Silence. Seconds of it. If he was being immature, he had an excuse for it. The start of this day, coupled with yesterday, his new life, his new role, could he really be expected to be so eager and calm about it? But… despite his frustration and frown, a small pang lanced through his chest as Rin spoke. Agreeing with him, and yet his voice was so drained, so tired. Sousuke knew he was the reason for it. Not all of it, but some of it. Behaving like this, demanding answers from Rin that the other boy probably couldn’t even give him, literally turning his back on him. He listened though. Listened to that exhausted tone admitting—finally admitting—that he wasn’t as ready to go as he’d been trying to pretend.
Both of them had a lot on their mind, though he wasn’t sure he liked the idea of what Rin could and couldn’t tell him. Unfortunately, he expected it. Rin’s moments of silence over their brief hour together pretty much confirmed it. And he remembered from yesterday that gods retained their memories, while shinki didn’t. Sousuke tilted his head to the side, letting it clunk gently on the window frame, the cool stone leaking its chill against his scalp. Footsteps retreated, the door opened, and a flash of pink wisped along the bottom peripheral of his vision. I’ll be waiting for you. Sousuke tightened his fingers around his biceps, eyes narrowing at the sea of pink resting outside the window. The ones that seemed so in tune with Rin’s emotions. You’re upset too. The door closed and he was alone.
It was a long, long time he stayed there. His mind was busy, troubled, spinning around in a maelstrom of confusion and frustration. He wanted to be angry, he was angry, but whether it was at Rin, at himself, at this world, he didn’t know anymore. Probably some of everything. What was true and what was false remained to be seen, but regardless of Rin’s lies, regardless of Sousuke not fading away through the night, regardless of this world promising and threatening shinki like him… the truth of the matter was, Rin helped him. Even now, when he looked at the mark, his name, branded on his shoulder, that help was there. Sousuke could have kept wandering, could have stayed by himself. Who knows what would’ve happened. He could’ve been completely fine. Or he might have vanished entirely.
But despite Sousuke’s brusque attitude and his words, Rin contracted him all the same. It was more than being a servant or a partner. He wasn’t blind enough to not see the power Rin had given him. Beyond that, Rin trusted him. He gave him a place to stay. Took him in and was intent on taking care of him for all Sousuke knew. He pushed himself beyond his discomfort to give the shinki a tour around his castle, even when he felt like a wreck. No, it wasn’t ideal and he still didn’t like the fact he had to rely on Rin. But… nothing Rin ever did gave Sousuke reason to doubt him. Even that lie was a petty matter, merely Rin trying to be kind to him. And Sousuke’d treated him like it was some grave offense. He frowned at himself again, remembering the dismissive tone he took before they parted. You just wanted me to be all right. That was the simple truth here, wasn’t it.
They might not be best friends right off the bat; they’d probably fight more. But…If you decide to pair up with a God, they'll be really lucky to be with you and I hope that they'll appreciate you. Makoto’s words came back; of course they’d come back. Time passed, frustrations slowly lessened, giving him time to think and work through these strange things. It was embarrassing and much of that cold anger and turbulent frustration faded away into a heavy guilt. He should’ve been more appreciative for what Rin was doing. He didn’t even know Sousuke, and yet he obviously cared for him. Didn’t help matters that his time away from Rin only rubbed other facts in even more. Rin was frustrated too; he probably didn’t know any more than Sousuke about this place (after all, hadn’t he arrived yesterday as well). Rin had his memories to deal with also, though the thought made Sousuke feel sick again and he quickly avoided pursuing that track. But through all of that… Rin reached for him, made him his shinki, gave him strength and purpose, gave him a place to stay and someone to be with. He didn’t doubt that Rin would protect him. And even if Sousuke was proud and self-reliant… it was pretty rude to get pissed at someone for trying their hardest to help you.
Hours passed before he finally pushed away from the window sill. The sun was already beginning to crawl towards the horizon, casting deepening light through the window on the other side of the castle this time. The single cherry blossom rested in Sousuke’s hand; he’d been unwilling to brush it away or leave without it. Of course, without pockets, the only other option was to put it into the waist of these leggings but… no. He kept it in his hand as he stepped out of the room and into the hallway. He wanted to find him…
But he got lost. For hours. Wandering the castle, through halls, up and down stairs, wondering where the hell he was even going! Of course he had no idea which direction Rin had gone when he left. No idea which room he was in. Of course there was no map either and he even embarrassed himself to the point of getting pink under his cheeks when he stood still and tried to “feel” where Rin might be. Ultimately, he got tired and began the process of elimination. Sousuke went from door to door and opened them. One after another. Started at one halfway and stuck to the left-hand wall. Like finding his way through a maze. He’d been more than relieved to hear the sound of the fountain and find himself back by the grand front doors again. But, that didn’t mean he found Rin. Off he went again, up the stairs (dreading the fact that this place had multiple floors too). But it gave him more time to think, more time to feel guilty and foolish for his actions, more time to calm down. It wasn’t until nigh-nightfall that Sousuke finally the door.
