thenearshore | PRAYER NO. 11

PRAYER NO. 11

Who: Sanae and Lu Meng
What: Prayer no. 11
Where: Around the city!
When: April 17th, Noon
Warnings: None!

"God I'm never gonna find a job. I don't know why I even bother. No one's ever hiring anyway. Won't someone give me a break? I'll take anything!"

[ Oh, but Sanae Kochiya, god of miracles, will not be satisfied with just anything for someone who has prayed to her! She is determined to find the best fitting job for this lonesome young man there is. Because he is a good person. Clearly that means he's good enough for any job top-end, high-paying job with benefits there is!

The man, Sachi, is a certified MRI tech. The problem is that not all hospitals are in need of extra MRI techs. Even if a hospital is over 900 beds, they might only have three MRIs to be available, only a couple techs on board during a day, and only one at night. But does that stop Sanae Kochiya? NO, not at all! She's gong to find this guy the job he was trained to do! As is is, there is one opening position for an MRI tech, but over 50 certified techs applying for the job. Which means he needs his resume, cover letter, and letter of references spruced up.

Sanae has never reviewed any of these things. She's never applied for a job before. But as she sits at one of the libraries in the city with Lu Meng at her side, pouring over the how-to guide books of resume writing, she's beginning to learn, revise, and refresh poor, unemployed Sachi's work. She doesn't mind the solitary work, either, because she's also found some books for Lu Meng to practice reading Japanese in the meantime.

And so after a couple of hours, Sanae proudly steps back from the computer and stretches her arms, grinning. ] There. There's no way he won't be hired after this!

[ She sends the email with the revised resume and coverletter back to Sachi, who is online anyway and writes back a quick "thank you". ] The rest is up to him....!

[ She looks back to Lu Meng. ] Although... if they won't give him the time of day to even speak to him, maybe we can use your ability to convince the manager to just give him a chance. What do you think?

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We definitely cannot do that. [Is the stern, sharp reply that she gets. Lu Meng looks up disapprovingly from his practice sheet, his fingers stained with ink smudges. Darn these stupid pens, it's like non-stop weeping with all the ink that's leaking out! And it's so weird to hold them too, compared to holding a calligraphy brush.

Suffice to say, his ire is raised.]

If his letter of recommendation was not sufficient to earn him an interview, then it is either because he lacks the qualifications required for the job or there are those that are better suited for it. It would be unfair for us to influence his chances when the job should by right go to someone better qualified.

[Unlike Sanae he doesn't stretch his limbs, choosing instead to straighten his back and rub a sore spot underneath a shoulder blade with his non-inked hand.]

And you shouldn't slouch over that electric box either. It's not good for your posture.

[Says the guy who was poring obsessively over books just last night till she found him asleep in the common room slumped over the table, but shhhhhhhh the point still stands.]

[ Gah, was she slouching?! Okay she'll straighten up. ] I doubt that the person who's hiring looks through all the resumes if they're getting that many. And there could be a chance that the email was buried under all the other resumes! Or lost if they print the. All out!

We don't have to convince them to hire Sachi, but we can... suggest that his resume deserves to be looked at. He did pray to me, after all.

Then...I suppose we could speak with his potential employer and encourage him or her to pay closer attention to all the... [What's that word? In his days people wrote introduction letters. His mouth pulls into a thin thoughtful line for a moment, before he remembers.]

...cover letters he or she receives this month. [A fair compromise, he thinks. He doesn't want to give Sachi too much of a leg up against the other applications; that didn't seem too fair to him.]

Yes, that's the spirit. [ It's a good thing that they're in a section of the library that no one is paying attention to, because Sanae doesn't think twice of using him on the spot. ] Come,-- ah, um...-- Genki!

[ She totally did not forget his name there for a moment! Anyway, she holds her hand open for him, awaiting his transformation. ]

Yes, my lady.

[He'd put down his pen and awaited her command. Upon hearing that name, he's submerged in that odd feeling that comes with a transformation, and feels himself being pulled into her hand.

The next thing he knows, he's an inanimate object. Or as inanimate as a shinki vessel can be. Still it is a little awkward and uncomfortable for him to feel Sanae's hands wrap around what is arguable his body right now.]

[ Sanae knows the phone number of the manager Sachi wishes to be hired by. Flipping the phone open-- oh, excuse her, she means: flipping Lu Meng-as-a-phone open, she begins to press in the numbers.

