thenearshore | [closed]

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[closed]

Who: Ukoku and friends (I'm sure they're friends)
What: luring people into his hell temple to do bad magic for bad reasons, nice conversations
When: some days
Where: aforementioned hell temple
Warnings: crows in a literal pie

[ The enchantment was a little too much. His fault, maybe, for being economical (see also "lazy") about it, but it doesn't really matter. It worked, and it's still working. The question, now that things have changed, is whether it's still useful.

But there's no benefit in being quick to throw away Ni Jianyi. So he shows up at the temple of Dionysus, not a priest (a not-like-the-other-old-guys professor, at best, with a hoodie over a dress shirt and his stupid yellow monkey hair tie wrapped around his wrist on top of an incongruously sober black watch), and knocks. ]

[ Generally, nothing she does really surprises Ukoku—but the text asking after his hangover (as if he had no experience handling them) came close. That was a week and a half ago. He's never expecting her, strictly speaking, but now, less than ever.

The temple has changed since she was last there. The boxes around the perimeter of the atrium are gone, as are the sigils—and the pool in the center. It's been replaced by a crater with sharp, curving edges.

Ukoku himself is out in his makeshift lab, behind the temple. ]

[ It's been days since the pool disappeared, and the most Ukoku has said about it—in passing—is that he made a mistake with some magic. Nothing to worry about! He's been busy, too, either out of the temple or in the greenhouse (which now has zero plants) when Guy's not, and he may or may not be inconspicuously checking whatever easy, boring lab work Guy chooses to do for him.

On this particular day, though, Ukoku actually makes a point to locate him as soon as he gets back to the temple. ]

Guy?

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[ For once, the front door is opened by the resident god and not the resident soulless shinki-cum-butler. He can't hold on to the details of the conversation they just had -- not the name of the person he'd been talking to, or anything that was said, or why he can't hold on to those things -- but he knows that the person coming over is going to help. That's all he's managed to remember, but it's the important bit, surely.

There's clear recognition when he opens the door and sees Ni. But even as he recognizes the man the spell activates, preventing him from remembering any of those useful little details like where and what... and, ultimately, who. This is really getting old. ]

You can fix this?

[ Did they just have this conversation? Probably. Oh well -- it's sure not Gojyo's fault that he can't remember! ]

[ He was going to try not to laugh, but as soon as Gojyo talks it happens anyway, and he has to lean on the doorframe for a second to recover. Then he's reaching for Gojyo's arm, still grinning. ]

I'm sorry! Come on.

[ He teleports them both back to his own temple, beckoning Gojyo past the monkey skeleton in the front hall, through the atrium, where the sigils on the floor have been washed away and the pool in the center is covered with a large folded tarp, toward the kitchen. ]

Take your shirt off.

[ Uncomfortable weirdness round two. ]

It's not fucking funny, [ --he grumbles, but he lets... lets, uh... lets the man take him arm and teleport him to a temple surrounded by dead trees.

It's a weird walk through the place. It's like the worst case of deja vu ever. Like going back to a place you visited once as a child, and recognizing everything, but at the same time not being sure if you actually remember the place or if you dreamed it once. The small changes don't help: he's sure that there should have been something else here, something... colorful? Paintings, maybe, on the floor? But that doesn't make any sense.

None of this makes sense.

He pulls off his shirt without a word, still looking around the room like he can't quite get it into focus. It's making his brain hurt. ]

I've been here before. [ It's half a question, half him trying to reassure himself that he's not going mad. ] Haven't I?

You've been here before.

[ It's amused, genial, only a teensy bit patronizing. Once in the kitchen, stainless steel and dim lighting and an entirely out-of-place ancient carved table, Ukoku points to a chair. There's a towel on the counter, next to what looks like a jar of badly-mixed ink, gray water with flecks of black and a brush in it. ]

Hold this and sit still. [ He tosses Gojyo the towel and kicks out a chair for himself, opposite the other one. ]

[ He catches the towel. Why does he need a towel? He sits, because he can't think of any reason not to, but he clutches the towel in one fist like he's expecting it to start spouting answers. ]

What's wrong with me?

[ It's not really the question he wants to ask -- he'd prefer who the fuck are you really or give me one good reason why i shouldn't smash your teeny bit patronizing face in, and especially how do you know how to fix this? But it's so much easier to think about himself than about the ostensibly helpful man sitting across from him... for a given definition of so much easier spelled actually possible. ]

Will you wait ten seconds? Relax.

[ He's not annoyed, though—he's still grinning—and he wastes none of the requested ten seconds with preamble. He sits down across from Gojyo and shakes his jar of gross-looking gray water, leaning forward with the brush. This time he doesn't need the same precision: he writes a few messy characters on Gojyo's chest, drops the brush back in the jar, and gets up, casually heading for the sink (and out of reach) while the earlier enchantment vanishes. ]

There. Done.

[ The bastard moves too fast (and Gojyo's responses are just too slow). By the time he realizes what's happening it's over -- his chest is wet, Ni is already walking away, and...

...his name is Ni. Gojyo slaps a hand onto the wet marks on his chest as though he could scrape the spell away, which of course he can't. ]

You put a spell on me.

[ This time, last time... so much magic! At least he remembers, now, having agreed to the first spell. But this one?

He shoves out of his chair and he's halfway across the room towards Ni, murder written all over his face. ]

You put a fucking spell on me?!

[ There may be punching. There will almost certainly be manful shoving. ]

[ Ukoku raises his hands automatically as he turns back, absolutely harmless and innocent. He's between Gojyo and the counter, but he doesn't teleport. ]

You told me I could! And I told you that if anything strange happened, you should tell me, and you didn't, so I assumed it was fine!