No, he had no idea Rin was behind it. All he’d done was silently move the handle and open the door just as quietly. But… it was obvious from the moment he looked into the room that he’d found his god. Found Rin. Without a sound, he pushed the door open and stepped through, moving his large body out of the darkness of the hallway and into the bedroom. Even if the other boy had said he had no “assigned” bedroom, this one wasn’t at all bad… But he wasn’t here for the room. He was here for the person inside it. Sousuke closed the door behind him, trying to keep as soundless as possible so as to not interrupt him (or wake him). But, for everything that he thought and came to terms with in those hours of thinking and getting lost… there was a simple want crystalized in his mind.
no subject
Both of them had a lot on their mind, though he wasn’t sure he liked the idea of what Rin could and couldn’t tell him. Unfortunately, he expected it. Rin’s moments of silence over their brief hour together pretty much confirmed it. And he remembered from yesterday that gods retained their memories, while shinki didn’t. Sousuke tilted his head to the side, letting it clunk gently on the window frame, the cool stone leaking its chill against his scalp. Footsteps retreated, the door opened, and a flash of pink wisped along the bottom peripheral of his vision. I’ll be waiting for you. Sousuke tightened his fingers around his biceps, eyes narrowing at the sea of pink resting outside the window. The ones that seemed so in tune with Rin’s emotions. You’re upset too. The door closed and he was alone.
It was a long, long time he stayed there. His mind was busy, troubled, spinning around in a maelstrom of confusion and frustration. He wanted to be angry, he was angry, but whether it was at Rin, at himself, at this world, he didn’t know anymore. Probably some of everything. What was true and what was false remained to be seen, but regardless of Rin’s lies, regardless of Sousuke not fading away through the night, regardless of this world promising and threatening shinki like him… the truth of the matter was, Rin helped him. Even now, when he looked at the mark, his name, branded on his shoulder, that help was there. Sousuke could have kept wandering, could have stayed by himself. Who knows what would’ve happened. He could’ve been completely fine. Or he might have vanished entirely.
But despite Sousuke’s brusque attitude and his words, Rin contracted him all the same. It was more than being a servant or a partner. He wasn’t blind enough to not see the power Rin had given him. Beyond that, Rin trusted him. He gave him a place to stay. Took him in and was intent on taking care of him for all Sousuke knew. He pushed himself beyond his discomfort to give the shinki a tour around his castle, even when he felt like a wreck. No, it wasn’t ideal and he still didn’t like the fact he had to rely on Rin. But… nothing Rin ever did gave Sousuke reason to doubt him. Even that lie was a petty matter, merely Rin trying to be kind to him. And Sousuke’d treated him like it was some grave offense. He frowned at himself again, remembering the dismissive tone he took before they parted. You just wanted me to be all right. That was the simple truth here, wasn’t it.
They might not be best friends right off the bat; they’d probably fight more. But…If you decide to pair up with a God, they'll be really lucky to be with you and I hope that they'll appreciate you. Makoto’s words came back; of course they’d come back. Time passed, frustrations slowly lessened, giving him time to think and work through these strange things. It was embarrassing and much of that cold anger and turbulent frustration faded away into a heavy guilt. He should’ve been more appreciative for what Rin was doing. He didn’t even know Sousuke, and yet he obviously cared for him. Didn’t help matters that his time away from Rin only rubbed other facts in even more. Rin was frustrated too; he probably didn’t know any more than Sousuke about this place (after all, hadn’t he arrived yesterday as well). Rin had his memories to deal with also, though the thought made Sousuke feel sick again and he quickly avoided pursuing that track. But through all of that… Rin reached for him, made him his shinki, gave him strength and purpose, gave him a place to stay and someone to be with. He didn’t doubt that Rin would protect him. And even if Sousuke was proud and self-reliant… it was pretty rude to get pissed at someone for trying their hardest to help you.
Hours passed before he finally pushed away from the window sill. The sun was already beginning to crawl towards the horizon, casting deepening light through the window on the other side of the castle this time. The single cherry blossom rested in Sousuke’s hand; he’d been unwilling to brush it away or leave without it. Of course, without pockets, the only other option was to put it into the waist of these leggings but… no. He kept it in his hand as he stepped out of the room and into the hallway. He wanted to find him…
But he got lost. For hours. Wandering the castle, through halls, up and down stairs, wondering where the hell he was even going! Of course he had no idea which direction Rin had gone when he left. No idea which room he was in. Of course there was no map either and he even embarrassed himself to the point of getting pink under his cheeks when he stood still and tried to “feel” where Rin might be. Ultimately, he got tired and began the process of elimination. Sousuke went from door to door and opened them. One after another. Started at one halfway and stuck to the left-hand wall. Like finding his way through a maze. He’d been more than relieved to hear the sound of the fountain and find himself back by the grand front doors again. But, that didn’t mean he found Rin. Off he went again, up the stairs (dreading the fact that this place had multiple floors too). But it gave him more time to think, more time to feel guilty and foolish for his actions, more time to calm down. It wasn’t until nigh-nightfall that Sousuke finally the door.
No, he had no idea Rin was behind it. All he’d done was silently move the handle and open the door just as quietly. But… it was obvious from the moment he looked into the room that he’d found his god. Found Rin. Without a sound, he pushed the door open and stepped through, moving his large body out of the darkness of the hallway and into the bedroom. Even if the other boy had said he had no “assigned” bedroom, this one wasn’t at all bad… But he wasn’t here for the room. He was here for the person inside it. Sousuke closed the door behind him, trying to keep as soundless as possible so as to not interrupt him (or wake him). But, for everything that he thought and came to terms with in those hours of thinking and getting lost… there was a simple want crystalized in his mind.
I want to stay with you.