Ring ring~ calling an NPC for Lu Meng to work his magic on while Sanae talks!

He'll find that even if she's not speaking to someone in person, she still exhibits all the mannerisms as if she were. Since she's speaking to a manager, she makes herself more poised in her seat, straightening up and flattering out her skirt, crossing her legs at the ankles. She bows when the conversations calls for it even though the gesture is physically unnecessary during, well, a phone call. But this is how Sanae is, and she remains polite and cordial throughout, giving Sachi a glowing recommendation and encouragement to the manager all on her own. ]

[And being the spoil sport that he is, Lu Meng is quick to hiss to Sanae (and he really hopes the manager can't hear them!!): ]

My lady, the plan was to ask the manager to look through all the cover letters he's receiving this month.

[And that's why he's not using his powers just yet.]

You don't know if that young man is capable of doing all that you're claiming. You should not set so high a bar for expectations that he will fail them if it turns out that he can't carry out his tasks.

[ Hey, now, she doesn't quite see anything bad with it-- she's just giving someone an opportunity! Sanae continues speaking to the other manager, using Lu Meng's unique ability of suggestion to placate them. Or so she thinks.

In reality, since he's refused to use his ability, and she's not particularly pushing hard to control it, that it's not activated doesn't come to her attention. So she continues to blabber on about how Sachi is to the manager. If it's actually working-- who knows. ] Nonsense! Haven't you read his resume and cover letter? This guy-- Sachi-- is pretty amazing!

[ She may be over-convincing herself about Sachi's capability, too. Because she just is that excitable. ]

My lady, I know I am new to this world but I'm certain that man's resume and cover letter was fairly complex. I understood less than half of what was being said.

[...and the manager on the other side of the line is growing increasingly irritated, and Lu Meng can sense that man's frustration bubbling underneath a veneer of politeness. At the rate she's going, she's probably going to ruin Sachi's chances instead of improve them!]

Lady Kochiya, please tone down your praises and cut this conversation short. This man is growing impatient.

Edited 2016-08-31 07:37 (UTC)

[ Uh oh... yes, she's getting the feeling that it's not working. So now her tone becomes more apologetic. As well as timid, because without someone backing her she doesn't feel as official or as prominent. In fact, she feels ashamed.

There's a lot of backpedaling going on, on her part, as she bows against and again to no-one as she speaks on the phone. A few moments later, the call ends, and she breathes out wearily, suddenly feeling entirely stressed and embarrassed. ] Did...did... I just mess up his once chance at a job?

[ This is. Terrible. She's a terrible goddess. She can't even get one person a job! In fact, she might have stopped him from ever getting a job! (At least at this particular hospital.) ]

[He's silent as she tries to salvage this situation but it's growing more awkward, the courtesy more forced, and there's definitely a bite of impatience as the manager bids them good day. When she finally hangs up and ends the conversation, those apologies of hers might be too much and too late.

Some part of him feels slightly guilty for not having obeyed her command to use his powers on the manager. He is after all her shinki; he should obey. But he knows that would've been the wrong thing to do. Positions have to be earned, not given, and they honestly don't know enough to judge if Sachi truly deserves this job or not.

Well, Sachi's resume is going to be a hard one to miss after that phonecall. To her question he can only offer her the solemn, harsh truth.]

They may still read his letter yet. But I'm afraid this time, we have erred.

[And he uses the word "we", because honestly some part of this is his fault. Sanae had let her enthusiasm get the better off her; he should have been more firm with her from the get-go on what they were going to say. He'll have to remember to watch her more carefully from now on.]

Even if this hospital is predisposed against hiring him, there are still other hospitals that he can submit his application to for employment. Let us learn from this incident, and be wiser with the words we choose from now on, if we decide to speak on that young man's behalf again.

Not "we", "I". [ She corrects. And while her voice is unusually withdrawn, there's a finality to it. It's not that she doesn't agree with him, it's that she can't. She's the god, not him. The blame lies entirely on her, and she won't let him take any of it because it's not his place. There are a number of thoughts running through her head. Predominantly comes the self-blame. It's not good enough that Sachi will have to seek a job at a different hospital. She's not good enough if she can't fulfill a small prayer for a job. It's not good enough that she did exactly the opposite of improving his chances to be hired.

