thenearshore | [Closed] The principal's office, so to speak.

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[Closed] The principal's office, so to speak.

Who: Tsubasa Kazanari, Chris Yukine
When: March 13th, after this whole thing.
Where: Susanoo's Temple
What: Senpai's a little annoyed, but for what reason, precisely?
Warnings: None presently, but will update if necessary.

[Truth be told, Tsubasa isn't sure if Chris understands just quite the level that she's annoyed. There's probably an inkling of the reason, but even then...

Well. She can only speculate so far, lest she make too many assumptions of her junior.

It's not without reason, or care. In fact it's very much in that vein. It's taken her a couple of days to get her own head on straight, but she's well versed in Chris's tendencies. Though certain things can absolutely fly over her head, and do frequently, there's a certain sense of the people around her where she's acutely perceptive.

Well, she hopes she's right this time, anyway.

Regardless, she had prepared some tea for herself earlier when Chris had come yelling. Yes, herself - she might be fairly close to it, but she's not COMPLETELY helpless. She has a new pot set on a short table before her, which she sits at, on the floor, legs folded beneath her. Her eyes are closed and she almost looks like she's meditating.]

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[Whether she understands why Tsubasa is upset or not, Chris feels embarrassed. She more or less made an ass of herself on the network, and brought this whole situation on herself. It even got people to act in her defense when it wasn't even a dangerous situation.

Nevertheless, she's not going to stand Tsubasa up. She arrives... after a bit, but only because Tsubasa's temple grounds are a bit bigger than her's are. When she arrives finally, she stands outside the entrance to the room she's in.]

Hey, senpai. It's me.

[She's not trying to avoid anything, she's just not sure she should barge in like she owns the place.]

[Tsubasa doesn't budge, and she sits in silence for a moment, but then lets out a long sigh.]

You needn't be so formal, Yukine.

[To be honest, Chris barging in is kind of what she expects. She just eyes the entrance intently.] You should know well you have no need to announce yourself, and I do not expect you to.

[...honestly it makes Tsubasa herself feel a little too much like certain things she doesn't want to think of. Chris being her normal self would be more gratifying than anything else.]

... Didn't know if you wanted me to march in like I owned the place.

[That tells her that if she walks in, hanging her head and doing something like not looking Tsubasa in the eye, things probably won't go over well, so she walks in with her head held up, and her gaze fixed on her senior.]

So, let's talk then.

[Tsubasa gives her an even look as she walks in, but there's definitely a look of concern that she's not taking any effort to mask.]

I would not want you to think there is anything different between us here than there is normally, Yukine. That is, in fact, partly my concern.

[She motions to the other side of the table, and then offers her a cup of tea.]

Sit, and please - explain everything to me. From the top.

... Alright.

[Chris sits across from her, taking the cup of tea.]

It's. Really stupid. I first met Shikyoin when I first got here. She was doing skiing lessons, and I never learned, so I thought I'd take her up. But she was just... so high on herself, it turned into a competition. Once I found my legs I really wanted to beat her.

And I lost, like I said. That's just the start of it, though.

[...

Tsubasa's usually smooth and even demeanor fluctuates and she sighs into her cup as she takes another sip.]

This is not an auspicious beginning, Yukine...

Edited 2018-12-29 01:05 (UTC)

No, it's not. Anyway, a bit later, she gets this big godly promotion, and we egg each other on. It turns into a big argument, and at one point I drop your name... and she knows it. I demanded she tell me, and it just kind of spiraled from there.

[She looks to the side.]

After the Hinamatsuri festival, I tried getting her goat again. I'm not proud of it, and it was stupid and petty, and worst of all, she didn't even seem to care very much. Shikyoin seems to only care about high class stuff, so I gave her this cheap, dumb toy I won at the festival as a "gift"... it didn't turn out like I planned.

[Chris was getting more and more embarassed the longer she continued talking, and by the time she was finished, her head was in her hands.]

God, this is just so dumb. I'm so dumb! This is some petty ass high school drama shit...!

Yes, it is.

[Dumb and petty, that is. She lets out another breath.]

Yukine, as a girl who has come so far from when we met, who has so often sought to better herself... Who bent over backwards to try and be a proper role model to Akatsuki and Tsukuyomi... and who I trust with my life, without question, I'd have expected a little more maturity from. I am well aware you are hot headed, but such petty meanness is ... not like you.

