23 - Crazy Cat Shuffle

[godsoffortune]

Who: Everyone!
What: Crazy Cat Shuffle
When: September 20
Where: Shibuya & Ikebukuro, as well as the Far Shore
Summary: The new Crazy Cat mascot keychains are sparking real passion in Tokyo's hot spots. Brawls have broken out over the extra-rare versions, and all of this angst is attracting ayakashi. The gods have been asked to step in before things get out of control.







Crossing Crisis

The Shibuya scramble crossing is always busy, but it's especially wild today. Ten new Crazy Cat vending machines have been installed at the mouth of the alley across from Shibuya Station's exit. Rumors are flying that these machines have extra Blue-Star Cats in them: the very rarest kind! A crowd of hundreds of excited fans have gathered, but the people at the front of the lines are buying lots of cats, and the mood is starting to grow sour as the people at the back of the lines begin to wonder if there will be any left by the time it's their turn.

This crowd needs crossing guards... or just someone who can snag some of those ultra-rare Cats and sell them to the back of the line for crazy cash. Everything a god does is righteous, after all.

Sunshine Struggle

Crazy Cat machines dot the Sunshine City complex in Ikebukuro. The machines here are attracting some particularly nasty ayakashi: jealous little purple creatures with too many legs that stoke buyers' envy and need for more and better collectibles. Under their influence, it's not just the Cats going fast. The local stores are selling out of everything cute on the shelves.

Worse, some of the ayakashi victims are turning to theft when they run out of pocket money. Time to exterminate those bugs before they start a new crime wave.

Taking Stock

Accident? Sabotage? No one's telling, but a delivery truck carrying boxes of new keychains to restock the machines blew a tire and overturned on a major street. Under the influence of those greedy little ayakashi, collectors are descending on the wreck to snag their favorites before the police show up.

The dazed driver doesn't know what to do, the crowd is starting to get violent, and those Cats do look amazingly cute. And appealing. And, for that matter, valuable.

Bad Kitty

The cat keychains are super cute! Even gods or shinki might be tempted to buy one and take it home, but taking these keychains back to the Far Shore will give away their hidden secret. It's not just human envy that's attracting ayakashi to the Crazy Cats. There are ayakashi hiding inside this batch of cute kitty dolls, and bringing them through a shrine to the Far Shore will force the hidden creatures out of their plushie prisons.

They're big, they're mad, and they're hungry. And the Heavens are full of souls that smell delicious.

The ayakashi escaping from Crazy Cat dolls on the Far Shore resemble gigantic (taller than a person at the shoulder) versions of the cute plushie cats, with very real and sharp teeth and claws. They run and attack at random once released from the dolls, so even gods and shinki who did not bring the toys back could be faced with a fight. The patrolling shinki will do their best to hold them back with borderlines, but they need help to rend these crazy cats before they do too much damage!

In Summary:

• Placate the crowds
• Squash bitty ayakashi
• Struggle with temptation
• Defeat the cat invasion
• Have fun~

Comments

[redotiertwo]

You could at least play a prerecorded laugh track off your phone, come on. [No-effort comedy is funnier when the effort has actually been expended earlier.

That...is definitely a lot of glitter, though, and Davesprite folds his wings in to observe.] Don't get me wrong, it hurts like hell to do something like that, but hollow bones on a human scale have to be a little bit sturdier than hollow bones on a bird scale.

[kokuyoyo]

I don't have a recorded laugh track on my phone... just someone yelling at me about a dog...

[And for once, not the dog he usually talks about. Coming to a stop be Davesprite, Chikusa leans against the handles and glances around.]

If people couldn't suddenly move... they'd call ambulances and things like that, right?

[redotiertwo]

You could have downloaded one in the time you were gone, you have to consider this shit if you want to comedy right. [Brought to you by Davesprite's definitely real new upcoming book, How To Comedy Right.]

Probably. Some kind of disease has to line vaguely up with those symptoms.

[kokuyoyo]

Are you going to teach me that, too? [Might as well slot that next to the DJing lessons, right?]

[Either way, he looks over the store layout carefully and thinks.]

....Block the door. Bind some people- pickpockets if you wan- and make them noticeable. The crowd that results will help focus the people in that area, freeing up spaces... and making it easier to track the ayakashi.

....Or something like that.

[redotiertwo]

Comedy is not a thing that can be taught, but a thing you find deep within yourself, grasshopper. [And after that very serious exchange, Davesprite focuses on the mission at hand.]

Yeah, ok, I'm gonna have to do the blocking and you do the binding, because I'm pretty sure one day of practice isn't going to get me ready enough to pull this off.

[kokuyoyo]

Yeah, that's not going to happen.

[Even Chikusa considers himself pretty good at spells, but he knows he still can't do any of them on a first go.]

Anyway... Let me know when you get it up.

[redotiertwo]

That's the kind of information I want dinner before I give out. [Because there's no way he wasn't going to abuse Chikusa's use of "get it up" considering how often he makes that joke himself.

He does, at least, start heading off to go draw up the line.]

[kokuyoyo]

[Wow. Wow. Chikusa dignifies that only with a dull stare, before waiting as Davesprite goes off. It's only when he sees the hint of a borderline past all of the crowds does Chikusa finally start to shuffle off himself.]

