thenearshore | (no subject)

[Ken promptly shifts into his vessel form, where his demeanor will become (perhaps) more easily readable to Gojyo. Instead of crouched down, as a dog he's laying flat on the floor, head between his paws, looking more like a dog at the vet than anything else. His eyes are following Gojyo and Hakkai's every movement, but otherwise he's entirely still.

His healing influence will be felt almost immediately; there's no actual sensation of his power itself, but its effects on Gojyo make themselves known as the seconds pass. The pain from his wound will gradually lessen as his skin starts knitting itself back together, the freshness of the wound fading. Essentially, Gojyo's own healing process is being put on fast forward. Hakkai will be gratified to see the wound becoming slowly less serious as he watches.]

[This is about the point when Goku comes running into the room, bumping into Chikusa as he rushes through the doorway, instinctively jumps over the dog on the floor (there are so many animals in this temple, Goku can't be expected to keep track of how many) and skids to a stop next to the couch.]

Gojyo!

[Okay, Gojyo, check. Hakkai, check. Gojyo's injuries looking not obviously serious, check. No more murderous energy in the room than should be expected, considering both Hakkai and Chikusa are in it, check. All right, that's fine then. ]

What the hell! Why'd you go off on your own?

[ It's... it's not terrible. In fact, it's kinda nice. He doesn't feel Ken's energy at all, which is surprising -- Gojyo holds his breath, tensed, waiting for the flood of dog breath and sharp claws, but all that happens is that his side feels, well. Itchy. Itchy, like it's healing.

He's just begun to relax, just begun to turn to Hakkai (and, by extension, Ken) with an expression of pleased surprise, when Goku comes barrelling in.

Thank every god, Goku's okay. ]

Hi. They killed Ayumu, Goku. She's dead.

[Hello to you too, Goku.]

[At least Chikusa isn't too bothered much, just readjusts himself against the wall and watches the proceedings. Ken's work is clearly going well enough, and he doubts that his partner will need to stick around for anything else. He's already starting to slide down to the ground when Gojyo says that.]

[There's a lot he could say there. He won't, save for a solitary breath that doesn't quite graduate into a huff. Instead, on the ground now with his long legs bent awkwardly, he holds his hands out.]

Ken.

[Gojyo is healing. That should be all that's needed. Now, he just wants to take his partner and get out of here. The longer one stays around Gojyo, after all, the longer his stupidity has a chance to manifest. The longer he's allowed to be stupid, the more likely a fight is going to happen.]

[Well, that's not the sort of thing Hakkai wants anyone to say around Ken and Chikusa. Or Goku, for that matter.

Or himself, but, at least, he knows better. His expression is still turning remote, cold as a winter wind at the back of the neck.]

She disappeared.

[It may mean the same thing, in the end. It's even less likely that she'll return from a disappearance than she will from a death -- but it's happened before, hasn't it? It's happened more than once.

And he doesn't want to discuss the difference between she disappeared and they killed her around Goku.

Not with Sanzo gone, at least.]

[Ken's ears shift a bit when Chikusa says his name, but he doesn't actually move from his spot on the floor. He knows proximity affects the healing acceleration he can provide; he'd had plenty of chances to observe the process while healing Ayumu. So while Chikusa might want to leave, Ken isn't going to budge until Gojyo's at least fairly well healed - or unless Hakkai sends him away. Which is the other reason he's not moving; Hakkai (and, to a lesser extent, Gojyo) accepted his help, so Ken's going to provide it until either it's no longer needed or he's told to stop.

He visibly twitches at Gojyo's words, before letting out a long, low whine. He doesn't necessarily believe what Gojyo's saying is true - for one thing, Hibari came back after disappearing once, even if he'd lost his memories, and for another, Gojyo has a history of believing weird shit that doesn't make logical sense and Ken knows it - but the very possibility distresses him. And there's no way to reassure himself after hearing those words and thinking those thoughts, no way to comfort himself that Gojyo's wrong.]

[There's a moment when Goku freezes- Ayumu's dead, she's really gone this time, someone killed Ayumu. For that moment, he feels cold all over. Then Hakkai speaks up and Goku shakes his head to remove the cloud of gloom. They don't know where Ayumu is right now. (They don't know where anyone is). But they're all here right now.]

Ayu's died a buncha times, she'll be fine!

[That's some logic. But everyone is upset- Goku can feel it- and Ayumu wouldn't want them to be.]

