[closed]

[reformedsinner]

Who: Cho Hakkai, Kakimoto Chikusa, Joshima Ken
When: Jan 11, evening
Where: Li Tieguai's temple
What: Hakkai appreciates that his homicidal teenagers are just looking out for his well-being, but can they stop accosting his ex?
Warnings: Just conversation, though sensitive subjects may come up -- warnings in comment titles.

[He's had a long to-do list today. It's deliberate; keeping himself busy helps, although he finds himself checking his phone (and pausing, vague-eyed, to check on his shinki) more often than he strictly needs to.

It's been a few days since Chikusa's disastrous encounter with Gojyo. Things, as far as Hakkai can tell, aren't likely to get much better between himself and Gojyo, not in the short term. Things certainly aren't likely to get any friendlier between Chikusa and Gojyo. In other words: he's going to need to make sure that at least they don't have any confrontations ending in violence.

Not again, anyway.

He texts Chikusa and Ken after lunch: We need to talk about dealing with Gojyo. After dinner?

And, unless they skip out on dinner, as soon as the dishes are clean he's sitting back down at the table, taking a deep breath, and trying to set things in order in his mind. It's always easier to have difficult conversations in a relaxed setting, he's read. He's not sure it's true.]

Comments

[kokuyoyo]

[No other prompting is needed for Chikusa's other hand to fold over Ken's rough knuckles, and he leans in closer to his partner. He'd known that Ken had been hurting, because he's always hurt over not being able to protect the ones most important to him. They're the same, in that they would both gladly give their lives for the one they love.]

[...A problem, then, that they both love each other.]

I want you to, Ken...

[It's not much, but Chikusa has never been particularly good at this kind of comfort. This is all he can offer. It wasn't Ken's fault that what happened with Ayumu's ablution went as it did. Their positions were too far apart, they were all exhausted after hours of holding up borderlines...]

[Not unlike the first time he'd died, Chikusa had done it for someone else, too, with no time for anything else to happen.]

[Honestly, it's a pity that they don't have another serial killer around. That, surely, would help his partner see his worth again.]

[reformedsinner]

[Ken's guilt bites into Hakkai's neck like acid. His expression is blank, briefly, as he stops himself from flinching. No one even wants me to--

He doesn't want them to help with this. He can't argue that their attempts to help haven't made it worse, but with everything that's happened, it's a bad time not to want Ken's help with this. He breathes in, forcing down the pain of his aching neck, and meets Ken's gaze, expression even.]

Ken... what happened with Ayumu wasn't your fault. I misjudged the situation, and she couldn't bear it, even though we did try to help her.

With this, you and Chikusa can't help me. I know you want to.

[He breathes again: inhale. Exhale. It's not the pain of the blight that's making it so hard to speak calmly.]

But if anything's going to be better between me and Gojyo, it's something that we have to work on between ourselves. You and Chikusa can help by supporting me in other ways.

[junkyarddog]

[The guilt subsides somewhat. Ken, unlike Chikusa, is very emotional; he's far more likely to blight Hakkai than Chikusa is if one doesn't take poisons into account. But the flip side of his being so emotional, so simple, is that his heart can be eased much more easily than someone like Gojyo's or Ayumu's. Hakkai and Chikusa may not have completely turned his mood around, but it's clearly improved already.]

We wanna help, Hakkai-sama. [Ken finally looks at him properly.] So...what'd help?

[Ken's hand squeezes Chikusa's.]

[kokuyoyo]

[Quietly, Chikusa squeezes right back.]

...We'll try whatever's needed.

[He glances over at Hakkai too, still partially hiding behind his own mess of hair. There's no promise in his words, because he can't promise everything. It's why he can't promise that he won't drug Gojyo again at some point.]

[...But he'll try. Him and Ken both.]

[reformedsinner]

[Ah. Now, Hakkai reflects, he has to come up with specifics. There's a lot that feels overwhelming, but if he can at least spend a little time not terrified for the life of anyone he cares for at the hands of anyone else he cares for...

Well. That would be an improvement. Chikusa and Ken promising to give Gojyo space is a good starting point. He might still have to worry about how Gojyo's treating them, and how to convince them that Gojyo isn't ruining Hakkai's life either, but.

It's a start.]

I want to know more about what's going on here. I've been letting personal things distract me for too long.

[He looks up at them, and smiles, wearily.] And I don't want to dwell on that anymore. I know you've both been keeping an eye on things. Why don't you tell me what you think about all of this? That forest god, and everything....

[junkyarddog]

[Ken blinks, then looks at Chikusa with some faint unease.] ...I dunno. I'm not good at figuring out stuff. I don't need to know why people are trying to mess with you to stop them.

[And this is where Ken's dangerous levels of loyalty come into play; the implication is that he'd want and seek to protect Hakkai no matter who came after him, or why. Including people with perfectly justifiable, sympathetic reasons for attacking Hakkai. Either Ken wouldn't even think to ask, or - more likely - no reason would be good enough in his eyes, and thus such information is immaterial and unnecessary to deciding his own course of action.]

Besides, nobody knows why this stuff is happening, right? Even people who're way smarter than me. So there's no way I'd figure it out. [He looks over at Chikusa again, somewhat expectantly.] Kakipi thinks better than me.