thenearshore | [closed] you set me free

[closed] you set me free

Who: Sanae and Lu Meng
What: Prayer no. 10
Where: Around the city!
When: April 16th, Noon
Warnings: None!

[ The requester has prayed in dismay, "I know that my daughter has been gone for more than a year, but I still can't bring myself to let her go. Please give me the strength and hope to keep waiting for her."

And those words continue to echo within Sanae's mind all morning as they make their way to the requester's house, and even throughout their ensuing conversation. As a god in her own world, she has always felt other's prayers in her heart to some extent. But today is the first day that she's actually felt them pull at her heart-- a sort of strange, commanding inspiration that drives her to relieve this woman of her pain. Especially because the woman's daughter is never coming back, as she died years ago. While Sanae herself has dealt with other's grief before, she's dealt with it in a way that requires more action on her part: slay the youkai who killed a villager's son. Seal the oni that ate the villager's grandfather. That sort of thing that's required of a priestess.

To actually stay and comfort those who have lost someone precious is much more difficult than she anticipated. So perhaps for a good portion of their time spent talking to the mother, Sanae struggles to do anything but be overly empathetic. At one point, she's brought to tears herself because the story is just so sad, and it gets worse when the mother brings out an old photo album. Those water works definitely do not stop by the time they come around to the daughter's grave.

Lu Meng will probably be comforting both of them by the time this request is over, and Sanae herself once they bid the mother farewell. ]

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[He goes through the motions; quietening when the bereaved mother begins to recount precious memories of her daughter and providing words of comfort when the pain grow too much. When the tears begin in earnest he offers her a handkerchief; he'd wanted to let Sanae take over given that she is the god and the only other woman in the room, but then she too starts crying and then it's up to him to console the both of them.

For sure there's power in the words and gestures he chooses to try and comfort the two; he knows the right words to say and how much he should say. And he does it with the air of someone who's done it many times in the past. But there's a new kind of power in his voice, one that can help ease the pain of a grieving heart. And he's careful with it as well, because surely it can't be emotionally healthy to force someone to feel something else then what they're feeling at the moment. So it's little nudges, little bits and pieces of gentleness and warmth to counter the sadness that's swallowed the household. And he considers it a partial victory when the mother's sobbing begins to quiet down after Lu Meng tells her that she hadn't failed her daughter because she couldn't afford the expensive surgery.

It's a sad story, he thinks to himself, sparing one last glance at the house as he and Sanae take their leave. For all the technological advancements of the future, they still can't completely prevent tragedies like this from happening.

Turning his attention back to his god, he notices the tear stains on her cheeks. He's given up his handkerchief to the other woman, but he still has pocket tissues to spare (he came prepared). He fishes one out and hands it to her.]

It's alright. [His tone is not unkind, and his expression carries his concern for her.] Her heart is still heavy with grief but her burden has been lessened, at least for today.

[ Her shinki is an amazing man, and when he does comfort the both of them-- or, well, the woman mostly because this mission is about her-- she can't help but remain silent to allow the man to speak and use his talent. Who knew someone so stern looking, strict, and blunt could be this compassionate?

She can't help but be in awe of him, and as they continue sharing their time with the grieving mother, she makes a note to applaud him.

...When she's done crying on her own, that is. ] 'M gonna--- [ A sob as she tries to regain control of her voice. ] 'M gonna t-try to see her e-...every week! [ Aaaaand she's blowing her nose into the tissue. And yes, Sanae will do this even if the mother may forget her. She just can't leave the old woman alone! ]

You can't do that. Not every week, at least.

[He's not trying to be mean here! Just practical.]

I don't know much about being a god, but you can't show favoritism among your followers. Since you've just started building your followers, it might be alright for you to visit her once every week for now. But unless you can stop time or be in numerous places at one go, you can't visit every single one of your followers, especially as their numbers grow.

[He pulls out a water bottle and holds it out for her. He packed the cute one with the froggy pattern, just for her!]