You're the dumbass that ran off and got all beat up and captured! [Goku punches Gojyo across the head. Partly to snap him out of it, partly because he deserves it.] Why'd you go on your own, dumb cockroach?!

Ow, hey!

[ Goku's punch rocks his head back, and Gojyo raises a hand to block in case Goku's got the idea to hit him a second time. ]

I'm wounded, have pity on the wounded guy.

[ He understands Goku's anger that he went on his own, just like he understands Ken and Chikusa's anger that he's in their house, again. What he doesn't understand is Hakkai's anger, and Goku's denial.

Why is everyone pretending that she's not dead? What's he missing here? He looks back and forth between Hakkai and Goku, his terrible poker face making his confusion clear. Ken and Chikusa know she's dead, right? So why are Hakkai and Goku pretending she isn't? ]

I just wanted to talk with Amaterasu, that's it. [ Sure, it would have been a shouting kind of talk, but he didn't mean to hurt anyone. He really didn't. ] She's got t'know something about the people d- uh. [ He shoots a wary glance at Hakkai. ] Disappearing.

[...Dammit.]

[Lips thinning, he pauses when Ken doesn't immediately come back to him. This really isn't good enough? He can't just leave it like it is? Gojyo isn't going to die, or else Heaven wouldn't have given him back to them.]

[Chikusa doesn't have to really wonder. He knows he doesn't. If Ken is committed to something, just like himself, then he'll go all the way. There are no half-done jobs.]

[Still in the air, his fingers curl back into his palm, and he hesitates for a moment before pushing himself forward. Getting up is for losers and assholes; Chikusa crawls over to his partner instead. He doesn't want to be this close, doesn't want to be near Gojyo at all, but he definitely won't abandon his partner... especially not when he's whining like that. Pressing a hand onto the nape of Ken's neck, he rubs his finger against the back of his ear.]

...It'll be alright, Ken. It's fine.

[He'll explain as much later, how Ayumu's existence has always been strange and unstable in the Far Shore... God, to shinki, to ayakashi, to god again. But later. Away from Gojyo, who'll just interrupt and ruin things.]

[It's the words themselves, more than any desire to protect Goku, that had left Hakkai so frozen. He shakes his head at Gojyo's nervous glance his way; the icy veneer is already falling away, real grief showing through beneath it.

He isn't stopping Goku from punching Gojyo, though. That's just their kind of friendship. It's probably better comfort than anything Hakkai can manage, despite the risk of concussion. And Chikusa's hand on Ken's canine head is better comfort to him, too.

Ayumu gone... things hadn't been good between them, recently, and they've never been easy. Still, it's a wound that will be open for a while. Saying dead, no matter how accurate it is, hurts more.]

She doesn't usually answer her door. Even if she does know something... [He looks up at Gojyo, meaning to catch his gaze and hold it.]

...Next time, take us with you. She might open the door to a God of Fortune, if she opens it to anyone.

[He hasn't tested this assertion yet, but it's possible, isn't it? And if she doesn't, he can at least make sure that things don't get violent. He lets his voice go light, and continues.]

Besides, if you cause trouble again, I'll have to take responsibility for it now.

Edited 2018-09-23 20:22 (UTC)

[Ken turns his head to press it against Chikusa, trying to burrow it into Chikusa's side as much as possible. He's intensely unhappy with this conversation - with Ayumu's disappearance, with Hakkai and Goku tying themselves to whatever bad ideas Gojyo may have in the future, with not having any say in what's happened or what's going to happen.

Chikusa's there, at least. But the thought of having lost Ayumu, and the fear of what might happen to Hakkai and Goku, and his own past experiences with Chikusa dying and his long history of unhappiness when Chikusa disassociates and leaves Ken technically alone...it's all too easy for him to imagine what would happen if Chikusa disappeared.

Chikusa believes fate intends for them always to be together, but Ken doesn't trust fate or anything else to be that kind. Chikusa worries about Ken and what might happen to him, but he's never experienced Ken dying and leaving him behind in reality. Ken's felt that twice. It's not fate keeping them together; it's luck. And luck doesn't always hold out.]

[Disappearing isn't the same as dying. Goku disappeared and he's still here. Whether they're all alive or all dead isn't the point- whichever one they are, disappearing doesn't make a difference. Ayumu's just somewhere else right now, that's all. That initial outburst done, Goku's not really angry anymore. He flops down on the couch next to Gojyo with a huff.]

That's what I told her, but I don't think she believed me. [He never believed Gojyo would really hurt anyone without a good reason. Amaterasu doesn't know him but Goku does.] But, Gojyo, she was talkin' about keepin' ya there forever!