With that, she releases him from his shinki form, looking back to the computer. The cursor winks mockingly at her on the word document titled. After a moment's pause, she selects all and presses a single key to undo the work she's done. ] Thank you, Lu Meng, for your advice. [ She says cordially. ] ...I wish to be alone.

[ He's saying that she must learn from this incident. She's learned that she's a terrible god and fulfilling requests for those that do call to her. She must do better, and do so without him if he refuses to use his ability, hence a dismissal. What will only save Sachi now is a miracle. Thankfully, that's her department. Lu Meng might not believe in her, but Sachi does. She'll have to draw from there to make something work. She hopes.

It's a real shame when a god doesn't believe in themselves. ]

[His legs touch the floor again, but he's not happy to be back in his normal form. He didn't like scolding her either, and he likes it even less when she begins this self-blame game again. Some part of him wants to insist on staying and talking to her more, to try and ease that guilty that's clearly eating at her. There's a world of difference between being the world's most awful god and one that's just inexperience, and moments like these make him wish he could just drum this into her head once and for all!

But that's just his frustration speaking. What he doesn't expect is for her to dismiss him though; now that stings, even if he gives no outright indication that it does other than the initial moment of shock. But his expression is quickly righted into solemn deference, and he merely gives her his normal salute.]

As you command.

[He doesn't regret what he said. But to be asked to be removed from her presence...well, he knows she doesn't mean anything too serious by it. But even as he takes his leave, the sadness and shame begins to swell within him; a man of his time does not take such words lightly, especially one that takes his duties seriously to those he has sworn his life to.

So as he walks out, Sanae will feel a sting of her own, right at the back of her neck. But it doesn't last long; he is determined to make this right. He is determined to bring back her smile and giggles and laughter. While she may say that she is a god and that she alone should bear that burden, she is still too young to get everything right on the first go. It's up to him to help her fix this mess.]

[ She winces, but her discomfort stops short of small gasp audibly passing through her lips. Her hand hand instinctively goes to tenderly cup the area behind her neck. He stung her-- again. And she knows from the last time it happened, the mark doesn't go away. As she will find out, such stings accumulate, making the corrupted area grow. Soon she should be careful to wear higher collars to conceal the mess, and unfortunately the sting doesn't help her mood at all. She doesn't know what it means-- if he's stung her because she dismissed him, or if because he doesn't agree with using his abilities in this manner-- maybe both. But it doesn't help her current situation.

She looks over her shoulder at his retreating form, hoping he doesn't notice. Shinki don't know when their gods are stung by their actions or emotions, and that's just the nature of the game. She doesn't even know if he knows what stinging is! But she won't tell him about it, lest she concern him further. It seems that they are both not in the best of moods.

Sanae stares back at the now-blank document stretching her arms before putting her hands back to use. She has to get this done. Sachi prayed to her for a job. She's going to grant that prayer for this job, because anything else would be considered a failure in her book. She slowly begins her work, and if anyone asks what a miracle looks like, well, it looks rather ordinary to the observer. There are two types of miracles to Sanae: the improbable and the impossible. She draws on the improbable to help Sachi.

An hour or so later, Sanae is done with her work. She'll search for Lu Meng if he's still in the library, and barring that he's not, she'll return to her new home. ]

[He will not be around the library; however, if Sanae asks one of the librarians, she'll be told that someone left a message for a green-haired young woman, saying that he will be back at their home by nightfall.

And eventually he does come back, sometime around 7pm. He'll check around the temple to see if she's around, because he does believe they need to have a discussion about today, and the sooner the better.]

[ Sanae will be found in the common room, making tea. When she hears him enter, she stands and greets him. ] Oh-- you're back. Would you like some tea?

[ Polite as ever, she's in a slightly better mood than she was before. After all, she did just get an email saying that Sachi got the job. Now if only she could get rid of the newfound soreness at her neck. ]

[In just the short amount of time that they've known each other, he already knows that formality doesn't suit her. Again there's the question if he should actually take her tea or not (because who's heard of a lord or master that makes tea for their subordinates? It should be the other way around!)...

...but perhaps she would prefer if he said yes. So, equally as politely back, he acquiescence.]

Thank you.

[He sits down opposite her and takes the cup, sipping it. It's only after a few seconds have passed that he breaks the silence between them.]

