Of course you know, this means war. [1 Open/2 Closed]

[subconmodo]

Who: Snatcher and you, Snatcher and Hat Kid, and Snatcher and anyone at Apollo's Temple
When: Near the end of February
Where: Around
What: Snatcher has found out a horrible, horrible truth. Engage Petty Mode+



[He'd had Jeremy check three times. Three. Times.]

[He'd looked online.]

[By some terrible, horrible twist of fate, Hibiki Shikyoin wasn't kidding. She was actually somewhat successful. That haughty, stuck-up, bratty pretty boy actually had one up on him. HIM! Why the HECK was someone like THAT better than HIM?!]

[They weren't. That was how. And he was going to make sure Hibiki knew it.]

[Let the games begin.]



A: Egg. (Open)



[All around the city, stores have been running out of eggs. There one moment, gone the next. Smaller businesses have reported someone leaving money, but the larger grocery chains? Nothing. Zilch. Nada. It's a mystery]

[Or it would be. If Snatcher and his minion weren't wandering around with a couple of wagons carefully stacked with cartons of eggs.]

All right. I think we've almost got enough. The store down the street should have everything we need. Let's go!





B: Death Wish (Closed to Hat Kid)



[Scene: A dark room somewhere in Subcon Weald. A single table stands illuminated by a single lamp, putting a spotlight on Hat Kid and Snatcher, sitting at the table]

All right, kiddo. You know why I've brought you here.

[He slides the contract over, face down, his eyes narrowed.]

And this one won't even cost you your life.




C: Attack on Apollo (Closed to residents of Apollo's Temple)



[It's a beautiful day. The sun's shining, the weather's finally reaching edging past the chill of winter into Spring, the flowers are starting to bloom...]

[And an egg sails through the air to splatter against the wall of Apollo's Temple.]

[It's a two-pronged attack, with Jeremy taking one side and Snatcher on the other, darting between goats and flower beds to launch egg after egg at what Snatcher can only think of as the worst theme park attraction in existence.]

[He's doing Hibiki a favor by helping her redecorate, really.]

Comments

[hattersgonnahat]

Really? That's all?

[That seems....simple. A little too simple.]

[There had to be something more to this. For all the times that Snatcher had tried to kill her, there's no way he had something else in mind.]

[...Oh right, didn't he always say that she needed to get better at negotiating upfront?]

Wait, what am I getting out of this?

[subconmodo]

[He snaps his fingers to reveal... a magical girl outfit. Well crafted, hand sewed, and made to match her umbrella in blues and yellows.]

This. As long as you keep your mouth shut about me being involved with this contract of ours.

[hattersgonnahat]

[ -! Wow, he even had one ready!]

[...Though wait a second. Gonna have to look it over more closely before deciding. It's not... bad, but it's not really good either. Judging by her face so far she doesn't seem all too impressed.]

[subconmodo]

[...She's kidding.]

[Does she even know how hard he worked on that?! How complicated some of that was?! All those hats HAVE to have eaten her brain. It's the only thing he can think of.]

[Brat wouldn't know fashion if it smacked her in the face.]

All right, fine. Going to play hardball, eh? Sit back down, kiddo. I've got one more prize for you--but you've got to complete two specific tasks in this contract to get it.

[He pulls out a box. Not an expensive one. Not in the slightest. It's one of those craft-store boxes. The kind that you get for a buck and are meant to be decorated all fancy. Snatcher didn't have time for that. He just wanted one with a latch]

[He puts a hand on top]

So what'll it be first? The tasks or the prize?

[hattersgonnahat]

[....Oh really.]

[She reeeeeaaaally wanted to see what was in the box first. And it's so tempting. Had it being anyone else but the soul stealing lawyer ghost...]

[Sigh, restraint was hard.]

What's the task first?

[subconmodo]

Two of them.

[He holds up one finger.]

First one: you find any and all posters advertising movies this jerk is starring in and draw on them. In permanent marker. Mustaches, stupid glasses, whatever that demented little mind of yours can think of.

Two:

[he holds up a second finger and a sign floats behind him. It's a simple thing. With neon green posterboard and large, block letters in all capitals that say "YOU SMELL"]

You photobomb while holding this sign at every opportunity you can.

[hattersgonnahat]

[These would take a lot of extra work to do... But only if whatever was in that box was worth it.]

I could try my best....

[Before asking what the contents of the box were next, the kid looked at the photo again.] What did he do to you anyway?

[subconmodo]

He's absolutely, positively, completely INSUFFERABLE. And he has the gall to be more successful than ME!

I want you to make sure he knows his place, kid. Make the pretty boy cry when he looks up at his ceiling at night and thinks about how insignificant he is.

[he balls his hand into a fist, the claws on the hand on the box digging into the cheap cardboard, leaving little holes.]

[How these incredibly small, petty things are supposed to accomplish any of what he said, who knows?]

[hattersgonnahat]

[Sooooo....yeah. Something petty. Thought as much.]

[Getting a little bit concerned for that box getting crushed. What if it was broken now??] Sooo...what is in that box?

[subconmodo]

Heh. I thought you'd never ask.

[He leans forward, as though sharing a secret]

This is the good stuff, kid. Was even banned in a few countries for awhile.

[He taps the lid]

And these? All yours.

[He takes his time opening the lid, slowly pulling the latch, pace practically crawling as he pulls it back on its hinges. Let it never be said that Snatcher doesn't know how to build suspense.]

[And inside. Well...]

[Inside lies five large Kinder Surprise eggs.]

[hattersgonnahat]

[....What this is forbidden chocolate and why must you expose it to her?] Ooooo...

Alright, I'll do it. [Although not without trying to sneak one of those chocolate eggs out of the box first. Gotta make sure they're the real thing yanno!]

[subconmodo]

Hey! [he swats her hand]

No sampling the merchandise before the job's done, kid!

[He pulls the box away and shoves the contract at her]

Sign the paper, get to work, then we'll talk chocolate!

[hattersgonnahat]

[Pouts and crosses arms after having her hand swatted. Meanie...]

Fine, fine.

[Got to just sign this in the same place as usual? ...Probably should double check what's written on the paper. There better be no mention of souls hidden here.]

[subconmodo]

I hereby agree to make it a priority to make one Hibiki Shikyoin (AKA: the god Apollo's) life a living heck, using all tools at my disposal to bother, pester, and generally annoy him.

No souls involved this time. However, the Snatcher is not liable for any harm, death, injury, or retaliation that happens to the signer of this contract. And the signer needs to keep her mouth shut about the Snatcher's involvement in this deal.

Actually reading the whole thing for once, kid? Good job! Even someone like you can learn. Here's what you need to do for the chocolate:

• Use permanent marker to deface as many movie posters with that jerk's face on it as possible


• Hold up the provided poster while photobombing him as many times as you can.

_____________x

[hattersgonnahat]

[She did actually read the whole thing, for once! It took maybe a dozen or so Death Wishes to learn this.]

[But all of this was checking out alright. No need to make 'adjustments' - forgot to bring a permanent marker anyway. Just the usual alien signature at the bottom and done.]

[subconmodo]

[Nope. Still can't figure out what her real name is.]

[But hey! Not like it matters. IT'S STAMPING TIME. And with the wax seal and a spark of magic, they've got a deal.]

Perfect! I'll keep ahold of this for you this time, kiddo. Go forth and do your worst!