so many months ago, might have been fulfilled. He hadn't expected to last this long, long enough to rebuild a new life. New pack, new brothers, and sisters, new kings or rather queens to swear himself to, a family that stands

She can't have that- or she doesn't want that, doesn't matter, but she keeps a distance. And he keeps closing it, tugging her out of that coldness because he just can't understand when to let go.

She deserves all of it, even more. Even if it's a transient, brief side-story on her bigger legend. But allowing yourself to be happy is not easy- he doesn't allow it himself as much as he could, really. Because he also knows she is right on that how fleeting this happiness will be. It doesn't make it any less real.

Carefully he puts his hand over her eyes, his hold growing stronger, more desperate for a moment, but at the same time, his tone becomes more uplifting, more hopeful. A contrast. ]

I will be there for you until I can see you off with a smile, returning to that place you want to be.

[ Leaving only a beautiful memory. Another person to painfully miss, another hole in the heart. Yes, he knows what's they signing in here for. ]

No regrets.

[ A++ would sign up for this again. ]

[Of course that's his answer - a promise wrapped in a beautiful, poetic bow, reminiscent of all the silly games they've played... words that tempt her to dream. And so the question then becomes: does she believe him? Can she - shrewd, clever Zelda, who learned to read the hearts of men just as easily as ink on parchment when she was but a girl, who eluded the Evil King's grasp for nearly a decade, who was only caught when she chose to trust everything to one, singular boy - really trust him when he says he'll be there for as long as she wants?

A hand covers her eyes, an arm holds her ardently. They both know how this dream will end, but he makes it sound like that's okay.

No regrets.

Those are the words that break her, in the end. She takes a deep, shuddering gasp that shakes the entirety of her slight frame as tears begin to slip out from under his fingers. She regrets so much, so very many things she would give anything for the opportunity to change, and that guilt serves as a painful reminder, clips the wings of her hopes and dreams to keep them from flying too far afield, and yet...

And yet--

In a sudden burst of movement, she tears his hand off her face and shakes free of the arm holding her close. But she does not flee as she has done so often before; she doesn't force the distance she has always kept to protect her heart. She whirls around to face Caster for the first time since this conversation began, expression clearly distraught, but she places her hands on either side of his face and pulls him down, crashing his lips into hers. It's messy, and kind of terrible, really - she's upset and doing something only once hardly makes one an expert at it - but her words have left her, and in the moment, this impassioned action seems like the only way to get the depth of her intense, conflicting feelings across.

Does she believe him?

Can she trust him?

Of course her answer is yes. And that's really the most tragic thing.]

[ The first thought when she breaks away is- almost a sad resignation. So that's how it's going to be, well he knew there was a chance of failure. But it was more of a- gotta try and see how it goes. Gotta see if there is any chance. Don't give up.

So his surprise, when she turns around and pulls him into a kiss, is very clearly painted on his face. It stuns him for a few seconds really. Congrats, princess, you get one free round.

He collects himself quick enough, fortunately- or not- and smiles into the kiss. Not sure what to do with his hand, he ends going for classics- one hand touching her cheek, other circling her waist.

No. Regrets.

This will be another memory to treasure, to keep safe and never forget ]

[Sadly, she doesn't find much enjoyment in her slight victory. Quite the opposite, in fact, those few seconds of shock are scarier than they probably should be, and she's halfway through the thought of maybe I messed this up until--

Ah. There it is. That warm, safe feeling she's been longing for all this time. His hand still catches a few tears - the sweetness of the moment doesn't quite outweigh its bitterness just yet - but the tension in her body begins to leave her as she melts against him, letting go of his face so she might loop her arms around his neck instead. Pulling herself close, chasing that feeling as far as she can.

She's not left quite as starstruck as she was the first time when they pull apart, but still, she leans into the hand at her cheek for a moment, indulgent, enjoying the warmth of his palm against her skin before bowing her head forward to hide her messy face in the crook of his neck.]

This is a terrible idea... [She mumbles against his collarbone, but the tone of her voice is resigned, defeated, and she isn't pulling away.]

