thenearshore | [CLOSED] The Art of Persuasion

[CLOSED] The Art of Persuasion

Who: Omi and Youji
What: Nagging, prodding, general exasperating each other
When: April 23rd, shortly after Kija's BBS post discussion; 2nd thread May 2nd, immediately following a BBS voice thread
Where: An art museum
Warnings: 2nd thread cw for possible self-harm discussion/thoughts

[Of all the places to track Youji down to, Omi would not have guessed an art gallery to be among them. It could make for a good spot to approach him, though. It would be quiet but not empty, and highly undesirable to have a scene there as a result. Of course, that isn't as much of a concern anymore, but Omi is counting on Youji not yet being wholly acclimated to that fact. If it was instinctive to feel avoidant of creating a disturbance, that worked just as well as actually being at risk for making one.

He waits until his target is inside to make a move. Then he slips in after him and Poof! Teleports right beside him.]

Youji! Fancy seeing you here!....

[Smile: in place. Tone: cheerful. Omi isn't foolish enough to believe Youji won't suspect him of coming over for more than hello (his method of greeting practically spells it out, after all), but there's no reason to be unpleasant about it. Ultimately, he's doing this in the spirit of helping, and it isn't just for Kija's sake. Youji is going to be depending on Kija, so he needs to be able to work well with him.]

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[Youji isn't surprised Omi decided to talk to him; he practically dared him to, after all.

Even so, his body jerks involuntarily at sudden proximity in his blind spot, and there's a clicking sound as he almost, almost releases the catch on his diver's watch. Stops himself just in time, though, and manages to drop an annoyed look at Omi over his sunglasses.]

Good detective work, following me here.

Edited (lol html ) 2016-09-14 10:54 (UTC)

You already knew I was going to be looking for you, didn't you?

[But Omi doesn't press further. Instead, he turns his attention to the painting on the wall.]

Still, finding you here is a bit of a surprise. Do you like this art style specifically, or general appreciation?

Very general. It was useful to me, before.

[Before Weiss, that is.]

I used to be able to draw composite sketches, things like that. Someone at Kritiker must have found out, because they put me undercover as an art teacher for a while.

[He has a suspect, of course, but that's neither here nor there. Still, some idle chatter doesn't go amiss, does it? He does not want to alienate Omi; god or otherwise, having someone around who he actually trusted once upon a time isn't a wise thing to sacrifice.

That Omi is still in that trustworthy state... that's a bonus.]

I wouldn't be hiding here if I didn't. Though I suppose I could have chosen something you'd not be able to follow me to.

I didn't know you did art! Will you show me sometime? I'd like to see something you've done. That's really neat...

[He's just going to ignore that insinuation he wasn't welcome along. It was like Youji to use snark to try to assert an arms-length relationship to others. Omi doesn't think he really means it.]

[And what do you know, he's absolutely right. It's utterly reflexive at this point, he doesn't even realize he's doing it.]

If I ever have anything worth showing.

[It's just one or two sketchy portraits now, and he isn't sure he wants Omi identifying the subject.

But even as he thinks it, he can see her in his mind's eye, and he can almost see the pencil strokes to recreating the image. Of course, the image is highly exaggerated death throes, since he didn't exactly watch as she died. Listened, though. Listened to her declare her love for the person who took away everything from her...]

Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

[Does it have to be contingent on something Youji considered worth showing? How easy would that make it for him to simply never have something of such a standard? Omi is genuinely interested here, and the idea that Youji might be using a conditional acceptance as a soft refusal is disappointing. Disappointing, but Omi won't press him on it.

Instead, he allows himself a knowing but still friendly smile.]

You're really stretching for small talk, aren't you?

[Let's be real how-about-that-weather is the smallest of the small. No doubt Youji would like to avoid the elephant in the room, but Omi isn't going to let him indefinitely.]

Liiiike a gymnast.

[He can't even enjoy the mental image. Sigh.

In Youji's opinion, the elephant in the room was enjoying the ambiance, and preferred to be left alone.]

Say your piece. Then I can safely [...hm, not 'ignore...' or 'disregard.'] cherrypick which parts of it I like and dislike.

[Well, at least it's an invitation to speak and get to the point on the matter. Omi looks back at the painting on the wall, since it's much easier to look at than Youji directly for this.]

Mmh... I guess, what I really wanted to come here to tell you is, I relate to you, with the struggle of finding a cooperative dyanmic with your shinki. Putting aside Internet banter on a silly forum... there really are some match-ups that make it incredibly difficult.

That is... When I got here, I learned that my shinki was Nagi. Wrestling my need to trust him here against everything from before telling me not to is something I still struggle with. Part of me would really like to just avoid the whole thing.

