thenearshore | Closed ♔ Shikyoin Hibiki's Apollo Prayer Wall Special Medley feat. The Far Shore

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Closed ♔ Shikyoin Hibiki's Apollo Prayer Wall Special Medley feat. The Far Shore

Who: Hibiki & various other parties
When: June (after the 7th)
Where: The Near Shore
What: A God of Fortune receives many prayers. While thoroughly satisfying her supplicants is her style, certain aspects of their queries are...beneath her. How fortunate she has all these ff. Frksff. Frr. Acquaintances.

[ I. For Ginia ]

Premiering a major entertainment juggernaut like PriPirates: Pirate Gang of the Puniverse requires some level of promotion. The Fujisaki corporation is sponsoring the production side of things, and is also in the process of forming a tie-in campaign where the characters promote its department stores ("The treasures of the puniverse....only at Fujisaki"). But a god never forgets it's themselves the people must worship, and that means occasionally making an appearance from on high so others may bask in their glory.

Yes. Even on....variety programming.

And thus it is that Hibiki, accompanied by her latest CelePara recruit, finds herself standing in a studio, cameras rolling, surrounded by -

"Surprise! We've switched up today's schedule from an interview to a candid feature! Everything in this room is edible but one object. Can you find it with just your mouth?!"

"....Of course." Hibiki sniffs, tossing her head. "Such a hidden treasure can be located by intuition alone."

"Ohh!" The hosts clap their hands. The audience leans forward.

But only Ginia might notice that Hibiki's neck is sweating.

[ II. For Waver & Iskandar ]

"How does one....read this?"

Hibiki is cross-legged on a worshipper's floor, the contents of a large flat box with the name of a certain Predish bargain furniture manufacturer spread out all around her. She's got the instructions out. And is looking at them upside down.

Truly, bringing along an accomplished mage and the King of Conquerors was a wise decision. Even a genius will require all the assistance they can receive!

[ III. For Chinatsu ]

After teleporting Chinatsu to her movie-theater shrine, Hibiki has vanished again with the promise of providing "suitable transportation herself this time", so that they both may patrol the neighborhood reporting loud noises at night keeping people from sleeping. The limousine is displeasing to this young lady, she has learned. So is the helicopter. And therefore probably also the carriage. (Why does no one like the carriage?! This puniverse requires revolution.)

But! They require something speedy, so they may locate the source of the noise as it occurs! There happens to be an extremely fitting vehicle for just such situations - and one which might appeal to Chinatsu's less-than-lofty transportation standards, as well!

Thus it is that a purple motorcycle rolls up to the curb just as Chinatsu might start wondering whether Hibiki forgot about the prayer, and a helmet is tossed her way.

"I've kept you waiting." Hibiki pushes up her helmet visor: she's kitted out in a full cycling bodysuit. "Now, hold me tightly."

[ IV. For Judar ]

Judar will discover a spygoat staa-lking him one day, bearing an envelope with an invitation to follow said goat back to her temple gates. It looks up at him with big pleading eyes as he reaches the part of the invitation about RSVP being required. Also, about fitting attire being provided by the host.

You'll come, right? The goat cannot speak, but it's trembling with maa-nticipation. Maa-ster has worked so hard to pick a very special surprise praa-yer for this person, so that her traa-ining may be a complete success!! It's this way, it's this way!

Won't you please follow??

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........................... hahaha... oh god, she's like them. Granted his nerdly soul is in love with books and fashion and all the fine points of culture he can experience with Iskandar, and maaaaaaaybe shooting a target full of arrows (listen, this is very therapeutic to him, despite that first bowstring to the face). But give him a video game and he just won't stop until the game is not only done, but he's deconstructed every mechanic of the game. He's ended up snoring on top of Iskandar often because of this habit.

Admittedly no judgement is coming from Waver on this score. Yet. Judgement is always possible because Waver Velvet is Waver Velvet.

"We could always use more hobbies, in other words." As he screws in, with Iskandar's help in holding the pieces together, more of the puzzle. "Admittedly, I'll never say no to tea, but variety is the spice of life. Wouldn't you agree?"

He may have doomed both of them. But it is a knowing dooming as Iskandar would likely have fun on television, and Waver would be happy to see him having fun, and that's what's important here.