Hmm? I'll take it as a challenge to prove you wrong. [ Again with light, hopeful tone. It's up to him to counterweight the worry with a smile, right? Even if he can feel a stray tear on the skin of his neck. Shhh, he strokes her hair soothingly, shh.

It will all work out, if for a while.

It will be worth it.

Will it be? Or is he really being this selfish? But if she didn't want this, she wouldn't kiss him. If she wasn't longing for the warmth, she wouldn't embrace him right now. It's not wrong to want it, it's not wrong to be happy even if for a time.

Doubts might be his own, but they only fuel his conviction. It will work out, and it will be worth it. Every second of it. It cannot be any other way after all. It's a promise. ]

[The affection continues to soothe her, her breathing gradually beginning to slow and even out, her eyes slowly drying. She still keeps her face hidden away though, because this is... new and kind of weird and when she's not being empowered by a sudden outburst of emotion she feels all kinds of uncertain. What's she supposed to do now? What is expected of her? At least the Master proposal had a certain level of familiarity. These are uncharted waters, to continue with the fish symbolism.

Still. His response is not a surprising one, and it makes her remember something that lightens her heart a bit, something that makes this feel a little more like a logical conclusion and a little less like suddenly driving off course. Which is also an appropriate metaphor, because--]

... Just. Don't do anything dumb to prove that point.

[Like driving a chariot that's too big for you to see out of. Nothing that level of dumb. But even if her chiding might still sound a little melancholy and worn, there's fondness in there too. A little reminder of the happiness and warmth he's already given her.

Maybe it'll be okay. Maybe she can allow herself to believe it, little by little.]

[ As Caster can feel her relax in his arms, the more light-headed he feels. The hope instead of a little forced outlook, becoming more genuine.

Occasional dumb choices and recklessness is something really inherent to his very being, but while it's never going to disappear forever he at least- can make, and does make a conscious effort to tame that a little.

Character development for the princess. ]

I'll make sure to be smart about it. [ No chariots, no showing-off on ayakashi or what not. ]

Can I look at you, or is it off-limits for now? I don't mind if it is, I make for a good hiding spot

[ With the cloak and all even more. Just wrap a princess in it too, and bam. She's gone ]

[She hums a little bit, reluctant and very tempted to take him up on that offer, but having her hiding habit pointed out does make her feel a bit childish, and it's always easier to do things someone else wants her to do than act on her own desires. She pulls back just enough to put a bit of space between them without breaking the embrace, her arms sliding down off of his shoulders as she does.]

I cannot imagine why you would want to. I must look like an utter mess right now.

[Indeed, her eyes and nose are a little red and puffy, and her cheeks are stained with tear tracks. With a sniffle, she wipes at her face with her hands a bit in an attempt to remedy this problem.]

[ Caster leans down so their foreheads, - and also tips of theirs noses - touch. That's why he wanted to do that. Also because nose touches are always a bit silly, but oh how much fun? Especially with the height difference. But after all this pain they need a bit of silly ]

Nah, you're beautiful. [ Always. Inside, outside, what does total mess do to that? Nothing. That's what. There is only adoration in his eyes, as he says it, and it's honest, and frankly speaking a little overwhelming.

To quote, she likes him too! And it still feels like he's going to just wake up any moment. ]

Hmm, you know I got an idea. Should I make a list? [ Why it's not that terrible idea. Wonder how long he can manage to make it? ]

[He likes doing that, doesn't he? The forehead bump. She remembers him doing it before in the garden (though the flower crown had been in the way then), and to her surprise, she finds herself feeling some of the same bubbly giddiness as she did back then as he boops their noses together, even without the chrysanthemums' influence. It's more muted, of course - not quite as intoxicating. But for one who so often carries such heavy weights upon her shoulders, even the smallest amount of levity is noticeable.

She feels like she's forgetting something too, but those thoughts are quieted by the way he looks at her and how it quickens the beat of her heart.]

A... list? [The corners of her lips are upturned slightly and there's a hint of a smile in her eyes, but also confusion. What, you didn't expect her to suddenly be good at this once you got past the confession stage, did you, Caster?] For what purpose?

