thenearshore | [ Closed ] I'm a little teapot short and stout

[The answer to many things in life is skulking about, and this night is no exception. Roxas is almost eerily still next to Jakob, a short black pillar unto himself, simply watching this person they're supposed to help.

Though he hears his shinki's assessment, he's quiet for a few moments longer, watching the rise and fall of the mortal's chest. It seems his mind must be on something, and several moments later it finally becomes clear just what that is]

I didn't know people could whistle through their nose...

[Who knew?]

[ What do you mean people aren’t supposed to find comfort in his shadowy, deathlike presence? ]

Yes, milord. [ He’s going to take this dead seriously, like everything else about his very first prayer. ]

I believe it is due to a combination of rather unspeakable olfactory processes. Such is the bane of mortality.

[It seems inconvenient, needing to breathe...

But as a being that was never programmed with allergies, he doesn't entirely understand what they do about this. So after another lingering look at the person they're supposed to be helping, he turns his attention back to Jakob]

So what should we do?

[Spotlight's on you, Jakob, master of breathing without whistling]

[ Can’t help what’s been beaten into him by that damnable Gunter, after all…

Whipping out a folder, Jakob rifles through the medical records he’d…borrowed from the man’s doctor. ]

Healing him should be a simple enough matter, milord, however… [ Give him a moment to translate all this modern doctor jargon shit it’s taking him a while— ]

It appears that even his doctor has not been able to locate the cause of his ailment. Ergo, he is likely to suffer a relapse before long. Nevertheless, shall we proceed with the healing, Lord Roxas, or would you prefer to go the extra mile for this mortal?

[Roxas listens patiently to Jakob's explanation, watching the rise and fall of the man's chest still yet. His breathing seems labored, somewhat shallow for all that whistling, wheezing noise he's producing]

...The job's not really done if we haven't solved the problem.

[The answer is just that simple. If they only stave off the effects for a time without getting to the root cause, then it's something another god may have to address later. And that's just not acceptable in his mind.

They're here to fix something, and surely it's within their means]

We'd just need to figure out what's making him ill, right?

Yes, milord. [ That's his master, always being so nice and thinking ahead and stuff. ]

The doctor has ruled out seasonal allergies, his neighbor's cat, and…hmm…doing his taxes. [ He puts the file away. ]

Hmph, this document is not quite as thorough as to his daily habits, I'm afraid. Perhaps if I clean his house top to bottom…

People develop new allergies all the time, right?

[He asks, but he's clearly looked it up on his phone. Still, Jakob would surely know something like this. Roxas will forever assume that taller men know more things than he does.

...Which isn't an unsafe assumption given his minimal real-world experience]

If cleaning would help, what should I do?

[Jakob's the expert there, and he can't just make him do all the work, or he wouldn't really be answering a prayer]

[ Oh, the cleaning staff at the Northern Fortress probably suffered from a lot of mold and dust allergies, but Jakob can only nod gravely with his slightly more than minimal world experience at his master’s inquiry. ]

Why, you needn’t lift a finger, milord. Cleaning is what I do best, and I am perfectly capable of attending to your every need in the meantime.

[Jakob really does seem to want to do everything... But that wouldn't really be fair to him...

How should Roxas handle such a matter diplomatically]

If I've got to need something... I need directions.

[He gestures at the room for indication]

So I can help out.

[Somebody else here also has a need to be useful]

You…You want to help? [ He immediately stifles a look of shock. ] Oh dear.

[ What if he sucks at it—as most of the nobility tends to? What if he ends up creating more work by trying to help? What if Lord Roxas injures himself—

Some orders (as he imagines this one is) really ought to be denied. ]

Milord, I am sure you are… [ An idea comes to him then— ] …you are undoubtedly most capable of supervising! You merely need to tell me where I ought to be cleaning.

[ Which is pretty much everywhere. Genius. Lord Roxas practically has to do nothing. ]

[Now this is a fine and dandy thing in theory, except Roxas can see one problem with the suggestion. Well, other than the fact that it still sounds like Jakob would be the one doing all the work, and he wouldn't be contributing at all.

And he's quite sure his shinki-butler doesn't need instructions on cleaning...]

How can I supervise if I don't know as much as you do?

[This seems like a pretty big flaw in the plan]

Oh, well, I— [ Curses, he thought his plan was foolproof!! Okay, okay; new plan: ]

What I mean to say is—you might find watching me work very educational, milord. Er, not that you would ever have to trouble yourself with such menial tasks.

Couldn't you just give me instructions? Something like me should be able to handle that much.

[Jakob he promises he knows how to follow instructions okay]

[ SIGH. He’s got no choice does he ]

But…milord…have you ever cleaned house before?

No, it wasn't necessary where I came from for anyone to do that. But I can learn, can't I?

[Surely as an expert on this sort of thing, because his understanding of a butler is specialization in particular tasks, Jakob can get him in the right track. So Roxas thinks]

Of course, but… [ He’s so conflicted about all this. It would be in poor taste to go against orders on his first prayer, yet at the same time…they might be opening Pandora’s Box here.