Hibiki nods to Waver. "Of course, novelty may spark inspiration in times of malaise. Your curiosity is an honor."

That last part was mostly to Iskandar - the great Paraxander deserves respect, even when conquering Sweprish furniture instead of the greater portion of Europara, Pasia, etc. Yet Waver's comment does....intrigue her. Could he possibly be implying...?

Well, it benefits her more to suppose he's angling for an expansion of his own world than offering a critique of her own. After all, her own is beyond reproach. Thus.

"If your curiosity is sufficiently piqued, you'd be welcome to accompany me later. I'll show you a genius's schedule du jour."

Hibiki, that's English and Prench toge--oh, forget it. She certainly seems to have forgotten (or else is deliberately choosing to ignore) that she's not exactly...helping...with the current project.

Iskandar would like to be sure Hibiki knows the words she is using. Because certainly, he does not. Meanwhile, all the small talk has obscured the fact that the aforementioned current project is stopped looking like an unidentified mass of wood. It actually looks like it would be a usable piece of furniture. They are truly getting somewhere. The miracle!

And Tour de Hibiki? Count him interested. He can suspect that her day looks totally different than his. Iskandar can't imagine Hibiki running at the break of the dawn on the beach like he does. Actually, the idea of Hibiki running is a little alien. She can stroll and definitely she can sashay... but running? That almost sounds too plebeian for Perfect Beauty Knight.

"It is piqued indeed. Thank you for your invitation."

Does she train with the sword? As far as he remembers, she has carried one on several occassions. Iskandar is suddenly very interested in how good a swordsman... err... swordswoman? Hibiki is.

May be implying, may not be implying... it is a Mystery. Likewise, a Mystery how things are quickly coming together once the instructions have been deciphered. Of course, they may hit that snag of the one missing piece. Such is the way of assembling furniture from Ikea.

"I'm intrigued as well. Thank you."

He really doubts her day looks like his, as his starts with him literally being dragged by Iskandar out of bed and to a run, still mostly asleep. (A morning person he is not and the bed and Iskandar's body heat is comfy). Hibiki does not have the air of someone needing to go through the conditioning he has to. She also doesn't seem the kind to want to go diving into a pile of books like a fox into a pile of snow.

Seems too mundane for the likes of Hibiki.

Hibiki smirks. Company, now and then, isn't a poor change of pace - when offered on one's own terms, to the right sort of people. "Then, I'll prepare an escort on a suitable date."

You're both going to be stalked by spygoats with invitations on a day Hibiki considers ideal. This is your destipri. Make your prieace with it.

Speaking of "prieces", though....

Hibiki frowns. Looks at the furniture. It seems to be coming together, but, her elite sense of style detects something amiss....

What is it? What about the furniture distresses her so? (More than....the usual when confronted with anything not bespoke, anyway.)

Something is wrong here, but what can it be?????

"Excellent! Then we're all set!"

The spygoats, however, might find it quite difficult to locate Iskandar when the said ideal day shall come. Apart from the very intense exercise regime, he doesn't have a set schedule. Venturing alone into the Temple grounds is also fraught with many dangers. Like encountering the roaming sheep. Then there's the Temple itself ...

Iskandar spares no thought to the plight of poor goats.

What he does though, is to survey their masterpiece a little more critically than before. The frame piece looks mostly complete if slightly wobbly but the back is definitely too short. Unless it's the artistic choice of the designer for the top shelf to be open on both ends with no support from the back. It would be a little unstable if that was indeed so. Is this piece really from this model?

He points at the empty spot.

"Hm, Waver? You're sure this hole is supposed to be there?"

Would they even get past Eirene? His soulless might hug them and steal them for herself (where is she and the goats, anyway? They went for refreshments; why are they not back?) for her cute animal army. The temple cranes are already eating out of her hand (and will obey her commands to destroy anyone who threatens her god).

Alas those poor goats!

"No? Is that really all we've been given?" Waver stares at the hole as if to demand an explanation for the piece's absence. Then he slaps his face in utter frustration. "For fuck's sake. They've cocked up and forgotten to pack a bloody piece. Typical Ikea."

Winding up to rant about idiocy in three... two...

