thenearshore | I'm just a mean green mother from outer space

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I'm just a mean green mother from outer space

Who: Gojyo (

erogappa) and Kurama (

herbalsupplements)
What: First annual Demon Pride festival
When: 12 April
Where: Xochipilli's temple
Warnings: Drug use!

"The plants will only eat you if you're smoking, Gojyo." His impression of Kurama is terrible -- it sounds nothing like him. "Smoking is bad for my bees, Gojyo." Seriously, that guy is just plain strange. It's not like he'd had his bees on him at the school! ...Or maybe he had. Gojyo pauses at the edge of the greenery and considers that for a moment. He could have been full of bees. There were definitely stranger things than that happening in heaven these days.

He'll have to ask about that.

But for now, he sucks down the last drag off his cigarette, stomping the filter out in the dirt with a brutal twist of his boot. Kurama's promised him a non-smoky alternative to cigarettes, which is the only reason he's willing to risk life and limb in the fox's smoker-eating jungle. (Well. It's not the only reason. But it's the only one he's willing to cop to, even to himself.)

"Oooooooooi!" he calls, stepping his first ginger step onto Xochipilli's land. "The currently not smoking god Dionysus is comin' to pay a call to some bee-lovin' fox, so nothin' better eat me!"

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Kurama told himself he'd be good when Gojyo arrived, and so he is, coming to stand at the top of the stairs and not rustling plants in a menacing fashion at all, no matter how funny it would be. "No harm will come to you under Xochipilli's eye," he calls back, and trusts that to be sufficiently reassuring for now.

He has everything ready up here: a bucket, mugs, several jugs of water, an electric kettle plugged into an extension cord, and a small pile of freshly dried tobacco. All that's missing is an obnoxious kappa, and that part's about to be taken care of.

He has to admit -- for being an overgrown jungle full of man-eating plants, the fox's place is kinda pretty. He's not into plants, personally -- flowers are pretty, but that's about as far as he's willing to go -- but this place has a kind of... of alive feel to it. It doesn't feel like any place he's ever been before, doesn't remind him of anything. It's just... nice.

"The hell kind of name is that, anyway?" he grumbles, trudging up toward the pyramid. "I thought Dionysus was bad, but yours is just weird."

Finally, something they can agree upon. Kurama's made modifications in the weeks since his arrival, of course, but the general spirit of the place has been set from the start, flowers and foliage bursting from every surface like the whole pyramid had been lifted out of the remains of a city centuries overgrown. If he didn't want to be home so badly, he might even love it.

"It's Nahuatl, the language of the Aztecs. I was rather surprised to learn they had a god of flowers, to be honest."

It could use a stereo system, maybe some mood lighting... a couple dancing girls... but really, it's not bad.

"Yeah?" His fingers are already itching for another cigarette, but he knows it's just because he can't have one. Come on, Sha, he mentally chides himself. You've got a week without a smoke before. Remember the mountains? Don't be such a wimp. "Why's that?" Not that he's any great god scholar or anything, but aren't flowers, like... everywhere? And pretty? Who wouldn't have a god for them? "They snow people or something?"

"They lived very close to the equator, actually." Kurama moves to the side, freeing the flow of traffic such as it is, and then says just as pleasant as you please, "I was surprised because they're more popularly known for human sacrifice."

...He realizes, suddenly, that that might be a little off-putting, but it's the truth, so he doesn't really care.

The flow of traffic (such as it is) comes to a screeching halt.

"You're a demon god?" Demons have gods where he's from? "You're a demon flower god?!"

That's the part he has a problem with? Kurama doesn't tilt his head in confusion, but the urge is there. With the cigarettes and unmistakable human blood, he'd assumed this Dionysus to have some familiarity with world history, but perhaps he grew up in Demon World? Or maybe he's like Sonic and Roxas, from somewhere else entirely...

"I'm reasonably sure most of the Aztecs were human."

"...Huh." His fingers twitch again, craving the familiar crush of a cigarette between them, for the pause in conversation that the act of smoking provides. Humans sacrificing humans. It's not that it's hard to believe, it's just... humans like to put up a united front against demons, in his experience, and demons do the same. Well, maybe that a place like the one Hazel came from, where most of the demons had been killed off? Seems like there were more and more of those places all the time.