[She frowns and sets her cup down. It clacks with a heavy echo around the mostly empty chamber, even though she hadn't slammed it down.]

At all.

[She looks up at her sharply.] But no one else was here, were they? Besides Elfnein, and a Maria that had died and didn't remember you. In the hours before I met you and Elfnein, I could certainly understand how you may have felt, I think.

Being so far from home after relying on so many people, no matter how nice or friendly those we may have met may be, acclimating to that, trying to come to terms with that can be terrifying.

Loneliness can make one act like a fool. [She looks back down at her reflection flickering in the tea.] I can certainly understand that, even if these are less dangerous circumstances, for the time being. That is the thing though... [She turns her gaze back up to Chris.] Such things and feelings can escalate quickly.

... Maybe you're right. The fact I was also ignoring my own shinki at first, and how lonely he was the whole time, didn't help either, since we feel what they feel, so that didn't help either.

[She stared at the table for a few moments, before sighing.]

But... none of that's an excuse. I can't keep folding in on myself like this when you all aren't around. And I've made a lot of other friends, all on my own, so it just comes off looking even worse...

Edited 2018-12-29 01:32 (UTC)

It does look worse, yes.

[Sorry Chris, you're getting honesty, for the moment.]

Shikyoin is eccentric, but there are quite a few of those in S.O.N.G. Many more others here, too. You and I would have hated one another at one time. For a brief time, we did. If it is not someone who is truly harmful, I feel as though you are projecting your frustrations into something that is just... not you.

[She shakes her head.] With all of this around us, it is important we remain what we are. Which is somewhat selfish on my part, but I need you to be you just as much as you need it.

This situation is petty, but if one continued down that path, you, I - anyone could eventually do something far beyond that which could hurt themselves or those around them. Especially with the power we have. I have a lot more faith in you than that, and I am not going to let you act like that sort of fool while I am here.

[Her expression softens a bit.] And if I was not here... I want to be confident you'll take care of yourself, Yukine. I am only saying this because... It concerns me.

... Senpai...

[Chris stared at her for a moment... before nodding. She looked ashamed, but she also didn't want to look like she was being broken up by it.]

I project a lot of how I feel about myself onto other people. And when it's someone who's honestly really annoying but also good at everything... that brought out the worst in me. I'm going to make every effort I can. If I can't coexist with people civilly, then I'm not giving you much reason to be confident in me like you want to be.

And... she doesn't deserve this. No one does, really. No matter how I feel about them.

Edited 2018-12-29 02:26 (UTC)

[That actually makes Tsubasa smile, and her expression softens further. She looks a bit relieved, actually.]

Yukine... I am confident in you. Honestly, you are much better at this sort of thing than me. You had people tripping over themselves to be friends with you at Lydian. I was... nearly finished with High School at that point. The people I had following me around, besides you all? Were after effects of when I walked around like I owned it, like I was owed it. When I wanted nothing to do with anyone, when I thought I could tackle the world on my own.

It is... a fair bit different, but it is one reason why I wanted to encourage you, then. Or why I'll encourage you, now.

[She pauses, and thinks.] Although, you say you did not know how to ski before? Would it not be then partly to her credit, that you were around her and could learn from observing it and trying to prove yourself?

It may not have been her intent, but there are better things to pull from that.

... Senpai, you don't... you don't have to keep bringing that up! [Her face turns red again.] And you shouldn't sell yourself short! People love you and your music because of the heart you put into it! We both had our struggles, it's not your fault they got solved when you were older than I was!

...

[Chris honestly looks surprised by that. She... she hadn't known how to ski, hadn't she? But then she'd pushed herself, and pulled it off.]

You're. You're right, I didn't. I hadn't thought of that...

[That makes Tsubasa smile a bit more fondly, at least.] But they are your friends too, so. That counts.

[She shakes her head.] I basically lost my childhood and my teenage years, I only got a little bit of that back thanks to Tachibana, Kohinata, and yourself. I'm well aware of that, and it's nothing I can do anything about. It's true, people may have loved my music then but... I am not proud of who I was, then. I can't be, if I wish to go forward.

I at least wanted you to have more of that life than I was able to, even if still for only a little while longer.