[ Caster chuckles, or maybe snickers- That's what he's fond about too. Those moments of adorableness. ]

To list things why it's not terrible idea. [ The grin doesn't leave, but since they're so close it's impossible to see that stupid fang showing. You know it's there, though, of course, it is. Just like mischievous sparks in his eyes. ] Maybe... maybe I'll make it, but spread it out. One reason for each one day?

[ He's dead serious about this, even if he is teasing here a bit at the same time. ]

[Ah. A list for that. She sobers a little, both looking and sounding rather skeptical. Even if she's accepted this - whatever this is - as a thing, proving her wrong regarding the wisdom of it all is definitely going to be necessary.]

Do you really think you can come up with enough to make something of significant length?

[And with reasons she can't argue against because we all know how much she likes to argue about this sort of thing.]

If I go with "one per day" I'm ready for months. And I'm sure new reasons will keep showing up so fast I will be stocked for more to come.

[ Is he taking it as a challenge? Of course, he is taking it as a challenge. He's dumb and happy, alright? And seeing only the best possible outcomes right now.

Because clearly, the biggest obstacle is behind them, yes? ]

Months...?

[Her eyes go a little wide at that, because-- okay, yes, Caster can sometimes be prone to bouts of hyperbole, with boasting not being particularly far behind, but. She's never known him to outright lie. Omit the truth, perhaps, but not explicitly say something he doesn't mean. And so it's kind of dizzying to think he has that many counter-arguments at the ready. It makes her wonder just how long he's felt this way about her.

I think you deserve to be loved, not only as a ruler, but as yourself, echoes in her mind again as she considers this, and those considerations are immediately stopped in their tracks as she suddenly tears herself out of the comfortable embrace, pale as a ghost and probably knocking over a few things on the kitchen counter while she's at it. Hopefully the boiling tea is spared, but frankly that's the least of her concerns right now.]

Oh, Goddesses, Archer. [She slams her hands over her mouth as realization hits, like that will hide the evidence of this new and budding thing that's happening.] A-And Ginia! Do they know about this?

[Minako is everything Zelda needs in a shinki but she also likes to talk so it's time for INTERNAL SCREAMING ROUND TWO: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO.]

[ Right. That was something to touch on sooner or later, probably better sooner - but they were having A Moment..!!! The boiling tea rattles, but thankfully doesn't add to the problems by giving someone serious burns. But hey, it's a good point for it to return to the story, so Caster decides to at least turn it off. ]

Can't imagine Archer being surprised- [ Especially how he went out of his way to help Zelda when Caster was briefly dead and gone. Granted it could - and was - explained that was because Caster "chose" Zelda as his Master. Not wrong at all, but not a whole story. On one hand, Caster is pretty sure it's something Archer could tell, it's not like he was keeping it a secret- on the other hand, he never outright told him either. But then- ] We agreed at the beginning that it would be an open thing. So we both are free to seek out romantically other people, should we want to.

[ A casual thing, yep. Well, perhaps not as casual as originally intended, more like a work in progress. Still, no change of rules happened. Eh, maybe it's time to pour them that tea. ]

Ginia joined in later, but on the same premise. [ Should he call all that off? A question. "Not even your princess could keep you on a leash" Archer joked, but it was less of a "could" and more of "didn't saw a reason to"

All he can be is to be open and honest about how things are. ]

[Her ears burn scarlet at the idea of Archer just kind of knowing without being explicitly told, even if she has to admit it would be consistent with her own experiences with him. She slinks out of the way as Caster turns his attention to the tea, looking for all intents and purposes like a rabbit that's ready to bolt with her shoulders pulled high and tense and her hands still adamantly clamped over her mouth. His explanation doesn't seem to give her much in the way of comfort.]

That's not...