[It doesn't take long to get somewhere when you can teleport. In less than a minute, Omi has gone from seated in front of his laptop on the BBS to waiting at the art museum by the start of the sculpture exhibit.]

[Which is the worst part for Youji, really. He likes meandering, dawdling, whatever you want to call it. Even if he drives fast, he takes the long way around.

Well, he gives himself about half a block to walk, anyway. Never appear too eager-- not that there's any danger of it whatsoever.

Even so, Omi is waiting, and Youji's pace is... not a rush. His greeting is a lazy wave.]

Actually making things out of nothing, that-- that I could never get the hang of. Ruining a perfectly good sheet of paper is more in my line.

[He nods toward the exhibit. Shall we get this over with?]

Edited 2016-11-20 06:31 (UTC)

[Omi looks at Youji sadly.]

...Does it really bother you so much that someone cares about you?

[Don't do that. All it does is remind him-- Omi was crying right before he ended up here-- and--]

Considering what the end result tends to be? It's more your problem than mine.

And yet, you're the one complaining...

[There is fondness mingled with the wry resignation of his comment.

That's the easy part to say. It's what comes next that Omi just doesn't know how to address. The concept that Youji even might want to die bothers him more than his questions about whether shinki could possibly have it better than gods here. There is simply no easy way to talk about that. He's got to try though.]

Omi, if you didn't want to listen to me complain, you wouldn't have tried to talk to me.

[...walking, we're walking through this exhibit... just a little too quick to really take it all in.]

Yeah. I wouldn't have.

[And of note, one thing his tone didn't carry was irritation.

Omi will walk as well, but he's going a bit slower. Mr. Leisurely-Pace-To-Get-Here isn't going to get away with walking fast now to escape this conversation.]

Youji... did something...... happen, in the future?

[Something you maybe didn't mention the first time I asked?]

What kind of question is that? That's the definition of the future.

[And Youji can't bring himself to outrun Omi, really. He finds himself lingering at the end of the room, giving him that time to come right back up.

Unfortunately, not enough time for Youji to come up with a dodge.]

I think there's a reason we don't tell shinki about their pasts, and it's a similar principle to not telling someone about the future.

...Something did, didn't it.

[Omi doesn't need to know what it is. He's just trying to understand so that... he doesn't even know. It isn't as though anything he can say or do will help. He hates that there's nothing he can do, but that doesn't make the sense of powerlessness any more bearable.]

I don't know, Omi. Hell.

[He turns to face him, smiling wryly.]

Maybe something was happening all along, and it only came to a head in the future.

[Omi takes a few moments of quiet to digest that.]

And that made you start to wonder if it would have been better to be a shinki here?

[Oh, this conversation is... dangerous... He glances at his watch.]

Not in those exact terms. Maybe I didn't have the... vocabulary for it, before.

[Because this started long before he knew about the shinki.]

[Omi doesn't really understand the significance of lacking vocabulary. Mentally, he's already shifted from events back 'home' to introspections here. He thinks he's starting to grasp the heart of original question, though.]

...Maybe things would be different for you. Having been on both sides of it myself... I can at least tell you, it's not as pleasant as it sounds.

You really think I'd turn around and be caught up in the dilemma of not knowing?

[Youji takes the invitation to self-reflection, and... metaphorically rips it to shreds.]

I don't know... But what do you have, if you don't even know who you are? Think about how much of your identity depends on having memories. Your name. Your age. Your education level. Your family. Your interests and hobbies. The events in your life that have influenced your personality and attitudes. All of the relationships you cherish and the people they're with.

Would you really want to give up knowledge of everything that's made your life meaningful, when the alternative is wondering whether you ever had anything in the first place? What do you do after that, Youji?

[Because the answer here is 'nothing'. There is nothing you can do. Finding out means a painful and horrific death. It was the most hellish predicament Omi could imagine.]

[Youji shakes his head, a little too swiftly, a little too hard.]

Omi, not everyone likes the meaning of their life.

[This is entirely unfair, but:]

Look at Ken. He seemed so calm and happy when I spoke with him.

[Youji gets one moment of shock in exchange for that example before Omi's expression shifts. First to heartache, then to offense. Then to anger.]

Yeah. Look at Ken... He's a shell of who he used to be. We still call him that because it's his body but everything that made him Ken is gone! His identity has been reduced to Tot's tool. Are you really trying to tell me that's a good thing?

No, he was a shell of who he used to be. Before he got here.

[Youji snaps back, eyes flashing, palms starting to sweat. His voice quickens.]

We're at the end of a very long journey, Ken and I, one that you don't even know you've already begun. The difference between him and me is that he embraced it, the killing, the subterfuge, he's been enjoying it for years now.