Heavenly favors don't always involve a god getting directly involved, correct? We can help connect this woman to a support group at the temple instead; that would be a more sustainable solution.

Edited 2016-08-22 04:12 (UTC)

[ Note to self: becoming a powerful enough god to stop time or make clones of herself to visit all of her followers!!

...And she thinks this seriously. Because this is something she's thought about in her own world, too, when she's grappled with what to do with those she cares about versus everyone to whom she owe her duty as a god. His words-- you can't show favoritism-- reflect the rules she believes she should emulate, too. It's just... difficult when one has a big heart. ] Th-thank you. [ She takes the bottle from him, silently appreciating his choice of design. ]

It's just-- I want to make sure she'll be okay. [ She takes his suggestion to heart, as well as taking a sip of that water. ] Let's-- ...let's find [ Hiccup. ] That sup-p-port group right now!

Edited 2016-08-22 04:17 (UTC)

Not until you've calmed down and washed your face, Lady Kochiya.

[With that runny nose and red-rimmed eyes, the support group might think she's the one in need of counselling instead. He spots a bench nearby; that might be a good spot for them to sit down and let the sobs and hiccups work their way out of her system.]

Let's rest for a moment. We can figure out how we're going to explain our connection to the members of that support group.

[ ...Ugh, she must look terrible right now. Sanae nods quietly to him as she follows him over to the bench, sitting down.

And blowing her nose again. ] It's just.... jus' so s-s-sad. What happened. I can't--... can't imagine what it would be like to lose someone of your family. [ But it happens every day. And it was even more common before in ancient times-- in his time. And thinking of that brings more tears to well up in her eyes, because her memory of his death is that new and raw for her. ] I wish I could do more-- more of things like this, for many more people...

[From the little he can look through in his mind, he can derive enough to know that the time he lived in was a rough one. It's quite likely that as a soldier he must have lost more than a couple of comrades, maybe even a brother or his father.

But that's all just a vague generalization of how it was to live in those times. Rather than wasting so much time taking stabs in the dark (which, at any rate, he mostly felt disinclined to do anyway) he'd rather focus on the now.

And that means serving the young, green-haired woman next to him with all he has. She's really not what he thought a god would be like, but there are stranger gods out there other than the usual war god/deva. It's...a little scary, to think that he's going to have to look out for an actual god. But right now he sees not the divine but a young girl trying to fix the world and being saddened that she can't.]

You can only do the best that you can. It may not seem like much but every kind word and gesture, even if it's just listening to prayers, offers people at least some comfort that they're not alone.

[Now, he doesn't mean to be harsh. But it's especially because she's new at this god business that he has to be a little stern with her right now. A god is a source of strength and comfort for their worshipers; they can share in and empathize with their follower's sorrow, but they shouldn't be sobbing their eyes out. It's not the god who needs comforting; it's the humans.

And if it's his duty as a shinki to assist her in her godly duties, then it also means that he must help her mature into her new role as quickly as possible. He dreads to know what an over-emotional god would do with their powers, and he wants her to use her powers responsibly.]

My lady, I know what happened to that old woman was a tragedy. But you must not allow your emotions to run away from you either. That woman found comfort in knowing that someone else felt grief as she did, but there will be others who will find your tears distressing.

It's not wrong to cry for other's suffering, but sometimes people want strength. Not waterworks.

That's.... that's very true. [ She blows her nose again, reflecting on his words.

And that's what she wants to be for others-- to let them know that she is there. Besides offering protection and happiness, it is the least she can do. Not that she would be satisfied with doing the "least" for someone else in any respect, but hearing his reassurance that that can be good enough for some situations brings her comfort.