[ Shoving, then. Shoving right in his stupid scientist chest. ]

How the hell was I supposed to tell you anything was wrong if I couldn't think about it being wrong!?

[ Did he really say it was okay? He tries to think back, but it's a blur -- that spell did a hell of a job. Still, he thinks he remembers something about going home, and he thinks he remembers coming here of his own free will. It's entirely possible that he really did agree to this.

Damn. ]

But you turned it off, right? The spell? It's not gonna do that again?

[ He lets himself hit the counter, hands still raised. ]

It's gone, yeah. I'm sorry. I didn't anticipate any real problems.

[ He pauses, trying-not-trying to stop a slow smile. ]

But it was a little funny.

[ The lack of reaction is doing more than anything else to convince Gojyo that the side effects really were unintentional. Which doesn't mean he's happy about it, but he can't really justify beating up a guy for a mistake. ]

Not even a little bit.

[ He's lost his ability to laugh at the things he does while under a spell, sorry. But all that anger's drained away. He takes a couple steps back and half-turns away from Ni, pulling out a cigarette and taking a lung-searing drag. ]

No more spells, though. I mean it. I'm done with magic.

Does that mean you don't want to go home?

[ He edges around Gojyo to open the fridge, and stands there for a second, eyeing the contents. The food (Guy's fault) is kind of hiding the collection of booze (Ukoku's fault), but it sure is a collection. ]

I couldn't blame you if you'd changed your mind. I don't really want to, myself.

[ He grabs a beer and kicks the door shut. ]

[ This, from the guy developing the secret magical path home? ]

You want to stay here? Why? [ Sure, there's rampaging youkai and the resurrection of a king so ancient and powerful he's basically a fairy tale monster, but...

Oh hell. Quickly he pulls out his phone and sends off a brief message to Hakkai. False alarm, everything's fine, don't panic. ]

You're not dead, are you? [ --he jokes, jokingly. ]

Yep!

[ So deal with that. He's unabashedly chipper about it, of course. He pops the top off his beer and flips it into the sink. ]

Oh, don't worry: I'm still working on it. I hate it when people tell me something can't be done, you know?

Oh.

[ Well. Uh. That explains that! ]

Yeah, heh, I guess that's a good reason to not want to go back yet! [ Because, really, they don't know if he'd still be dead, right? If he's alive now, why couldn't he be alive there, too? He--

And then his phone rings. He looks down at the caller ID display, and curses under his breath. ]

Hold on a minute, okay? I have to take this.

[ He can go out into the hallway for a little more privacy, right? ]

[ Of course. Ukoku waves him away, genially. He'll just light a cigarette and putter around the kitchen and absolutely not eavesdrop, it's fine. ]

[ ~~Boyfriend~~ Shinki reassured, Gojyo hangs up and heads back into the kitchen. ...Ukoku was drinking a drink. Is there more where that came from, for a thirsty guest? ]

So you're sure you're dead? You know they've been messing with everyone's memories, not just the shinkis, right? Maybe you're not actually dead and they just made you think you were.

[ He was half expecting him to say he had to leave, but if he's not, well—Ukoku nudges the fridge open with his foot and raises his eyebrows, asking without asking. ]

I think I'm sure, yeah. It doesn't bother me. I was old.

[ Almost forty, so old. He leans back against the counter, stretching his legs out in front of him. ]

Don't let me scare you off of magic, though. You'll probably need it to get out of here.

[ Is there beer in there? He'd love a beer. Or three. Three beers sounds about right for a start. ]

Nah, I'm done with magic. [ Beer acquired, he backstraddles one of the chairs at the table -- if he drinks this beer fast enough, he can use the empty can as an ashtray. Everybody wins! ] I'll leave that shit for the baldies. I've had enough.

[ The baldies! What a great topic to not touch at all. ]

Was it really that bad? Should I be offended?

Huh?

[ Oh, he thinks Gojyo means this whole mess. Which, to be fair? Sucked.

But no. Gojyo shakes his head. ]

No, I got... [ How much does he want to share with Ni? Not much, he thinks, but definitely some. A little. ] ...There was this magician, human, living... [ This wave of his hand somehow represents the living world and all the sentient beings therein. ] And I got stuck with him for a couple days.

[ There. That's one version of the truth. ] It was a couple days too long.

[ He could ask, of course. It might even be unwise not to, given the gravity of what's being implied, and the possibility that it could happen to someone—anyone—else.

But Ukoku sinks into the chair opposite Gojyo (if he drinks that beer fast enough it's absolutely becoming an ashtray—there are ashtrays stashed around the temple, but this way the whole thing can be thrown out at once, and that's efficiency), tapping the base of his bottle on the table thoughtfully. ]

So if I told you there's magic to counter that magic, or prevent it, you'd say you've had enough?

To prevent, what, getting stuck in... with somebody?

[ Oh look, and there's the beer emptied. Just in time to tap his ash into, how convenient! ]

See, but then they get more spells, stronger ones, and we get more spells to counter their spells, and back and forth... [ And then you have a cold spell war and nobody wins. ] I'm not a magic kinda guy. I get into a magic fight, I'm gonna lose.

[ Ukoku takes a long drag to prevent himself from asking what kind of fight Gojyo would win, nodding instead. ]

So how did you get out of it? By yourself?

[ Hey, the next time the fate of the world comes down to a seduce-off, Gojyo's your man. ]

I wish I could say that. [ There's more beer in the fridge, and he's going to drink it. ] He died. His body couldn't handle the strain.

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