He shrugs, and continues on his way toward the house. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised. People are people, and they all do crazy things, huh?"

"No one group has a monopoly on cruelty, it's true." But that only brings to mind memories too fresh to be borne lightly, of boys lying lifeless on cave floors and rage like a welding torch in Kurama's gut. It's not what this was supposed to be about at all, and not what he wants it to be about, so he pushes those thoughts back down deep where they belong.

"But you're here for tobacco, not philosophy," he continues, hardly missing a beat. "Come sit in the grass, and we'll see if I can't brew you up something less objectionable."

On the grass? Damn, this place really is like being outside. Gojyo plops down on the lawn where indicated and promptly makes himself comfortable, stretching out his long legs and leaning back on his hands, face to the sky.

"So are all fox demons this into plants, or is it just you?" Tobacco, philosophy... how about a little of both? "I never met any foxes before. There was one guy, he claimed to be from th'vole clan, but that's it."

Kurama folds down to the ground with a bit more grace, fills the kettle with water, and flicks it on. "All spirit animals may learn to use plant magic," he explains as he goes, "but few bother with it these days, and fewer still pursue anything near my level of mastery." Which is actually a fairly unpleasant thought. Maybe he should take on students when he finds the chance? Something to consider later.

"I'm surprised you haven't met any of my kind, though. Have you not lived in Japan before now? We're fairly common here."

Gojyo watches Kurama work out of the corner of his eye. "Nope. China." Is he really just going to break up a cigarette in a cup of hot water? It sounds simple enough - wonder why it's never occurred to him to try?

"And I don't know anybody would could make a plant eat cigarettes like that... and pretty sure I know a guy who would have, if he could," he added, wryly. "He can control his own body's energy, and he can use it to heal other people, but he can't do plant stuff." The vines are different, and none of Kurama's business anyway. "Nobody I know could do stuff like that."

China? Really? Kurama could swear they have a respectable fox population of their own, but it is an admittedly large country, and one he hasn't visited in centuries.

The water is nearly ready, so he drops a pinch of tobacco from the bowl at his side in one mug and a much smaller pinch in the second. "Simple plant manipulation requires a great deal of precision in energy control, and the semi-autonomy to only eat people actively smoking is hardly simple. Which isn't to speak ill of your friend--healing has its own set of difficulties, many of which I couldn't begin to tackle without neglecting my current skills."

The kettle beeps; Kurama removes it from the heating unit, pours steaming water into the mugs, and then drags the bucket closer, because the smell already tells him this is going to get unpleasant. "I also have friends who use their energy as projectiles, swords, and a means of purification, to name but a few."

Gojyo frowns at the tiny pinch of tobacco that Kurama drops into the cup. Does he really expect such a small amount to have any effect? That couldn't have been more than a single cigarette's worth of tobacco... and if Kurama thinks that a single cigarette is going to sate Gojyo's addiction, then he's got another think coming.

Well, he mentally shrugs, he can also just ask his host to pour him another one in ten minutes. And another after that, and after that, until the man gets tired of him and kicks him out. ...That actually sounds like a fun afternoon, he chuckles quietly.

"Huh?" Oh, right. He was talking about something. "Yeah, he, uh... he can do that too." He lifts his head finally -- the tea smells like an ashtray that was left out in the rain, which isn't all that surprising. It's not the worst thing he's ever considered putting in his mouth! "The projectile thing. So is that ready?"

"If you want it to be weak as a baby. Four minutes this time, and then we'll adjust accordingly." He may not have dabbled in tobacco infusions specifically before, but Kurama knows a thing or two about tea-making--and, more importantly, about not scalding the shit out of his tongue. It's rather obvious Gojyo's getting bored already, however, so he slouches into a slightly more comfortable position and redirects the conversation.

"And what do you do, if not energy manipulation?"

Hey, Gojyo has no idea how long tea takes. Gojyo doesn't make tea. Gojyo drinks tea, but he drinks tea that's handed to him at the perfect time and strength and temperature because when he tries to make tea it comes out strong enough to kill grass.