[Which definitely would have gotten someone hurt.]

[ Next time. There's only two people left who Gojyo cares about enough to do something this stupid for, and they're both in this room. If Hakkai's at his side next time, it'll be because Goku is dead.

The thought settles over his mind like fog, a thick and smothering terror. They're all going to vanish eventually, he realizes, as Goku chatters angrily in his ear. And if they don't, then they'll still have to watch everyone they care about vanish.

Oh god, that's so much worse. He can't think about that. ]

Forever's way too long. [ Wait, no... he shakes his head. That's not what Goku was saying, is it? He's saying don't go without me -- Hakkai is, too -- and it's making Gojyo want to reach out and wrap his arms around both of them and insist that that's his line. Don't go without him, please. He can't bear to feel this way again.

But instead, he gives Goku a halfassed shove. ] I hear you, shrimp. [ The movement hurts, but it's tolerable -- Ken does good work. ] Next time I'll come get you first. Both of you.

[Along Ken's fur, Chikusa's fingers curl, and he thinks to the case of poisons that are still almost prepared up in his and Ken's room. If Gojyo goes, if Hakkai goes with him...]

[Still holding onto Ken, he reverses their usual position- Ken speaking, Chikusa quiet- to give a voice to what he's now certain is plaguing his partner just as much as it is for him.]

Hakkai. [His voice is quiet.] We don't need to go to her. [Please don't go.] Let's just not bother with the old gods.

[He forces his fingers to relax against Ken's neck.]

...Not unless it's the worst case scenario.

[Him and Ken will go to war for him, but it's not on the top of Chikusa's list.]

[Gojyo's terrified. Ken's terrified. Even Chikusa: Hakkai's chest aches as though he's been stabbed, sharp and overwhelming, and he tries to breathe, once, then twice, before sitting abruptly down on the couch next to Gojyo's legs and rubbing a hand hard across his face.

Next time, next time. How many losses can they all bear before it's too many?

It's true, what the monks say: attachment leads to suffering. And yet, to be wholly detached, he thinks, is to be as good as dead already.]

I don't want to deal with the old gods, unless it's the worst case. There are people I will protect from them....

[His gaze sweeps the room. Gojyo, Goku, Chikusa and Ken. All of the people he'd go to war with the Heavens over, anymore, are sitting in this room.]

... but I don't think negotiating with them will do any good, and I don't think we can beat them, yet.

[Ken's head lifts when Hakkai sits down heavily on the couch, ears lifting. After a moment he lets out a soft, worried whine; he can tell Hakkai is upset, or at least stressed, and it worries him.

After a moment, and a look to Chikusa, Ken gets up and pads over to where Hakkai is sitting, resting his head on the couch near Hakkai's leg. Ken's aware that his vessel form tends to be comforting in its presence in a way that Ken himself, in his human form, can't quite manage. So while he perhaps can't do anything directly useful, maybe proximity will make Hakkai feel at least a little better.

It reassures Ken a little, anyway.

We don't care about the old gods, so whatever you wanna do with them, we'll help. I don't think they're gonna help us with anything anyway. Even if they do actually care about us, they're pretty useless.

Don't leave us behind again, Hakkai-sama. If you get killed, they might as well kill us too.]

[Goku is shoved away and then shuffles down the couch to make room for Hakkai and the dog- that's not Ken, is it? Gojyo's reassurance lets him relax a little. Gojyo understands, that's the important thing.

But everyone is still so tense. "Next time", "the worst case", "people I will protect", "yet"... It feels like they're preparing for war, even when they're saying they're not going to attack right now. He can feel that impending violence in the air. Goku will kill for Hakkai and Gojyo without question, will kill for Ken and Chikusa if it comes to it, and he's not afraid of being killed himself. But still...]

... Why can't we just talk to 'em? I don't mind fightin', but... [It doesn't feel like the right choice.] If we kill 'em, they can't tell us anythin' and it won't help us. And if we kill some of 'em, we'll probably have to kill all of 'em.

[Which feels like a lot, when they're not even sure that the old gods are their enemy. Not impossible... but still a lot.]

Ignoring 'em isn't helping either. If we can talk to them, shouldn't we just do that?

And say what?

[ With the pain in his side easing, his exhaustion – in combination with all those sedatives they fed him earlier – is making it harder and harder to keep his eyes open. ]

Pretty please, give us our friends back?