But then he continues with his advice, cautioning her of her emotions. Which, all in all, he's not very stern about it in reality-- he's being reasonable, and offering her sound words of guidance. Practical words. Wisdom. ] ...S-sorry. [ She says, grimacing and shutting her eyes tightly. She's always been an emotional one, as he will find out in the course of their partnership (if he hasn't guessed it already). Reigning in her sorrow for this woman's circumstance and loss is difficult enough, and it doesn't help that she can't seem to get a hold of her hiccups and tears now that the prayer has been fulfilled! She feels as if she's failing his expectations of her as a god. ]

Y-you're right. Next-- [ A shaky breath. ] Next time... I'll... [ But her voice falls short. She can't make a promise that she won't cry. Things like this take practice and time! ].....Try. [ "Try". She hates that word. You tried, gold star, B+, you almost made it. ]

A young bird cannot soar like an eagle on its first flight. [Oh, he can read her disappointment in herself, her thoughts about failing expectations. And while he wants her to learn, he doesn't want her to be too hard on herself either.]

In fact, a young bird will fall over and over again, before it even begins to ride the winds. But as long as it tries, as long it perseveres, it can reach ever greater heights than man can ever achieve.

A young bird does not blame itself for its pinfeathers, for its clumsy first falls with wings frantically flapping to just catch a bit of breeze. The bird just keeps trying to fly. And sometimes, trying is all we can do.

[ The metaphor isn't lost to her, although she does feel that she should be more capable than a little bird. Especially since she was a god in her own world before she came here. It seems that being a god-- strictly a god-- versus balancing that divinity with her duties as a priestess truly is different.

Still, it is nice to hear words of reassurance. So in the end, she keeps her doubts to herself and turns the conversation back to him. ] ...Thank you, Lu Meng. You're very wise. [ Sanae smiles softly. ] Even with how you spoke to the mother back there-- you showed a great deal of compassion and understanding. You're strong. [ And that was without waterworks on his part. She needs to be like him-- to be strong and gentle, like an unwavering mountain that protects the villages along its slopes.

She looks up at him with an apologetic smile. ]

Please... until my "wings" grow in, I guess I'll have to rely on your strength, too. [ She's sorry that she can't stand up on her own just yet. She's sorry she must rely on him, when she should be able to help herself on her own. But perhaps that's her own hubris, left over from her time in Gensokyo, where she was always alone one way or another, never taking on a partner to fight when she exorcised youkai. ]

[He doesn't like that apologetic smile, it carries a bit too much self-blame for her inexperience in this matters, but he sees no less determination or no less a promise to do her best.

So he merely nods in response, convicted to help her achieve that best that she desires.]

Of course. I do not believe that my duties as your shinki end at just your moral compass. I will do my utmost so that your name will be spoken with reverence and respect, and that your followers will be secure in knowing your care for them.

[But it's not just her who's new to this whole god-shinki thing. Unlike her he doesn't show insecurity or uncertainty. In the space of a few days he's had to cope with the knowledge of his death, the lost of his memories, and the sudden burden of having his emotions and conscience tied to a complete stranger's health and life, but somehow, somehow he is convicted that he'll figure this out in time.

He just needs that time.

So this time he gets off the bench and on his knees in front of her. his right fist meets his left palm determinedly, and he bows his head in front of her.]

And I too, must ask for your assistance as I learn what it means to be a shinki in this strange new world. I ask for your patience and your guidance, my lady, and I also ask for your forgiveness in advance, should I cause you offence unwittingly through my ignorance.

[ Throughout her time in Gensokyo as a priestess, she has never been offered such respect, even among those who knew of her status as a god. That bow, the way he addresses her with honor is all very new to her. A part of her doesn't mind it. After all, such reverence is what she does for other gods, and the formality comes with it. It's how it should be, and perhaps that's how he sees it, too, even if she's no where near being a proper god yet. As flattering as it is, she doesn't see her deserving of such respect and formality, not yet. Not when he's the one who basically answered this prayer and comforted her in the end.

And... Because even though she is a god, she's still Sanae.

It's almost silly that he's apologizing in advance, too. He hasn't done anything wrong! He's just learning, and she'd never hold ignorance against someone. It must be hard enough to adjust to modern times as it is. ] ....Well, maybe there is a first lesson I can teach you of the modern world. Do you know what a friendship handshake is? [ She stands from the bench, reaching out her hand to him. ]

[It takes a few minutes for him to check through his knowledge of the world he left behind; but no. He glances upwards to meet her gaze questioningly.]