Congratulations on succeeding in fulfilling that prayer request. That man Sachi had been thrilled to receive the letter of acceptance from the hospital.

[He speaks calmly; perhaps too calmly.]

[ Sanae's been in service to other gods in her homeworld for so long that it really doesn't bother her to make tea. Even if she weren't a priestess, her personality would still mean she makes tea for others! She smiles a bit when he takes the offer. Truly, it would be silly to not take tea just because of some invisible lord-and-servant dynamic. ] Oh, was he? I just got an e-mail about it, and that it all worked out in the end is--

[ "--A big relief." But wait. She tilts her head at him, her brow furrowing in confusion. ] ...How do you know that?

[ Actually now that she takes a better look at him, something's not right. He seems more somber than usual. It must be because of their disagreement earlier, the proof of which is still on the back of her neck. ]

I was having a chat with him when the electronic mail appeared in his electronic mail room. [Someday he'll figure out all these modern day terms, but the day is not today.

But yes. Words. The cup goes down on the table and Lu Meng gives her a deep bow.]

I ask for your forgiveness, Lady Kochiya. Although there was no order I acted outside your will, and did not use my ability when you were speaking with the manager. I caused you to feel humiliated in front of another person, and greatly upset you today.

[His voice is quiet and serious, even as he continues speaking.] In future, I will carry out your orders, as a shinki should for his god.

[ She's rather shocked at the bow, and she nearly stammers his name to have him stop. It's too late, he's giving his apology and the reason why he's bowing, and Sanae can only stare at him, stunned and confused.

She's thought about what happened in the hours since they parted. She thought about how a god should behave when a shinki feels they're doing something wrong. And while she personally knows many gods, her primary models for what it is to behave like a god are Kanako and Suwako. She had asked herself what they would do, if they were in her position. Kanako would admonish him. Perhaps even cast him out. If he won't be useful to her in a fight, if he won't help her in performing her duties as a god-- answering prayers-- then he's useless to her. Suwako would laugh at him, saying that his priorities and morals are too human, and shrug off his concerns.

But Sanae isn't like either of them. Furthermore, as much as she adores the two gods she served as priestess, she doesn't want to be like them, either. Her philosophy is different. She believes that as a god, she's here to serve others, not the other way around. ] ...A shinki isn't meant to just serve their god. They're supposed to act as a guidepost to them. [ And she ignored that guidepost to fulfill the prayer anyways, because that's what she believes she must do as a god. it was for her own selfish reasons-- pride, perhaps, and sorrow from feeling like a failure-- that encouraged her to use her miracles. Still, she didn't fulfill that wish the way Lu Meng believed to be the correct way. ] You have every right to refuse something that you don't agree with.

In the end, you served as that guidepost. But I was selfish. I ignored you anyway. [ She looks at him, bringing a hand to her chest sympathetically. ] Lu Meng, please don't bow. I should be apologizing to you.

My lady, you have nothing to apologise for. I disagree with your methods, but I understand that you only did so because you were trying to help your follower. [But he straightens up from the bow, if only because it was a request from her.]

I went to speak to Sachi. It was my oversight, that I had not suggested to you from the beginning to spend more time learning about him. If we had done so, we would at least have known more about his character. That would have helped with writing his resume and cover letter, and we would've been certain that Sachi was the man for the job.

That too, is my error, and I apologise sincerely for my incompetence.

No, that's-- you're... [ What is he doing, trying to take the blame away from her? Does he think that's going to make her feel better?

...Well, okay, it does make her feel a little better BUT STILL. She can appreciate comfort, but this. This isn't right, she doesn't like it. ] Up until a few hours ago, you didn't even know what a cover letter or resume was. You can't hold yourself responsible for something like that.

[ She looks down at the cup in her hands. ] ...Why are you saying this now, when you disagreed with me before?

...If I have may have your permission to speak awhile and explain my thinking.

[Which is Lu Meng speak for, are you ready for some tl;dr?]

Oh-- yes, of course. [ She nods.

Really does he need to ask her permission to speak? ]

"Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat." That is a quote from Sun Tzu's art of war. [And before she wonders why he's suddenly talking about war strategy or before she can ask him what's the difference between strategy and tactics...] Essentially, the method of achieving victory must to be correct, otherwise there might be unintended consequences. Failure to choose the correct strategy could cause logistical delays, lengthen a battle, and cause unnecessary casualties.