[She just nods a little to Chris's realization.]

See? It helps to not look at everything cynically.

[Tsubasa feels proud of herself. She's actually feeling pretty smart!

Life will assuredly ruin that to make her look like an idiot sooner than later, but she's too confident right now to realize that inevitability.]

... It's not like I'm much younger than you, senpai. But... if that's how you feel and you're fine with it, I guess I can't really do much to change it.

[Chris actually manages a small smile.]

Isn't there some Japanese proverb about stones that get more polished by striking against each other? I guess the same principal applies...

[Tsubasa smiles back. Smugly. So assured is she in her confidence at the moment, it's as if blinders have gone up to much else.]

It is not the Senpai's responsibility to want better for those who come after them?

[But, she nods to that.]

Indeed. A rivalry is not a bad thing, Yukine. One generated by anger and negative feelings, however... that is another thing entirely. It's destructive, no matter how important or small the conflict.

Maybe, but... you have your own life too. Don't make this turn into me lecturing you, senpai.

[But she nods, nonetheless, at what Tsubasa says next.]

Alright. That... makes me feel a bit better, at least. Though... it's making me realize something.

[That's where her brain comes screeching to a halt for at least a beat.]

Ah... of course, and I know that. I have! When I'm able, at least. [She'd sure spent a lot of time dealing with the Alchemists and Adam not able to really do anything BUT. Yet, there wasn't really a choice there.] Admittedly, this place throws a wrench in that, anyhow...

[She raises an eyebrow.] What does it make you realize?

Well... why don't we go to the other shore sometime soon, then? Like, just to hang out. Humans don't really notice us there, and it'd be good to be in a place that feels a bit more... normal.

[She pauses to figure out just how to say it, before continuing.]

Rivalry... improving oneself... all that talk made me realize I've never tried to better myself outside of my obligations. Yeah, I've had hobbies, learned stuff on the side, made sure I was good at school, but I never thought about what I'd do for myself. Even when I came here I mostly thought about what I'd need to do to be the best God I could be.

...

And honestly, thinking about it now, with you here, and everything I've found out about what Shikyoin does... I wanna do what mom and dad did. Something with music...

That would honestly be nice, I do not think we've had much time to be "normal" for a little while. Every time we've made the attempt, I think we've been embroiled in some sort of an attack.

[Such as when Tsubasa arrived back in Japan, and they went out for some food, running into Hibiki and Miku and... whoops, Noise.

She listens intently to what else Chris has to say, though.]

Even gods here seem to be trying to make lives for themselves that are as normal as they can manage...

[Her eyes seem to perk up at that last part, though.] That seems like a fairly easy answer then, Yukine. Or at least it will, once I manage to figure out how to do similarly here.

[She smiles. Just. Genuinely, now.] Sing. Just as you did at Lydian.

... Yeah. Well, at least we aren't doing something that seriously tempts fate like holding a concert, right?

[Chris snickers at her own joke... before she turns serious again.]

I don't really know where to start. I've watched what you've done, but you were at the height of your career already by the time we met. But... yeah. Singing. I know that's where I need to start.

Edited 2018-12-30 00:50 (UTC)

[She frowns a little.] Now Yukine, I've had plenty of concerts that have not been a disaster.

[A sip of tea.] Just two that were, and one where everything blew up after.

But, consider this... we are very much in the same position, in this place. In spite of whatever experience I have, I have to make a fresh start. I will sing outside of battle here, but I'm at the starting gate again.

[She sets her cup down and looks her straight in the eyes, before stating with utmost confidence:] There aren't many other people I'd rather have at my side in that, if you're willing.

You do realize that's more than how most concerts tend to end up, right?

... You... you really think I could do that? Sing on your level? Be an idol...?

Mm, perhaps - but given the state of our world, and our line of work, I would say it's still a manageable average.

[At that question though, she gives an immediate answer:] But... you already do sing on my level, Yukine. [She says it like she's explaining that the sky is blue.] Maria's, as well! It is no mistake that you are able to synchronize with the both of us so easily.

[She flashes a smile, and adds casually:] Besides that, it seems a shame to me that the only ones beside us who get to hear your song are our enemies, Yukine. A voice such as yours should be heard by people whose hearts you can touch.