I'm afraid I don't know anything that's so specifically titled a "friendship handshake".

[Is she asking him to do one with her? He wonders for a moment if that's proper, but he hadn't read anything in the BBS to suggest that familiarity and friendship with a god was frowned on.

Still as a shinki and a servant, it's not his place to offer friendship to her. He can only accept if it is her who gives it to him. The rules of lord and retainer are not dissimilar with the rules between a god and a shinki, after all.]

[ If only he knew that she thought of them as friends the moment they met! Because she is like that-- everyone is her friend. ] Weeeeelllll, it's a special handshake that's unique to two people. [ Look at how easily she recovers from sadness and sorrow when she's distracted by something. This 'something' being friendship. ] But it's more than a handshake, involving a lot of extra steps. Usually it's not just for a greeting, but for when something good happens. [ Like if they solve a prayer, or defeat an ayakashi. ] Like this--

[ She'll demonstrate one of her friendship handshakes with both of her own hands. ]

[Such a sweet summer child.

That flip from sobs to smiles is a little surprising, but he's observed her well enough over the first few days of their shinki-god relationship; such an emotional 180 is better, he thinks, than her remaining down all the time. At least it means she's easy to cheer up and/or comfort.]

I see. [That handshake was so unmistakably and undeniably girly and cute, he's also not surprised she'd come up with it.

...and that's when it occurs to him.]

W-wait. Am I supposed to do...all that!?

No, not that one! You can't use the same friendship handshake twice. [ Duuuuuh, Lu Meng. ]

We have to come up with one for ourselves.

Please excuse my ignorance, my lady. [Another quick bow of the head. Teach him the ways of the modern city girl, sensei.

And normally he'd totally be dissing this as just another girly thing, but this is from his god. He cannot say no! And he must come up with the ultimate friendship handshake that befits a god!!]

How many steps should this handshake have? What meanings do each gesture have?

[ What meanings does each gesture have...? ] Er, that is...---

[ She never really thought about it. ]

[ Clearing her throat. ] For your first question: it can be as many as you like! We need to have at least seven, though! [ Why? Because she said so. ] As for what it means... individually, they don't really have a single meaning.

But when you put them all together, it means that the bond we share is special! Because we trust each other to always know the next step to this complex and unique pattern, and can depend on the other to do their half of the work!

[With such a serious look on his face, she won't be wrong to suspect that if he has a notepad right now he'd be taking notes. This is all very new to him, but he must learn the new customs and traditions of this world. Otherwise how can he best understand and help his god's followers??? So that includes learning the intricacies of the all-important (or so it sounds to him from Sanae's description) friendship handshake.]

Hmm, I understand better now. [That's a pretty good reason to have a friendship handshake, actually. Do all young girls carry out friendship handshakes with each other? He'll have to find out!!] Then, should we start with a deep bow to denote our mutual respect for each other?

[...clearly he has a long way to go.]

[ She has no issues to him taking this seriously! Because she is also 100% serious about this. Friendship handshakes are no joke! ] Yes, that--

I mean, no, no deep bows to each other. That's too... [ Formal. ] You have to loosen up a bit!

[ A breath. ] Let's start with a basic high-five. [ Raises her hand up. DOES HE KNOW WHAT A HIGH FIVE IS. ]

[Lu Meng. Loosen Up. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa....

He just stares blankly at her hand. Well there are five digits (four fingers and one thumb), so he's guessing it has to do with her hand. But high five?]

What is a high-five?

[ Ah. ....There may be a twitch at the corner of her lips. She shouldn't laugh or giggle-- that would make him feel bad! But it's just so strange to encounter someone who hasn't heard of a high five before!

So she turns any awkwardness into a cough and explains: ] You raise your hand up high like this-- and then slap your hand against mine! Go on, try it!

[His expression immediately turns shocked!]

But how can a shinki lay a finger on his god!? And why would a friendship handshake include such a thing in the first place!?

