[At least Ken's happy. Chikusa wishes he could say the same.]
[The entire time they make their way over to Hakkai's temple, Ken pushing and pulling the entire way, Chikusa wonders at... a lot of things. Dealing with Gojyo was a bewildering experience all is own, and one he doesn't think he'd have cared about, normally, if it hadn't pertained to a god he was named by. Hell, should he even care about Hakkai? The question gnaws on him with each step.]
[He hadn't really cared about him during the ablution, so many months ago. Sure, Chikusa had trusted that Hakkai would go along with his request to test out his poison, but he hadn't been invested.]
[So why is he so discontent now? Is it because of a combination of Hakkai dying recklessly, and the emotional rollecoaster forced onto him by a resurgence of memories? That kind of coincidence? Or...]
[There are gaps, in the memories he has. If Ken's not there, he's realized, then he can't remember anything, but there's so little of that so he's hardly bothered at all, really. Ken is there, for most of the important things. Yet even when they're together... In so many of those moments he can recall, there's a blur, a flaw. Someone he talked to, someone who made Ken huff up and brighten and cry.]
[Someone that they'd waited for. Those memories, even without all the details that should be there, sting quietly. Both of them, curled up, in the dark and ruin, waiting and waiting for... someone. Hurting, and waiting for someone.]
[Somehow, Hakkai's stubborn refusal to tell them anything feels a lot like that kind of waiting ignorantly.]
[Still, Ken is happy, and Chikusa lets that carry him through as he shuffles after the blond racing ahead. He looks good like this, eyes bright and a dumb grin on his face. With a maroon beanie still resting atop his head from Bishamon's usual training event, Chikusa eventually catches up with Ken... and just straight up opens the door.]
[What? This is technically their home too or at least they stayed long enough. He knows the door isn't locked.]
[....Hopefully Hakkai wasn't on the other side. Him getting hit by an opening door would be just terrible.]
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[The entire time they make their way over to Hakkai's temple, Ken pushing and pulling the entire way, Chikusa wonders at... a lot of things. Dealing with Gojyo was a bewildering experience all is own, and one he doesn't think he'd have cared about, normally, if it hadn't pertained to a god he was named by. Hell, should he even care about Hakkai? The question gnaws on him with each step.]
[He hadn't really cared about him during the ablution, so many months ago. Sure, Chikusa had trusted that Hakkai would go along with his request to test out his poison, but he hadn't been invested.]
[So why is he so discontent now? Is it because of a combination of Hakkai dying recklessly, and the emotional rollecoaster forced onto him by a resurgence of memories? That kind of coincidence? Or...]
[There are gaps, in the memories he has. If Ken's not there, he's realized, then he can't remember anything, but there's so little of that so he's hardly bothered at all, really. Ken is there, for most of the important things. Yet even when they're together... In so many of those moments he can recall, there's a blur, a flaw. Someone he talked to, someone who made Ken huff up and brighten and cry.]
[Someone that they'd waited for. Those memories, even without all the details that should be there, sting quietly. Both of them, curled up, in the dark and ruin, waiting and waiting for... someone. Hurting, and waiting for someone.]
[Somehow, Hakkai's stubborn refusal to tell them anything feels a lot like that kind of waiting ignorantly.]
[Still, Ken is happy, and Chikusa lets that carry him through as he shuffles after the blond racing ahead. He looks good like this, eyes bright and a dumb grin on his face. With a maroon beanie still resting atop his head from Bishamon's usual training event, Chikusa eventually catches up with Ken... and just straight up opens the door.]
[What? This is technically their home too or at least they stayed long enough. He knows the door isn't locked.]
[....Hopefully Hakkai wasn't on the other side. Him getting hit by an opening door would be just terrible.]