Edited 2019-01-01 06:25 (UTC)

[Chris looks... horribly embarassed by what Tsubasa is saying, but also, something within her... it feels grateful, and also warm at hearing someone talking about her music like that. It's honestly the same kind of duality she often feels, the kind that leaves her heart beating extra hard and her ears burning, and makes friendship and receiving compliments both a struggle and something that can make her heart soar.]

I never... I never thought of my music that way. Seeing you both singing, so hard, with such faith in yourself... I never thought I could be like the both of you. I thought my songs were only for fighting, even after that performance at Lydian...

But. You really think I can do it. You believe in me. You've always believed in me...

[She looks up at Tsubasa, tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.]

Th. Thank you... Thank you, Tsubasa-senpai...

[Tsubasa is at least a little bit surprised. She hadn't brought Chris here to make her cry, all admonishment aside. Though, she also seems happy - but one thing in particular sticks out...]

In much the same way that Tachibana does not wish to hurt people with her fists, I could never thing of songs as something merely for battle. Especially not for someone who truly loves music...

[She pauses, and then smiles a bit wider, and for Tsubasa looking surprisingly mischievous.]

I see you can use my name, though.

And I do love music. I really do. It just... feels so good to be able to finally admit it, and that I want to make it.

[At her next comment, Chris smiles uneasily. She's still incredibly embarrassed, but her choice of words there wasn't an accident.]

W-well, why not? I use everyone else's now... I figured... f-figured it was time for it, you know? Don't get used to it like it's gonna be an everyday thing, though!

[That smugness washes off Tsubasa's face more or less, and she gives her a nod.] I... understand how you feel. Even as I was singing, it took quite a bit more for me to ... feel as though I would be comfortable making that my way forward. Eventually, one day. When we no longer have to fight, and I truly can lay down my sword.

[...and the smugness comes right back as she grins wider.]

Ah, of course - why ever would I think that, Yukine?

[Chris nods. Maybe... maybe one day, she and Tsubasa could sing on the same stage at home too. The idea of all those eyes on her, though, feels intimidating, and she realizes she has a long way to go yet.

... But something else sticks out to her from the second part of what Tsubasa said.]

You... you know. You could always refer to me by my given name. I've never once heard you call me "Chris", you know.

[That actually gets Tsubasa, and she stares for a long moment.

She hadn't really... thought about that before, really. She was using her name, or any of their names, wasn't she? Their... family names anyway. A girl raised to originally covet her family and destiny above all else.

She refers to Maria and Kanade by their given names, but they were peers and partners on stage.]

I... suppose that is true...

[She frowns.]

I truthfully thought I was being respectful. Kanade and Maria were colleagues on stage in addition to being my friends...

[She tilts her head to one side, and gives Chris an honest look.] Does that... bother you at all?

Edited 2019-01-04 05:06 (UTC)

Well, no. It's just... we're changing things a lot, and I already made an effort to use your name, and...

[She smiles nervously.]

I think I'd like to hear it, at least once. It'd... it'd help me feel like I belong on the same stage as you.

Hmm...

[She shifts a bit where she's seated.]

If you say something like that, I expect you to take it very seriously then, ah- Chris.

[Chris wears a smile as Tsubasa acquiesces to her request. Once she says her name... well...

You know how in a cartoon, when someone turns red from embarassment, it just seems to rise up from within them like the mercury in a thermometer?

That seems to be exactly what's happening with Chris.]

A-ah...

[She takes a deep breath, and nods quietly.] That. That felt good. Thank you, senpai.

[Tsubasa notices her reaction, and is wondering why she, herself, feels more than a little embarrassed. Maybe it's just that she hadn't thought of her friends feelings there before, all while having lectured Chris on the very same thing... sure. That was it. She smiles nonetheless.]

Good, I am glad.

We're on an even playing field, but I'll hold you to it to stand on the same place as I plan to.

Consider that as something to work towards, hm, Yukine?

[Look she's not mean but she's not going to let her have it for good THAT easily.]

[Chris nods, her embarrassment fading with each passing second. This is still gonna be on her mind later, but... she's gotta deal with what's in front of her right now.]

Yeah, of course... senpai. I won't disappoint you.

[Though she has to admit... she's a bit sad to go back to normal like this. But that can be yet another thing about their relationship she can keep to herself.]

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[Closed] The principal's office, so to speak.

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