[ Hakkai looks absolutely miserable, and that’s at least half fully Gojyo’s fault. He wants to reach out, offer comfort – a hand on his back, maybe? – but Hakkai doesn’t want Gojyo touching him. He’s as good as said so, before. They aren’t there yet. ]

They’ve been pretendin’ all this time that they don’t know anything about it. They’re not gonna tell the truth now just ‘cause we ask ‘em nice.

[ There’s a dog. Buddy, his heart whispers, and without thinking Gojyo reaches down and gives the little mutt a scratch behind the ears. ]

It’s gonna have to be a fight.

[Ah. Chikusa nods to Ken when he looks at him, already knowing what his partner wants to do, and crawls patiently after him as he goes over to Hakkai. Physical comfort has always been Ken's go-to with him; that he reuses it with Hakkai is utterly unsurprising. He settles down besides his partner, listening attentively to Hakkai, and then Gojyo. Him and his god are on the same page, as usual, and Goku is giving them more credit than they deserve... although he's right that killing them won't necessarily give them new information.]

[...And it wouldn't be a conversation if Gojyo shut up for once. On one hand, he's right, but on the other... Quietly, he watches Gojyo reach over to scratch Ken's ear. Chikusa hadn't thought he'd been so drugged or lacking blood as to forget who that dog is, but here they are, he guesses. Reaching down, he curls his fingers underneath Ken's hindquarters and lifts up with a grunt.]

[Sorry, Ken, he's shoving you up onto Hakkai's lap. Hope you're fine with that. Part of it might just be to get the two closer together (and that this means he's closer to Gojyo is pure coincidence), but that might be hard to tell considering Chikusa's head thunks against Hakkai's leg shortly after.]

[He's hardly done anything today and already too much has happened.]

...I think they're just ignorant, considering how well they've handled the cult affairs. [Which is all he'll say to counter Gojyo. He doesn't want to start a fight, especially while Hakkai is right there.] I think it's better... to continue investigating what we can with the cult.

I think it's the best path we have for learning about why anyone is here, or where people go...

[Ken is surprised - but not displeased - when Chikusa deposits him into Hakkai's lap, actually moving him closer to Gojyo. He'd thought that Chikusa might object to Gojyo touching him, but either Chikusa appreciates that Ken has been trying ~~and failing~~ to make some kind of peace with Gojyo for awhile, or Chikusa just recognizes that Ken would never want someone to stop his being petted, no matter who's doing it. Or, possibly, both.

Either way, Ken is likewise pleasantly surprised by Gojyo petting him, although - like Chikusa - he expects that it's only happening because Gojyo's pretty out of it. But it feels nice, and it's a lot better than fighting with Gojyo, and...well, Gojyo seems upset, too.

Tentatively, he licks Gojyo's hand. Considering Ken is normally a teenage boy, and still possesses the mind of one, this might come off as odd...unless you know that Ken acts on his instincts almost exclusively, and his instincts while in the shape of a dog conform pretty closely to the body he's in. This is just what feels the most natural for him to do right now.]

[Hakkai's eyebrows go up as Chikusa boosts Ken into his lap, and up further as Ken, hesitant, licks Gojyo's hand. It's not the fact that Ken's licking someone's hand that surprises him -- he's seen Ken do the same in human form, some of his instincts are very canine indeed, no matter his shape. It's more that Ken's willing to respond positively to Gojyo reaching out.

It's helping, a little; he can feel the secondhand tension within himself easing, though his own cold fear is the same. He blows out a breath, and looks first at Gojyo.]

They could be lying -- it could be that they are the ones making us appear and disappear -- but we don't know that for certain. And I am willing to believe Amaterasu doesn't know.

[If she does, she's a good enough actor that Hakkai doubts he'll ever be able to shake the truth out of her against her will.]

I don't want to start a fight when we don't know who our enemies really are. That cult...

[He trails off, and leans back against the back of the couch, looking up at the beams of the ceiling overhead.]

They're at least an outside source, don't you think? They and their gods have a different perspective on Heaven, and a more informed one than ours.

[He rests his hand, briefly, on Ken's shoulders, ruffling the wiry fur there, and then lets it fall to rest on Gojyo's leg instead, trying to convey the same comfort.]

I don't want any of us to be hurt, and I don't want any of us to disappear... and that means we need to know what's going on. Sooner, rather than later.

[Goku does stop and stare at Chikusa and the dog practically climbing onto Hakkai's lap. He's not sure if Chikusa is trying to be comforting, trying to drive a wedge between Hakkai and Gojyo, or both. Either way, by the time the dog (which might be Ken. He's not sure but he's starting to think the dog might be Ken) starts licking Gojyo's hand, it's all getting kind of weird.