Though for today we were only trying to help a man earn his rice bowl, there will be other prayers where the request will not be quite so simple. As a god of miracles, your power could perhaps even help a man to pluck a star from the sky. But there will always be consequences to each act. Giving Sachi this job means depriving 49 other candidates, some who might also be in equally dire or worse situations. And since Sachi will be working in a hospital it is imperative that he must be up to the task lest his incompetency gets in the way of curing a patient or, even worse, causing further harm and possibly even death.

It is your responsibility as a god to use your powers wisely. But it is my responsibility as your shinki, as someone who has all this knowledge from my past life, to put that knowledge to good use.

[And here his tone turns less lecturing and stern. Dulled by humility and remorse, he continues to speak, but softer.]

And I erred too. I thought of you too much as a young woman and not enough of the god that you are. I should have obeyed you even if I felt it was wrong.

I remember nothing of my past, but I know what it means to serve a lord and the deference that is to be paid. If such obedience was already demanded for an earthly ruler, what more of a god?

[Another bow.]

That is why I apologize. My lady may be fearsome in battle against demons but as you have said yourself; your wings have yet to grow in. So please; until that time when you can soar on your own, I will be there to help you fly.

[ What he says is both sound and right. And once again he's reinforced that he's thewise one, that he's the more experienced one. He's even quoting the Art of War! That's not something any ordinary shinki could do, she thinks. She should have listened to him, or at least be more appreciative of him, even it she won't actually listen to him.

She wishes to help everyone, to grant everyone's wishes that they pray to her for. But therein lies the problem. They should have-- she should have evaluated this man's character before granting a miracle. That's absolute right. Yet she knows that due to her inexperience, she feels she is incompetent to judge anyone. Which is where his guidance comes in, because as someone who trusts someone from the start, she would let someone pluck a star from the sky if they wished for it, and more! And that is perhaps the most concerning part to her abilities: she doesn't know when she should say no to a prayer.

Or even if she can say no to one.

And that's why she needs his knowledge and wisdom and guidance. ] I... don't like this. I don't like how you think you should always obey me-- I don't want that from a shinki. [ She places a hand upon the low table gently, as if it would be on his own shoulder if she were closer, leaning forward. ] Much less from a friend. [ He's helpful in his wisdom, but he's even more helpful when he's not a "yes ma'am" servant. ] So don't treat yourself any less, or that your guidance or opinion is not worthwhile while I'm still in the plans of answering a prayer.

Hindsight is 20/20-- you were right, back then. As you are right now, because you thought of what we could have done to better our situation. [ Now it's her turn to bow to him. ] Please allow me this one apology. For not assessing further of what to do... and for sending you away. [ She didn't mean anything by it; she really just didn't want him to see her so ashamed and embarrassed. But she knows he was hurt, too. She felt the feelings of his soul sting her. ]

Edited 2016-08-31 08:59 (UTC)

You don't have to apologize for sending me away. That is within your right.

[And this is probably one of his failings too; that he binds himself too tightly to his role as a servant. While this may have been needed during times of war, he's yet to adjust to his new peacetime reality, one that does not require such a strict military-esque adherence to roles as he's used to.

And sadly, this strict adherence also includes dismissing his emotions. If she hadn't been stung, she might not even have noticed how guilty and ashamed he had felt back then.]

You will always have my honest opinion, my lady. I only wish to be a shinki you can trust and rely on; that is why even if I disagree with your choices, I will align my will to yours unless I believe it will bring you more harm than good.

[And he bows again, lower this time.]

Thank you for your apology.

[ --Oh? He's actually accepted her apology? But she has so man more excuses to explain that the blame shouldn't be on him but on her. Now she doesn't get to use them!

But in all seriousness, she's rather amazed that he would accept her apology. Again, it speaks to his wisdom, as well as security. At that she smiles, glad that the small rift that threatened to appear between them has converged.

It's okay for shinki and gods to disagree. It wouldn't do for the gods to simply have an echo chamber, and for the shinki to sting their gods because they silently disagreed in their hearts. So saying it aloud helps even if the disagreement persists. It's that honesty and trust that makes a good pair. ] ....It's okay if you lecture me, you know.

How else will I learn?

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PRAYER NO. 11

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