Weiss was disbanded for who knows how long, but Ken and I kept in touch, and eventually he came to me, begging me to give him targets to kill.

[Breathing hard.]

So yes, I consider this a vast improvement.

What are you--

[Talking about. Omi, being several years behind in their collective history, is at a natural disadvantage here. He couldn't possibly have prepared for a rebuttal like this. He's asked Youji what the future is like for them but only gotten vague answers before. Now he has clarity: brutal, artfully timed clarity that enjoys every inch of success in its purpose.

Further argument fails Omi as-- for the moment at least-- he fumbles, unable to do anything more than stare in dumb shock. Eyes wide, jaw agape, horror and grief written across his face.]

Youji...

[There, he's done it. In a fit of rabid defensiveness, he's done the thing he was trying not to do.

He also threw Ken entirely under the bus. He'll have to make it up to him somehow... and if he can do it in such a way that will gain his trust, maybe, hopefully, one day convince him to leave the Schreient girl, so much the better.

But for now. Right here.]

This would be why I didn't want to tell you about the future beyond "we all lived."

[...Okay that last part. Omi catches on to that, and as he recovers from his shock, he averts his gaze.]

I'm not sorry you fumbled, then. I'm not afraid of the truth, Youji.

[Devastated, but not afraid.]

You're sure about that?

[Because he isn't even talking about himself yet-- or Mamoru. And likely he never will. Ken can't exactly get offended, can he, when he can't remember, and neither of them will be so indiscreet as to tell him they were gossiping about him.]

In the future, I won't worry about your peace of mind.

[Omi looks back at him. He doesn't want any mixed messages of body language, so Youji gets his answer head-on.]

Yeah. I'm sure.

I also don't think it's right to say that when Ken died he was definitely like you last knew him. He was alive last you were aware, right?

[Youji had better say yes.]

The last time I actually saw him? Yes. But it could have gone either way, the damn building was falling on my head, and he was in it, too.

[Rattled out a little more crossly than intended, perhaps.]

It wouldn't be the first time you survived a building falling on your heads!

[Yes that is a petulantly delivered protest.]

Either way, you don't have any way to confirm that he's from the same time that you are. Maybe he changed again. How can you prove that the way he acts here is a product of lacking memories?

You think that's a reason we would, I think it's a reason we wouldn't.

[And that is a very dryly delivered response.

...but Omi will now be treated to a slow look of revelation on Youji's face because, well, he does look different.

Still, he downplays it.]

People don't change as much as you think they do.

[Omi doesn't necessarily think it's reason enough to conclude they definitely did survive it a second time, just that they can't assume with full certainty that they didn't. Which means Ken may or may not have died at the same time as Youji's last memory of home.

And in another display of different perspectives, Youji's cynicism is once again a source of optimism for Omi. After considering the argument, a confident, content smile spreads across his face.]

No... I'm counting on him not to have.

Don't be smug, Omi. Girls won't think you're cute anymore.

[That's a lie. Plenty of girls like smugness. But Youji doesn't have any more bitter response than that. The cynicism seems to have deflated some.]

[Was he being smug? He hadn't felt that way-- just... warm. Warm from remembering the Ken he knew, and faith that he had to be right about him. Perhaps it's denial, or perhaps just stubborn optimism, but he wants to believe in him.

But then, maybe in the context of the conversation, where counting on him not to have changed had no practical implication except to mean he was right, it was a bit smug to say that.

Rather than comment further on it, however, Omi falls back on the easier, more familiar banter, and raises his eyebrows in slight surprise.]

Why does it matter if girls think I'm cute?

When you're older, you'll understand.

[Or maybe you won't. Rex was clearly following in the footsteps of her predecessors, but Mamoru... well.

As for Ken... well. He wouldn't know one way or the other, would he?]

I'm not actively seeking out how to become a shinki, so calm down. It's a hell of a surprise to see Ken doing so well, but it's... good, too. I really thought he was too far gone.

Even if he's dead, he's happy, and one should outweigh the other.

[Omi already understands; he simply doesn't think it's relevant. He's not looking for a relationship, so it truly doesn't matter whether girls think he's cute.

Ken, though... Omi may be blind to many things, but he knows in his heart that Youji is right on this point. Ken hadn't been happy in Weiss. None of them had been, and why would they be? Try as he might to look glass-half-full at it-- that they're a family of their own united by a common path in life-- the fact of the matter was that common path was one only found in the wake of incredible tragedy. Weiss was the path for those who only cared about one thing, and it wasn't their future.]

Yeah... I'm glad he's happy.

[It's the only politically correct thing to say.]

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[CLOSED] The Art of Persuasion

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May 2nd post-BBS thread

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