007 | Clean Up Your Act

[godsoffortune]

Who: Everyone!
What: Spring cleaning
When: All day April 15
Where: All around the Heavens
Summary: The Heavens don't like things being cluttered, so it's time to clean up a little bit.







Main Hall

While the main hall of the Heavens seems spotlessly clean at all times, that's not the case at all. In fact, it's been at least a decade since the last time they actually cleaned everything out properly. There are a lot of hidden closets and back rooms that have layers of dust and dozens of boxes filled with nothing but junk. Who knows, though! You might find something interesting and useful in there along with all the garbage.

Suprises

Unfortunately, some of the older temples on the Far Shore seem to have some interesting surprises tucked away, ranging from cursed artifacts all the way to magical creatures locked up in long-forgotten rooms. You are free to be creative with this as a way to get your characters into trouble while cleaning.

Complimentary Dinner

After all of your hard work, you deserve to have some tasty food and refreshing beverages. So the Heavens have provided that for you, so that you can wind down after a long day. It's not as fancy as the banquets they often put on, but there is a nice array of food and drinks for everyone to enjoy.

Counselling

As usual, there is a white-robed shinki bearing the gold chrysanthemum of Amaterasu sitting at a table in the Main Hall. There is a small sign that denotes her as the counselling shinki. Anyone is welcome to approach her, and she will smile serenely at anyone passing by as well.



In Summary:

• Clean up your home
• Help clean others' homes
• Get the main hall clean too!
• Hope no hidden magic jumps out
• Seek counselling if you need it
• Enjoy your complimentary dinner
• Have fun~

Comments

[redotiertwo]

[Davesprite can't help but quirk a brow at that, giving a slight prompting motion with one hand.]

Okay, go on, because I'm still expecting balls-out mindfuck alternate dimensional shit here and I guess what I'm really getting at is how many more birds are we talking when we say a lot more birds.

[Because that's a whole existential category all on its own, probably. More birds, bird society, she's secretly a bird in a cunning human disguise...the possibilities are pretty much endless.]

[talkbirdytome]

[She shrugs.]

Where I come from birds are the dominant species on earth. There are still humans, just not as many.

[It seems like her situation is really rare. A lot of people here came from different worlds, but humans seems to have done better in most other worlds.]

[redotiertwo]

[Yeah, that's weird enough to ping even his almost nonexistent weird sensors, because when he thinks of things capable of being dominant species, birds don't rank even close to the top of that list.

Though it's only a faint show of emotion, he does look a little incredulous when he replies.]

So you're saying that somehow, through some complete fuck-up of nature or humans screwing themselves over like they do pretty much all the time, birds made it to the top of the world. "Tiny winged assholes who fly in your windows and pick through your garbage like it's the best five-star joint in town" birds.

[talkbirdytome]

You got it. The second way, if it matters.

[Humans were the ones who started that war after all.]

And they're not tiny. I mean, birds are shorter than humans on average but they're not tiny.

[redotiertwo]

[It doesn't really, but he just kind of shakes his head at that. It's probably best not to get into the complex web of many ways humans are capable of fucking themselves up.]

Okay, maybe tiny's kinda harsh, but most birds go from like this big, [He holds his hands no more than a few centimetres from each other before moving them to about half a foot or so apart.] to this big if you're talking stuff you're actually ever gonna see in a normal day. There's bigger ones and the weird flightless guys with comically huge legs, but you don't judge birds on that scale unless you work with that shit on the regular.

[talkbirdytome]

Well... the most common birds around are various species of doves. They're usually about.....

[She raises a hand to indicate a height just a tad higher than her shoulder.]

...this tall. I mean there are other types of birds around. And they're not all the same size. But humans vary in size too.

[redotiertwo]

[Davesprite's just thinking they're getting back into familiar territory when she says "doves", except then she indicates that height and he's right back to a flat "what the actual fuck" expression again.]

Uh. We have doves too, but they're like, maybe one fifteenth that size if I'm being generous. If you've seen pigeons here, which you should have because they're fucking everywhere, basically those but white and without all the seediness. The only birds with that kind of height game are the huge flightless ones that nobody even sees anyway.

[Outside of zoos, at least, but he doubts she'd know what that is.]

[talkbirdytome]

You mean rock doves. My best friend is one of those.

[There are many different kinds of doves.]

I mean, they used to look like that in my world too. I've seen old pictures. But that was a long time ago.

[redotiertwo]

[Okay, at least they're not on completely different pages here, but Davesprite's still needing a moment to piece this together because this is somehow even weirder than the whole gods and spirits deal he's just been booted into.]

So you're saying that after conquering the world with their unspeakable combat skills and impeccably groomed feathers, birds just started straight-up gaining human-tier height for no real reason, because obviously they hadn't proved their superiority enough by putting shame to the names of supervillains everywhere.

[At least, that's what he's getting from this explanation.]

[talkbirdytome]

[She laughs. He paints an interesting picture. It's... not too far off actually.]

It was more like the other way around. They got bigger and smarter first. Then they won the war.

[redotiertwo]

[Well, that makes...half more sense, maybe. There's still no explanation he's seeing as to why they got any bigger.]

So at least humanity can say they didn't go down to flocks of scavenging, swooping assholes dropping the lowest kind of payload from on high, score one for us I guess.

[talkbirdytome]

[A shrug.]

We definitely didn't go down without a fight. But we were also the ones who started that war, so a lot of birds think we got what we deserved.

[redotiertwo]

I'm pretty sure that's industry standard for any war in human history, birds involved or not. Even in ones where it's pretty much like trying to have the "who shot first" argument with all the online forum carnage that leaves behind.

[When it comes to humans and wars, things go to shit even more quickly than they usually do with internet arguments.]

[talkbirdytome]

Yeah, the winners sure do write the history. But in this case, we did try to wipe out all the birds in the world with a genetically engineered virus, so...

[She shrugs again. The human scientists of that era made some questionable decisions. She'll never understand sciency types.]

[redotiertwo]

[While he can't say that doesn't sound like a pretty human thing to do, it also makes little enough sense that he has to backtrack again.]

Wouldn't that have completely fucked up the world even if they did pull that certifiably fucknuts insane plan off? The food chain and ecosystems and shit are things that don't play nice with mass extinction by assholes who didn't plan ahead.

[talkbirdytome]

They did it because they thought it was the only way to stop the spread of the bird flu. It just didn't work out how they thought it would.

[redotiertwo]

[Jegus, these people are sounding more and more incompetent by the minute, and he has to outright shake his head there.]

So instead of, you know, trying to make a fucking vaccine or cure, they just figured they'd unleash the actual biblical plague on all of aviankind. Seems like a sound and legit reaction.

[talkbirdytome]

[Hiyoko shrugs and shakes her head.]

I think it was pretty stupid too. But what's done is done.

[redotiertwo]

Yeah, not much point crying over generations old spilt milk that's already long spawned its spectacular mouldy fruits.

[He shrugs as well. It's her issue to deal with, so probably not his place to fuss too much.]

[talkbirdytome]

Yup. No point dwelling in the past. I'm more of a forward thinking girl.

[Honestly there's usually too much going on in her present for the past to be a concern.]