[She stops herself mid-thought, her wide-eyed terror ebbing away into anxious deliberation as her brow furrows and she casts her gaze to a nondescript point on the ground. She can hardly call herself a relationship expert, especially when venturing outside of the simplistic and arranged monogamous kind she's considered inevitable for herself for as long as she can imagine, and so maybe it's presumptuous to push her opinions on the current situation, but-- still, something doesn't sit right with her. It's just that finding the words to voice those feelings takes a moment or two, dropping her hands away from her face and crossing her arms over herself instead.]

You still should not... do something without ensuring that they are accepting of it. Especially so since they are your shinki. You cannot risk breaking that trust.

[Perhaps it's says something more about her than Archer or Ginia that her default assumption is that they would have objections to this whole thing. But she knows how tightly knit that temple is, and she's an outsider, after all - isn't that to be expected?

In a quieter voice, she adds:]

I... refuse to be some... mistress-sort seen behind their backs.

[why do you keep falling for the self-loathing types, caster, why do you do this to yourself]

[ Caster hands her a cup of tea and takes it as a chance to reduce the space between them. A chance to touch her hands maybe- but not pushing further since it's an important conversation. Important for- whatever they could - are - going to be. ]

That's given, of course, I'm going to talk with them - I wouldn't keep us a secret. [ Today's visit with fish was a totally spontaneous one, he had no chance to warn anyone- not to mention he couldn't know how it would end. Unlike her, he's convinced that his Temple is not going to mind. If not go "oh god finally" ]

I can even go and ask right now, if that would give you peace of mind.

[Us. Wow. That... sure is a word that's going to take some getting used to. She allows him to come closer and touch her, though her eyes stay focused down at her reflection in the tea, like if she just stares at it hard enough it will cough up the answers she wants.]

That... would probably be the prudent course of action, yes.

[Get things settled before anyone gets their hopes up too high. Still, she feels reluctant to tell him to go now when she's feeling so vulnerable and ill at ease, and it shows in the hesitance of her voice.]

... What will you do, if one of them says no...?

[What will she do? ... Accept it, she supposes. She would have no real choice in the matter, really; she's not nearly selfish enough to steal away someone else's real and concrete happiness for a mere chance at having some for herself. It would hurt, but she could endure it, she thinks - she still remembers what it's like to be cold.]

[ "Us" is going to happen a lot more often than now. She holds the cup, and he still holds her hands. The warmth of the tea seeping between their fingers. As if it could ease her worry he leans down and kisses the top of her head. He tends to get touchy in general. ]

You really seem very sure that's what they'll do. But let's wait for them to answer that, shall we?

[ Zelda is reluctant and (unsure), on the other hand, Caster is absolutely convinced this is just a formality. But what has to happen, has to. He understands why official permission would grant her some peace of mind. ]

Rest assured, everything will turn alright.

[ But considering the thought, what if someone truly does say no, though. Things between them are quite casual, but Archer admitted he wouldn't mind something more serious. How does Ginia feel? Are they okay with each other because they are part of the same temple, are into each other as well?

Huh.

That's quite a tangled figure there, no wonder Zelda is concerned. But regardless of that, there is only one thing he can do if one of them says no. He'll have to make a choice. ]

[She isn't even aware of the full extent of the entanglements within the walls of Caster's temple; she just knows what she saw when rescued him from the forest, and how she always feels a bit like an outsider whenever she's around more than one of them at a time.]

... It is the duty of a monarch to be prepared for all potential outcomes.

[She says, solemnly, with a practiced sort of air that suggests she's said this sort of thing to herself many times before. She hasn't lived this long on simply hoping for the best, after all, and his words by themselves do not bring her much in the way of solace.

... But even if she's a long way away from admitting it out loud, she enjoys the feeling of his touch, the warmth of his hands over hers. The way he kisses the top of her head is at once a somewhat silly reminder of the difference in their height and also quite comforting. These little affectionate gestures that no one has shown her - that she hasn't allowed anyone to show her - since Impa.

A moment of quiet passes before she speaks again, this time more genuinely, but also with reluctance.]

I... do not wish for you to leave just yet, however.

[Duty versus desire, the conflict of her life. Him leaving now would be the smart thing to do on the chance that he does end up having to make that choice, because she refuses to let herself believe for a second that it would end in her favor. But even knowing that isn't enough to silence her desire to not be left alone.]