And find it all dusty and moth-eaten on the inside. ]

Very well, milord. But as cleaning is a very precise art, you will have to begin with the basics. Perhaps…you can do the dusting…

[Roxas is perfectly willing to accept this much. At least Jakob is willing to give him something to do other than watch him, which means he can contribute in an actual, meaningful manner]

Alright.

[And next comes the most obvious and elementary of questions]

What does dusting entail?

Oh…gods… [ he mutters under his breath, his mind suddenly full of dread. ]

Er…this. [ He holds up a feather duster he’d managed to dig out from this guy’s personal effects. It looks relatively unused, with a shiny handle and perky feathers.

Makes him wonder if dust allergies are actually the problem here, but hey. ]

You sweep the dust away from the furniture, like so… [ He passes said duster over the top of a dresser, still sort of not believing that he’s actually doing this.

Hopefully Roxas will give up very quickly, but he can’t be optimistic. ]

So you just brush everything with it?

[That looks simple enough. Easier than fighting Heartless or ayakashi, certainly...

But Roxas does find that he has one question, as he observes this]

Where does the dust go?

[Sweeping like that doesn't just push it around, does it?]

Only the things that do not seem valuable or easily breakable, milord. [ He feels that he has to make a point of that…not that there are a lot of priceless antiques just waiting around to be knocked over around here. ]

But once you are done with your task, milord, I will sweep them away posthaste. Dust allergies are also relatively common among the mortal populace.

[ A beat. ]

If this proves to be the cause of his illness, I might need to recommend him a good housekeeper, as he is far too slovenly in his current living arrangements.

So it might be the dust making him sick...

[Roxas casts a ponderous glance toward the sick man, evaluating this possibility. If that's truly the problem, it should be one that they can easily resolve through Jakob's methods. Curing this man is top priority, as it's their mission]

Okay. Can I start then?

[This seems like something he's perfectly capable of doing, and Jakob is clearly well-versed in busting dust]

It would appear so—or at least, I imagine the doctor had not been able to fully inquire into his cleaning habits.

[ Well, better the dust than ayakashi, he guesses. But he places that duster reverently upon Roxas’s hands. ]

Please do be careful, milord. Good housekeeping is a perilous affair.

[Roxas accepts the duster with all due gravity, taking a few moments for some practice brushing at empty air. He's not bad at imitating Jakob's gesture, although there's a stiffness about it that screams of that very thing. Imitation]

I'll be careful.

[He heads for the nearest flat, dusty surface and gets to work, avoiding anything that looks fragile as instructed]

[ There’s no missing the fact that he’s not quite at ease with the chore. Jakob has to pause from trying to change the bedsheets without its occupant noticing to watch Roxas closely. Just in case.

He can’t help feeling a little nervous. Lord Roxas might be a very neat individual, but there’s no telling what might happen in his inexperience… ]

[Roxas' progress in dusting is slow but steady. He takes pause now and then to move items he deems 'breakable' aside, replacing them after he's swept the dust away. It's slow going, but he's obviously paying attention to details...because that's what Jakob does.

Eventually he moves on from a coffee table over to a dresser, still working around and temporarily moving objects in order to get at the dust]

[ He’s so careful…so methodical…Jakob might weep with joy at what a good student his master is. With time, he might even come to regret it. ]

You have made quite an effort, milord. [ Okay, maybe he’s exaggerating a little, but… ]

I must say, it’s truly inspiring to see you work…

[Roxas pauses, setting down a vase he'd moved aside to get at the patch of desk space underneath it. Once he's sure that it's properly placed and not going to fall over or anything of the sort, he straightens and turns to regard Jakob]

Your instructions were specific.

[Which is to say, he got a very clear idea of what the task involved]

And you do these things at the temple all the time...

[Jakob works very hard. This is a fact]

[ Ah, so he’s being watched even as he works—or competes with the robots for the chores, anyway—explains the odd prickling sensation at the back of his neck whenever he goes about it, come to think of it… ]

I can do no less for you, milord. [ He’ll try to hold back his elation and be dignified. ] Would you care for refreshments now that your task is over, by the way?

[Roxas can tell, at least, that Jakob seems happy. As might come as no surprise to others, he doesn't know exactly why it is, but...it's good if his shinki can be. They deserve that.

Jakob does, even if he doesn't seem to understand it]

How about after we're done here? Then we won't have to hurry.

Of course, milord. [ He’s just happy that he gets to hang out with Roxas, tbh. Well that, and do all the sweeping, the rest of the dusting, the organizing, the reupholstering…

Because of course he’s still hard at work as they chat, and all that remains to him is to tuck the patient in fresh sheets. The guy seems to be breathing easier already. ]

I shall be able to prepare a more suitable repast for you at the temple.

Is there anything else I should be doing?