[First stop: pickpocketing a pickpocket. Considering that it's a skill Chikusa has himself, it's not too hard, and he reads through it even as he reaches out with one hand to do the spell.]

[And... bam. Just like that, the pickpocket suddenly can't move. For a second, there's some inner struggles as they panic in their own head, not wanting to give away the fact that they have a stolen wallet in their hand. Eventually, however, he starts to call for help, and people's attention starts getting drawn.]

[Chikusa, in the meanwhile, is shuffling back to his cart, and going through the wallet he now has on hand. What? Fair's fair.]

[redotiertwo]

You'd better be checking the ID to return that thing. [Guess who's back from drawing that line. Davesprite's not exactly a fine upstanding citizen, but he also doesn't endorse stealing from people who might just be trying to go about their day. Only assholes get that distinction.]

What do you even need money for anyway, you're a shinki. [Stealing from large companies is an option, or just stealing some of your god's earnings. It's like allowance, except without permission.]

[kokuyoyo]

[Goddammit, why is everyone so anti-theft around here? Chikusa sighs and stops to put it in his pocket instead of just robbing it of all money. He needs to grab some glitter first.]

It's good to have on hand.... especially if I want to buy things legitimately. Which people care about, I guess.

[So the other option is to just.... rob money instead of outright shoplifting? Listen.]

Get some glitter.

[redotiertwo]

Don't you have two gods, and don't they get offerings. Steal those instead of stealing from some random passerby who already got stolen from. Also. It's not really buying things legitimately if you stole the money.

[It's slightly more legitimate than, say, credit card fraud, but still not very legitimate. But Davesprite is fine enough with picking up some glitter while he nitpicks this matter.]

[kokuyoyo]

Mm.... We don't spend any time with Hakkai... [Besides when they call him out for stupid shit.] And Roy is...

[Rather suddenly, he lashes out with the glitter, and a small ayakashi that had been scurrying by looks a damn lot confused.]

Weird.

[redotiertwo]

That word can mean a lot of things. [Davesprite watches the ayakashi go with a rather deadpan look.] Also seems weird to have two gods if you don't sound real attached to either of them, though.

[And there's an ayakashi trying to scuttle under Davesprite, so it's getting glitterbombed.]

[kokuyoyo]

I chose Hakkai because it was necessary at the time... And I didn't care if I kept his name or not. I'm not sure if he cares either... He hasn't asked anything from me or Ken.

[Thus probably why they don't stick around much. Although, on the other hand- Well, the other hand is still glitterbombing. With that done, Chikusa leans back to see if this helps matters in keeping track of the ayakashi.]

Neither does Roy.... But he's taken care of Ken before, and Ken likes him... So I just went with them for that reason.

[In other words: Him and Ken both had a preference of different gods and, when it became apparent that one was with the other in any capacity, they got a second name.]

[And this was before the online romance novel or crush realizations.]

[redotiertwo]

So you don't really like either of them, but your hormones made one of the decisions for you and necessity made the other. Seems legit.

[He's just going to continue glitterbombing while he pokes fun at the fact that Chikusa's crush on Ken is still wildly and embarrassingly obvious.]

Seriously, either get some romantic advice from people other than me or make a move, dude, it's getting painful to watch.

[Then again, that kind of depends how many people he's willing to admit the matter to, and whether any of them actually know what they're talking about.]

[kokuyoyo]

[There's really only one reply that can be made to a callout so painful....]

[And that's a glitterbomb right at Davesprite.]

[Chikusa has good aim, and Davesprite is a big target.]

[redotiertwo]

[Unfortunately for Chikusa's aim, Davesprite also has some tricks up his sleeve, and was kind of expecting to get glitterbombed after a remark like that.

One moment, Davesprite's right in the path of the glitter, the next he's four feet to the left and spreading his hands casually. It would probably seem like a teleport if it wasn't for the blur that went from one point to the other in that blink of an eye.]

Watch it, dude, this takes time to clean.

[kokuyoyo]

[Hand flopping down, Chikusa huffs in Davesprite's general direction. Bastard. He'll have to remember that little trick.]

That's the point. Stay still next time.

[redotiertwo]

I'll ask my secretary to make a note about it, you know, sometimes I'm just too busy a guy to stay still.

[Usually when staying still involves getting his feathers full of glitter. And on the subject of glitter, Davesprite's just going to drop some on another ayakashi trying to scuttle by while they're distracted.]

[kokuyoyo]

That life of a bullshitter....

[With one more glitterbomb sent off, Chikusa takes a step back to observe their work.]

How easy are they to see?

[redotiertwo]

It's hard work if you really want to dedicate yourself. [Con artists, for example, don't really have an easy time of it when it comes to avoiding retribution.

At the question, he squints through the crowd a bit.] It's mostly when they get somewhere light hits the glitter that it actually gets easier.

[kokuyoyo]

So... paint next?

[They might as well properly fuck around.]

[redotiertwo]

Yeah, why not.

[This is an excellent plan and in no way likely to backfire horribly.]

[kokuyoyo]

[What do you mean, they're totally responsible teenagers. Chikusa demonstrates this by using a borderline to open up the paint can.]

....Dare you to hit one with your sword into this....

[redotiertwo]

Why does it have to be my sword, though. [And on that note, he's just going to try sniping a passing one into a paint tin with a borderline. It overshoots a bit, but he bounces it back in with another borderline.]