[ Modern people here just don't get it. Or that's what he often feels. It's not just a pretty crown and being allowed to tell people what to do, being a royal is much much more than that. It's responsibility, it's a burden. Not every person has enough strength to carry it - that's how bad monarchs are born.

She could never be one like that, the duty might weight her down but it will never slow her down, or stop entirely. A question of "but what if we just ran away" echoes in the mind before being silenced. Neither of them would agree to it. ]

I will stay for how long you wish me to. [ Caster lowers his voice to a whisper and runs his hand through her hair, separating a strand, and bringing it to his lips to place another kiss. Affections are just starting, now that he has semi-official approval ]

Would you want me to prepare something to eat? [ Sure he is not Archer, but he can feed himself, and he had picked stuff up living around Mr. Perfect Cook. And given how Zelda throws herself face first into research it's entirely probable she hadn't eaten a breakfast yet.

This is a true fate romance, hair kissing, affectionate gestures, talking about food. But hey that gives him an excuse not to leave just yet. ]

[She finally lifts her eyes to look at him as she feels his hand brushing through her hair. This turns out to have been something of a mistake as it means she gets a front row seat to him bringing that strand to his lips, a sight that makes her eyes go a little wide and her cheeks turn a little rosy and her heart beat a little faster as she thinks she would rather him kiss her somewhere she can actually feel it, instead.

Ah... she's got it much worse than she thought, hasn't she. Heck.]

... I suppose it would not do to have you break your promise so soon.

[Since he's already deciding to make good on that whole thing about sticking with her as long as she wants. Even if every fiber of her being is telling her it's not the smart thing to do. She glances over at the sitting area as she considers his question; she really could use a sit down and some time to think about all this.]

I... think I would like that, yes, though I imagine that makes me a fairly poor hostess, all things considered.

[He's a guest and she didn't even make it through boiling the tea without having a minor break down, what the hell.]

[ Getting a blush out of the princess makes him grin a little. That knowing, mischievous smirk. Oh, yes, he'd like to move on closer and kiss her again- but hey, he can be all knightly too, and he has to get Official Permission first, right? He winks at her, of course, he does.

Later- Later when it's sure, certain and confirmed, and there is no doubts and no fears, then they can have all the kisses in the world.

He tucks the strand behind her ear, brushing it by accident. ]

I'd say it make me a very pushy guest, look at me wanting to do all by myself! [ And then he proceeds to raid the fridge. Or any other food container. Scavenging for things that can be found and arranged into simple but filling breakfast-lunch whatever. Eggs are the top priority.

And if there is anything resembling an apron, he will welcome himself to it. ]

[H e c k.

The corners of her mouth turn down slightly in a sulky sort of pout as she turns her head away from his stupid face with his stupid smirk and his stupid wink because this is all still extremely new and it's going to take a while to train that denial instinct out of her. Later, later.

For now, her ear flicks a bit against his fingers as he puts her hair back into place, and with that done she turns to head for the seating area she had been eying before.]

Do as you like, then. Let me know should you need help finding anything.

[Not that the kitchen at Temple Metis is anything to really write home about. The residents would probably end up cutting a few fingers off if they had any appliances fancier than a cooktop or blender. Likewise, raw ingredients are a bit in low supply, though he'll be able to find things like milk, fruit, and, indeed, eggs hidden away underneath all the bentos and leftovers of take away meals. A simple apron is hung up on a hook on the inside of the door to the pantry.

Zelda, meanwhile, takes her tea and plops down on the sofa, leaning back into the cushions as she closes her eyes and takes a deep, cleansing breath.

One can practically see her looking at her life and her choices. Hopefully Caster wasn't hoping for conversation while he worked...]

[ Conversation is, fortunately ( ? ) not expected or required. Despite his incredibly cheerful whistling, Caster does have to focus on what he's doing. No muscle memory to follow without thinking whilst in the kitchen. He goes for the simple scrambled eggs, while scavenging one of the bentos for the octopus sausages.

