The flame inside the breathing ashes

[lostinshadows]

Who: Lavi and Everyone
What: Aftermath of various things
Where: Far Shore
When: August 17-24
Warnings: None at the moment!


[A. August 17th - Afternoon]

[After his fight with Lux and talk with Allen, anyone who would have tried to reach Lavi will discover radio silence on his end. He left a note to Cardia explaining he’d be out all day. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone right now, not after the parting words Lux had left him with.

Avoiding everyone seemed to be the best option right now, even if he would argue instead that he was just grabbing some fresh air.

It’s why he’s chosen to walk his temple’s latest addition around the Far Shore instead.

”Someone like you should have never been given a name to begin with!”

His jaw clenches at the memory of it, but it was a mistake to take his eye off the dog since Sisi runs off and Lavi’s quick to run after it.]

Sisi, wait!

[B. I Lost You Again]

[Sometime, at some point during the month, people might find Lavi sitting at an area where Allen’s temple used to be. He has a knee drawn up to his chest, a hand covering his face as if he’s trying hard to ignore the sudden pang of loneliness that hits him. Fortunately, Sisi seems to be his company today, too, sitting beside Lavi and has his head rested on Lavi’s other leg.

The redhead gently gives him a scratch, though he looks distracted.]

Damn it, Allen.

[Sisi whimpers a bit as Lavi retracts his hand to mess with a pair of white gloves that he found - the same kind of gloves he’s seen Allen wear before.

He grits his teeth, the other hand moving away from his face and he slams a fist onto the ground.]

Damn it.

[C. He’s an Exorcist Once More]

[Somewhere in a clearing, there’s Lavi holding what appears to be a hammer that might look a little too heavy all things considering.

He has his eye closed, the head of the hammer pointed upwards as giant seals appear around him, glowing brightly. Gritting his teeth, his eye opens as one of the seals stops and glows a bright red.]

Hi Ban: Gouka Kaijin!

[Slamming the hammer down with the seal stamped onto it, a torrent of flames erupt, taking on the form of a snake that surrounds Lavi briefly before shooting upwards into the sky and disappearing in bits of ashes.]

Comments

[moonlitknight]

[ ..... ]

I know my duties.

[lostinshadows]

Do you mean that as your duties of being a god or as you?

[Because duties can be very conflicting.]

[moonlitknight]

Both.

[ Hunter and God. ]

[lostinshadows]

Then I'll be cheering you on from the side, Mr. Hades.

[A quirk of the lips.]

[moonlitknight]

Zero.

[ He corrects. ]

[lostinshadows]

Zero, then.

[He dips his head in acknowledgment.]

[moonlitknight]

[ A small nod of acknowledgement before Zero turns to leave, heading back to his temple as he leaves dog and owner by themselves. ]

[lostinshadows]

...Wait, I have a question.

[moonlitknight]

[ There's a hesitant pause in his step before he stops, back to him. ]

What is it.

[lostinshadows]

[For once, Lavi himself is hesitant, absentmindedly fidgeting with Sisi in his arms.]

How close were you to your brother? [This isn't a question he'd normally ask, mostly because he normally doesn't care. But Zero might be someone who can help.]

[moonlitknight]

[ He turns to look at him over his shoulder. Eyes cool as snow.

What are you after. ]

What does it matter to you.

[lostinshadows]

I'm wondering how you can deal with the loss of someone special to you.

[It's a weird enough question that Zero is free to walk away, especially if it's enough to bring up bad memories.]

[moonlitknight]

[ He turns then. To fully face him. ]

I didn't.

[ Past tense, implying he had lost him some time ago. ]

But here, I have too.

[ If it came down to his own feelings and Ichiru's well-being, it wasn't even a contest. He'd do anything for his brother. Whatever grief he had to swallow he'd do it. His feelings didn't matter, only Ichiru. ]

[lostinshadows]

[He hears the implication and it causes his expression to shift a bit.

Lavi isn't ignorant enough to miss it, but if Zero had never dealt with it in the past, how could he expect to do so now? Especially when Ichiru's a shinki?]

Would you allow yourself to grieve then if you could?

[moonlitknight]

I didn't know how.

[ It wasn't until Kaito demanded he go see his family's grave that he finally allowed himself to recall the events of that night allowing Ichiru's fragment to surface and reach out to him for the first time since his death. ]

For a long time, I buried more more than my brother in that grave.

[lostinshadows]

More than your brother--your parents, too?

[It's the only connection he could currently make with that.]

[moonlitknight]

[ A dark smile. ]

It's a family grave for a reason.

[ He'd buried his entire family and now all that was left was another vampire they had dedicated their lives to hunt down. ]

[lostinshadows]

[The dark smile causes Lavi's eye to narrow.

But he doesn't push more.]

I see. Sorry for prying.

[moonlitknight]

You lost someone.

[ And by this question and answer segment, he can figure out it was someone important. ]

If you hadn't you wouldn't be asking me.

[ About his past. As if he knew more than he first let on. But he said they didn't get along, they weren't close. Then, how did he know? ]

[lostinshadows]

[At least Zero is quick to catch on.

It's enough to have Lavi smile, pained and genuinely sad.]

...I did, and I'm not sure how to handle it.

[Because he's still not sure how he can probably grieve over someone who's been dead for a while now. He's still not sure how to properly grieve over the potential idea of losing someone he once considered a friend. He's not sure how he would be able to cope if Allen ends up disappearing.]

[moonlitknight]

.....

[ He stares at him. He knows that kind of smile. It's the same one Yuuki used to give him when she tried to hide her tears as if giving him a facade would make any difference. ]

Smiling won't help.

[lostinshadows]

....

[There's laughter bubbling in his throat, almost hysterical before he swallows it down. He doesn't know Zero, never did, but maybe that's why Lavi asked him that question in the first place.

He always had a feeling Zero could see through his mask — that fake smile he could so easily see in others because he does it often himself.

The smile falls, and Lavi looks lost.]

Then what would help?

[moonlitknight]

[ There's silence on his end, the broken state of his soul evident in his eyes alone, and Zero can't turn away, even if he wanted too. He keeps his gaze, and suddenly he's stepped closer, a hand coming down to land gently on his head. ]

Let go.

[lostinshadows]

[The contact has Lavi freezing in shock briefly, if only because he hadn't been expecting it.

But there's something rather...comforting about it that he doesn't dare to move it. Instead, he bows his head a bit, eye closing as he tries to take in that odd comfort.

Crying doesn't come easy to Lavi, but this silent grief — it helps.

He's lost a friend. He's done something on purpose that caused another dead one to finally lash out on him and possibly cut all ties with him. And for that, he can allow himself to grieve even if the guilt builds and swells in his chest.]

[moonlitknight]

[ Warmth seeps through his fingers, extending what little comfort to the grieving. He's grown used to it, the sight of lost souls whose grief has consumed them. Whatever his namesake meant him to do, there was only one path he could take when confronted with a grieving shinki. Whatever he was made of, it wouldn't let him walk away. Not like this. So, he stayed, a silent pillar even when he barely had the strength to stand. ]