There is at least one goat back, because it has just served Hibiki a cup of tea (and has enough for maa-verybody, if there are other taa-kers). All the better for that teacup to rattle in Hibiki's hand, attention caught by the sudden turn the conversation has just taken.

"...Forgotten?" she asks, disturbed but doubting. "Impossible...."

So she leans in for a better look. Nothing properly exists without Shikyoin Hibiki opining about it, so she feels certain that under a genius's gaze, the solution shall absolutely -

Hibiki takes a good, hard look at the Ikea furniture.

Her teacup, falling from suddenly-numbed fingers, smashes to the ground.

Teacup smashed with sharp pieces of porcelain flying everywhere and the tea spilling on the floor, the furniture assembly instructions and the unfinished object.

It's his luck that nothing lands on Iskandar who just raises an eyebrow. All the drama just because of one missing ... Then he just nods. Right. It's Hibiki. She must be horrified by the revelation that there are things in her vicinity that just lack a proper decorum. Things that are not ... gasp... perfect.

Usually, he would just laugh at such unnecessary drama but one does not laugh at fellow gods from the same pantheon in their presence. That would be rude. Though the truth is, he doesn't care about being rude, he just likes Hibiki. She looks mortified enough without him making fun of her frustration.

"I'm sure we can find some replacement for it." He looks at his phone to check the time. "There should be a home improvement store open at this hour."

"Or Ikea itself. They should have the missing part on hand."

Good thing there's no carpet nearby and the floor's just hardw--- Geez. Hope that's treated well. What numbered piece was it? These instructions are soggy. Excuse the glowing hand. Just got to salvage this... mess. Best he can.

... it's on his clothes. Goat, after cleaning this mess, he needs a cuppa.

"I'm sure customer service would be happy to remedy this." Somewhere retail workers are suddenly tempted to pray, because their irritated customer sense is going off in a dangerous way. "Is there a bill hanging around here? We could go with it and fetch it from the warehouse section of the store without paying for more."

Not to worry, Waver: the goat is waa-y ahead of you and is already wheeling away to fetch refills for maa-veryone. Its maa-ster, however....

"We've come this far only to be thwarted by incompetence........?"

Yeah, she's still back at that particular fact. But, fortunately(?), she catches up quickly - going so far as to leap over Iskandar and Waver's perfectly sensible plan, scrounging from it only the words "customer service" to create a Grand Plan of her own.

So she turns to the goat, returning with tea. "Fetch the direct line to my complaint center! I'm overwhelming their customer support!"

Maa-ck! The goat looks around for a place to deposit the tea. Waver, Iskandar, tea??? It has to go fetch a very special phone. That reaches an entire call center that Hibiki has hired to sit around waiting for her to be mad at people.

Why wouldn't she do a thing like that?

Iskandar blinks.

He mindlessly takes the tea from the fear-stricken goat, downs it in one swift motion, realises it's not alcohol and just ... sighs. That would be so much easier if she'd only let them go to the shop. Probably faster too. But that's Hibiki. Easier and faster are not her priorities.

"Right. Just don't forget to tell them which part we're actually missing when you'll be heaping your righteous indignation on them."

Exactly! Why wouldn't she? There's nothing stopping her and even if it were... that's the most Apollo thing that can be done in this situation.
If he had to yell at people he'd definitely prefer to do it in person.

Waver blinks.

Sure yelling would be very therapeutic, he planned on doing some growling himself, but in person. So they can't get away and there can be browbeating of management into discounts and refunds and all sorts of compensation for time wasted. But Waver's impressed she has a complaint center - in a you gotta be kidding me - no, that's Hibiki - sorta way.

A complaint center is just her style.

(TEA! Thank you, goat. He's going to down that in one go.)

"And we want a refund or at least a discount on any future purchases. That too."

Might as well throw that in there. Save the follower some cash in the long run.

"WHY WOULD ANYONE REPEATEDLY PATRONIZE SUCH A LOCA--"

But she's interrupted (for the best) by the spygoat in question attempting to bring the phone to Hibiki. Except it's apparently a laa-ndline - a fancy, purple, old-fashioned rotary phone. And there's no plug for it in this room, and the cord only goes so far. The goat makes it haa-lfway into the doorway before its tether pulls taut.

