thenearshore | 32 - Blow Your Top

Entry tags:

32 - Blow Your Top

Who: Everyone!
What: A volcano eruption threatens the Western District
When: Jan 14 - 16
Where: The Western District of the Heavens
Summary: The Western District volcano is erupting again, endangering nearby temples and sending ash sprinkling down across the Heavens. Is it natural, or another attack? Those who dare climb the volcano can find out.

Earthquake Warning

Falling Rock

Swamp Gas

Confusion
Intense emotions
Anger and irritability
Impulsive behavior, loss of emotional control
Hallucinations
Unusually clear insight into other people and situations
Coughing, eye and throat irritation, difficulty breathing
Irresistible impulses to speak in poetry

Mountain Climbing

OOC:

talk to the mysterious figure

battle the mysterious figure

In Summary:

Don't get rattled
Help out the Western District with their volcano problem
Watch out for volcanic gases
Find out who's behind the eruption
Have fun~

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Were you going to ask me for that? [It doesn't really make a lot of sense for her to call it "a shame" if there wasn't some kind of personal investment there, and it would fit with how blithe the offer for him to name her if trouble came up had been earlier.

His attention turns to the lights as hers does, though, and he eyes them closely. He can see shadows superimposing themselves over them, but it's not a shape that he imagines ayakashi would take.]

Lights, though there's shadows cast over them as well. What shape are the ayakashi you're seeing?

Bats, similar to ones that were in the forest when we were investigating after the fact.

[Lights, not ayakashi bats. She stares at the flapping forms, trying to will reality back into place, but the mind keeps what it wants to see. Her fingers slash a borderline in front of the group, shielding the two of them and causing the spirits to scatter.

With that taken care of, Ginia releases the borderline and turns to address the other question.]

We've fought ayakashi together, humans together, even executed a man. I know how you work, you know how I work, and I like and respect you. Being your shinki makes it easier to help, by that logic.

[Shun shakes his head to say that's definitely not what he's seeing, though it seems Ginia chooses to deal with it with more certainty anyway. It's not too much of an issue while it's only the both of them in this area, at least.

Shun can't exactly fault her logic on why she was going to ask, but while he does hum slightly in concession to the words, he also can't entirely agree to it.]

I would've offered to name you if you came to me without one, but it sounds like you're still working out a new situation. So it's better to do what you like without having to concern yourself with my expectations.

[They're not exactly unreasonable expectations, but they'd be hard to guarantee nonetheless.]

Situation, mistake of my own doing, what's the difference, right?

[There's an exaggerated roll of her eyes given the majority of her face is hidden, a careless "what can you do?" shrug of her shoulders, but her shoulders slump as they fall and she looks away. Regret rides in on the back of self-deprecation; she exhales heavily as she turns back.]

What would you do if one of your shinki did something they knew you wouldn't like, but it was something you hadn't explicitly told them not to do?

[That says quite a bit more about the situation already, so Shun keeps looking back after that initial question, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's one of those things that he doesn't really expect to be just left as is.

It's not exactly an easy question to answer, though.] It depends on what it was. I don't "like" every decision my shinki make, but it's their right to make that decision. So if I thought it was an actual problem, I'd talk to them about it. I doubt any of my shinki would do anything I'd consider beyond being able to be resolved.

[...He doubts. He's still not completely sure what it is that's going on with Fubuki, but that doesn't change the fact that he'd like to seek a resolution.]

Suppose it's a matter of differences in moral beliefs. Not a situation where one belief is right or wrong, but one where the beliefs are in conflict with each other and resolution requires one to bend or back down on their stance.

[Ginia knows she's completely transparent and Shun's stance as god and how he runs his temple doesn't matter in the long run. Every god manages their temple as they will it and no one minds unless it puts someone in danger. Ultimately, there is nothing to do but talk to Caster, but it's not a conversation she's looking forward to.

She rubs her forehead and sighs.]

I suppose I'm a poor shinki outside of fighting ayakashi.

Sometimes that's just how it is. Nobody is wrong, but someone has to bend. [Shun's not terribly prone to being the one to bend, himself, but he's experienced the conflict often enough considering what his opinions can be like.

His eyes narrow somewhat at Ginia's last remark, though, and his tone is sharp in correcting her.] How good of a shinki you are doesn't matter half as much as how good of a person you are. Don't define yourself by how much use you are by this world's screwed-up standards.

[Shun has never been fond of this system, and still isn't fond of this system, so that's an opinion he's never hesitated to share with people.]

[Shun's hard correction stops her. It takes her a second to realize what she said and another to understand the part he's correcting, and when it sinks in, there's only a soft laugh fading into a sigh.]

I'm not sure I'm a good person most of the time either. What I do as a shinki, what I do as a person, I suppose it's all tied up in each other.