... Oh, well. Anything that makes Hakkai relax should be appreciated. Back to the conversation.]

I don't see why they'd want us here in the first place.

[Goku knows he's not great at understanding schemes and the like, but the old gods and shinki seem more irritated at them being around than anything else. The ones that do try to be friendly still seem like they'd be happier if they just fitted in and shut up about it.]

You're talkin' about Votelli and those guys, right? I'd rather talk to her and that other kid than Amaterasu and them anyway.

[Sure, Votelli kidnapped a bunch of people with trees and Sotero tried to bury them in lava, but surely they can respect that kind of direct violence. The old gods are just snobbish, which is way more annoying.]

Plus at least they're doin' somethin', even if it's a pain for us. They've gotta know something.

[ Of course the dog's not Ken. If it was Ken, Chikusa wouldn't have put the dog closer to Gojyo, and he sure as hell wouldn't be so casually okay with Gojyo petting him. It's not Ken. It's just a nice dog. Just a nice dog that he's petting, and that Hakkai's petting too.

But then Hakkai's hand is on Gojyo's leg, and Gojyo's vision tunnels until there's nothing in the world but the place where Hakkai's hand and his leg connect. That's. He licks his lips. That's not what he thought Hakkai would do. That's nice. Maybe if he sits perfectly still, Hakkai will leave his hand there.

Votelli, Goku says, dragging Gojyo back into the conversation. They've gotta know something. He lifts up his head, trying to blink the exhaustion away as Goku's words bounce around his half-empty head. They've got to know something. About Votelli?

Wait, he knows something about Votelli! ]

Did you know Sensei made Votelli? Wished her into bein'. You think he coulda made us, too?

[For fucks sake. Chikusa watches Hakkai put his hand on Gojyo's leg, which prompts the guy to lick his lips, which prompts Chikusa's eyes to reach a level of deadpan that genuinely belong in dry grave dirt six feet under and nowhere else.]

[All he can think about is when him and Ken had returned from a perfectly fine (and mildly frisky) date, only to hear Ayumu's voice reach a rather impressive note. God. He can almost imagine that happening again, with someone just as bad. After all, the noise isn't the problem, just who it's coming from.]

[It's decided: him and Minako have to hurry up their dumb blind date thing before he ever gets a chance to hear what Gojyo's orgasm noise is.]

[...Oh, right. Gojyo is talking. He's talking nonsense again, as per usual, although at least Chikusa can grudgingly admit that it's as good an idea as anything else for the state of Heaven as anything.]

...I doubt it's like that. [He says it more to Hakkai in a low mutter than actually directed at Gojyo. If they were created like Votelli was, then they'd be in Votelli's position. Chikusa has his own theories on that, but he won't bother to talk about them. After all...]

Put him to bed, Hakkai. He's out of it.

[Which is better than Gojyo usually is, Chikusa has found, on account of drugs help him be a lot less belligerent or prone to picking fights. It's really kind of refreshing. However, it's rather useless for a conversation on this kind of thing, more useless than Gojyo is normally on such matters. At least, in Chikusa's opinion. Idly, his hand rests along Ken's back to scratch there.]

[Ken has no real opinion on Gojyo's current theory; for one thing, he's asking for opinions on a possibility, not declaring he's decided it's true for sure. For another, Ken has no idea what he's talking about, but he's also not sure how much it would matter even if Gojyo's theory were true. And finally - and most importantly - Gojyo is obviously messed up right now anyway. He has plenty of excuse not to make any sense.

He can't really chime in on the current conversation to anyone but Hakkai, but he doesn't have much to say about it. With his body stretched out on Hakkai's lap, he lowers his head to rest it on Gojyo's knee. Gojyo probably won't notice until/unless Hakkai's hand moves, but it's not like Ken's doing it for attention; his current position just means that Gojyo's legs are just the most convenient and natural landing place for his head if he wants to stretch out. He may have to move soon, but that's up to Hakkai.

He glances back at his god.] I can stay with him until he's healed all the way, Hakkai-sama. It shouldn't take too much longer. [Ken is aware, on some level, of the wound his power is working on, how far along his healing process on Gojyo is. At the rate it's going, Gojyo might be all the way healed up within ten minutes.]

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SORRY FOR THE WAIT making the switch from Mac to PC is a long and arduous process

No stress!

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