[He's thinking of a slap, like a hard slap.]

[ "Lay a finger on his god--"?? ] No, no-- nothing hard! Like a clap!

[ She demonstrates with her own two hands. Clap, clap. ] But between the two of us.

[...OHHHHhhh like a friendly backslap. Well now he's feeling foolish, and it shows with the slight sheepish looks that's creeping onto his face, but really it's not his fault, no girls or ladies ever engaged in anything even remotely similar to a clap on the back!]

R-right. My apologies.

[So. High-five it is. He raises his hand and just...freezes there for a moment. Because now another battle begins.

CAN HE REALLY DO SOMETHING SO FRIENDLY WITH AN UNMARRIED YOUNG WOMAN.] Hmmmm..... [He's...he's really struggling to bring his hand forward. Sure this new world has new rules about how much physical contact men and women could have, but still!!! IS THIS PROPER???

#firstworldsecondcenturyproblems]

[ Oh, good, he understands, they're going to make progress.....!

--Wait why did he stop. She looks at him curiously, blinking her golden eyes. Ah! Maybe he just needs some extra help with the first step.

SO GET READY FOR A HIGH FIVE BECAUSE SHE'S GOING TO CLOSE THE DISTANCE BETWEEN THEIR PALMS. ] ---There! High-five... get!

[WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY.

Or not.

Although he still looks a little shocked, even a little bit uncomfortable at having (gasp!!!) touched the palms of his hands together with an unmarried young woman...it's not like the heavens have struck him down with lightning for engaging in friendly behavior with his goddess!

The words roll out of his mouth before he can stop them:]

Is that...all?

[ ....Oh, she can't help it. That expression of his is just so-- ...innocent? Silly? He seems so dumbfounded. ] M-mm! [ She giggles lightly, but politely covers her mouth. ] That's all there is to it.

--For that high-five. But we have to do it with the other hand now, too. [ DING DING DING, ROUND TWO. She raises her left hand. ]

[Wait there's a second one whhhhyyyyyy

Ok, ok. He can do this. Just, just breath in deep, try and calm down and not let her down this time because THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT OK THIS IS A FRIENDSHIP HANDSHAKE.

So. High-five.

...this is probably the longest high-five in the world (clocking in a record thirty seven seconds), but eventually, eventually he's able to move his hand close enough to hers that their palms are juuuuuust touching.

And then he whips his hand back like he'd just been caught with his hand in the cookie car. Thankfully he's absorbed enough about the new world's culture that he doesn't feel particularly guilty about physical contact with the opposite gender! Otherwise she'd feel a sting at the back of her neck.

He's about to let out a sigh of relief that it's over...only it's not because there are at least FIVE MORE STEPS LEFT OH NOOOOOO...]

[ What kind... of... hi-five was... that? ]

That's good, Lu Meng, but you gotta do it again-- this time with more force! And with more enthusiasm! You have to show how excited you are about friendship in this handshake. Remember that it's used as a way to praise or celebrate or-- or to even show how happy you are to see someone!

[ They are going to practice this to get this right, dammit! ] Let's try again! [ Raises up her hand. ]

[...this is not part of the list of shinki duties!!! But fine, he acquiesces.

And gives her yet another weak high five. This one just lightly taps against her hand before again, he yanks it away like he's just touched a hot coal. He can't help it, he was taught to maintain a proper distance for young ladies!]

I am truly sorry, my lady, but this does not come easily to me.

That's why we have to practice! [ She encourages, her voice raising. ] Again, again, and again! [ A fist pump. ] You can do it, Lu Meng! I know you can! Because-- because if you helped comfort that mother back there, I know you can give a good high-five. You know why? Because you deserve this high-five-- ten high-fives... no, twenty high-fives for helping that poor woman out!

So.... Don't give up! [ She raises both hands up high. ] You're strong and you know it-- give me all you got!

Y-yes my lady!

[Wow where did all this fire and energy come from? Just a few minutes ago she'd been sniffling and sobbing, and now she's suddenly all gung-ho about making friends with him?