[Yet that's not correct either. Ginia knows to some degree it's easy putting duty ahead of her feelings. Be a good shinki, focus on serving a god, it's the line every shinki is fed on their first day. For awhile, it was easy latching onto it as a sense of direction and purpose and ignoring the greater horrors.

These days, her direction and purpose fall elsewhere. Helping people, making the world better, protecting the people she cares about, those are the things she wants to do as an individual. If it aligns with being a shinki and a greater purpose, so be it.

But it's not a just world, not when people are pulled from their own, when shinki are made from the dead and have little choice.]

It's a world that favors gods, ultimately. If it didn't, the old gods wouldn't be so upset about nora.

[Shun continues eying her off somewhat doubtfully at that.] I don't consider myself a good person either, but I've had plenty of people disagree with me about that. I'm sure it's the same for you.

[Shun himself isn't really the type for being overtly sympathetic and reassuring, but Ginia doesn't seem any worse than him, honestly, and is certainly better in some ways. So if people can decide he's a "good person", then he would assume the same goes for her.]

Obviously it favours gods, but that doesn't mean we have to buy into it. You can know something is a fact without building your worth on it.

[He's known altogether too many shinki who do that, and it's never sat right with him, even as a god.]

[What is good anymore? She's murdered humans and shinki to rescue Caster, executed a man for his crimes, given so much to answer the prayers and wishes of strangers because someone needs happiness, given her all for her friends. If that's what it is, then that's what it is, but she still doesn't feel like a good person. Not when she feels broken in so many ways.]

I'm not sure I know what my worth is removed from being a shinki.

[Her signs are a little slower, a sadness as reality sinks in.]

It's sad, isn't it.

Maybe. But that doesn't mean you can't make moves to do something about it. [As ever, Shun's handling of the matter is rather straightforward. It's definitely not an issue he can't understand to some degree, but it's also the kind of thing he's definitely not going to bring up his own personal understanding of.]

If this is the last life you have, then you might as well make it what suits you, not what suits everyone else.

[Gods have the obligation of knowing they have something to return to. Shinki don't, and while it's a burden in some ways, it's an advantage in others.]

[The last life? Ginia laughs at the phrasing, but it isn't wrong. It's not a life she asked for, but it is a life and there are opportunities. Maybe she'll pass a year here, then another and another, and as decades fall into centuries, maybe things will fall into place. There are worst lives to lead.

It's been three months. A lot has happened in that time. It's also barely any time at all.]

I've been here three months now. Didn't think back then I'd be climbing a volcano. So? What do you think about me now?

I think you've adapted better than I would've expected. [She'd been very wary when she arrived, he remembers, but he doesn't doubt being in a temple with people like Caster and Archer helped a great deal.] And that you've made yourself one of the more capable people here in a short time. It's not something to be overlooked.

[As well as whatever she brought from her old life, there's the matter of versatility with borderlines and willingness to test the boundaries of powers in this place. Gods and shinki are measured on a different scale of power by nature, unfortunately, but it's still impressive.]

[Ginia didn't expect anything but the blunt truth from Shun, but his assessment is more generous than she expected. It's not wrong in any regard, but she hasn't considered how much she's done in the greater scope of things and how much she's relaxed from her first few weeks.]

I was fairly jumpy.

[To put it lightly. But if there's anyone to thank, it is her temple for giving her space to settle and enough care to feel secure. Having a direction to go into as well, and hunting down cultists and focusing all her energy on that certainly brought her into the center of a lot of things.]

On the other hand, you haven't changed at all since I've met you. Not saying that's bad or you need to change.

[Shun gives a faint hum of agreement at the note that she was jumpy. Their first meeting wasn't all that long ago, considering, and he remembers her manner from it quite well. He definitely can't disagree that he hasn't changed much in that time either, though something about it seems to worm its way into his expression almost like worry.]

I don't know if that's completely true. But that's not something I need to be told by anyone else either. [In the wake of his disagreement with Fubuki and his continued lack of reconciliation with Reisi, he's definitely feeling much more acutely his seeming inability to connect to his shinki despite wanting to work with them on an equal level. It's happened often enough now that it's definitely a pattern, and starting to become troubling.]

Probably not, much less from me, but hell.

[Ginia regards him with a hard look, noting the slight shift in his expression. If he's changed any in personality on a broader scale, she knows she's not around that much to notice. It's something better remarked on by his shinki or his boyfriend. They've always been professional with each other, the kind of reliance that comes from working together.]

You worry me. You act like you're as old as me, older even, and I'm damn certain you're much younger than me.

[Shun gives Ginia a brief look over - he's never thought that hard about her age, but just on appearance alone, she's got to be at least in her mid-twenties.]