Hibiki stares at it. Huffs. Strides towards it with a great sense of dignified and noble purpose. "I'll be in the hall."

Of her OWN ACCORD. Not because she's being forced to PARTICIPATE IN A GOAT GAA-G. Obviously.

Waver and Iskandar will at least have something resembling alone time to form and act on any alternative plans of action while Hibiki places her phone call. Or they can listen to Hibiki give instructions to an entire room of employees she has hired to sit around at phone banks waiting for her to be mad at people. All sorts of avenues are open to the divine!

Iskandar just stares at the scene cup in hand eyebrows rising. Only after Hibiki makes her dramatic exit he puts the cup down. Then he surveys the state of the unlucky furniture. It’s in advanced stages of completion, it can stand on its own and even serve a purpose though the two top shelves would most probably be less of use than they should.

If all fails they can make do without the missing part. When you can’t have what you want, you must do with what you have. In truth though, he always gets what he wants and would not accept anything less himself. So he does understand Hibiki’s ire, he’s just more worried about the execution of her master plan.

“You think she’ll actually be able to get anything done?”

He looks at Waver.

“Aside from making herself feel better?”

He won’t deny. The goat dragging the landline with an old phone attached was hilarious - where did it get it from? - ... but not exactly solving their problem.

Waver's cup clinks decisively in his saucer before he puts it down and he sighs loud and long. True, the follower could get by with the furniture like that, but honestly if he were that follower, he'd be raising hell, because that's not what he paid for and god fucking damn he has a budget and buying spare parts takes out of that.

"Well. Aside from a lot of people looking to get drunk after she's through with them? Not really."

One moment, rubbing head. Sometimes other prayers come in at strange times. Like now. A follower just wants this lady to stop yelling at h-- OH GEEZ. WHY. HIBIKI.

"We're going to need to step in here."

Meanwhile, out on the hall, instructing her call center full of people Hibiki intends to unleash upon the unsuspecting customer service hotline is not going as she had imagined it would. This was supposed to be a short call, for one. She gives an order. The order is faithfully observed. Justice is done, the offense against her follower assuaged, and once more all is as it should be in the world.

So why is this happening? Why can no one....understand what she's saying?

"Prikea." Her back is to the door, her shoulders taut as she holds the phone. The spygoat upon whose platter the rotary rests is waa-iting paa-tiently. It suspects it knows what the problem is, but lacks a mouth. So it simply waa-its. "It's a Sweprish institution! Why do you claim not to have the number?! Locate it and register my complaint, immediately!"

"Miss Shikyoin, we're all Googling it. None of us can find a "Prikea"--"

"I ACCEPT NO SUCH RESPONSE!!"

Hibiki pulls out her tablet and balances her phone on one epaulette, shoulder slightly lifted. "This is absurd. I'm hiring a call center to complain about this call center!"

The goat is staring in silent agony at the furniture-building room. Someone, anyone.

HELP.

"... I'm grabbing the bill and making a quick teleport. Before she explodes in frustration." Waver blinks as a shout echoes out from the hallway. "... er."

Time for decisive action before things get messy. Eirene at last makes her entrance along with the goats as Waver pushes himself to his feet to go fetch the receipt. She takes one look at the situation in the hall, Waver and Iskandar's faces, and at the poor goat, and promptly cracks open the first of the wine bottles she's brought and pours a generous glass in a very convenient goblet either she or one of the goats brought.

(Both wine and glass are indeed top class. What else could be with Hibiki's spygoats maa-ttending in this thread?)

"Iskandar-sama. For you." Eirene bows as she presents the wine. "My lord, shall I hold off in pouring you a glass?"

"Just for now, Eirene, thank you," Waver says as he thrusts - AHA! - the sought after piece of paper in the air. Found it! "I will definitely be wanting one when I get back."

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Closed ♔ Shikyoin Hibiki's Apollo Prayer Wall Special Medley feat. The Far Shore

NP!

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feel free to have the missing piece be as large or as small as seems funny

wobble wobble wobble

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this is canon, except the call center is in her house. IN HER HOUSE.

Re: this is canon, except the call center is in her house. IN HER HOUSE.

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