He's definitely taken aback. And now that she's taking charge, it's actually easier for him to follow orders than requests. So now he's actually squaring himself and giving her a determined nod. He's got this. He's got this. HE'S GOT THIIIIISSSS!!!

And there goes his hand and it's going over in a smooth arc, and there's no hesitation at all and he's giving this all he has--!!!

AND HE SCOOOOORRRREEESSS!!!

With a high five that might be a little too hard, but it can't be helped his hands are rough and covered with calluses. But yes, it's a HIGH-FIVE!

And this time he keeps his palm pressed to hers and his eyes fiercely meeting hers, searching for her approval. Did he do it right sempai?]

[ Ouch, yes, that was quite the high-five, but IT'S OKAY, THIS IS WHAT SHE WAS WAITING FOR! She look back at him determinedly, the gold in her eyes flaring proudly. He's done more than oblige her-- he's impressed her with his high-five. ] WHOOOA-- you did it, Lu Meng! Just like that!

[ But let's keep this energy going! ] Now again! Other hand! [ Lifts the other one up. ] And the other! Now criss-cross! [ THEY'RE GOING TO GET THIS ROUTINE DOWN. ] You got it, don't give up now!

[If this was a shonen manga, this would be the moment when Lu Meng goes "UOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAHHHHH!!!!" But since he is a mature adult, he won't do that!]

At once!!

[...though it is also highly debatable if a mature adult would take high-fives so seriously. But yes, here they go! High-five number 2! High five number 3! And BAM, COMBO! CRISS-CROSS HIGH FIVE.]

[ CRISS CROSS UP AND DOWN ONE OVER THE OTHER SIDE TO SIDE CLAP TOGETHER ONCE FIST BUMP THEN YOU DO THE CHA CHA SLIDE

Okay so no cha cha slide is included in this one, but Sanae shouts the commands of the complex and intricate handshake one after the other, finding that they're successfully flowing about the steps thanks to their shared enthusiasm.

And perhaps because of that enthusiasm, the wind does pick up around her, tossing her hair. It was her first element she learned to create, so it's no wonder it reacts naturally when she's excited about something. But now there's something extra-- an added glow to her skin as she shines with her happiness and enthusiasm because she's a god.

Finally they end the handshake on a double, loud high five the resounds to the sky, and Sanae beams at him enthusiastically. But because of all of that! shonen! exertion! Her fingers curls over his in an almost exhausted manner, and she gives his hands a firm squeeze. She laughs merrily. ]....S--...see? You did it.

We now have our own friendship handshake.

[Who knew that the years of reflexes honed on the battlefield would be so useful with following instructions for complex handshakes? It's easy to get caught up with her energy, and perhaps it is the ease that obeying orders comes to Lu Meng, that helps him to keep up in-time with her.

With the final double loud high five, he finds himself looking down at his god, and it slowly sinks in that he's just, inadvertently completed a friendship handshake. It's...actually not as complicated as he thought it'd be!

And yet it is the simple things that make his god shine with all the brilliance of a sun. His serious composure cracks, and a slight smile makes its way onto his lips.]

We do indeed.

[He doesn't even mind so much that her fingers are over his, because they've done so many high fives and even a fist bump that this? This is OK. High-fives and fist bumps are OK.

Friendship handshakes are definitely OK.

But still, old habits die hard, and his height over hers probably has her arms tired to reach his hands for the high fives. He pulls his hands away from hers and steps back. His hands instead return to that ancient salute of his, and he bows towards her again.]

Thank you for the handshake and your guidance, my lady.

[ With that, they've now cemented their friendship handshake. She's learned a good lesson in comforting others today, and he's learned a lesson in how to fulfill a handshake. ] And... thank you for yours. [ Similarly, Sanae takes a step back and mimics the bow he's done to her, but when she looks up from it, she's still smiling.

She's lucky, she thinks, to have a shinki like him. She doesn't want to let him down. ]

Let's go find out more about that support group, alright?

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[closed] you set me free

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