[Jakob's taken on the lion's share of the work again... Roxas probably shouldn't be surprised, with how slow he was in dusting.

He just didn't want to generate even more work]

[ Well, he’s shaved like five minutes off of the time it takes Jakob to do those chores, so it’s just as well. It’s not like anyone can fuck up dusting anyway, short of breaking the furniture.

But at that inquiry he gets to his knees, that he may be properly within reach of his master. ]

We have but to relieve this man of his current symptoms, milord. [ And maybe give him some supernatural advice on the merits of proper housekeeping, but hey. It’s vessel time. ]

[Roxas watches him for a few moments in ponderous silence before he registers why Jakob is kneeling. He's done this before, and he might well do it again, yet it always makes him pause. Maybe people in his world just like to kneel...

This time it seems to be a prompt, and he knows that Jakob has healing abilities when he's in his vessel form. It's incidentally why Roxas doesn't use healing spells around him. He can understand wanting to feel useful and functional, and Jakob is a good shinki. Butler. Butler-shinki]

Right. [He nods, lifting a hand so he can catch his shinki when he changes] Chaki.

[ Hey, given Roxas’s stature kneeling is sort of a necessity whether or not Jakob means it in a worshipful way, anyhow. ]

Oh, gods. [ says he very very quietly as he shifts form, the supernatural act of it feeling quite odd to him—he knows what it’s like, in some fashion, to change himself according to his master’s whims, but this…this’ll take some getting used to.

When a nice little teapot falls onto Roxas’s hand it does so with a gasp. ]

Er, very good, milord.

[With his free hand, Roxas...pats Jakob's lid. He is a teapot after all, but he doesn't see anything wrong with the gesture as he steps closer to their patient. It takes some getting used to, having his shinki heal people, but he poises his vessel form over the sleeping man all the same]

Is this close enough?

[Best that he makes sure, so he can more effectively work with him. That's a god's responsibility just the same as looking after their shinki and answering prayers.

It's important to feel useful, and to be used effectively...or so something like him thinks]

[ Roxas might feel the pot grow a little warmer in his hand—after all, Jakob really doesn’t have a lot of other options to express his pleasure. The pat on the head hardly feels patronizing at all.

Then again, nothing Roxas can do short of making him lose his purpose in life can be wrong… ]

Yes, milord, the distance is perfect. Now, if you would please tip me over…

[ So the man can wake up screaming in his bed and they can both go home for ice cream, or something. ]

[Roxas notes the change in temperature, though he doesn't know what to associate with it. He didn't get a negative reaction at least, which further cements his belief that headpats are an acceptable gesture of either reassurance or affection.

Such a pro at this human experience thing, right? Right]

Alright.

[He keeps one hand over his teapot-shinki's lid as he cautiously tips the spout downward toward their patient. It's...an unusual sort of healing method, but he's not about to knock it]

[ Well he’s a lot better at the human thing than Jakob is, that’s for sure. ]

Steady, now… Ah, excellent, milord. Truly excellent.

[ Roxas clearly knows how to handle his teapots—especially piping hot ones, for tepid tea is just the worst, and so the patient shifts uncomfortable as the first few trickles of water hit their mark, and when a veritable torrent comes he screams awake—and what a healthy scream it is, given that his sinuses have been duly unclogged—feeling for burns and blisters that are not there, some strange nightmare of home invaders coming in to boil him alive already fading fast from his mind. ]

[Roxas jolts when the man wakes up screaming, drawing back a good step and pulling his shinki against him protectively. No doubt a human couldn't do any harm to Jakob, but that doesn't change his reflex reaction to someone springing up and making a loud noise, all the same.

At least the man isn't making that strange whistling noise through his nose anymore, though]

...Is he better now?

[ Jakob lets out a little gasp at that protective gesture. ]

Not so close, milord; you might burn…! [ Forget the patient even—Jakob’s far too confident in his own healing abilities to give any more fucks about the guy. ]

I'll be fine. This uniform can't burn.

[Axel is a testament to the fireproof nature of the Organization uniform, in point of fact. And even if that weren't the case, Roxas shows no hesitance in keeping his shinki's vessel form close to him.

He eyes the man warily before the fellow simply rolls over and goes back to sleep, this time breathing easily]

I—I suppose… [ Still, he doesn’t miss the sentiment behind the gesture, and it’s incredibly touching, really.

He’s so lucky to have such a caring master—except whoops, this is no time to be sentimental, isn’t it? Especially since he might accidentally burn a hole through Roxas’s hand, fireproof Org XIII uniforms or no. ]

Erm, yes, I do believe he’s cured. Well done, Milord.

You did a good job, Jakob.

[By now, Roxas knows that's the sort of thing his shinki needs to hear. And he wants all of them to be acknowledged for what they do, and the things they're good at, so he won't neglect saying it now.

He takes care to gently set Jakob's vessel form down, taking a half-step back before using his vessel name to revert him back to his true form]

Mission complete.

[ Closed ] I'm a little teapot short and stout

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