I turned eighteen at the end of the year, so I'd have to be much younger than you. [He wasn't even an adult by most countries' standards until literally a few weeks ago, and still isn't by his own. Also, he's somewhat less reserved about hiding his birthday now since it's passed and there's no further danger of celebrations.] I don't have a choice. There are things I know I have to go back to. I don't have the luxury of letting myself go soft.

[Soft. A derisive snort escapes. Ginia shakes her head, lapsing into contemplative stillness, the rattle of loose rock under her boots and the hiss of vents occupying the space around them.

It's one of the most ridiculous things she's heard and even if she understands the sentiment, it doesn't make it any less wrong. She whistles to get his attention again, slowing as she signs.]

Do you think I'm soft? Or maybe it doesn't count since I'm a shinki. Okay, how about any other god? You think people are too soft?

I don't know what your tragic backstory is, but I doubt taking a break and lightening up will soften you in any way.

[Shun turns his attention back to her at the whistle, though his eyes narrow visibly as he reads the signs. His usual argument here would be that it's different where he's concerned, but he's also made that argument often enough that he knows it doesn't tend to work in these circumstances, as much as he'd like it to.

He pauses, turning more fully towards Ginia. If there's one good way to make him talk about his past, it's to prick him in it without actually dragging it out, and he extends one arm to point back down the volcano, to the point where they came from.]

Do you want to know what I was looking at down there? The hundreds of my allies who died because I wasn't there for them when I needed to be. [His voice is unyielding, but there's also something tense and tight and choked to it.] Everyone else can make their own decisions on what's soft. I'm not going to judge them on the same scale. But I'm not going to lose anyone else I care about because I let myself lapse at the wrong time. I refuse.

[He turns on his heel rather abruptly at those last two words, because he can't keep the same face on all the way through that, and he doesn't really want to be facing her when it changes. He doesn't care what it takes out of him to do it - he's not going to fail anyone like that again.]

[Ginia can't speak to what kind of life a teenager should have considering she can't remember her life, but hers was also far from ordinary. But it's a heavy burden to carry at any age, much less his age. She won't question his truth and feelings on things even as she wonders if he's unfairly placing too much blame on himself. She can't blame him for wanting to protect people too.

She lets him walk on ahead, watches his back move further away, before she moves after him, closing the distance between and pulling him into a hug from behind. Struggle, slug her, he can do what he wants, she'll let go easily enough, but the gesture still stands.

Dammit, Shun.]

[Shun half expects her to stay where she is, so he definitely turns his head back once he hears her moving to catch up - it's not quite quick enough to avoid the hug, though. The way every part of him flinches at the contact, as if he still hasn't let himself adjust back to the idea that not every touch is an attack or attempt to bypass his defenses, is very easily felt.

His hand grabs at her wrist almost immediately, instinctively clenching as if to throw her off, but he forces himself to stop before he actually does anything that violent. However much he dislikes it, he assumes Ginia feels she has some kind of reason for it.

Even so, he pulls away, turning his head and speaking in a detached, deceptively level voice.] Let go of me.

[There's a slight bracing as he grabs her wrist, ready to move if he tries to break it or throw her. But when nothing happens and he pulls away, she releases him fast enough, putting distance between them again.

She considers signing at him. Instead, she takes out her phone to type up and play a message.]

I don't think your allies would want you to keep punishing yourself. No one is your sole responsibility either. Trust people can take care of themselves or have others watching out for them too.

[Shun visibly tenses as he hears that, and his tone is somewhat bitter as he responds, still not looking at her.] They're not here to tell me what they want anymore. And I didn't say anything about sole responsibility. But even the people I've known to be able to take care of themselves or had other people watching over them have been taken away from me. So that's nothing but an empty platitude now.

[Granted, the logical reaction to that is to realise that being there isn't necessarily going to help anyone depending on the circumstances, but Shun doesn't tend to care for logic where his capabilities are involved.]

Come on, you know you aren't the only person that's lost someone. Here, wherever we're from, there's few people not haunted by loss or failure or something.

[The synthetic tones of her phone don't carry the same tone carried in her signs, but it gives a bit of space even as she's no longer thinking over her words carefully as she hikes up the mountain. She doesn't want pick a fight but her mood is running hot.]

You won't accept thanks, you won't accept apologies, I wonder if everything is an empty platitude to you.

Losing someone and losing everything are two different things. [That's...probably as close as he's going to get at this point to admitting the root of the problem, but there's definitely something hard and bitter in his tone. He knows everyone here has probably lost at least one person, it's the nature of the place. But his life for the last several years has been a parade of losses mounting into the millions - Heartland had not been a small city, and what little chance they had for salvation rested largely on him.]

Actions mean more to me than words. There are times I'll accept those things, but it needs to be at the right time.

32 - Blow Your Top

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