Some of that impatience might also be wishful thinking, and this conversation's taken a sharp left turn into things he didn't want to talk about. "Nothing," he replies, a bit too harshly. "I'm only half." He holds Kurama's eye in clear challenge -- you want to make something of it?

Kurama meets Gojyo's challenge with simple, honest confusion. "The only difference blood makes is giving you the option to use human energy instead of demon. Did no one train you?" Or perhaps they did, but not sufficiently? He knows human energy is supposed to be more difficult to access the first time, but that's rarely an obstacle in demon families.

Train him? Kurama's talking like the stuff Hakkai can do -- or the stuff Kurama can do with plants, for that matter -- is just a matter of somebody sitting you down and explaining it. It can't be that easy, can it?

"No," he says slowly, shaking his head. "Nobody trained me." None of the other demons he knew growing up could do anything like Kurama can... at least, not that Gojyo was aware of. And sure, they've run into some on the road who could do crazy shit -- the guy whose arm turned into a big metal blade comes to mind -- but he'd assumed those were... well. He didn't know what he thought those were!

"We kinda lived outside of town." It's not a lie, at any rate. Gojyo leans forward, suddenly very interested in what Kurama has to say. "You think I could do stuff like that? Like control plants?"

"Of course. Not plants," he clarifies, "because you're not an animal, but there are any number of disciplines you could learn with the right master." Kurama's seen demons with any number of ridiculous abilities over the years, ice control and killer yo-yos and creating explosives out of thin air, but all of those were things that could be learned to some degree. It's only a matter of finding one's aptitudes, which could admittedly be difficult if one lived in isolation.

"Do you want lessons? I usually save the beginner's stuff for when I have kids of my own, but we're not exactly running short on free time."

Does he want... seriously? This is all going so fast. Fast and unexpectedly! First Kurama offers him tobacco tea, and now he's offering him demon lessons? Is this...

...is this what demons were like with each other? "Yeah," he nods, before Kurama can take the offer back. Banri had never said anything about powers or stuff like that, but Banri had been an idiot. Gojyo grins, shyly scratching the back of his head. "I mean, if you think I could."

It doesn't surprise Kurama, anymore, how a little well-applied kindness can turn surly into sweet--it had been working for Hiei and Yusuke both back home and has long since worked its magic on him--but it still warms his heart to recognize it in action, and he can't help but smile back.

"Of course! It may take a while, but anyone can learn with enough practice and the right teacher."

And if his nose is any judge, the tobacco's steeped plenty now. "Now, shall we see how terrible this tea is?"

He's gonna learn magic! Not plant magic, but maybe ki-balls like Hakkai can do! "Yeah!" he agrees, enthusiastically snatching up one of the cups. "Here's to magic tricks!" And he downs the whole stinking thing in two big gulps.

Even drinking that fast, he can still taste it. "That's disgusting," he groans, setting the cup back down. It's exactly like licking an ashtray. "Yuck."

Kurama laughs, then holds his breath as he takes a drink from the remaining mug--and oh, oh this is terrible, this was the worst decision ever, the grass is already pushing a jug of clean water closer as he swallows what may be the most disgusting thing he has ever put in his mouth. He sets his cup back down just a little harder than necessary and goes for the water.

"I take it back, you can smoke all you want," he says when he's rinsed some of the horror away. "I'm not making anyone drink that hell-water."

It's not that bad, Gojyo wants to say -- it is, but he's not going to wimp out and admit it -- but he only gets as far as "it's when he has to clap his hand over his mouth to stop from being explosively sick.

His stomach is not happy about what he's put in it. He warily pulls his hand away from his mouth, ready to slap it back on if he needs to.

"Okay," he agrees after a moment, nodding cautiously. "That's terrible, you're right."

"Here." He sets the water down in front of Gojyo and pulls the bucket closer to them both, since it looks like they might need it after all. Kurama has a few advantages right now, a full demon's constitution versus a smaller and weaker quantity of tea, but even he kind of wants to throw up.

"Now I understand why they saved this for ritual use. Ugh."

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I'm just a mean green mother from outer space

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