The portion is enough for two people, but then it hits him- He has to go back to her and converse in the end ]

Is Sparkle- I mean- Minako around? What I'm making should be enough for both of you.

[ It would be rude to feed the goddess and not feed the shinki, right? Also yes, he did claim the apron to run around in. ]

[It's all so... absurdly domestic. Sitting in the living area of a place she calls her home. Smelling breakfast cooking in the kitchen as the scent wafts between rooms. Listening to the chef's cheery whistling as he works. He's that happy because of her, isn't he? She's the reason for that, and that thought in turn leads to a new warmth blooming in her own chest, just like that evening in the garden.

It's bizarre. It's not something she ever thought she would experience.

... It's nice.

These meditations have eased the wrinkle out of her brow by the time Caster comes back around, making her almost look like she's fallen asleep sitting up. She hasn't, though, and she blinks up at him when he asks his question.]

"Sparkle"...? [Ah, she supposes it's a fitting nickname.] Oh, no, she went out earlier; I cannot be certain when she will be back.

[She is a chaotic force of nature Zelda does not pretend like she can control. Minako does as Minako pleases.]

[ Congratulations, you are in actual Fate/ romance where there is an absurdly domestic scene with cooking. Literally, the only thing lacking here is paragraphs upon paragraphs of description how to make that breakfast and disguise recipe book as a cute moment. I am weak at kitchen, I can't write that, sumanai. ]

Alright, do you want both portions, or could I join you? [ Insert "smile." He is hoping she says yes. But welp, gotta head right back to avoid any accidental burning of something.

It's supposed to be a delicious breakfast, not a burnt one, and he will deliver it in the most perfect way he can!! It's his duty as a Warrior of Ulster, a divine something here- and so on. ]

[I played a character who could cook once, it was hell. We can't all be Nasu. But Zelda gives him a knowing look, because he's making it very obvious which answer he wants to hear.]

I had assumed you were doing the latter from the start.

[He wants her to have moments of being "just" Zelda, doesn't he? And if she's "just" Zelda, then there's no reason for someone to serve her without partaking themselves.]

We~ll, sometimes one portion isn't enough. I'm feeling generous and I could forgo my part if you had a need to dig into both.

[ Teasing and dumb jokes are his things, but he tries to retreat before anything is flung in his direction. Keyword, try. But joking lilt aside he wouldn't mind sharing. The kitchen is quite... under-stocked. And given how much Zelda seems to focus on her work, eating might not be high on her priorities.

Which makes sense, they're gods, they don't require such sustenance. But there is a world of difference in comfort levels.

A moment later he returns with a tray, and two portions of improvised breakfast with scrambled eggs, decorated with those octopus sausages and cucumber slices, cannibalized from bento leftovers. ]

[Nothing is thrown, though she does roll her eyes pretty intensely.]

How thoughtful.

[Please. She's spent the last seven years on the run, scavenging food from wherever she could get it. The mild hunger pangs she might feel once in a while here in the Heavens are manageable even at their worst. But yeah, comfort levels. That's not really a thing she considers most of the time.

There's a small smile for him when he returns with the tray, however, one that grows when she sees the evidence of his raid on Archer's bentos. You can't not smile at octopus sausages, okay.]

Thank you.

[For this. For staying. For so many things she can't begin to count.]

[ Gotta learn how to make those octopus sausages and other cute animals out of food. Caster has the general idea how to proceed just from observation alone, but like everything, it surely is something that would require a bit of practice to get it right.

Just you wait, one day he will make an apple bunny you can smile about, princess! ]

Truly, it’s my pleasure. [ Making meal for the person you care about is a pretty enjoyable thing, who would have thought. And since that "thank you" covers not just breakfast, and also extends for that everything else- that almost too formal reply feels even more fitting. He genuinely cares for her and enjoys her company. She gave him a lot, so he’s giving right back.

So that's the best moment to straighten his back, clear his throat and add in his best waiter voice ]

And if you happen to get a part that is… somewhat burned, I will trade it for something delicious as an apology. [ Like for another octopus sausage, he can’t eat it first as tempting it is. ] A special service, only for you.

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